Hi all.
I'm new to posting here. I've been visiting BL forums for well over a year, reading and learning as much as I can. I've always thoroughly researched every drug I've done and not that I'd consider myself a "responsible" user, because I'm a complete addict, but more of an "enlightened"one.
I promise that my story may sound a little farfetched, but hopefully I will be able to procure a copy of my medical records to prove everything I'm telling you guys is legit.
I'm going to start at the beginning. I'm a 25 year old male. My DOC was any opiates, usual ROA was oral until I learned aboutIV use. I started like most people did - minor surgery. Thirty percocet tens. I actually had a really bad infection from the surgery. But I remember looking at it to see if people got oxycontin for wisdom teeth surgery. Needless to say, I was a little disappointed with my measly ten mg percs.
So, after I finished fighting my infection, I brought my oxycodone with me to a friends house. We went to the bowling alley and that's where I met the love of my life - opiates. I remember being so high for hours. Then doing it again. Until I was out. And that was the end. Or so I thought.
I was dating a new girl at the time. My first real girlfriend. I was 18. She was a bit older. We planned a beach trip and prior to going, she said her mom had some pills that "made you feel really good". I ended up learning about hydrocodone from that experience. My secondary lover at the time.
Around the same time, a friend of mine from work offered to sell me some percocet. I was taken back at the five dollar price tag per pill - it was only twenty bucks for my entire script! I figured what the hell. I bought a few for the vacation, and my girl and I swapped pills and got high the three days we were at the beach. It was euphoric.
After that, we started buying a few pills for the weekend. You know, six here, ten here, etc. then it escalated into some times during the week. I started hanging out with her more; as I did, I bought more pills. We encouraged each other.
Five months after my surgery, I totaled my car. Slammed into a semi. I was hurting. I still remember the first time I did it. I bought an entire bottle of percocet. I didn't flinch at the five hundred dollar price tag. The bottle was gone between my girl and I in weeks. It solidified my relationship with my lover.
Now, we're stuck. We're noticing we're getting sick without. We started to develop connections to get pills from other people. We went through it all -getting ripped off, paying extra, arguing over money, all of it. We went away for another vacation and killed half a bottle between the two of us in three days. Not a lot, but foreshadowing what was to come. I proposed while we were high. She accepted. I bought a ring.
A few months later I got in some legal trouble. I started using more to deal with the stress. I went from one pill at a time to two. Maybe three. 30mg of oxy/hydrocodone five to six times a day. There were times I ingested close to 20g of acetaminophen in one day, taking the 10/1000 vics. It was bad. I started to realize this. At this point, we had a great, cheap connect on blues, greens and dillies. We never really liked the dilaudid, but we weren't IV users at the time. We fought over money more and more. Finally, I decided it was time to get help. I researched methadone clinics and found a local one.
The few days preceding my MMT treatment start, I was in WDs pretty bad. I was miserable. I tried to get my girl to give me some money to score, but she wouldn't. She had her own shit that she wasn't sharing that I didn't know about. I'd buy a bottle of a hundred and only get forty for myself. I was getting fucked, bad. We had an argument the night before and I left. The next day I started my MMT.
I was a new person on methadone. I felt like I was taking control of my life. Unfortunately, the legal problems were still in the background. And the day I started MMT, my girl texted me and said we should break up. My first night on methadone, I went out and bought a handful of roxies. I ate every single one. Just needed to be fucked up. More.
My methadone treatment went like any addict would - I found my target dose... And kept increasing it. I was up to just under a hundred mg a day of methadone, but I was getting a few methadone pills here and there. I really stopped caring about everything, though. My jobs went to shit, money, everything.
Anyway,, not a pity story, but a progression of drug abuse.
I did every drug I could find while I was on methadone. Coke, adderall, ecstasy, weed, etc. if I could buy it, I did it. But I still loved the opiates the most.
I ended up getting my methadone take homes and I shared a little bit with my friends -ten mg here and there. I also reconnected with my ex and helped her out too. She went to a pill mill and was getting roxies. I gave her methadone every week. She gave me one Roxy. Ever.
The inevitable part of my legal situation came. I was going to do time in the feds, with a self report to prison. I decided to say fuck it and did everything reckless I could. Sex, drugs, rock and roll. I did it all..if it was there, it was in my system.
I went to prison and did a few years. Cold turkey off 85mg of methadone that I was on for almost 2 years. I was sick for months. Soon after I started to feel better, I met a connect in prison. I could get codeine pills. A buck a pop, basically. Six thirty mg a day. Started right back up. In addition, met another guy and got perc tens for three bucks a piece. Shit was cheaper in prison! I spent my last year and a half pretty much fucked up every day. Towards my last six months... I started snorting heroin. I paid A LOT for a tiny little line. Half a line. But I got fucked up.
