Getting off the horse.

[Sagittal]

So, where do I begin? Rather, I even hope this is the right forum but I digress. I'm pretty sure I'm in the right area anyways-- I'm not new to bluelight, but obviously new to posting here. I created an account obviously to make this post, because I am at my wit's end and really just need some sort of feedback.

To explain my situation, I was clean off heroin for 10 days. The first day off [starting on August 27th] I took a full suboxone [ I only had 2, 8mg subs total]. The following 9 days were no more than a third of a dose a day if I even had anything at all because I waited a day extra between each dose of suboxone once I started the third. So it went full sub 1st day, third of a sub the 2nd day, 3rd day skip, 4th day take a third, 5th and 6th day skip, 7th day take a third, and clean since! Today would have technically been the 11th day off heroin [technically still am but I digress about the semantics of that, explained in the following paragraph]

That being, I relapsed today on [what I'm adamant was] Fentanyl. So I have a few questions in relation to that.

I did about .2 of fentanyl [which was cut to safely say] today, and I'm mainly wondering how it will interfere with my withdrawal process. I know I probably have to give more information about this as everyone is different, but I am looking for ballpark answers.

I don't know, the past 2-3 days were the worst once I stopped taking suboxone. It was almost like I was starting to go through normal heroin withdrawal but it obviously wasn't nearly as bad [but some of the symptoms were]. The RLS and leg pain ramped up over those days but started to subside today [being that it was still there and I still wanted to beat my legs, just knowledgeable that it was finally getting better.]

TL;DR I've been off heroin for 11 days, and tapered off on subs which I stopped taking entirely 4 days ago. I had a relapse of a low dose of fent today. When will I feel... better? Ignoring the relapse, how long does it usually take to feel not 100% but at least a functioning human being?

 

[Sagittal]

I should have made this thread earlier when I was eyeballing the threads all day today. Maybe I wouldnt have relapsed but my questions still remain the same because I'm determined to not let what happened today, reset all the hard work I've put in so far. I'm just taking this accident on the chin and going to reach out for help in the future when these temptations are getting unkempt.

 

[somnilicious]

I know it's not what you want to hear but nobody can really give you a solid answer. Withdrawal is dependent on so many things. Time of recent use, lifetime history of opiate use, amount used, # of daily doses and whether days off or breaks were taken.

It shouldnt set you back too much but it's going to feel as bad as you let it feel. A lot of withdrawal is Psychological. As we go through life we are going to experience lots of different pains and they are either going to be magnified or weakened depending on our ability to ignore them.

My advice is to get distracted. Start faking your way through the world and accept that your going to feel uncomfortable and not sleep for a time. It will then get easier and time can do it's thing.

 

[Jabberwocky]

i sometimes got away with using once without getting too sick- i could usually go a month of using every 3 days before inevitably falling back into full time use, and though i'd be very minorly sick the whole time (really not the way to do heroin) its not what i'd call a rattle. sometimes i'd get lucky and be less ill than i thought i'd be given the amount or duration of use. i doubt you'll get away scott free but i also doubt you'll be back to square one.

are you getting psychological help? i probably did at least 30 rattles (or, more usually, up to day 3 of one, probably made it to the end 5 times when i was somewhere i couldn't score) in 4 years cos i didn't realise that there was more to stopping using drugs than stopping using drugs. there is a reason you use, some underlying pain.

good luck.