Functional addiction to booze - thinking

[AndroidsDreamofBTC]

I haven't been addicted to anything for almost 16 months. Prior to this I had a very serious habit for two years that almost cost me my BA diploma. To some extent that period in life is still haunting me as it has severely undermined the opportunities that are available to me atm. When I was addicted, I was a complete fuckup. I didn't care about anything other than getting high. I still went to class, but I did the bare minimum. My whole life consisted of being high and being depressed when I was not high. It was living hell.

While I am a lot more functional now and I don't abuse substances on weekdays (typically), I've realized that I am "functionality addicted" to alcohol. Every weekend I get hammered to the point of stupidity. I do some very strange and fucked up things when I am hammered. Multiple people have told me that I am lot better person when I am not on anything (this applies to mostly to alc/MDMA, I act pretty normal when I am stoned). It's gotten to the point where I don't even enjoy getting hammered and then being hungover the whole day.

And generally, I am realizing that I don't even enjoy the "party animal" lifestyle anymore. I want to develop as an individual and be around people who I am comfortable with even when I am sober.

What are your best tips about hanging out with other "party animals" and not drinking? I am planning to generally party less, but I would like to keep in touch with certain people and to go parties once in a while.

 

[snowboarder7791]

i kinda feel your pain there... i live in wisconsin where drinking booze is like drinking water.. wisconsin has moar bars per square mile then any other state. the whole state itself has this culture of being proud of drinking and not jsut drinking binge drinking at that..i myself used to think that this was a normal thing but i am starting to relaize that it isnt... i myself and having a few drinks while typing this and feel realyl bad. ITs beens a while for me though and am thinkings that it will prob be a good thing to hang out with some friends who dont drink 2 often until im stronger agaion... people have a tendency to go with the crowd ins social settings so if your not in those settings as often there is a greatesr chance that you can hang with them and nots feel this pressure to "party".

 

[effie]

Levictus, I find myself in a similar position a lot now.. I am trying to cut back on things but my friends all still go for it just as much as they ever did. It is hard, but I quite enjoy being the sober one now - I try to have a giggle at my friends, help anyone who gets too drunk, take lots of photos so I have something to do.. and remember how nice it feels to wake up and not be horribly hung over! The photography trick works well for me - it is something sociable and fun and something to occupy myself with.

I find it got easier as time went on - the benefits were so clear, and I found I got used to being "the sober one". I also started only going out to the nights I really wanted to - if the night/party/company is good enough, it perks me up more than enough if I'm out and not having much fun, I get an early night instead and treat myself to something nice the next day (good meal or a fun activity of some sort) as my reward, while my friends are all in bed recovering..

You could also talk to your friends - it may be that one or two of them fancy cutting back too so you can do it together. I'd started doing a lot more things that don't involve alcohol - film nights etc, which really helped. Good luck, let us know if you find anything that especially helps you

 

[snowboarder7791]

^ effie i a wihs there was moar people like you in my state...

 

[Allein]

I know what you mean, I just don't go out like that anymore, there are other reasons to do with my physical and mental health but clubbing / raving for me would be a waste of time for me without the drugs I used to take, they were a big part of the whole experience and I've accepted those days are gone.

I've lost touch with many and even deliberately with a few as they "retailed".

I'm trying to make a start on building a new life that isn't centered around drugs, for me its the only way but even then I have to cope with the expectation that you drink alcohol, but most people soon forget that when they realise you can give them all a lift home !

Like Effie one thing I don't miss is the comedowns, I'm working towards total non drug taking and I'm all but there its an odd feeling after all these years but other things are just more important in my life as it is now, we gotta keep movin on

 

[AndroidsDreamofBTC]

Yeah, the photography idea is a good one. It's good for keeping busy and not standing out as being the sober one. The only problem is that last good camera I had, I pawned it when I was broke lol (this was three years ago). I do have some money saved up, so that might be a good New Years present for myself (people in ex-USSR countries celebrate NYE like people celebrate Christmas in the West).

I am just tired of getting fucked up and acting like a moron and then feeling like shit for the next 3-4 days. I need something new in my life and I want to develop as individual. I am still planning on doing psychedelics and MDMA, but only when the set and setting are 100% perfect. That's when MDMA/psychs truly shine. And alcohol, well I'd rather just keep it to the bare minimum.