So, I get out of prison, and I'm back in junkie mode.
I was clean for a good six months. I didn't do anything. I was too worried about probation. But... This guy I worked with always had stuff! How could I say no to a couple of hydrocodone tens? Cheap too! So I bought a few every time I had a drug test. Then I'd abstain the last week of the month.
I met another girl. She was also an ex junkie. Just got out of prison a couple months before me and started working with me. We talked. She was also dating the same girl as me, but she wasn't a virgin - she'd been banging the opiates, something I was new to. But I asked her a lot about it and she told me what I needed to know. I asked her if she'd shoot me up if I bought the shit and she said yes. So I did.
My first run in with the needle... Was terrible. She never registered on me. My arm was black and blue from my elbow to my wrist. I ended up drinking a syringe half full of clotted blood. She got off just fine.
We tried again the next week. We were only doing oxy thirties, but I was still excited. It was new and taboo. The next week she got me and I loved it. No rush, but instant high, the needle, the intricacies of injecting... It was just great.
This went on for a while, only a few times a week, until the guy we were getting from said he only had dilaudid for the time being. So, we got it. I was planning on doing a 16-24mg dose... And she told me to only put HALF the k8 in the needle. I was like... Wtf..I want to get high. Well, I followed her advice. I found my mistress after that. Lady D took precedence over every other opiate. I learned how to IV and spent as much money as I could getting as much of it as I could. I was doing three or four k8s a day, halves at a time, or six to ten roxies, two at a time. Every day. I was back in the cycle.
Now, I'm sure if you're still reading, you're wondering why I said my story might not be believable. It's coming, very soon.
The girl ended up getting arrested for grand theft. She was stealing hundreds every day to pay for her habit. I ended up starting some probation mandated drug treatment course, that I was waiting to get into. With that, I knew I was going to get a color and have random screens much more than I was. I didn't know what to do. So, I went CT.
Anyone that's ever done CT opiate withdrawal willingly knows how it goes. I'm in the web, looking up "opiate withdrawal cures". I was also having horrendous diarrhea. I read a thread here about a miracle pill, called loperamide, or better known as imodium.
I started off slow, I bought a small bottle of 72 pills for five bucks and took a couple. Then a few minutes later a couple more. My first dose was maybe ten or fifteen. But... An hour later, I wasn't sick. I didn't feel great, but.. I could sit still, sleep, everything! It was a miracle drug. But... Guess what I do? Research it!
Lo and behold... Loperamide is an opiate! Over the counter! NO FUCKING WAY. I'M SAFE. A few days later my color comes up. I've been taking ten or fifteen of these every day, potentiating with GFJ, cimetadine, the usual. And I pass clean. Amazing! I decided I was going to use this until treatment was over. Then go back to banging.
That was in November of 11. Over time, I started using the loperamide to get a buzz, and not just stay away from getting sick. I would get four doses out of a 72ct bottle. 18 at a time. Twice a day. I upped the dose to a 24, twice daily next, when I stopped feeling it as much.
I ended up stabilizing on 36 pills twice daily. For several months. I would take four stool softeners at bed, and every three days a laxative. I flat out couldn't have a BM. I started to worry more and more. But I knew I couldn't go CT. I'm not strong enough.
So, up until two weeks ago, I was ingesting 144mg of loperamide every day. I did change my dose my last few weeks to 18 in the am and 54 around six pm so I'd have a buzz while going out. But I was still taking 72 anti diarrheal pills a day. Fuck my life.
I have a doctor that I see. He is a gp on the side for a few hours on Saturday, and an opiate addiction specialist during the week. I told him straight up about my issue. I did minimize it, but... He understood.
He referred me to his suboxone clinic. I went in ashamed and scared of rejection. I spoke to the clinical director of the program and informed her of what I was doing, expected to be laughed at and told I didn't have a problem. She asked me to stay in her office for a few minutes when I told her about the loperamide. She came back in ecstatic, asking me to follow her. The pharmacist that is employed there had used loperamide when he was unable to get his oxy dose due to being out of town. And he explained the mechanics behind it. I was in awe. I left my "free consult" with a script for thirty percocet tens so they could wean me off the long acting loperamide and not induce PWDs in me. Three days later, I started suboxone treatment. I'm currently taking 8mg twice a day, but I plan on trying to taper it to about 3-4mg 2x daily within the next week. They told me they had no clue how to even dose me because they didn't have a real idea of what my dependency and tolerance was on the Loperamide.
So, that's my story in a nut shell. I hope someone actually reads it, because I was up until five am typing it on my phone. If anyone has any questions for me,, please ask and I'll do my best to answer them. I would like to start a loperamide thread to go into more detail about that... But another night.
On another note, thank all of you BLers for the information you gave me during my drug using, and I wanted to give a little back.
