Mental Health Free from 15 years of Benzo addiction, advice?

[darkpassenger]

Hey they bluelighters. Only my third post so please bear with! I'm fresh and clean from 15 years of benzo addiction at the age of 35. It's surreal to think at the age of 20 I was was put on 6mg (1mg x6 daily) Alprazolam starting dose plus 15-20mg Diazepam prn with out any knowledge pasted on from the treating doctor as to its effects / action or addictive qualities. Obviously these initial doses soon skyrocketed to incredible quantities sometimes past lethal levels, the Alprazolam at one stage up to 100mg daily -50x2mg plus diazepam 50mg -10x5mg leading to hospitalisation, even resuscitation. These levels were not prescribed obviously. This continued on a daily basis for 10 years leading to the past 5 years stable on 10mg clonazepam -5x2mg maintenance dose to finally be converted to Diaz and withdrawn. A lot of people find these quantities hard to believe I know, but sadly this is the case. I'm now 5 months out and relatively back to normal with the aid of a methylphenidate modafinal 'cog native enhancer' combination to combat a cognitive fog, impairment, fatigue, sleep alteration, intense anxiety. Does anyone have advice or experience with benzo withdrawal syndrome? Or know of anything I can do or take? to aid healing? GABAa... Naturally occurring agonists? Etc.... Thanks in advance

 

[flyhighk]

Taking any gaba agonist, including gaba-b agonists like baclofen or phenibut will set you back. Avoid anything that affects the gaba system.
Working out is always good for you. You can take melatonin as a sleep aid, and nootropics like piracetam to help cognitive function.

 

[Shrooms00087]

My friend you abused your prescription. To combat the withdraws you were put on methylphenidate which is just as addicting (if not more so)...It also comes with unfavorable side effects. So for the love of God don't abuse the methylphenidate. As with any withdraws you're just going to have to ride it out as your body flushes it out. Keep an eye on your stimulant in-takes.

 

[sonicwhite]

Actually avoid anything that effect the gaba receptors. It will only kick in the withdrawals. 5 months is good. Your doing good.....Just press thru it....I am on 1 mg twice daily klonopin and I know not that much but the way my body is it's a lot. Hope you the best.

 

[darkpassenger]

Cheers guys!.. It's nice to hear appreciated. Yeah I'm the first to admit the abuse of those prescriptions and totally understand now to what extent my GABA system has been effected ( scary ) and it may be 2-3 years before total ' normality ' returns . To be honest I don't have a baseline for 'normal ' as I can't remember what that feels like. The nootropics are really helping as with the methylphenidate, I find it hard on both a physical and psychological to get out of bed with out these aids. I'm totally aware of my addictive 'nature' and possible ramifications , thanks for the concerns!, and after the brutal benzo withdrawal I don't want to withdraw from anything again in such quantities. I was stupid to look into non benzo GABA agonists as I know this would only set progress back. Piracetam please tell me more? Nootropics seem to be the only pharmaceutical that will help.....

P.S. Sonicwhite your totally right!, I should avoid all GABA agonists, I had a few drinks last night and today I've experienced the shakes, adrenaline rushes, intense anxiety on and off..... Thanks

 

[Allein]

To be honest I don't have a baseline for 'normal ' as I can't remember what that feels like..

Hi darkpassenger,

You make a really interesting and valuable observation in that statement, I don't think there is anyway we can establish what is 'normal' for ourselves, but we do know if things are having a detrimental impact on our lives.

I had a bad run with Diazepam over a few years so I have no problem believing your dosage levels, I was drinking at the same time and things got very messy.....as far as I can remember

It's well over a year since I stopped daily use and I've only used benzos a handful of times in that period, I gave up drinking at least 2 years ago now and have managed total abstinence with that, the drink was having a much wider range of physical issues.

I've read about the possible long term effects on cognition for both alcohol and benzos, maybe I've been fortunate or maybe the fact that I hardly drank for many years and only really abused benzos for a couple of years played in my favour but I don't feel I've been left with any long term issues with my cognition.

I continue to have problems with insomnia but as someone who has abused stimulants for many years that may be a more likely source of that problem. I would be very careful not to become reliant on stimulants, I convinced myself for some time that my use of amphetamines was therapeutic, it wasn't and I'm better off without them...I'm working on that.

I hope these symptoms start to resolve themselves, all my best wishes

 

[darkpassenger]

Hi Allien,

Thanks for the kind words, it's true isn't it, those of us who have clouded our perception of reality for to long will never really find 'normal' again. I believe on the whole the primary reason for people like ourselves abusing substances such as Benzo's and alcohol that are GABAergic is the fact they do alter or cloud our perception of reality or our 'normal' that for whatever reason we
are innately unhappy with and feel the need to escape it. So obviously after years of being detached or altered chemically we may never remember that initial 'normal' state of being or possibly want to? What we can do is create a new normal for our selfs with all the experience ,knowledge ,wisdom and hindsight of our journeys.

1 year from Benzo's and 2 from drinking, well done Allien!, It's always appreciated to hear others success stories particularly when there( your ) experience is embedded with such similar or familiar traits and creates inspiration for others along the way.

I totally hear you on the stimulant front, it is a fine line sometimes between what's actually therapeutic and what's perceived as therapeutic. As you said we do know what's detrimental though.

Ive vey been reliant on many substances in my time and experienced some dark times within/after withdrawal, but what I'm experiencing now is by far the most evil I would not wish this on anyone. I urge others in a Benzo spiral to thoroughly research a taper plan with there dr or specialist and free themselves.