Needles, ties, etc. can’t have people finding them.
Who don't you want to find them? Parents, people you work with, friends? I mean, I know it's not a great look, but if you don't have a stash spot or a drawer that nobody looks in, it's not like you'll get in legal trouble for it. Unless maybe you're in rehab or similar, it could be bad.
My boyfriend. He’s been on my ass about my use. Weirdly, I’ve held onto 2 grams of coke for 2 months and he’s none the wiser, but I’m concerned about the actual supplies, as they may pop up before I can hide them on him. Best I’ve got till he’s in the shower or something is in my purse. Then I’ve got places to shove things but I need him to not be on top of me 24/7. He’s even making me switch phone carriers so he can see what I’m doing because he doesn’t trust me. I’ve used 2x in 6 months but it’s the controlling shit that makes me want to use.
I get that. Is there anything at all that substitutes for you and he's OK with? Any chance kratom, Kava, or some other shit might help. Is he OK with supplements? Like I guess the line is blurred when you have tianeptine but surely he'd be cool with vitamin c?
No…
He says that “hard drugs are a no” so I just need to stop. And if he’s/the relationship isn’t enough to make me want to stop, then there’s something wrong with me. Which he’s probably right, cuz there is plenty wrong with me. I continually fuck up and do shit wrong. I’ve lost everything I’ve worked for in my life and it’s because I’ve started dating him and chose him so I should just stick to those choices. But I want a little artificial dopamine every once in a while.
That's so manipulative dude he is not a privilege. Either he loves you for who you are or he can kick rocks. He's not worth more than you, and just because you have this wrong with you doesn't mean there isn't plenty wrong with him. This is an outside perspective, but if he doesn't love you enough to allow you to help yourself, then he's the biggest issue you have right now.