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FILM: Mini-reviews of a bunch of random movies

Catch-22

Catch-22

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 16, 2001
Messages
4,518
Edit: This is just a random collection of movie reviews from December 2001 to October 2002. I was reviewing stuff I had seen in the theaters. I sound like a wanker and my ratings system stinks, but oh well....




I have been watching a lot of movies lately, so now I want to get up on my soapbox and broadcast my opinions. :D These are some movies currently playing in my area. Feel free to add any other movies that are in the theaters right now.
Spy Game I really liked this one. The entire story takes place over a 24 hours period (with flashbacks) and it has tight, intricate action sequences. I thought it was a clever movie. I would give it 8/10. Catch it in the theaters if you can!
Heist This movie was okay but just is no match for Spy Game. There are a couple neat sections (that were emphasized in the previews) where the gang is pulling their heists. But it seemed like a cheap version of "Heat." I give it a 4/10 and say rent it if you like these types of movies.
Domestic Disturbance Damn, this movie sucked! A complete waste of time. The Scientologists must be brainwashing Travolta to make these movies. Without Travolta's name, a movie like this wouldn't even be shown on cable. No story, no suspense...did Buscemi need the money or something? I give it a 1/10.
Ocean's Eleven This movie is the best of the bunch for me. It won't pose any big questions or leave you pondering anything, but it sure is a lot of fun. A perfect date movie because the girls will like all the leading men and the guys will like the humor and the action sequences. A couple parts were a touch shaky, but I give it a 9.5/10.
Vanilla Sky A lot of people have been panning this movie, but I thought it was pretty good. The ending is sappy and it could've been made shorter, but I think the packaging was slick and the underlying ideas were interesting. I know it is based on "Open Your Eyes" and I hope to watch that one soon. I give it a 7/10. It left me thinking as I left the theater, and if you want that type of movie, I'd say give it a chance.
Opinions?
 
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The Man Who Wasn't There This movie has some nice qualities, but the pacing was just too slow and plodding to be called enjoyable. We get to watch Billy Bob smoke at least one cigarette for each line of dialogue, if you get my drift. The highlight for me was Scarlett Johansson (I actually looked her name up!). She plays the teenage girl who breaks her collar bone trying to give Billy Bob a blowjob. I'd say 5/10 and try to rent it when you are in the mood for something slow.
 
I'm too damn poor to afford to see new movies. Damn. I need to get my old job at the movie theater back.
I rented The Heist on DVD. It was an enjoyable movie, but it was a total WASTE of talent. I mean, Edward Norton, Bobby DiNiro and Marlon Brando? If I had a cast like that at my disposal I would be a LOCK for a best director Oscar.
Anyways, VERY HIGH ON MY "TO SEE" LIST:
The Royal Tenenbaums - Wes Anderson + Owen Wilson + Luke Wilson = one of the best film making teams ever. I drove for 90 minutes to see their last flick, Rushmore, when it opened. Bottle Rocket is still one of my favorite movies.
The Man Who Wasn't There - The Coen Bros. are brilliant. I skipped school to go see The Big Lebowski when it opened.
I'm too tired to think of any others, but please feel free to make suggestions.
Adios,
Steve
[ 03 January 2002: Message edited by: Lingo ]
 
I know everyone was holding their breath, waiting for more of my reviews, so I will keep you in suspense for no longer. ;)
Not Another Teen Movie I found this slightly amusing, but I saw this sober so keep that in mind. 90% of the jokes are tied into the "teen movie" genre. Here is an example, playing off of Cruel Intentions:
Sister: "Why is it that when I tell them they can put it anywhere, guys always end up fucking me in the ass?"
Brother: "That's waaaaay too much information!"
Sister: "No, it would be too much information if I told you that after the guy is finished, I usually take a dump on his stomach."
Token Black Guy: "Aw, that is whack!!!"
I gave it a 7/10 if you like movies of this sort. I would like to have my money back, though.
Novocaine Steve Martin plays a dentist whose life spins out of control. It is not really a comedy but not really a mystery. All things being equal, try renting Spanish Prisoner instead. Even playing an ice princess, I found Laura Dern hotter than the slutty Helena Bonham Carter character. I give it a 5/10 and rent it someday if you like comedic plot twists.
 
^^
I was named after Steve Martin (Martin is my middle name). I don't know if that's a good thing... I'm born and my dad thinks to himself "wild and crazy guy". That'd be like me naming my son Jim Carrey.
Oh well, least I'm not named after Carrot Top or some other hack comic.
Adios,
Steve
 
Okay, here are two more additions:
Orange County This has to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen. The only thing I can think of that is worse would be a movie called "Telephone" that starred Whoopi Goldberg. I did not laugh a single time. If I had been alone, I would've left after 15 minutes and saved a precious hour of my life. I don't know what I expected, but this was just beyond lame! 0/10
Gosford Park Great! The story and setting drew me in, and this is a movie that I will rent and dub a copy for future viewing pleasure. There is a lot of stuff going on and you gotta pay attention, but I just liked all the crazy characters and sub-plots. If you want something a little more sophisticated, definitely give this one a shot. 8/10
 
its too bad that no one has seen the original ocean's 11 or even knows that the new one is just another attempt by hollywood to fuck you in the arse with box office trash. vanilla sky as well was another dick in the arse by the movie industry as the original Abre los Ojos was a lot better. if anyone in this post were a movie snob they would't fall for such crap.
 
