From Oxycodone addiction to "recovery, who's been successful...FUCK

[What was it?]

3-4 years and you still get high off 15 mg? if you can take a month off your definitely not addicted...(you just want to get rocked, but hey who doesnt)...big difference than being addicted. Somebody whos addicted needs them everyday all day....u my friend, are not addicted.....my girlfriend got an rx of percs after she had surgery (she never takes opiates) and she didnt feel anything off 15mg. Trust me if you were addicted ur tolerance would be much MUCH higher

Agree, and if you get high off 15mg OCs and like that mild buzz, DONT TRY HEROIN! I personally can't really feel oxys much, other than a bit of dizziness, as the first opiate i ever took was H.

 

[What was it?]

I am a recovering medium-heavy user of opioids. I have been clean for almost 6 months, and to be honest, I don't feel any better mentally yet. I am still very foggy and think about using everyday. It is quite a difficult addiction to deal with.

Shit....6 monhts?? Dude you've just encouraged me to make 100% sure I stick to my occasional use!!!

 

[What was it?]

I have quit opiates many times and in the past have had some serious habits (at least for me). After a run with OC's around 2 years ago- I swore off opiates for like 6 months but then started again. For the last year I've taken Vic's and perc's fairly regularly but I never let the habit go above 20 mg a day and I make sure to take breaks for like 2 weeks or so. Otherwise the expense is too intrusive. Also, the w/d get pretty fucking annoying.

So I guess, at least technically, I haven't been able to quit opiates. As long as they're available I'll continue to get them- at least for little binges.

I think this is an ok approach!!!! Doesnt really impact your life negatively anymore, right?

 

[What was it?]

I don't know what your life is like, but my, I've been using opiates for 4 years, and I do nothing. I go to work, I come home, I sit around and read a book or surf the internet, and that's it. I don't have friends really, I'm not involved in any activities etc. Right now I'm tapering down and am working on adding some structure to my life.

I'm still using, and I don't know the answers, but I've been thinking about it a lot and that's the strongest theme I see. Opiate addicts by and large lead lives without structure. Many don't even have jobs, their time is just spent taking drugs and either spending time alone or socializing with other drug users.

I think it's mostly just about shifting your focus in life from short term thinking to long term. I mean for the last 4 years for me, my thoughts have rarely gone beyond a couple days in advance. I'd sit in class at university feeling excited about going home and getting high. But I haven't had any goals. I think that's really the key to a satisfying life, to work towards things that take time. Getting into a career and going as far as you can in it, getting in shape and healthy, learning about new things.

So I mean what's your situation, if you can say you lead a really active life, have long term goals you're working towards, take care of yourself physically, have a job you like or are taking steps towards finding one you do, and you're feeling totally stuck with addiction, I'd be amazed.

That's the best I can figure. It's a habit fueled by free time and boredom.

These are wise words!!! I can use occcasionally as I really enjoy it, but most of the time I m too busy and once I get tempted to do it more often i jsut remember how good my life is and dont. If you are already stuck in it and dont like your life, try changing your life first and then the drug addicition....its hard doing it the reverse.

 

[lovingitnow]

Hello All
Could someone please tell me what the drug opana is and is it like oxycontin,pers,Roxis, or what? I come from a very small town and just dont understand what everyone is talking about when they say opana. Thanks lovingitnow

 

[PillPoppingAnimal]

THE TRUTH OF LIFEi really fuckin hate to be the negative one here, but i have NEVER seen anyone once addicted to opiates REMAIN COMPLETELY CLEAN. whenever they, I, find themselves in a position of having a decent amount of extra cash, ie 100 dollars or more, a roxi oxi perc vic val or H is def on tap. HOWEVER, such people are able to semi-control they cravings, and drink alcohol (THE FUCKING CHEAP LEGAL ALTERNATIVE), at times they know they either cant use opiates for financial reasons, or shouldn't for social reasons.

not everyone, im a prime example of not being one ofthe people u talking about

ive been clean from oxycodone for about 3 months now...