 

[piebald]

in my experience as an ex-addict, addict in recovery, what ever the hell you want to call it..its def hard to hang out do the same things without anything..i started drinking more..booze has never been my "poison" but i just felt like i needed something..but slowly i started doing things without booze..not like going out to a bar, but like going to someones house in the evening..or boating ( i live on a lake..boating= drinking) the MORE i did these things sober the better i got and more comfortable i got with doing them sober. And i have to tell you im AMAZED that it actually can work, you can have fun and be yourself without being wasted, but (for me anyway) that pattern of being fucked up was so ingrained it took a while to get used to it..i dont go out drinking often because im not sure that i could go to a bar and have a water..dont think im that strong yet..BUT i havent used drugs in about a year and i never thought i could have fun and be comfortable without them and i AM. Also be aware of who your hanging out with..if all your friends just love to get hammered, find another way to hang out with them aside from bars..if they are your true friends they will do that for you.

 

[First Bad Comedown]

Levictus,
Well you already seem to know that it has to stop.
Very mature of you.

Some people NEVER get to that point.
I have met SO many people in their 40s that were obvious long-term drinkers.
You can tell just by looking at them, or smelling them.
And they look MUCH older than they are.

They also struggle cognitively more than their peers.
Alcohol is associated with brain atrophy!

I know a 50 year wine aficionado that just doesn't get buzzed anymore.
He is very displeased about it.
Not my dad.

My dad has always been stoic in his resistance to alcohol.
He seems to be without temptation, and I must thank him for this contribution to our family.
If you ever intend on having one, or you already do, you should value that contribution as well.
He did drink and enjoyed it, on pretty rare occasions.
But his father was a true alcoholic, and that was ALL he needed to see.

I drink more than he does for sure, but I hardly get smashed.
This last year has been quite difficult for me, and I drank more than I should have.
But I do have a little secret.

I work out everyday.
And I cannot explain how effective it is, in terms of lowering alcohol tolerance!
Exercise does wonderful things for the brain my friend.
Just a 15 minute routine is enough to make me BUZZED off two beers.
Its great.

My uncle has been a regular drinker for decades, yet he maintains his health the same way.
He exercises constantly, and at age 48 he seems to drink as he wishes.
So if you want a way to 'cheat' - this is it.
Sweat a little bit each day, and your body will handle alcohol differently.
I swear.

I must also say - being sober gets easier with TIME.
This is true for all drugs.
Give it a few months and you may not even miss it!

But work out anyways. :D

 

[stimutant]

i think if you want to keep on hanging out with drinking/pillpopping people the most important thing is that you should try to find out WHY you want(ed) to be drunk/on pills all the time so that you are able to counteract your unwanted desire more efficient. what is it that makes life so much harder/worse when you are not on drugs so that you will/would take them even if there are/were lots of negative consequences? is there any other thing you could use to fulfill this desires, like music, sports or smth. similar? i fear that if the "only" alternative for you to taking drugs is taking pictures of your mates while theyre drunk/on e`s you might easily fall back into old patterns of behaviour.

i hope your getting what i mean, im not a native english speaker so its hard for me to be sure if im writing clearly...
anyways, good luck on your way, mate.

 

[shezinphx]

It takes time and the more you do it, the more comfortable you will be. You have retrain your brain and the only thing that helps with the urge is time. The other thing you might want to consider is maybe telling a few of your closest friends that you don't want to drink anymore and you would like their support. The pressure can overwhelming especially when you have people pushing it down your throat. If you don't tell them how you feel, you can't expect them to understand. Being sober is almost impossible without a good support system. I have not had a drink of alcohol in over a year and I can tell that I feel so much more clear headed the urge is just now subsiding. The times I really appreciate being sober are the weekends, during the day. I can get so much more accomplished not being hung over. It feels great. I still sometimes indulge in MDMA as this will always be my drug of choice but that is only once every year or so. Your body and mind will thank you in the long run. I grew up with alcoholics and now my parents are in their sixties and experiencing all of the health problems that are alcohol related (heart attacks, strokes, liver disease, etc.). I don't know about you, but I don't want to suffer like that. Good luck and please find some support in your social group. It will be well worth it.

 

[AndroidsDreamofBTC]

Thanks for the kind words guys and girls.

