Hi,
I was using heroin 5 times a day for a couple years. I detox'd several times, but like 90+% of junkies, I returned to using -- within days, weeks or months. Eventually, of course, even detox became impossible without help.
Eventually, a doctor who helped me get through detox without methadone, and found (after calling me at home, much to my amazement) that I was using again, suggested that I actually get into a methadone program. I viewed that as a last resort.
And, perhaps because it was my last resort, it worked. I also had plenty of clean friends who never used heroin, and a college education, to help me get back into a normal life.
Plus, methadone maintenance treatment (MMT) also worked for me because I did a lot of research on methadone & on heroin treatment -- so I knew the side effects would eventually go away a year or so after my dose stabilized, I knew that methadone has been proven NOT to be harmful (because, in part, it is a long-acting opiate), and I knew how methadone worked, and how to think about my dosage level.
And, I learned the difference between dependency and addiction: addiction is a dependency, that's true, but it is a dependency that leads to an ever worsening quality of life. My dependency on methadone has improved my quality of life. And studies show too, that the longer a person is in (a good-quality) MMT program, the better that person's quality of life will be, as measured by surveys, by income, by employment, and by marriage, family & friends.
By the way, I learned what I know about methadone and heroin not via online forums, but via medical journals at university libraries and good quality books written by scientists. (The old Haight-Ashbury Clinic journal -- J of Pschedelic Drugs/J of Psycho-Active Drugs -- was especially helpful. As was the book, 'Addiction: A Biological Approach' by Avram Goldstein. Those sources are over 10 years old now, but still relevant and still quite accurate. And more recently, I've seen at least one published anthology of scholarly articles on methadone treatment too. There's also some good books on comparing the efficacy and appropriateness of different approaches to counseling for different addictions. But honestly, it's been the methadone, not the counseling, that's worked for me.)
*****
A word about MMT dosage --
In the long run, one's metabolism & your level of physical activity determine one's methadone dose -- after the heroin detox period is completely over, the level of one's heroin use is irrelevant. And double-blind studies show that theraupetic doses -- as defined by cessation of heroin use -- typically began at 85mg/day, and range up to 120mg/day and higher. But the dose must be built up very gradually over a long period of time. Most people who continue to use heroin in MMT are simply on too low of a dose.)
I began at 40mg/day, dropped down to 35mg/day, then gradually -- over a period of years -- went up to 160/mg day split into a morning (80mg) dose and an evening (80mg) dose. I could get by with less -- I quit using heroin in very beginning of MMT, after all. But I don't like feeling any withdrawal symptoms, and I like to be able to exercise without fear of sweating out my methadone, and waking up at 4am feeling crappy the next morning.
So I take a dose that enables me to lead a perfectly normal life.
(And of course, I keep my doses locked and hidden away from everybody else, esp kids. Even 1/4 of my daily dose could kill an adult who doesn't use heroin. And much less than that could kill a child.)
*****
True, I have to go to a methadone clinic -- but only once a month now. And because I'm self-employed, I cannot get insurance coverage. But it's cheaper than heroin. (And I don't drink anymore either, because MMT stopped that craving too, so I save money there too.)
Perhaps I will get off methadone someday. But I don't want to be like so many people who take meds for mental illness then think (because the meds work so well) that they are no longer mentally ill and so they stop taking the meds. And then they end up back on the streets. I do think that I could stay clean for a very long time without methadone, but it's those really stressful or emotionally painful times that I could not be certain about. (Don't get me wrong: methadone does NOT shield me from emotional pain at all. But methadone does keep me from using heroin during painful times.)
Well, I've written enough. I just stumbled across this site, and your posting, and I felt obliged to speak up because nobody else was talking about long-term methadone maintenance treatment, but it works. Many scientists have said flat-out that it is a cure for heroin addiction (when properly administered by knowledgeable staff to properly-informed and counseled clients).
And it's worked for me now for just about 15 years.
(One last thing: when I was using heroin, buprenorphine was not an option, but it is now. If you've not been using for too long, you might try that first, combined w/ counseling, and, for a while, naxolone. But this is an expensive option in most places. If you're lucky, perhaps you have family or friends that will help. Of course, don't get them involved if you just want to detox and drop the cost of your habit for a while. But if you really want to get clean, there are ways to do it. And then you can have a happy and healthy life. Or healthier, depending on your Hep C status, etc.)
Okay. Enough said. Go for it & get clean. It's worth everything.
Steve
