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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Cheshire_Kat

First time MXE +++++ Trip – M-Hole – Dosage: Unknown - Experience: None - Ego-death.

JarBag

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 16, 2011
Messages
160
Location
Itchycoo Park
It’s almost 9pm, my friend gathers together from his what felt like an unlimited supply of MXE (25grams+.) He said he bumped 70mg earlier and did similar measurements and was 'fine'. He eyeballed '50mg' for me, but was really hard to tell. I really doubt it was just 50mg, unless you can m-hole and have ego-death on 50mg. It really could have been just about any dose.

**Update on dosage -- Confirmed to be 120mg at the minimum of MXE.**


I sublingually take the MXE. My friend who binged for almost three weeks straight on MXE said that sublingually was possibly the best way to go about.

Go to the bathroom and come out a few minutes later, the taste is awful. I have never snorted anything, but I am now considering.
By 10 minutes in I am already sitting with my legs crossed on the floor can barely feel my limbs and already what felt like an early third dxm plateau. Kicked in hard and fast, I was not expecting this.

15 minutes in, my friend suggests we go to my other friend’s house, Michael.
“Whatever you wanna do, man” – Me.

We head down stairs walking past his Mom. I said bye and tried to walk straight down the stairs but was already entering this dark place in my mind, everything went widescreen.
I got a drink, tried not to spill it everywhere, succeeded.
Every time you do a drug, it feels like another drug, but this was its own thing.
I was like “dude, feel my heart, I think it’s beating really fast.” He said it was fine, I sort of laughed.
I was really glad he never said anything like if I was doing okay, that would've hardcore psyched me out.
He would never fuck with someone tripping either, we've both been hospitalized for different reasons.
We are definitely pretty conservative and safe with drugs though.
I have never had a 100% bad trip either, just bad parts. And to be honest to me the only time a trip has gone 'bad' is full blown psychosis.

We hopped in the car, by this point, less than 20 minutes in I am almost fully dissociated.
He gave me a cigarette, which just slowly went away as I smoked it, only noticed it thrice. I was completely numb 20 minutes in. Driving down the road, going 50 in the passenger seat I started to feel all kinds of things. From feeling good, to thinking I am dying, to thinking I am dead, to awful waves of anxiety, paranoia. I was paranoid I would get paranoid that he may try to kill me. All over the place.

Although this is my first time with MXE, I have done DXM 30+ times, acid 10+ times and probably 50 other trips
I have also done ketamine once, IV'd. It was a K-Hole. Felt smoother than MXE. MXE was way more confusing, but then again when I did ketamine it was really just: 1. IV 2. Back 3. What happened?

I kept myself together, but music was 'gone', didn’t know if it was playing, major auditory flanging.
I worried a little bit thinking I couldn’t breathe, since when I inhaled, it was fine, but the only thing I felt was me exhaling. This odd sensation in my lungs..
All the sudden everyone I heard talk and myself had major lisps. He said we didn’t.
I was just in the sky\space\I have no idea what was going on anymore, was just completely gone.

Texting my Dad to say I wouldn’t be coming home that night was so difficult, I ended up managing to text like myself with a little help from my friend.

We went through a drive thru, he told me to taste the coffee, the best coffee ever. I took a small sip and not large since my sense of temperature was off... completely off.
Honestly I don’t really know what happened the next two hours, but in all this time I experienced ego death, had my second hardest trip yet..
We had met up with another friend and I kept thinking about getting out the car to loiter outside of where we bought a drink, but I was too fucked up.
I asked him about my pupils, he said they were fine. I was like, the hell? They got really constricted later and my pupils are fine the next day.

I couldn’t walk, was too paranoid too (didn't want to see cops.) Later we drove to walmart, they went in but I wanted to stay in the car.
I called a friend and talked for a few minutes to tell him what I was experiencing. I really couldn't form words or reality.

I kept putting my seatbelt on when it was parked, because I kept thinking it would stop me from falling through existence.

