olypen
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2015
- Messages
- 115
HE's a psychiatrist if that matters, the only sub doc here besides a pain management doctor and i do not have any pain. He list addiction as a focus and i actually know someone who goes to him and get subs. She said he's nice and empathetic.
I'm a little scared as to what to expect or how honest i should be. I've been using some sort of opiates off and on for about 11 years and have never admitted it to a doctor for fear of getting the dreaded "seeker" sticker on my chart. I rarely got anything from docs unless it was legitimate anyways, tussionex for a cold or dilaudid after surgery.
I tried moving to the coast a year ago and after developing a nasty dilaudid turned H habit came back here to kick with a few subs and benzos and a job lined up. Well after a month of being here i ran into tons of ultra cheap fent patches and was smoking a couple 100mcg patches a day for months. THey ran out and switched to morphine, IV'ing a couple hundred mg a day to feel normal.. all the while doing as much dilaudid as i could find in 24-32mg shots.. I have a substantial tolerance.
Years ago i was diagnosed as bipolar but i havent taken any meds for that in over a decade and have come to conclude i've probably been trying to manage my mood with drugs and failing miserably.
When i made the appointment i didn't mention addition or subs, just that i'd been off meds for quite a while and think it's time to get back on them. I ran out of morphine and my appointment isnt until wednesday, but i've got some kratom, benzos, soma and PST to make life bearable.
Should i mention i IV? What should i expect? I'm terrified he wont prescribe me any subs and i'll end up losing my job and back on the coast in an even worse situation. I know i cant stop at this point as my mood is just shit without something in my system. I also cant take a month off work for inpatient, i simply dont have the time and would break my lease and lose my house. Any advice or words of encouragement would be appreciated.
I'm a little scared as to what to expect or how honest i should be. I've been using some sort of opiates off and on for about 11 years and have never admitted it to a doctor for fear of getting the dreaded "seeker" sticker on my chart. I rarely got anything from docs unless it was legitimate anyways, tussionex for a cold or dilaudid after surgery.
I tried moving to the coast a year ago and after developing a nasty dilaudid turned H habit came back here to kick with a few subs and benzos and a job lined up. Well after a month of being here i ran into tons of ultra cheap fent patches and was smoking a couple 100mcg patches a day for months. THey ran out and switched to morphine, IV'ing a couple hundred mg a day to feel normal.. all the while doing as much dilaudid as i could find in 24-32mg shots.. I have a substantial tolerance.
Years ago i was diagnosed as bipolar but i havent taken any meds for that in over a decade and have come to conclude i've probably been trying to manage my mood with drugs and failing miserably.
When i made the appointment i didn't mention addition or subs, just that i'd been off meds for quite a while and think it's time to get back on them. I ran out of morphine and my appointment isnt until wednesday, but i've got some kratom, benzos, soma and PST to make life bearable.
Should i mention i IV? What should i expect? I'm terrified he wont prescribe me any subs and i'll end up losing my job and back on the coast in an even worse situation. I know i cant stop at this point as my mood is just shit without something in my system. I also cant take a month off work for inpatient, i simply dont have the time and would break my lease and lose my house. Any advice or words of encouragement would be appreciated.