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Finally after over a decade of drinking daily I'm starting to seriously want to change my ways

MindlessBilly

MindlessBilly

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 21, 2008
Messages
198
Location
Australia
Even bringing my self to write this thread is rather daunting. Alcohol has been my go to crutch since I was 16, I'll be 39 this year.

I also don't want to put too much on my plate at once, I'm currently into day 5 of no weed after a year smoking daily, that's honestly no biggie once the insomnia stops. I'm also on methadone but have had a few slip up recently which does not bother me as occasionally using heroin is far less detrimental than my daily alcohol consumption.

The main concern about aburbtly stopping drinking is withdrawal, I have had a day or two off here and there over the last year, which has not come with much negativity beyond anxiety and alcohol/sugar cravings, insomnia etc.

I really need to do this for so many reasons, I worry my fiance is growing tired of it, I'm not a bad or abusive drunk but. I value my relationship with her more than getting shit faced. The day I met her I stopped 5ish years of daily heroin use with 1 slip up in 6 months. So I know I possess the power within my self it's just alcohol has its claws stuck rather deep in.... Anyways not sure what I hope to gain from this thread, hopefully I can come back over the next few weeks and plot my process.
 
It's awesome that you're taking this step to share your story and your goals. Even posting this thread takes courage, so kudos to you for that! It sounds like you've recognized how alcohol has been holding you back, and that's a huge first step.

I can relate to the feeling of having alcohol's claws dug in deep. It's a tough habit to break, but it's definitely possible. It's also really smart of you to focus on one thing at a time. You've already tackled weed, which is a great accomplishment!
 
I have come to realize that one reason it is hard is because there is always so many reasons/excuses to drink. Social lubricant that helps thirst and gives me activity of raising the beer to my lips repeatedly? And thousand other things? I am sold.
 
I was binging myself for just on a decade, boozing everyday, getting banned from establishments etc etc , when the UK'S first lockdown started for the COVID 19 the pubs, bar nightclubs closed and I very quickly went to drinking very little from off-licences etc and now only drink once every two to four weeks and only between 4-6 cans/pints, but in a way my own knowledge that I needed to stop was the key to it. All I learnt was that tapering the amount first and then reducing the frequency of drinking sessions from every other day to then four days a week and then three days then two days etc,
But the only snag in certain respects was boredom in feeling I had nothing to do all day as it had been my main time consumer. But after a while I could while away the time by reading or watching videos, documentaries on the internet etc and now I have become used to it. It can be a difficult task to undertake,(tapering/reducing frequency) but it is achievable if you desire then end goal of being totally drink free or at least cutdown amounts and frequency to once a month or two,three months. It's not a weakness admiting to yourself that you need to stop or cutdown alot , it's bravery and courage and you have made the first part of recovery. I know not everyone is exactly the same but if found the majority of people like myself realised the positivity of giving up full stop or sticking to rare times of drinking.
I hope I have not sounded blinkered or dumb or come across like I know it all, but I have been, from what you say, down that road.
Admittedly my cocaine use went up with having more money for it than booze , but now I don't binge on the sniff or smoke as much crack, and nowadays I usually do smaller weights of powder or crack and sometimes the frequency but I prefer the cocaine as it doesn't get me into a blind drunken stupor and all the headfuck that can come drinking too much. Hats off to you for being honest with yourself and taking the first steps into recovery give yourself a friendly handshake and pat on the back, you know that you can do it and that's A1 positive. 👏👍
 
MindlessBilly said:
Even bringing my self to write this thread is rather daunting. Alcohol has been my go to crutch since I was 16, I'll be 39 this year.

I also don't want to put too much on my plate at once, I'm currently into day 5 of no weed after a year smoking daily, that's honestly no biggie once the insomnia stops. I'm also on methadone but have had a few slip up recently which does not bother me as occasionally using heroin is far less detrimental than my daily alcohol consumption.

The main concern about aburbtly stopping drinking is withdrawal, I have had a day or two off here and there over the last year, which has not come with much negativity beyond anxiety and alcohol/sugar cravings, insomnia etc.

I really need to do this for so many reasons, I worry my fiance is growing tired of it, I'm not a bad or abusive drunk but. I value my relationship with her more than getting shit faced. The day I met her I stopped 5ish years of daily heroin use with 1 slip up in 6 months. So I know I possess the power within my self it's just alcohol has its claws stuck rather deep in.... Anyways not sure what I hope to gain from this thread, hopefully I can come back over the next few weeks and plot my process.
Click to expand...
I was 39 when diagnosed with Chirosis of the liver. I started abusing alcohol around 18.

Please try to not let this destroy you. If you have a personal doctor see if they will provide you with a week of comfort meds( gabapentin or Lyrica, clonidine and a good benzo: Ativan( lorazepam) would be my first choice. Librium is also given for this reason. I doubt they would write a painkiller script, but if they do, ask for one without acetaminophen, paracetamol or Tylenol or what ever they call where you live.
I went through withdrawals quite regularly and without anything, usually( for me) 5 days of discomfort and many issues.
Also drink lots of sports drinks, or similar and water.
Good luck, don't destroy your liver like I did. It can also cause pancreatitus which is miserable. Even with strong narcotics.
I am worried if you get pancreatitus that you may use heroin for the pain. I really hope that doesn't happen.
Please try to quit, it may destroy you or possibly make your life, lonely, miserable and short.
I am not a 12 stepper or have I been to rehab.
Fortunately I became allergic to alcohol, or this post wouldn't be here.
 
Yeah he posted this 2 days before I went to the hospital due to booze, so I've been wondering about him. Hope he logs back in soon and posts a "currently successful, sober for (blank) days" update
 
Electrum1 said:
Yeah he posted this 2 days before I went to the hospital due to booze, so I've been wondering about him. Hope he logs back in soon and posts a "currently successful, sober for (blank) days" update
Click to expand...
I hope you are in better shape that I was, they on only gave me a year to live in December 2015. Did your tests comeback ok?
 
They were terrible at the hospital because I was super hungover and dehydrated, but a month earlier they were fine, and I go back in less than 3 weeks so I expect everything to be good this time
 
Im currently tripping on acid and thinking as to how I've made fuck all progress on my quest to stop daily drinking.

Life sure has changed a lot since I initially made this post I've gotten my self out of one major toxic relationship but probably drinking more so now than previously
 
Im so fucken lost in how to connect with people over the internet anymore and in general. Coming out of this toxic relationship has fucked my mind so much. I sit around wishing I had any sort of connection yet spend hours stuck in my own head
 
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