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Girlfriend says I'm not big enough

  • Thread starter Thread starter justme1234
  • Start date Start date
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justme1234

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Forum sex, love, and relationships (not sure if i need to post that here)

Currently in a LDR...used to live there, but even then it was the same problem. She is my first so I don't exactly have experience with anyone else but from the beginning, I could not get hard or stay hard inside her, so it was awkward. We never really got around that, but she never wanted to try. She tells me now that I am not big enough even when I am hard and that she can't feel me inside her.

So it usually ends up like, I do various other things to please her, she shows absolutely no interest in me, I leave so she can sleep (cause I snore) and the end.

I told her recently that bothers me that she pays me absolutely no attention and she said that it's hard but she will try. I love her and sex isn't the most important thing to me, but I'm pretty serious about her, and how far is this going to go...will I marry someone who ignores my needs completely in that regard?

So basically I'm not sure what I can try or do to make things enjoyable for both of us since apparently she isn't going to do anything but lay there. I've suggested she could do other things. She isn't receptive to that.
 
justme1234 said:
Forum sex, love, and relationships (not sure if i need to post that here)

Currently in a LDR...used to live there, but even then it was the same problem. She is my first so I don't exactly have experience with anyone else but from the beginning, I could not get hard or stay hard inside her, so it was awkward. We never really got around that, but she never wanted to try. She tells me now that I am not big enough even when I am hard and that she can't feel me inside her.

So it usually ends up like, I do various other things to please her, she shows absolutely no interest in me, I leave so she can sleep (cause I snore) and the end.

I told her recently that bothers me that she pays me absolutely no attention and she said that it's hard but she will try. I love her and sex isn't the most important thing to me, but I'm pretty serious about her, and how far is this going to go...will I marry someone who ignores my needs completely in that regard?

So basically I'm not sure what I can try or do to make things enjoyable for both of us since apparently she isn't going to do anything but lay there. I've suggested she could do other things. She isn't receptive to that.
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Look man. Your girl has gotta show some interest and respect. One person can't do all the work, otherwise it's not what you would consider a relationship. If you are clear about your needs from her and she doesn't respect that, you need to really get her attention and say "Look, I am out if you aren't that into me and can't meet my needs" It is very easy. I understand that you care and love her, and it is easy to fall into that vicious cycle. It's called routine lol. It would hurt to leave but it would hurt to stay with her. I am going to be very direct and tell you to leave her.

By her saying "it's not big enough", if it were me, I would reply and say "Uh, well who the hell do you have to compare mine too?" Not saying there is an affair going on, but it is very common with long distance relationships. Women (some of them, not all) love to have attention, especially if they have low self-esteem so she might be enjoying intercourse from one guy, but enjoying all the "over attention and over pleasing" you obviously give her.

Get out. You CANNOT marry someone that does not love you back. Otherwise, you will wind up losing half of your things, losing a lot of money, and have a broken heart, suffering from severe anxiety and depression until you heal. Divorces are not cheap either. I would truly reconsider this girl "being the one" if she ignores your cries for attention on your needs man. NO ONE deserves to not be loved back. Sex is an act of connection and intimacy between two people, especially if the two are romantically involved. It is supposed to be enjoyable (otherwise we wouldn't have orgasms).

Break it off and go find someone who will genuinely love you man. I am rooting for you and I believe in ya! Be confident, stay strong, and all of us here on bluelight are here to listen always.
 
Agreed, at the very basic of it, there is no respect from her and there never will be. Get out, and when you find a good woman, you can look back and feel good about dodging that bullet. Until then, ya it might hurt a bit.
 
I think there are ways where you can stimulate the G-Spot by adding friction to the top of the canal. Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but the G-Spot is only a few inches inside the vagina. Its on the upper part connecting to her stomach. If you grind a certain way, you can stimulate it.

You can actually stimulate the G-Spot with a couple of fingers... You just have your left hand pressing below her stomach just above the clitoris and use your two fingers on the right hand rubbing inside her upwards. If you do that and lick her clit, she'll get off quick. So, I'm sure the girth of your penis is thicker than two fingers.

And the strength of the erection is more important than the size. I'm sure most women would rather have an average penis "fully erected" vs. a larger penis that is half limp. You actually see the big penises in a lot porno's half limp.