i have over 60 vicodens, 4 30mg oc IR, 10 10mg oc IR, and like 20 4mg hydromorphones, and i havent budged to take them

but what u are right about is im not taking them for reasons like, i want to start going out and socializing instead of sitting at home high on opiates not getting my dick wet.

but yeah i drink a few beers on the weekends, but surely not everyday

 

[PillPoppingAnimal]

Hello All
Could someone please tell me what the drug opana is and is it like oxycontin,pers,Roxis, or what? I come from a very small town and just dont understand what everyone is talking about when they say opana. Thanks lovingitnow

opana is a very strong drug...

when u take oxycodone orally, 1%~ gets matabolized into oxymorphone

oxymorphone is what is in opana

im pretty sure but u should look it up, 10mgs oxycodone=1mgoxymorphone

so be careful man, strong stuff

id advised against taking that, its strong/better/more addicting/more euphoric than heroin...
also since u dont even know what it is already

and its very rare stuff too

 

[fluxy]

MAn it sounds like your pretty young to me and still living with your parents or some verY stable accomodation? am i right?

At this point in life you lose things gradually, but things get worse and worse and worse as time goes on. doses go up, withdrawals go harder, ability to say no dissappears almost, rehabs are harder to stay in, and on top of that, you still feel guilty when your stoned!

Wait till youre homeless and broke and wearing the same clothes for a week between showers and sleeping rough......

There are many rock bottoms, im sure theres some things that happen in jails i dont want to even think about.

 

[User Name Here]

First of all, welcome to Bluelight, tj. Secondly, I have been 100% clean from opiates--without a single relapse--for over two years now. It took a hell of a lot of work and it's still hard to this day but it does get easier with time (as cliche as that sounds). I had to completely change every facet of my life as the routine and the town I was stuck in only aided my addiction. I realized that every single thing that had to do with drugs had to be removed from my life, and that included both people and places.

I stopped talking to all of my old friends and that wasn't easy because I genuinely care for many of them but I simply can't be around them when they're using because it's too tempting for me. I then moved to a different state because I was tired of passing places where I had bought or used drugs every time I left my home, plus it's too easy to get drugs during moments of weakness =/ My home town is unfortunately tied directly to my addiction in my mind, so I avoid it and the people I used to be around like the plague. I only go back to see my father and step-mom, and when I do, I make sure that I spend 100% of my time with them and no one else. I refuse to meet up with any of the folks I used to hang out with because once again, it's too tempting. It's too hard being in that town when I know I can get something within a few minutes because I still have days where I crave opiates. This is the reason I've made it a huge point to avoid anyone who uses drugs here in this new city, so even on my bad days I wouldn't have a clue as to where I could cop something.

Anyway, that was a pretty bad attempt at making a long story short but to answer your question, yes, I know people who have managed to kick opiates 100% for substantial amounts of time so far [without relapsing], including myself. It has been so long now that even when I've been faced with choosing whether or not to relapse on those bad days I can't imagine destroying all of my hard work as well as my family's newfound trust and proudness of me. The thought of losing everything I've built is truly enough to keep me on track... I can't imagine going back to the way things were because it was absolute hell.

The best thing I ever did was get sober and I haven't looked back since 2008. Once again, I still have bad days but they're so much easier to deal with now as they have been reduced to nothing more than fleeting thoughts and desires that are easily quelled with the knowledge that I cannot afford to lose everything I've gained during this period of sobriety. I have worked waaaay too hard to screw this up, and I am so much happier than I've ever been in my entire life =)

Lastly: If I can do it, anyone can do it.

 

[User Name Here]

I am a recovering medium-heavy user of opioids. I have been clean for almost 6 months, and to be honest, I don't feel any better mentally yet. I am still very foggy and think about using everyday. It is quite a difficult addiction to deal with.

I know what you're talking about because I experienced some pretty bad depression for nearly a year after I sobered up and it made it really difficult to avoid relapsing at first. I thought, "If sobriety sucks this much then why not go back to using again? Screw this." Thankfully I had people who love me remind me that it takes time to get your brain back to normal and I had a doctor who was able to help me with my depression on a chemical level by prescribing me a low dose of Lexapro.