I need to see Vanilla sky still, and I'm really looking forward to Novacaine. As for The man who wasnt there, is that out yet? I love the Coen brothers (Lebowski is def. one of my fave. movies)
 
I definitely have conflicting opinions, but such is life.
Vanilla Sky was a movie that constantly had me on my toes. Though there were many times I definitely had to stop and rethink what the hell happned, it certainly held my attention throughout. The ending was a little far fetched. However, if you cannot incorporate "suspension of disbelief" into your movie-going night, you shouldn't be there.
Orange County I found to be a great movie. I'm surprised you "did not laugh a single time," Catch-22. The entire theater was hysterical and at times you couldn't even hear the next line because of lingering laughter thereafter (fun to say out loud). Hey, it was an MTV movie so I didn't have huge expectations. Then again, I don't pay for movies. :P
~Erik
 
just saw the man who wasn't there two nights ago and loved it... for anyone who really liked it, u gotta read The Outsider by Albert Camus, a french author. it's an existentialist novel, but it's a pretty easy read and only takes a few hours. the coen brothers seem to have based a lot of their film on it.
and definite thumbs up for amélie, i think audrey tatou has to be the most gorgeous girl in cinema at the moment :)
 
You gave not another teen movie a 7/10!!! God that movie SUCKED imo, the 13 year-old i took to see it loved it though. I thought that orange county was marginaly better.
I saw In the bedroom the other day.I enjoed it, It was low-key, some might even so far as to say slow or boring. It stars Sissy Spacik (whom i love), i saw an interview with her where she decribed it as a film form adults (no not porn) I would have to agree with that.
7/10
 
A Beautiful Mind I found this movie fascinating and thought provoking. I might be biased into liking this movie more than the average person because (1) I was interested in math and code-breaking as a youngster, (2) I am familiar with John Nash's true life story, (3) I have known people like Nash and his colleagues and (4) I am familiar with the environment of academia. Regardless, I still think this is a great movie and the appeal is broad enough that most people will like it. I give it a 10/10! :D
 
Yes, I have seen the brat pack version of O11 and I think the remake is superior. I can't rent movies right now, but Open Your Eyes is near the top of my list. (There is only one decent store in town and I would have >$100 in late fees waiting for me if I walked in there! :\ ) I haven't heard anything about Brotherhood of the Wolf.
The Man Who Wasn't There left the independent theater in my town about two weeks ago. It played for about three weeks, and when I went to see it, I was the only one in the entire room! :\ And the movie reminded of Camus, too!
Please feel free to disagree or talk about other new movies. I am not offended at all and want to hear about other movies. I am just passing along whatever I would tell a friend.
BBB: I am sorry I snapped at you, but you didn't talk about movies and just complained about me using the wrong forum. You couldn't have known, but I made two requests for this thing to be transferred. With all these damn forums, I honestly lost track of what goes where so it is for the moderators (not us posters) to keep things organized. I want to just keep using this same thread because most of these movies are still in theaters and I don't want to make a new thread for each movie I see. Plus it keeps everything together when other people start adding new movies or judging movies differently. So no hard feelings on my part, BBB.
___
*kell* and I usually share a brain, but did she notice how I wanted my money back yet gave it a 7/10? LOL Oh, and here is some nerdy trivia. The male lead in Orange County is the son of Tom Hanks. Guess who plays his girlfriend? None other than the daughter of Sissy Spacek. I read that in Rolling Stone. ;)
 
I have seen the original rat-pack Ocean's 11. Sure, the remake may be better but SINATRA = GOD ALMIGHTY! Half the fun of the original movie was the knowledge that they shot the film for a few hours a day, then went out at night and tore the city up. Those guys OWNED Vegas in a way that has never been duplicated.
Adios,
Steve
 
Sorry, Lingo and the others, but here goes:
The Royal Tenenbaums I guess this is yet another example of "subtle" comedy. I just find these Wilson guys annoying and boring. Gene Hackman was pretty funny, though. And Paltrow actually cracked me up a couple times. I don't usually find Ben Stiller funny, either. His best humor was in Permanent Midnight when he threw in a few lines here and there. Anyway, I yawned about eight times so I have to give it a 6/10.
I didn't totally shit-pan it, but I really thought this was pretty mediocre. I also might be biased because I had just come from judging a comedy contest where people actually had to say something humorous to get an honest laugh. ;)
 
The Royal Tenenbaums I guess this is yet another example of "subtle" comedy.
In what way was that movie subtle? It was an extreme satire on dysfunction and love. The entire movie screamed "Hey! I'm not subtle over here!". From the bizzarre costumes to the zany charicatures of modern society. Take Gene Hackmans's character, Royal. He was a combination of Homer Simpson, Archie Bunker and Mr. Howell from Giligan's Island. He was a wacky, cantakerous old fart that pissed everyone off, and just when it looks like he's learned his lesson and couldn't be any more of a jackass: *BAM* he throws another zinger at you. At first you wanna smack him upside the head. Then as you become firmiliar with the characters, you actualy start to LIKE and UNDERSTAND the miserable bugger and his motives... and so do his children. But that's just my interpretation. I've been known to be wrong in my film interpretations on occasion.
btw - Catch-22 - Sorry if I sound pissed or angry in my above rant. I'm just glad to be in a movie discussion for once. Please, feel free to add your own rebutle... in fact, I EXPECT you to.
Adios,
Steve
[ 18 January 2002: Message edited by: Lingo ]
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