And wow… It’s been 10yrs. I trip a lot but my relationship with mushrooms had been strained due to my disrespect I showed as a teen. My last trip was 2011, and I got my ass handed to me on .8g Cyanescens. From then on it’s been 4-AcO-DMT as the closest drug.
A month ago my buddy gifted me his most beautiful specimen of APE Cubensis, absolutely gorgeous. I sat on it hesitant but something told me I needed to eat this guy eventually.
Last night I watched the Fantastic Fungi Doc on Netflix (watch it) and felt the time was now.
As I ate it I noticed the entire center was the beautiful indigo blue that had me worried it’d oxidized all to hell or was scary potent. (These are sourced from a highly professional operation that supplies and teaches others in the name of helping the world. If you believe in positive energy imbued in the substance, the shit was oozing with it lol.)
After this it took a good hour and a half which is unusual but when it hit I was fucking gone. My mind went to so many places, many of them dark but it felt so right. My attention mainly drawn to my relationship and the current state of the world.
The documentary and current heatwave fires had set in me this pain in my soul like Mother Nature needed my help in the worst way.
Mushrooms are a harsh teacher but unlike past mush trips I felt I was able to navigate the space and hold my ground in a much better way than when I was younger.
I felt immense love for my family, and sad that I don’t contact them more.
And most of all I felt intense guilt and shame. Shit I’ve been carrying around since a child. This feeling of always disappointing everyone around me. When I was younger I’d often dream of running away simply so I wouldn’t be a burden on anyone anymore.
Now I know either consciously or subconsciously (hard to remember as a child) my parents made me feel I was.
As I got older I watched as many of my friends never reached their potential and to save myself had to isolate to protect my interests and carry on. I had an entirely different life that I shut out best I can, but last night it was on full display.
Growing up in my town I had a huge friend group, I knew so many people that I just up and left. But I can’t just do the same old things in the same old place forever, watching people die and ruin their lives.
Then the recent chemo has me more focused than ever on just trying to get my head right. My family and friends just don’t understand how hard that truly was, and toxic it was for my brain and body, and spiritual sense of self. They’ve seemed bitter about my lack of communication when I feel at times my ability to do so is extremely limited.
Thanks for listening to my rant, I will definitely be hunting me some more mush down very soon I see this is something I need right now.
I find just like a balanced diet, one needs a balanced psychedelic diet too
-GC
A month ago my buddy gifted me his most beautiful specimen of APE Cubensis, absolutely gorgeous. I sat on it hesitant but something told me I needed to eat this guy eventually.
Last night I watched the Fantastic Fungi Doc on Netflix (watch it) and felt the time was now.
As I ate it I noticed the entire center was the beautiful indigo blue that had me worried it’d oxidized all to hell or was scary potent. (These are sourced from a highly professional operation that supplies and teaches others in the name of helping the world. If you believe in positive energy imbued in the substance, the shit was oozing with it lol.)
After this it took a good hour and a half which is unusual but when it hit I was fucking gone. My mind went to so many places, many of them dark but it felt so right. My attention mainly drawn to my relationship and the current state of the world.
The documentary and current heatwave fires had set in me this pain in my soul like Mother Nature needed my help in the worst way.
Mushrooms are a harsh teacher but unlike past mush trips I felt I was able to navigate the space and hold my ground in a much better way than when I was younger.
I felt immense love for my family, and sad that I don’t contact them more.
And most of all I felt intense guilt and shame. Shit I’ve been carrying around since a child. This feeling of always disappointing everyone around me. When I was younger I’d often dream of running away simply so I wouldn’t be a burden on anyone anymore.
Now I know either consciously or subconsciously (hard to remember as a child) my parents made me feel I was.
As I got older I watched as many of my friends never reached their potential and to save myself had to isolate to protect my interests and carry on. I had an entirely different life that I shut out best I can, but last night it was on full display.
Growing up in my town I had a huge friend group, I knew so many people that I just up and left. But I can’t just do the same old things in the same old place forever, watching people die and ruin their lives.
Then the recent chemo has me more focused than ever on just trying to get my head right. My family and friends just don’t understand how hard that truly was, and toxic it was for my brain and body, and spiritual sense of self. They’ve seemed bitter about my lack of communication when I feel at times my ability to do so is extremely limited.
Thanks for listening to my rant, I will definitely be hunting me some more mush down very soon I see this is something I need right now.
I find just like a balanced diet, one needs a balanced psychedelic diet too
-GC