I'm new to posting here. I've been visiting BL forums for well over a year, reading and learning as much as I can. I've always thoroughly researched every drug I've done and not that I'd consider myself a "responsible" user, because I'm a complete addict, but more of an "enlightened"one.
I promise that my story may sound a little farfetched, but hopefully I will be able to procure a copy of my medical records to prove everything I'm telling you guys is legit.
I'm going to start at the beginning. I'm a 25 year old male. My DOC was any opiates, usual ROA was oral until I learned aboutIV use. I started like most people did - minor surgery. Thirty percocet tens. I actually had a really bad infection from the surgery. But I remember looking at it to see if people got oxycontin for wisdom teeth surgery. Needless to say, I was a little disappointed with my measly ten mg percs.
So, after I finished fighting my infection, I brought my oxycodone with me to a friends house. We went to the bowling alley and that's where I met the love of my life - opiates. I remember being so high for hours. Then doing it again. Until I was out. And that was the end. Or so I thought.
I was dating a new girl at the time. My first real girlfriend. I was 18. She was a bit older. We planned a beach trip and prior to going, she said her mom had some pills that "made you feel really good". I ended up learning about hydrocodone from that experience. My secondary lover at the time.
Around the same time, a friend of mine from work offered to sell me some percocet. I was taken back at the five dollar price tag per pill - it was only twenty bucks for my entire script! I figured what the hell. I bought a few for the vacation, and my girl and I swapped pills and got high the three days we were at the beach. It was euphoric.
After that, we started buying a few pills for the weekend. You know, six here, ten here, etc. then it escalated into some times during the week. I started hanging out with her more; as I did, I bought more pills. We encouraged each other.
Five months after my surgery, I totaled my car. Slammed into a semi. I was hurting. I still remember the first time I did it. I bought an entire bottle of percocet. I didn't flinch at the five hundred dollar price tag. The bottle was gone between my girl and I in weeks. It solidified my relationship with my lover.
Now, we're stuck. We're noticing we're getting sick without. We started to develop connections to get pills from other people. We went through it all -getting ripped off, paying extra, arguing over money, all of it. We went away for another vacation and killed half a bottle between the two of us in three days. Not a lot, but foreshadowing what was to come. I proposed while we were high. She accepted. I bought a ring.
A few months later I got in some legal trouble. I started using more to deal with the stress. I went from one pill at a time to two. Maybe three. 30mg of oxy/hydrocodone five to six times a day. There were times I ingested close to 20g of acetaminophen in one day, taking the 10/1000 vics. It was bad. I started to realize this. At this point, we had a great, cheap connect on blues, greens and dillies. We never really liked the dilaudid, but we weren't IV users at the time. We fought over money more and more. Finally, I decided it was time to get help. I researched methadone clinics and found a local one.
The few days preceding my MMT treatment start, I was in WDs pretty bad. I was miserable. I tried to get my girl to give me some money to score, but she wouldn't. She had her own shit that she wasn't sharing that I didn't know about. I'd buy a bottle of a hundred and only get forty for myself. I was getting fucked, bad. We had an argument the night before and I left. The next day I started my MMT.
I was a new person on methadone. I felt like I was taking control of my life. Unfortunately, the legal problems were still in the background. And the day I started MMT, my girl texted me and said we should break up. My first night on methadone, I went out and bought a handful of roxies. I ate every single one. Just needed to be fucked up. More.
My methadone treatment went like any addict would - I found my target dose... And kept increasing it. I was up to just under a hundred mg a day of methadone, but I was getting a few methadone pills here and there. I really stopped caring about everything, though. My jobs went to shit, money, everything.
Anyway,, not a pity story, but a progression of drug abuse.
I did every drug I could find while I was on methadone. Coke, adderall, ecstasy, weed, etc. if I could buy it, I did it. But I still loved the opiates the most.
I ended up getting my methadone take homes and I shared a little bit with my friends -ten mg here and there. I also reconnected with my ex and helped her out too. She went to a pill mill and was getting roxies. I gave her methadone every week. She gave me one Roxy. Ever.
The inevitable part of my legal situation came. I was going to do time in the feds, with a self report to prison. I decided to say fuck it and did everything reckless I could. Sex, drugs, rock and roll. I did it all..if it was there, it was in my system.
I went to prison and did a few years. Cold turkey off 85mg of methadone that I was on for almost 2 years. I was sick for months. Soon after I started to feel better, I met a connect in prison. I could get codeine pills. A buck a pop, basically. Six thirty mg a day. Started right back up. In addition, met another guy and got perc tens for three bucks a piece. Shit was cheaper in prison! I spent my last year and a half pretty much fucked up every day. Towards my last six months... I started snorting heroin. I paid A LOT for a tiny little line. Half a line. But I got fucked up.