I stopped taking the Lexapro approximately eleven months after I sobered up and I have been fine ever since. Knowing that I can be happy again without substances is one of the most liberating feelings... One of the main reasons I come to BL is to try and help people realize that you CAN get through this and you CAN reclaim your life. If I can do it, anyone can...

I wish I had someone to talk to who had been in my shoes when I was going through my first six months of sobriety because it was so fucking depressing for me. I just wanted to be asleep the whole time. I would wake up in the mornings in a horrible mood because I knew I had to stay awake for 'x' number of hours before I could go back to sleep again and subsequently escape all of the physical and mental pain that the early stages of sobriety brought forth...

One of the best things anyone ever told me was to keep on plugging away at it because it absolutely gets better with time. It took many months for things to even look up remotely but now that I've worked through all of that I can honestly say it was worth every depressing moment I experienced.

 

[PillPoppingAnimal]

First of all, welcome to Bluelight, tj. Secondly, I have been 100% clean from opiates--without a single relapse--for over two years now. It took a hell of a lot of work and it's still hard to this day but it does get easier with time (as cliche as that sounds). I had to completely change every facet of my life as the routine and the town I was stuck in only aided my addiction. I realized that every single thing that had to do with drugs had to be removed from my life, and that included both people and places.

I stopped talking to all of my old friends and that wasn't easy because I genuinely care for many of them but I simply can't be around them when they're using because it's too tempting for me. I then moved to a different state because I was tired of passing places where I had bought or used drugs every time I left my home, plus it's too easy to get drugs during moments of weakness =/ My home town is unfortunately tied directly to my addiction in my mind, so I avoid it and the people I used to be around like the plague. I only go back to see my father and step-mom, and when I do, I make sure that I spend 100% of my time with them and no one else. I refuse to meet up with any of the folks I used to hang out with because once again, it's too tempting. It's too hard being in that town when I know I can get something within a few minutes because I still have days where I crave opiates. This is the reason I've made it a huge point to avoid anyone who uses drugs here in this new city, so even on my bad days I wouldn't have a clue as to where I could cop something.

Anyway, that was a pretty bad attempt at making a long story short but to answer your question, yes, I know people who have managed to kick opiates 100% for substantial amounts of time so far [without relapsing], including myself. It has been so long now that even when I've been faced with choosing whether or not to relapse on those bad days I can't imagine destroying all of my hard work as well as my family's newfound trust and proudness of me. The thought of losing everything I've built is truly enough to keep me on track... I can't imagine going back to the way things were because it was absolute hell.

The best thing I ever did was get sober and I haven't looked back since 2008. Once again, I still have bad days but they're so much easier to deal with now as they have been reduced to nothing more than fleeting thoughts and desires that are easily quelled with the knowledge that I cannot afford to lose everything I've gained during this period of sobriety. I have worked waaaay too hard to screw this up, and I am so much happier than I've ever been in my entire life =)

Lastly: If I can do it, anyone can do it.

yeah man

all of those "cliche" things you hear while ur an addict or trying toget clean

u relize are 100% true, once u (if u) get clean

like, "u need to do it for yourself", thats the most true statement

 

[User Name Here]

THE TRUTH OF LIFEi really fuckin hate to be the negative one here, but i have NEVER seen anyone once addicted to opiates REMAIN COMPLETELY CLEAN. whenever they, I, find themselves in a position of having a decent amount of extra cash, ie 100 dollars or more, a roxi oxi perc vic val or H is def on tap. HOWEVER, such people are able to semi-control they cravings, and drink alcohol (THE FUCKING CHEAP LEGAL ALTERNATIVE), at times they know they either cant use opiates for financial reasons, or shouldn't for social reasons, like fucking christmas eve, or thanksgiving dinner, where theres 5 forms of alcohol and people encouraging you to drink, but NO DRUGS!!!. fuck man story of my fuckin life.

Yeah, it really sucks... Out of all the people I used with, only two of them have remained sober for more than a few months at a time (and one of them has about six months under her belt for the first time in years so hopefully she'll pull off being able to kick this thing 100%!).

