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Friendship with Mr X

stef^on^e

stef^on^e

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 20, 2004
Messages
51
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somewhere in the land downunder
Hi Peeps

Just wondering if anyone out there has managed to maintain a succesfull long term friendship with an x?

I recently got in contact with my first love (sounds wanky I know) , the relationship ended quite badly well over 8 years ago and we have had basically no contact since. Have agreed to meet up to catch up, the thought of which is quite exciting as I am really interested to see the type of man he has become, type of life he lives, whether he's well and so forth. Since speaking to him though I feel almost a sense of exhilaration and I think its because I always felt he was the one that got away (to use another cliche). At the same time though I'm not one for going backwards and am well aware that the likelihood of a reconcilliation is remote to non-existant.

Is meeting up with him a good idea or am I just setting myself up for failure here?
 
Just meet up with him. It wont be a bad thing.
I am friends with all my exs and we all have a good friend ship so nothing wrong with it
 
It's been a while ... I mean 8 years is a long time. Are either of you seeing anyone?
I only have one ex, I'm not friends with him, but we live hours apart, don't have any mutual friends (anymore), and don't really have anything in common. He's a decent guy but I just don't need to be friends with him when there are other people that I enjoy.

I don't see why meeting an ex, at least if it's so long ago, is a big deal. As long as you don't still have feelings for him (that could possibly lead to failure :p ). It seems like you are aware of the fact that you probably won't get back together, so many things have changed, so that isn't your goal.

So it seems fine :) Have fun!
 
I've done it before. It does work out, but it won't be a normal friendship. It depends on the situation. Like llama asked, I'm wondering if either of you are seeing anyone? Are you expecting more from this?
 
I don't have a problem with it. still friends with my x I'm just protective of them still. morphed into a big brother figure thing which is weird but whatever.

You might get random NSA sex offers too! that's the greatest.
 
Thanks for the feedback all

And to answer Lysis and Ilama I am currently not with anyone and have recently come out of a 4 yr relationship. As for him, I actually don't know if he is seeing anyone either. Deep down I kinda hope he isn't but at the same time if he is, that would be fine by me too. I just hope he is well and happy and to see that for myself would just be great.

To be honest I'm not expecting anything from this but if anything was to happen that would be a bonus. I've always felt he was the "one that got away" but I might be completely wrong here, we were just kids when we were together so I might be projecting quite an idealistic view of our relationship because of that? I don't know, I'm not a psychologist ;p
 
Put on a nice outfit and be real nice to him... maybe he's thinking the same things about you.

I have sort of rekindled a relationship with my Ex.. which hasn't worked out perfectly at all times but as it turns out we do still love each other and can be in each other's lives. And the sex is great :)
 
Last time I was in almost this exact same situation, the girl and I ended up getting back together and it being even better than it was the first time around. As the time apart passed, we had both grown more mature and worked on our own issues. I hope it goes well for you and if you can be bothered, an update would be nice too. :D
 
most of them. it's the mature thing to do, and it means you're actually over the relationship with said person. Fair enough if you were in a totally toxic relationship, with a scummy person, but even then, you'd hope down the line that you could forgive them and they'd change right? Yeah pretty much.

I think it's going to be very healthy for you to do this - you obviously hold onto some negaativve energy with regard to him, so maybe with this meeting you can find some closure and a new perspective, even a friendship.
 
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