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Girlfriend and Sex Issues

O

OGKooosh

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 29, 2010
Messages
345
Location
MoCo, MD
Hello bluelight i am about to pour my heart out to you.

Summary of my relationship:
Meet awesome girl 2 years ago, go out off and on for awhile in high school. no sex for awhile because well we were in high school and apparently it was a big deal to her at the time. we eventually have sex its awesome, however it does eventually become less awesome.

summary of my sex life:
i started to have sex regularly, for the first time, with a girl that lived down the hall from me at college. i would say im less attracted to her than my girlfriend, however we have sex every time we get drunk and sometimes when we arent drunk(this was during an "off" time with my girlfriend and she knows about her so dont hit me with your morals).*i have almost zero boner issues with this girl from college* i get back with my girlfriend after this and we start having sex regularly often times i dont cum, but this common for me.

the issue:
the last 3 or so times i have had sex or tried to rather with my girlfriend i stick my dick in her and after about 5 pumps i've totally lost it. as many of you can assume its horribly demoralizing for me.... whats even more odd is that when she blows me i can stay hard for MUCH longer, getting a nut out of me is still a challenge however.

tips and advice are appreciated, this doesnt sound like ED does it?
 
The emotions & feelings of a "new and exciting" sexual relationship can be just as big of a part of getting it up and keeping it up as regular physical attraction. Could be that that's whats keeping you into sex with the new girl, whereas that feeling is gone with your girlfriend. If you want to keep having sex with her, maybe you'll need to try changing things up in some way, new kinds of sex, breaking the rhythm that you guys normally follow, something like that.
 
Yeah. This may sound obvious, but I think you have to be truly turned on with the girl for it to work. This is clearly what your issue is if you're fine with oral sex.

Don't beat yourself up over this... just try new things to get turned on. I'm kinda the same way-- It's hard to get into that zone where I'm really into it with a many girls. I'm finding that my taste in women has changed quite a bit though and I'm more interested in women that are easier to connect with sexually rather than "beautiful" lately. Anyway, what you're experiencing is reasonable and you just gotta figure out how to get in that zone. Have you tried getting her to give you oral first and then going to sex to finish?
 
Tech Kinetics said:
It sounds like you need to start training those Kegels
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^^TTTHHHIIIIISSSSSS.

I would occaisionally have wood problems in the past, read about kegels on BL and I am forever fully functional :D between kegels, edging, and having a personal stash of 2c-b I'm fuckin set lol..

Also eating pussy really turns me on. Getting my face right down into the pheremones sends my dingaling a' schwinging.
 
How old are you, OP? If you were still in high school two years ago, then you can't be older than, what, twenty? It's very unlikely to be erectile dysfunction. You're a young guy, and in good time I'm sure that you will be able to keep an erection for much longer.

It's sad, really, because our young men today expect and are expected to bang like porn stars, and if they can't do that, then they think there is something wrong with them. I used to think that there was something wrong with me, too.

From what I've been told, performing kegel exercises can sometimes weaken an already strong and healthy PC muscle, so I wouldn't recommend going that route just yet. (Again, you're a young guy, and there's no reason for why your PC muscle shouldn't already be healthy and strong.)

My advice to you is this: Learn to eat pussy, and learn to eat pussy well so that when you do blow your load you can continue to please her with your mouth until you've got another erection... which shouldn't take long.
 
Is your girlfriend aware/cool about you fucking this other girl? I know you said she knew etc etc but is this the truth? If not I think your penis feels guilty and you need to end your relationship and let your penis have some fun for a few years. I bet this gets me flamed :) but you're young and the whole worlds out there, and you're only human.
 
badandwicked said:
Is your girlfriend aware/cool about you fucking this other girl? I know you said she knew etc etc but is this the truth? If not I think your penis feels guilty and you need to end your relationship and let your penis have some fun for a few years. I bet this gets me flamed :) but you're young and the whole worlds out there, and you're only human.
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Agreed. Quit fucking around on your girlfriend, or quit having a girlfriend.
 
badandwicked said:
Is your girlfriend aware/cool about you fucking this other girl? I know you said she knew etc etc but is this the truth? If not I think your penis feels guilty and you need to end your relationship and let your penis have some fun for a few years. I bet this gets me flamed :) but you're young and the whole worlds out there, and you're only human.
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Pretty sure he said he wasn't with his girlfriend at the time.


Sounds like an anxiety thing man. I've been with my girl for 5.5 years, we have sex regularly, and most of the time it's amazing sex, we go for a while, we both cum explosively, it's great. However, sometimes, I have trouble holding back, as in, the instant I'm inside her I'm ready to explode. I can't think of anything else that causes this besides pure anxiety. I used to have trouble holding back with girls, but now after having sex regularly for a pretty long time now I'm much better at it, however I sometimes get a weird reminder that I potentially may have issues holding back, and the anxiety returns, and whaddaya know, I can't hold back. Only thing that's a sure fire for me to last long is opioids. :)

On a good dose of kratom I'm goin' for hours. I honestly think that's far more because of the confidence and anxiety relief that it gives me, moreso than the classic opiate-desensitization effect.
 
ok i definitely dont feel guilty, my girlfriend knows about my other sexcapades. side note we were more or less in an open relationship for around a year so if you want to judge me for being a "cheater" or whatever thats your decision.

i have found that the best aphrodisiac for me is a little or a lot(just not too much) alcohol. this leads me to believe that it is partially an anxiety thing.

im back at college now so hopefully the whole "distance makes the heart grow fonder" thing will apply to my penis. in other news me and my girlfriend had sex before i came back here, it wasnt great but it was sex so it was a step in the right direction. also ideally it will break the cycle that i was so worried i was going to be stuck in.
 
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