I don't think it's you size to be honest. You need more experience in bed. Don't let her ruin your confidence.
 
She doesn't seem like that great of a girlfriend. Never showing interest in you? I mean come on.... that's not a good relationship. Only one person doing anything?

Don't let her get you down.
 
Teabag Johnny said:
I think there are ways where you can stimulate the G-Spot by adding friction to the top of the canal. Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but the G-Spot is only a few inches inside the vagina. Its on the upper part connecting to her stomach. If you grind a certain way, you can stimulate it.

You can actually stimulate the G-Spot with a couple of fingers... You just have your left hand pressing below her stomach just above the clitoris and use your two fingers on the right hand rubbing inside her upwards. If you do that and lick her clit, she'll get off quick. So, I'm sure the girth of your penis is thicker than two fingers.

And the strength of the erection is more important than the size. I'm sure most women would rather have an average penis "fully erected" vs. a larger penis that is half limp. You actually see the big penises in a lot porno's half limp.

I don't think it's you size to be honest. You need more experience in bed. Don't let her ruin your confidence.
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While tactility in performing intercourse is important, the feeling of requited intimacy is also important. This is someone the Op cares about deeply and wants that love returned. That part is nothing he has control over. You can't suddenly make someone love you my giving them a great Orgasm. I have been with plenty of women whom I have had very very intimate and pleasurable experiences with that we went our separate ways due to our differences. Some people just aren't right for each other.

The Op needs to get a good thing going with a loving woman. Period.
 
llama112 said:
She doesn't seem like that great of a girlfriend. Never showing interest in you? I mean come on.... that's not a good relationship. Only one person doing anything?

Don't let her get you down.
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exactly she sounds like she is just destroying your self esteem

love yourself and you will realise that people who do this to you are worth nothing

and yes i agree with treezy z if she doesn't like you in bed she should break up instead of making you feel shit.

i've been with men with big and small dicks but you dont tell people things to make them feel bad. unless you are an asshole
 
Ruuuunnnn!!.and DO NOT LOOK BACK.and say a smart comment while leaving.. Example.."hey bitch..its a proven fact that a stinky pussy has been known to shrink dicks" stoop to her level its ok to be rude and immature in this case she broke the golden rule :sus: obviously she has low self esteem if she has to break u down to build herself up..i can see her bein alone if u leave her waaaay into her 60s with that attitude
 
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sghouston5 said:
While tactility in performing intercourse is important, the feeling of requited intimacy is also important. This is someone the Op cares about deeply and wants that love returned. That part is nothing he has control over. You can't suddenly make someone love you my giving them a great Orgasm. I have been with plenty of women whom I have had very very intimate and pleasurable experiences with that we went our separate ways due to our differences. Some people just aren't right for each other.

The Op needs to get a good thing going with a loving woman. Period.
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I hear ya sghouston5! Would it be possible to be intimate with someone and not have pleasure having intercourse. Her deal is that she isn't feeling any stimulation. But I'd have to say that she is not being intimate by the way she is talking down on him. She needs to understand that she can be killing the OP's confidence. He may have mental and performance anxiety in the future with other women if he's lets it get to him.

Wouldn't a woman be happy if you were to give her satisfying oral sex, and all the other little tangibles that aren't related to intercourse? She seems like a bitch. Run for the hills OP like everyone is recommending. Sorry to call your lady an "A" Hole. Most women don't act like that... Maybe sluts or bitches do. You don't need that. You need a lady OP.
 
I think you should leave her and you should move forward in your life. You will definitely get a girl who will care and love you from her heart and will respect you and your feelings.
 
Your girlfriend sounds like a douche. How can she expect you to get hard or to stay hard when she is destroying your self esteem and doing nothing to arouse you sexually. Besides maybe the issue isn't that you aren't big enough but, maybe she has a loose vagina. After all the the vagina is a muscle and it needs to be exercised just like any other muscle group or it can lose it's tone and elasticity. Suggest that she do some kegel exercise so that she'll be able to feel you inside of her. I am a female who has had children and I can feel a pinky inside of me; I don't know what the problem could be other than a loose vagina.
 