So, I get out of prison, and I'm back in junkie mode.
I was clean for a good six months. I didn't do anything. I was too worried about probation. But... This guy I worked with always had stuff! How could I say no to a couple of hydrocodone tens? Cheap too! So I bought a few every time I had a drug test. Then I'd abstain the last week of the month.
I met another girl. She was also an ex junkie. Just got out of prison a couple months before me and started working with me. We talked. She was also dating the same girl as me, but she wasn't a virgin - she'd been banging the opiates, something I was new to. But I asked her a lot about it and she told me what I needed to know. I asked her if she'd shoot me up if I bought the shit and she said yes. So I did.
My first run in with the needle... Was terrible. She never registered on me. My arm was black and blue from my elbow to my wrist. I ended up drinking a syringe half full of clotted blood. She got off just fine.
We tried again the next week. We were only doing oxy thirties, but I was still excited. It was new and taboo. The next week she got me and I loved it. No rush, but instant high, the needle, the intricacies of injecting... It was just great.
This went on for a while, only a few times a week, until the guy we were getting from said he only had dilaudid for the time being. So, we got it. I was planning on doing a 16-24mg dose... And she told me to only put HALF the k8 in the needle. I was like... Wtf..I want to get high. Well, I followed her advice. I found my mistress after that. Lady D took precedence over every other opiate. I learned how to IV and spent as much money as I could getting as much of it as I could. I was doing three or four k8s a day, halves at a time, or six to ten roxies, two at a time. Every day. I was back in the cycle.
Now, I'm sure if you're still reading, you're wondering why I said my story might not be believable. It's coming, very soon.
The girl ended up getting arrested for grand theft. She was stealing hundreds every day to pay for her habit. I ended up starting some probation mandated drug treatment course, that I was waiting to get into. With that, I knew I was going to get a color and have random screens much more than I was. I didn't know what to do. So, I went CT.
Anyone that's ever done CT opiate withdrawal willingly knows how it goes. I'm in the web, looking up "opiate withdrawal cures". I was also having horrendous diarrhea. I read a thread here about a miracle pill, called loperamide, or better known as imodium.
I started off slow, I bought a small bottle of 72 pills for five bucks and took a couple. Then a few minutes later a couple more. My first dose was maybe ten or fifteen. But... An hour later, I wasn't sick. I didn't feel great, but.. I could sit still, sleep, everything! It was a miracle drug. But... Guess what I do? Research it!
Lo and behold... Loperamide is an opiate! Over the counter! NO FUCKING WAY. I'M SAFE. A few days later my color comes up. I've been taking ten or fifteen of these every day, potentiating with GFJ, cimetadine, the usual. And I pass clean. Amazing! I decided I was going to use this until treatment was over. Then go back to banging.
That was in November of 11. Over time, I started using the loperamide to get a buzz, and not just stay away from getting sick. I would get four doses out of a 72ct bottle. 18 at a time. Twice a day. I upped the dose to a 24, twice daily next, when I stopped feeling it as much.
I ended up stabilizing on 36 pills twice daily. For several months. I would take four stool softeners at bed, and every three days a laxative. I flat out couldn't have a BM. I started to worry more and more. But I knew I couldn't go CT. I'm not strong enough.
So, up until two weeks ago, I was ingesting 144mg of loperamide every day. I did change my dose my last few weeks to 18 in the am and 54 around six pm so I'd have a buzz while going out. But I was still taking 72 anti diarrheal pills a day. Fuck my life.
I have a doctor that I see. He is a gp on the side for a few hours on Saturday, and an opiate addiction specialist during the week. I told him straight up about my issue. I did minimize it, but... He understood.
He referred me to his suboxone clinic. I went in ashamed and scared of rejection. I spoke to the clinical director of the program and informed her of what I was doing, expected to be laughed at and told I didn't have a problem. She asked me to stay in her office for a few minutes when I told her about the loperamide. She came back in ecstatic, asking me to follow her. The pharmacist that is employed there had used loperamide when he was unable to get his oxy dose due to being out of town. And he explained the mechanics behind it. I was in awe. I left my "free consult" with a script for thirty percocet tens so they could wean me off the long acting loperamide and not induce PWDs in me. Three days later, I started suboxone treatment. I'm currently taking 8mg twice a day, but I plan on trying to taper it to about 3-4mg 2x daily within the next week. They told me they had no clue how to even dose me because they didn't have a real idea of what my dependency and tolerance was on the Loperamide.
So, that's my story in a nut shell. I hope someone actually reads it, because I was up until five am typing it on my phone. If anyone has any questions for me,, please ask and I'll do my best to answer them. I would like to start a loperamide thread to go into more detail about that... But another night.
On another note, thank all of you BLers for the information you gave me during my drug using, and I wanted to give a little back.
