cydonorb
Bluelighter
This is pretty much like shooting fish in a barrel, but lately there have been SO many God awful sequels that I thought we all might need a place to vent. One thing: please lets exclude all the HALLOWEEN, FRIDAY THE 13th, ERNEST & POILICE LOBATOMY flicks. Here's my list:
5 ) BAD NEW BEARS IN BREAKING TRAINING - 1977
4 ) THE STING II - 1983
3 ) SLAPSHOT 2 - 2001
2 ) EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC - 1977
...and the WORST sequel to a good of all time goes to...
1 ) THE MATRIX: RELOADED - 2003
My rationale: The first BAD NEW BEARS was not only a great kids film, its was a great sports film & a bitiing & dark black satire of middle class middle America mores. This was a movie where 12 year olds drank & smoked ferchrissakes & they were the heroes!! How did they follow it up? With a lamebrained & sugary sweet road movie that pays homage to The Gipper. Blech!!
THE STING 2 starred Mac Davis. Nuff said.
The 1977 film SLAPSHOT was another great sports movie that doubled as a metaphor for the decay in American culture, the corporate destruction of everyday life & the hypocacy of American male machismo. It still holds the title as the major American release with the most profanities. How did they follow it up? With a direct to video cheapie starring a Baldwin brother.
EXORCIST 2 is perhaps the most hilarious film ever made next to SHOWGIRLS.
I can honestly say that MATRIX RELOADED exceeded my expectations, as I never in my wildest dreams thought it possible that a worse sequel than either EXORCIST 2: THE HERETIC or THE STING 2 was possible. Yet here it is in all its in all its derrivative glory. If you were as big a fan of the original MATRIX as I was (notice the past tense), do yourself a favor & avoid the tacky, overlong, shoddy, dull, somnabulent acted & nearly humorless sequel. The plot seems like it was stolen from a lame direct to SciFi Channel cheapie, the stunts have ALL been seen before in many low budget Hong Kong actioners & nothing really makes any sense. Characters who have certain powers seem to lose or intensify them as the plot demands. Various strains of Eastern & Western philosophy are mangled, garbled, misinterperated & spat out like bon mots at a particularly drunken Algonquin Roundtable discussion. There are only 3 scenes in MATRIX RELOADED & they are repeated ad nuseaum for nearly 3 hours. Scene 1: wooden actors pontificate a cornucopia of psychobabble & pseudo philosophy. Scene 2: Citizens of an underground city either toil, dance, f*ck or panic en masse to the beat of 1993 inspired techno music while dressed as 1980s heavy metal hair band members. Scene 3: lameass fights that wouldn't cut the mustard in a Golden Harvest 1980s cheapie. The only bright spot in this depressing mess is Hugo Weaving as Agent Smith who ratchets up the deadpan humor & steals every scene he's in (then again when you're up against Keanu Reeves thats like stealing from a retarded baby). In a few years I may be able to look at the orignal MATRIX again & enjoy it, but right now the bitter taste of this endless cinematic turd will make me avoid anything connected with it, including the threatened 3rd chapter. The Wachowski Brothers took an orignal concept & cannibalized & lobotomized it rather than building on it. There have been countelss MATRIX clones since 1999 (THE ONE, EQUILIBRIUM) & this new chapter in the series doesn't even rise to the cheapest of them. Imagine the lamest & corniest STAR TREK story line from any of the series or films & now dumb it down--WAY down. That will only begin to give you an idea of just how depressingly awful this film is.
5 ) BAD NEW BEARS IN BREAKING TRAINING - 1977
4 ) THE STING II - 1983
3 ) SLAPSHOT 2 - 2001
2 ) EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC - 1977
...and the WORST sequel to a good of all time goes to...
1 ) THE MATRIX: RELOADED - 2003
My rationale: The first BAD NEW BEARS was not only a great kids film, its was a great sports film & a bitiing & dark black satire of middle class middle America mores. This was a movie where 12 year olds drank & smoked ferchrissakes & they were the heroes!! How did they follow it up? With a lamebrained & sugary sweet road movie that pays homage to The Gipper. Blech!!
THE STING 2 starred Mac Davis. Nuff said.
The 1977 film SLAPSHOT was another great sports movie that doubled as a metaphor for the decay in American culture, the corporate destruction of everyday life & the hypocacy of American male machismo. It still holds the title as the major American release with the most profanities. How did they follow it up? With a direct to video cheapie starring a Baldwin brother.
EXORCIST 2 is perhaps the most hilarious film ever made next to SHOWGIRLS.
I can honestly say that MATRIX RELOADED exceeded my expectations, as I never in my wildest dreams thought it possible that a worse sequel than either EXORCIST 2: THE HERETIC or THE STING 2 was possible. Yet here it is in all its in all its derrivative glory. If you were as big a fan of the original MATRIX as I was (notice the past tense), do yourself a favor & avoid the tacky, overlong, shoddy, dull, somnabulent acted & nearly humorless sequel. The plot seems like it was stolen from a lame direct to SciFi Channel cheapie, the stunts have ALL been seen before in many low budget Hong Kong actioners & nothing really makes any sense. Characters who have certain powers seem to lose or intensify them as the plot demands. Various strains of Eastern & Western philosophy are mangled, garbled, misinterperated & spat out like bon mots at a particularly drunken Algonquin Roundtable discussion. There are only 3 scenes in MATRIX RELOADED & they are repeated ad nuseaum for nearly 3 hours. Scene 1: wooden actors pontificate a cornucopia of psychobabble & pseudo philosophy. Scene 2: Citizens of an underground city either toil, dance, f*ck or panic en masse to the beat of 1993 inspired techno music while dressed as 1980s heavy metal hair band members. Scene 3: lameass fights that wouldn't cut the mustard in a Golden Harvest 1980s cheapie. The only bright spot in this depressing mess is Hugo Weaving as Agent Smith who ratchets up the deadpan humor & steals every scene he's in (then again when you're up against Keanu Reeves thats like stealing from a retarded baby). In a few years I may be able to look at the orignal MATRIX again & enjoy it, but right now the bitter taste of this endless cinematic turd will make me avoid anything connected with it, including the threatened 3rd chapter. The Wachowski Brothers took an orignal concept & cannibalized & lobotomized it rather than building on it. There have been countelss MATRIX clones since 1999 (THE ONE, EQUILIBRIUM) & this new chapter in the series doesn't even rise to the cheapest of them. Imagine the lamest & corniest STAR TREK story line from any of the series or films & now dumb it down--WAY down. That will only begin to give you an idea of just how depressingly awful this film is.
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