Benzos gf says I'm different when on Clonazepam

[mr. red]

So I've been suffering from major depressive disorder and social anxiety disorder for almost as long as I can remember. I have been prescribed 1 mg Ativan nightly, and I was taking 1 mg Zanax as needed.

Right now, I am on 150 mg of Effexor, and my psychiatrist just prescribed me .5 mg Clonozapam, and I took 2 mg today, with a couple of drinks, and she says I'm way different. I finally feel right with myself, like I'm not scared to debate with other people and meet other people. It's quite a novel feeling considering how I've felt for the last 5+ years. Is it wrong to take a few more benzos than rx'ed to feel comfortable with myself. I know I need a permanent solution, but right now, it feels great to be easy in my skin. She says I shouldn't need pharmaceuticals to feel good, but right now, it's not that easy.

She is super straight edge and won't have more than one drink in a night, never mind any other types of mind altering drugs. We have been going out for two years but maybe we are on different levels...not sure. Anyways, what BL say?

 

[psychopath]

This might do better in SLR....

I have become a firm believer in the necessity of psychiatric drugs for some people. I am bi polar and it took several years before I came to the realization that I need to take my meds every day to function "normally".

If she has a problem with it and you need the meds to function, find a new girl.

 

[suessmayr]

It's clear to me that you're in the 'honeymoon' period of your benzo use.

In my case, at least, after a few months benzos totally stopped working, and I was just normally anxious on them, and if I didn't take them I was 10x worse.

So yeah, like you said, it's not a permanent solution.

And I don't agree that some people just need benzos to function; anti-depressants maybe, anti-psychotics yes, but benzos? Fuck no. Consider what people must have done for the thousands of years before benzos were invented. But that gets us right into the modern mental health debate...

 

[burn out]

Benzos are like the worst med ever invented. Read up on benzo wd. They only lead to much, much, much more suffering in the long run.

 

[charcoal]

Benzos are not a long term solution as you said, and benzos also like to lie to you and tell you you finally feel "normal" on them. Don't listen.

I got the impression that you are somewhat new to the psychiatric medication world. Keep trying them (anti depressants, anti psychotics and mood stabilizers) until you find an awesome combo. I've read in a number of psych textbooks that the average can be 10 years to find the right combo. It took me 9 to almost perfect it and now at 11 years I am happy in my own skin after spending the other 28 years of my life miserable.

Also, if you trial a med for a significant amount of time (give it several months at least to begin working) and it definitely isn't doing a damn thing and the doctor just keeps upping the dose, upping the dose, or worse, prescribing more benzos, fire them. I fired 3 psychiatrists before I found the awesome one I have now. I wouldn't be well if it weren't for having him on my side.

 

[Ignant]

Stop while you can
Try to increase your self esteem.
Call me crazy, but I would honestly recommend opiates over benzos in the long term for anxiety.

 

[Love In Vein]

It's clear to me that you're in the 'honeymoon' period of your benzo use.

In my case, at least, after a few months benzos totally stopped working, and I was just normally anxious on them, and if I didn't take them I was 10x worse.

So yeah, like you said, it's not a permanent solution.

Agreed.

[qipte]And I don't agree that some people just need benzos to function; anti-depressants maybe, anti-psychotics yes, but benzos? Fuck no. Consider what people must have done for the thousands of years before benzos were invented. But that gets us right into the modern mental health debate...[/QUOTE]

You know what they did? Didn't go very far.

You know what they did up until about 50 years ago?

They labeled them as invalids and put them in sanitariums and/or gave them ETC. Along with what they did with people of any treatable or manageable mental health issues.

 

[love2party]

So you are taking more than prescribed, what are you going to do when you run out early? Your not curing your anxiety you are just putting a band aid over it, if you ever decide to come off benzos, your anxiety most likely be worse and benzo withdrawal can be deadly, so you need to taper. I also wouldn't be mixing alcohol with benzos, bad shit can happen. Anxiety has a big psychological component to it, so you need to retrain your brain to not to freak out over normal life situations.

I also suffer from depression and anxiety, mine came about from abusing opiates for too many years, my body needs opiates or else I get really anxious and depressed. I take just enough opiates to feel anxiety free, I'm content with being dependent on them, opiates help me be more functional.

Anyways goodluck and I hope you find a healthier solution for your issues.

 

[suessmayr]

I agree totally with all the above posts, and I think the OP has got some very valuable advice here.

Benzos are not like anti-depressants, mood-stabilisers and anti-psychotics - they're not as sustainable, and obviously, they're much more addictive. The other drugs just treat the problem, or at least the symptoms, whereas benzos produce pleasure, and eventually, apathy. This is why you don't get prozac addicts in the same sense that you get temazepam addicts - because prozac takes a while to work, works subtly and only treats the symptoms, whereas benzos are immediate, intensely pleasurable and produce a whole range of toxic, memory impairing and harmful cognitive effects.

I think that it can be good for anxious people to have some benzos on hand for very stressful times, but if you're abusing your benzo and you've only just started taking it, I would bet money that you'll get into trouble with it.