I know so very few people who have gotten 100% sober from ALL substances when their drug of choice is an opiate. Now that I think about it, I've actually known quite a few people who were able to kick opiates for small amounts of time but only because they had access to other substances (usually benzos) and could therefore have an easier go of abstaining from opiates. I personally feel that sort of plan never works out because people end up trading one addiction for another or giving up altogether but some people swear they can continue dabbling in drugs after struggling with a serious addiction to a certain substance. As far as I'm concerned, I'm not one of these people. I know I could do a line of coke right now without thinking twice about going out and buying another gram or whatever (I've never been much of an upper-type person to begin with) but I would still worry about jeopardizing my overall sobriety because for me being around any drug just makes me wanna use my drug of choice that much more.

As for the part where opiate addicts have a hard time hanging onto extra cash and whatnot, well, it took an all out war against my addiction to keep me from relapsing at first. Any time I had extra money after paying my bills, I wanted to blow it all on heroin or any kind of strong opiate really. I didn't even trust myself with my own money so when I had a lot of it around ("a lot" being enough to get really high, not as in thousands of dollars lying around or anything like that although I wish that was the case ). I gave my mom access to my bank statements and such so I knew that she was policing me and that helped deter me from blowing my money.

Two years later I now have over $1,200 in my savings account and it is the first time in my life that I've had so much expendable money without worrying about blowing it all on drugs. I used to over-draw my checking account on a weekly basis and then ignore the collection calls that came through all day long and it made me feel so ashamed because I am an adult and fully capable of maintaining a small sum of money in a bank account (or so you would think).

However, I was (am) a drug addict so I had so little self control, if any at all really. I would look at my peers who were starting to grow their bank accounts (I'm in my early 20's so most people I know are graduating school and starting to work and therefore make decent money) with jealousy and disgust. I always wondered how it was so fucking easy for them to make it through life without being broke or on drugs. I thought, "How the hell does anyone NOT harbor an addiction? Surely everyone has an addiction..."

It's still hard for me to comprehend what life is like without an addiction to something because it has been so long since I could say I wasn't addicted to anything. Regardless of this I have accepted the fact that these are the cards I've been dealt in life and I've gotta make the most of everything, hence the newly utilized savings account I am so proud of myself, just like a little kid with a piggy bank. It might seem small to a lot of people but I am extremely proud of my little financial gains because in my case they are symbolic of more than just appropriate money-handling but also sobriety.

Holy crap, that ended up being so much longer than I expected. I always end up rambling in my posts because it's kinda therapeutic for me in a way so pardon me and my yakking...

 

[User Name Here]

yeah man

all of those "cliche" things you hear while ur an addict or trying toget clean

u relize are 100% true, once u (if u) get clean

like, "u need to do it for yourself", thats the most true statement

I know, right? Honestly, I resented anyone who would try to comfort or help me with such sentiments as "it gets easier with time" because I was in so much pain and turmoil that it was almost infuriating for me to hear someone suggest that my problems were not as big as they seemed and were indeed conquerable with time and experience. This was the main reason I couldn't have anything to do with therapists; they just made me so angry because I thought there was no way in hell they would understand what I was going through. I thought, "How dare they have the audacity to suggest a solution when they've never even experienced the problem they're 'experts' on firsthand."

I eventually let my walls down because I got extremely honest with myself and realized that what I was doing was NOT working when it came to sobering up. I had to at least try to embrace other peoples' suggestions because when it came down to it, what did I have to lose? Nothing. I was at bottom and I finally had a change in heart concerning the idea that sobriety is indeed possible, especially with help from others. I fought all of that advice--all of the cliches--for a very long time before realizing that they're cliche for a reason (the reason being that said cliches are a product of widespread success among various people). I finally accepted the fact that these people weren't just bullshitting me so they could get me to shut up and stop whining about my horrible life and all the pain I was in. I really thought they were only trying to feed me tidbits of hope here and there; just enough to get me through another day. I'm glad I realized that some of their sentiments do indeed hold true (the biggest one for me being "it gets better with time").

Good god, I could write a novel with these posts tonight I think this thread has enacted responses akin to personal journal entries for me. Basically, typing all this stuff up feels really good despite making me appear listless and/or nutty