We could sit here all day and debate the symptoms, such as a loose vagina, her possibly being a douche (which seems likely).. but the cause really is that OP you lack self-respect for yourself. She obviously does not value you in the same way you feel you value her, but yet you feel compelled to rectify the situation.. which is unlikely although obviously only you know her. I think you're attached to how she (feminine presence) makes you feel.. but I would say have some self-respect, leave her, and find someone who will give back to you and much as you give to them.

That's just my take. Good luck.
 
pardon me for projecting a little, but do you have anxiety or nervous issues AT ALL?

Seriously, the not being ablr to get it up could be down to all sorts, from not being physically attracted to simply haveing performance anxiety, like it can feel like a lot of pressure if ya got nervous issues to perform, to get it up, to please your woman, "no no don't go down" - vicious circle ensues. Yeah I had a colourful past, never took it into account that my circulation issues could contribute also to the erectile disfunction.

Basically, why do you love her? what is it about her? Yeah dude it's your first but try to think attachment and losing it, as quickly as possible, that shit can ruin relationships, turning them into co-dependent nightmares.

Just brush up on your skills/

By the way how big IS your penis? If she says it's too small, tell her she needs to do some kegels, her bucket vag is too big. OK not the last part, but unless you have a 1-2 inch ereect penis - then how dare she tell you that? it's not teh size of the boat it's the motion in the ocean, size just helps but technique wins everytime - you need to work out how to get her begging to have you put it in, to the point where she's grabbing it and you give her a spank to tell her to slow down and be patient, then give it to her properly.

Learn how to be a skilled relaxed confident non-needy lover, nay PERSON, then you will get what you deserve.
justme1234 said:
Forum sex, love, and relationships (not sure if i need to post that here)

Currently in a LDR...used to live there, but even then it was the same problem. She is my first so I don't exactly have experience with anyone else but from the beginning, I could not get hard or stay hard inside her, so it was awkward. We never really got around that, but she never wanted to try. She tells me now that I am not big enough even when I am hard and that she can't feel me inside her.

So it usually ends up like, I do various other things to please her, she shows absolutely no interest in me, I leave so she can sleep (cause I snore) and the end.

I told her recently that bothers me that she pays me absolutely no attention and she said that it's hard but she will try. I love her and sex isn't the most important thing to me, but I'm pretty serious about her, and how far is this going to go...will I marry someone who ignores my needs completely in that regard?

So basically I'm not sure what I can try or do to make things enjoyable for both of us since apparently she isn't going to do anything but lay there. I've suggested she could do other things. She isn't receptive to that.
Click to expand...
 
Just imagine if there was a small penis contest, it would be the "World's Smallest Penis Contest" hosted in the United States.

Qualification would start by sending in pictures to the "World's Smallest Penis Contest" website. The smallest penises from around the world would come visit the contest & cash prizes would be given to the top contestants.

Who ever won that contest, I'd guarantee that man could hook up with some hot chicks :D
 
You love her? Are you serious? Read what you just wrote, this woman is straight ripping you. You look like a fool. I know you think you love her, I've been there, I'm sure we all have. But after you leave and get over this girl (it's the only option, she is a waste of time and it's NOT going to get better) which might take 4-5 months you will be much more happy in the long term.
 
if she doesnt make your dick hard dump her. you are not attracted to her. she isn't attracted to you. it also sounds like she doesnt suck cock. She is incredibly immature.

It happens. Sex in a relationship is super important. If your hand is the better option get out.
 
Its not about the size of then mans dick, its about the size of their pussy. if it feels small their pussy is loose and too big. Women pussies are bigger and smaller just like dicks are. Why is it always about the dick? (Its because you can see it)
Its not my fault your pussy isnt tight enough, go get an extra stitch or something. :)
Seriously though, mens egos run through their dick and size, which is mainly their own fault. Most women are just fine with an avg size dick. Bigger would be better, but so would tighter :)
 
baggerr said:
Its not about the size of then mans dick, its about the size of their pussy. if it feels small their pussy is loose and too big. Women pussies are bigger and smaller just like dicks are. Why is it always about the dick? (Its because you can see it)
Its not my fault your pussy isnt tight enough, go get an extra stitch or something. :)
Seriously though, mens egos run through their dick and size, which is mainly their own fault. Most women are just fine with an avg size dick. Bigger would be better, but so would tighter :)
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Any guy that suggests a girl go get an "extra stitch" is usually bald, fat and 50. And if they're not, they will be.
 
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