 

[Pegasus]

Your girlfriend is probably right. Most people act very differently on large doses of benzos. People close to me at this stage of my life quickly got good at telling if I was on benzos.

My advice is in line with everyone in this thread...

 

[TheLostBoys]

My gf use to tell me that I was 'different' when I was on Soma. Of course I was, I was feeling good & chillin..........so she decided to try them herself, LoL! My girl isnt like yours, she digs drugs.

If you're gonna go down this road, tell her shes gonna have to go along with you on this ride & if she doesnt care about your well being, tell her theres not much to talk about. Obviously shes only looking out for the best in you.

I hate how she commented about "you dont need any meds to feel normal". People like this dont understand that some people need meds just to survive in this world, we all cant be perfect like her.

Altho I dont need or use benzos too often, personally I dont like them that much but others need them to live a normal life & that is something you can not over look.

 

[tyrael]

Benzos are like the worst med ever invented. Read up on benzo wd. They only lead to much, much, much more suffering in the long run.

Yes and no. Totally agree on the benzo wd. I've commonly heard benzo wd described as worst then heroin wd*. However benzo's, when use as prescribed, medicinally, not abuse, they can do wonders (and I've personally seen it, multiple times) for certain people!

Benzos are not a long term solution as you said, and benzos also like to lie to you and tell you you finally feel "normal" on them. Don't listen.

Having said that. I totally agree with you Charcoal - and this is personal experience! It seems I (just recently actually! In terms of just the last month) was experienced the same problems as yourself mr. red.

First advise, hang in there! When ya right in the midst of it, it can often seem inescapable, it's not (and yes, easier said then done! 8) ).

I was diagnosed with also social anxiety disorder border-lining chronic depression - long story short; in conjunction with a psychologist (that is, talking to him/somebody/anybody!, cognitive therapy, relaxation techniques, etc), my doctor (currently on Paroxetine, an SSRI) and work (re-shifting my roles/responsibilities to reduce overall stress). I've been (as cliche as it does sound 8) ) able to seen the end/other side it!

The main reason I personally wanted to comment is that for me, I was put on numerous (anxiolytic) benzo and none worked for me until we tried the Paroxetine! Hang in there, keep working with ya psychiatrist/GP and GF/family and you'll eventually get there!

Edit: if ya needa chat to a (seemingly) like-minded person. Feel free to pm me ey!

*no flamming, this is just what I've been told!

 

[What was it?]

Stop while you can
Try to increase your self esteem.
Call me crazy, but I would honestly recommend opiates over benzos in the long term for anxiety.

Nothing crazy about this. My friend (a psychiatrist) believes the same, but can't prescribe it as it's against the guidelines. Benzos are the worst of all drug classes. Immense suffering, loss of feeling and worthwhile life WILL occur in 100% of patients taking them for more than 6 months-for most even after a shorter period of time.

If opioids do the trick, they are preferable in all instances.

 

[mrflowers00]

be careful about taking more than you're prescribed you could develop an addiction

 

[sveets]

You feel good and "right with yourself" because you are high. A couple drinks and some benzos will make you feel like a god. I think the root of your problem is the fact that you have been on so many different medications for such a long time. But I'm not a doctor so I guess we will just have to let the drug companies continue to manufacture addictive drugs that trap us in a lifetime of dependence.

 

[tm1210mk4]

Sounds lime shes taking sense mate. You might think your sweet on benzos but people can see right through you.

 

[Jakeperson]

My girlfriend says exactly the same thing when I dose too high on Clonaz. It's not pretty and very noticable but you won't know that until the people around you have been telling you over and over for a long time. Trust me, you will be different, you might feel great but you will be a different person and not always a good one.

I have several holes in the wall from Clonaz.

 

[Z Y G G Y]

Definitely take into consideration the many warning posts when dealing with benzos.

Have you tried therapy? After several months of 1-2 weekly sessions my anxiety decreased permanently.

Big red flag for me is the fact that you are already abusing them, on the first day and will need an nearly refill on your first month. Bad sign.

 

[StaffWriter]

I think benzos are fine if used in an "as needed" basis. I've taken one benzo or another for about 13 years because of my social anxiety and it really does make you feel comfortable in your own skin. Some people feel high on them, but for those who have real anxiety issues, the relief can be a godsend. A warning to you though: Even though I'v maintained a therapeutic dose of a benzo for more than a decade (2mg Klonopin or 2mg Xanax a day), if I were to run out early or if there was a holiday and I couldn't get my script filled in time, I have major withdrawal symptoms. Those symptoms include, heart palpitations, high blood pressure, severe anxiety, insomnia and gastrointestinal discomfort. I believe benzos are only to be prescribed for only a few months at a time, but doctors today don't seem to follow that protocol. If you can use them responsibly, they can be very beneficial but highly addictive.

 

[Pegasus]

^Yep, that's a huge amount of benzos to be addicted to. Doctors really should heed that 2-4 week maximum for anxiety.