Yeah booze is definitely not my DOC. It's really a very shallow experience. It's only fun when you're already having a good time and when have at most 3-4 drinks. I'd much rather do MDMA/psychs/pot occasionally when the setting/set are 100% perfect. No

I am trying to go the gym regularly (3-4 times a week), but some weeks I barely go at all. Most of the time I am just too busy with work (sometimes I work 50+ hour a week) and other responsibilities such as university applications. But part of it is pure laziness. I'll definitely try and stick to an "every other day" schedule. Yeah, the gym does wonders for my mood, but I still don't stick to my 3-4 times a week schedule.

Why do I feel the need to get fucked up? Because I have some deeply ingrained insecurities (I have a feeling some of them are way overblown and they often stem from unrealistic expectations) and a severe anxiety problem. All these issues mostly stem from my inability to deal with the difference between my idealized version of reality and "real" reality. I am trying to teach myself to avoid counter productive thoughts and daydreaming (I hate when I do this, it just sets me up for failure), but it's extremely difficult. There is some progress, but it's really slow (and the slow pace of progress only results in more anxiety/depression).

I have been trying to find some other hobbies. I recently started a music blog and I am enjoying it a lot. I am also planning to join some NGOs and do some volunteer work. We'll see how it goes. This is definitely something I am trying to work on. Find other things to do other than getting hammered.

I have told my close friend about this situation and she's kinda supportive, but I also find that when I am with her, I end up getting hammered (my fault, not hers). My relationship with her in general is a little strange, but I have nothing but the best things to say about her. She's tolerated my drunk BS countless times and has never judged me for it or even bitched at me. She's also said some important things that I needed hear (something none of my other friends have done - at least to the extent that she has). Plus, we know each very, very well.

I guess there is no real solution to this "problem" other than having the discipline to make difficult decisions and not letting my emotions override my intuition and rationality.

I'll write back in a few months to give people who are experiencing something similar some encouraging words.

 

[adamski10]

I haven't been addicted to anything for almost 16 months. Prior to this I had a very serious habit for two years that almost cost me my BA diploma. To some extent that period in life is still haunting me as it has severely undermined the opportunities that are available to me atm. When I was addicted, I was a complete fuckup. I didn't care about anything other than getting high. I still went to class, but I did the bare minimum. My whole life consisted of being high and being depressed when I was not high. It was living hell.

While I am a lot more functional now and I don't abuse substances on weekdays (typically), I've realized that I am "functionality addicted" to alcohol. Every weekend I get hammered to the point of stupidity. I do some very strange and fucked up things when I am hammered. Multiple people have told me that I am lot better person when I am not on anything (this applies to mostly to alc/MDMA, I act pretty normal when I am stoned). It's gotten to the point where I don't even enjoy getting hammered and then being hungover the whole day.

And generally, I am realizing that I don't even enjoy the "party animal" lifestyle anymore. I want to develop as an individual and be around people who I am comfortable with even when I am sober.

What are your best tips about hanging out with other "party animals" and not drinking? I am planning to generally party less, but I would like to keep in touch with certain people and to go parties once in a while.

Yo dude, hope you're ok... i'm in a simular boat at the moment, with a diffrent substance... Although i;'ve gone for 2 days now without it and been surrounded by users constantly. It all comes from within man, it has to be a congnative shift- alcohol is everywhere you cant escape it buttt.... you can not drink it. You wont be boring, you wont be a downer and anyone that thinks that you are 'cause you've stopped is a wasteman.

My best friend has a serious alcohol problem and it's really sad to watch. i went to the pub with him last night and he was doubling what i drunk and i was wasted by the time we left and he wasn't ever close... still full of desire.

I wish you all the best mate, keep it real, get in touch if you need a chat.

Peace

xx

 

[AndroidsDreamofBTC]

Quick update:

I went to party last night and had one beer the in the span of 5 hours. I wasn't completely sober as I was did some speed + weed after about 4 hours at the party. But I am okay with pot and speed, I like how I act on these substances and it was more of a spur of the moment thing.

My main concern is with needing alcohol when interacting with people. I was having a great time even though I was sober for most of the party and everyone else was on 5+ drinks.

I think I am going to stick to my current schedule. Chill out for few hours, and then have a beer before heading out the club.