My other friend who had showed up go to walmart treated me like a normal human, I apologized for how out of it I was. He was 0% bothered by me. (The guy who we hung out with for a bit before walmart\during.)

At about 11pm back at the original house I dropped at I had gathered myself together a bit, still felt like I was floating and couldn’t feel anything on my body and it was so hard to walk. Craziest audio flanging as I lied on the ground merging as matter with everything and nothing which was existence to me at the time.

By 1am I felt good to drive, but chose not to.

Luckily we ended up not going to my other friend’s house (original plans) till about 2 and we smoked weed there.
My HPPD kicked in pretty hard as I faded away.
I didn’t want to go to his house earlier since I kept saying: “I can’t see his Dad like this, I can’t mask this.” He wasn’t going to take us there yet anyway, he's a great trip sitter. (Not for that reason, but from prior experiences.) I said a few embarrassing personal things, which is fine now.. I crashed so hard that night, felt like an MDMA comedown. This is for sure MXE though, even though that doesn't seem to sound normal.

So much happened, I can’t even describe everything. Was one of the craziest things ever. Normally I can explain\sum up trips a bit but this is too different. Sorry for the sporadic report, it is now the next day and I feel kind of flustered, about a million typos I had to correct.

All around, less euphoric than DXM to me, but I need to try a lower dose, as high dose DXM doses aren't very euphoric either.
Will experiment more with this. This trip made me rethink my perspective on thinking about doing heroin, and thought about how I don't want to destroy my life for a few hours of bliss.

I feel better as a person, kind of new.

Peace.
 
Last edited:
Just a tip; if you are going to be doing large amounts of dissociatives or psychedelics to the point where you experience ego death you probably don't want to do so on nights when you need to communicate with your father, or on nights when you are hanging out in a Wal-Mart parking lot.

These chemicals are truly a gift, and I am glad you got something positive out of it. In the future you may want to treat these substances with a bit more respect and plan out a place to have the trip with a sitter and no interruptions.

I hate to be a buzz kill, but imagine if you had got pulled over and had to talk to the police?

Better safe than sorry.

Namaste
 
Thanks for the reply. I mean, I had no idea I was going to trip so hard, I thought I was going to start with a 'light common' dose to just try out MXE.

I didn't really for sure have to communicate with my Dad, but it was so I didn't have to worry about it during the trip, a precautionary.

If at anytime I wanted to go back to his place or do really anything he would've definitely taken me. But, I never like to 'declare' bad trips, not in an egotistical way, but once that is done, it can only get worse.

"I hate to be a buzz kill, but imagine if you had got pulled over and had to talk to the police? "
And definitely not a buzzkill, I was thinking about that a lot of the time. That's mostly the reason I stayed in the car, didn't feel comfortable being in 'public.'

Regardless though, thanks.
 
I sniffed 50mg of MXE and went on a ket like trip for a few hours, then made the fatal error of railing a further 100mg - went to a place I can't possibly describe - the first thing I remember was my girlfriend trying to make me come round as I was face down on the living room floor, I managed to get to my knees by grabbing the sofa where I proceeded to spew what I thought were gold stars on the floor, by the time I'd staggered upstairs, me and my girlfriend had a shared delusion that we had both turned into 'New Jack City' crackheads and we'd ruined our lives. Basically one of the most intense, scary, preposterous drug experiences I'd ever had, and I'm very experienced with LSD, Salvia, Ket and most other drugs too. MXE handed my ass to me on a plate, basically...
 
Crazy shit, man. I would say MXE has a whole feeling of its own in the world of drugs, personally. Which is a crazy thing, I can't remember the last time I thought to myself. "This is too high, but I'll ride it out."

**Update on dosage** -- Confirmed to be 120mg+ of MXE originally.

I'm currently experimenting with 12-15mg at the moment, sublingually. Completely different experience, obvously. M-hole to threshold makes it feel completely different. This is much more gentle, is taking longer, and is also euphoric.
 
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