feeling depressed after rehab

[Dr.kush]

i just got out of rehab almost a week now, and i feel more depressed than when i was there. i had my ups and downs while i was there, but now i just feel sad, im self loathing about everything. i know acceptance helps, but i keep wanting things i dont have (non material things). i just need some advice or some words of encouragement if you think i even deserve any.

o yeah i cant go out and do shit cause my mom has me on lockdown she wasnt that cool with the whole shooting dope thing at 16.

 

[Mr_Fluffykins]

download stepmania, and a 10gig song pack, and play till your brain rots, get addicted to it, youll just keep getting ebtter and better

 

[Jekyll and Hyde]

Honestly, it isn't uncommon for someone leaving rehab/mental ward to get some anxiety and depression. This, in part, is due to you leaving a comfort zone of sort where people understand you and help you along the way. But, when you're out in the real world you can feel like nobody understands you and you don't have the safety net that either the rehab or mental ward has to offer. I've left mental wards feeling like my depression was kicked until I walked out of those locked doors and into society. It was like my black cloud of depression was waiting for me at the door. The best thing, I think, is to just accept how real life is and move on. I know its easier said than done, but the faster you can accept certain things in your life, the better you'll feel.

 

[TJ5]

Have you tried asking your mom to take
you to an NA meeting? Just a suggestion
since you're on lockdown anyway. Good
way to meet others 4 support.

 

[EoTorv]

You can tell your Mom you are feeling depressed and a little stir crazy and ask her if she has any ideas about some out of the house activities that she would find acceptable. If there is any follow up appointments from rehab you might get their take on this situation and even see if they could assign you some follow up activities as a part of your recovery.

Best of luck on this. This situation will pass eventually but I understand this point is probably going painfully slow.Is school coming up for you in the next month or so? That will probably be some relief.

 

[panic in paradise]

i agree leaving what became an accepted comfort zone, having evening layed out, then you are let loose, full of thoughts of what's expected. its a culture shock, and half way houses are good for situations like yours; on lock down, not being able to grow and expand the. sitting around this way is no good, you have too much idle time to use what you have learned.

did you have some one you could talk to easily about what you were thinking? start writing this stuff down when it becomes to much; you may notice a pattern.sometimes jumping into a job right away is bad, if you excell at work with out drugs, which you will, is an awesome feeling, but the pressure can be a great excuse, and, its way too easy to find stuff at work.

do you have a therapist? i still see one, but want another, she isn't very insightful music software is a good thing... im looking to get my hands on a version of logic audio.

you will of course earth your moms trust back, you recognize why, imaging if i had a child doing that is pretty scary,.i started when i was 14-15 with coke, & it took ten years to get over finally.

the longer it gets, the further you evolve away from that life, the easier everything becomes. easy and good compared to any inconvenient day with an iv drug habit, dope really is more complicated then its worth.

it sounds silly, but one day youll know, it will hit you among many other things that, i dont have to hide, run, chase, fear being out, and fear going to prison just driving to the store with a burnt tail
light...

remember well why you were in that facility, what you learned, the train of thought instilled, and your inner strength and charector/charisma that helped you through honestly.

 

[panic in paradise]

i agree leaving what became an accepted comfort zone, having evening layed out, then you are let loose, full of thoughts of what's expected. its a culture shock, and half way houses are good for situations like yours; on lock down, not being able to grow and expand. sitting around this way is no good, you have too much idle time to use what you have learned.

did you have some one you could talk to easily about what you were thinking in there? start writing this stuff down when it becomes to much; you may notice a pattern.

sometimes jumping into a job right away is bad, if you excell at work with out drugs, which you will, is an awesome feeling, but the pressure can be a great excuse, and, its way too easy to find stuff at work.

do you have a therapist? i still see one, but want another, she isn't very insightful music software is a good thing... im looking to get my hands on a version of logic audio.

you will of course earn your moms trust back, you recognize why, imaging if i had a child doing that was shooting dope is pretty scary,.i started when i was 14-15 with coke, & it took ten years to get over finally.

the longer it gets, the further you evolve away from that life, the easier everything becomes. easy and good compared to any inconvenient day with an iv drug habit, dope really is more complicated then its worth...

it sounds silly, but one day youll know, it will hit you among many other things that, i dont have to hide, run, chase, fear being out, and fear going to prison just driving to the store with a burnt tail
light...

remember well why you were in that facility, what you learned, the train of thought instilled, and your inner strength and charector/charisma that helped you through honestly.

 

[RedRum OG]

isolation=bad

go to meetings... or at least church or something she'll approve of. ive been in this situation and the only cure is distracting yourself from yourself through interaction with other people. otherwise your mind is gonna go crazy and that leads to relapse

 

[edgewise1]

You definately need some follow-up therapy. Without it you are more likely to relapse, and you do not want that.
The things already said are excellent ideas. Find the NA meetings in your area, or look for some other addiction meeting to attend. I went thru a bible based program called Reformers Unanimous, and it was a great help.
There has to something that you can attend that will further strengthen your resolve to get off the drugs and stay off the drugs. Just search until you find it!

 

[Bojangles69]

music software is a good thing... im looking to get my hands on a version of logic audio.

Logic is the most capable program you can probably get, but in terms of learning curves it would be one of the last programs you'd want to pick.

So if you DO decide to splurge for a sequencer, consider how much experience you already have with music.

If you've NEVER worked with a sequencer before, Logic can be very intimidating to wrap your head around.

In terms of ease, Fl Studio or Ableton would be fairly easy to learn. I'd be bias for Fl Studio personally.

I started out with Reason for 2 years. It took me 1 week alone to learn how to make sound come out of the speakers. About another month just to export sounds. In 6 months I was barely making any progress (all though at the time I thought it was the natural progression of it all).

After 2 years I had learned A LOT, but I wound up switching to Fl Studio and have been using it for 5 years now. I have the program almost mastered at this point.

The thing with music is a producers head can be loaded with ideas but the hard part is the translation to real life. Your ideas may not translate well on Logic for a looong time, so you may want to reconsider going with something that has a more friendly interface.

Logic is great no doubt, but as a first program I would never recommend it to anyone. Better to get experience on lesser programs, then make the switch you have a foundation built. Otherwise you can get stuck real fast on Logic and want to give up all together.

Good luck!

 

[Bojangles69]

i just got out of rehab almost a week now, and i feel more depressed than when i was there. i had my ups and downs while i was there, but now i just feel sad, im self loathing about everything. i know acceptance helps, but i keep wanting things i dont have (non material things). i just need some advice or some words of encouragement if you think i even deserve any.

o yeah i cant go out and do shit cause my mom has me on lockdown she wasnt that cool with the whole shooting dope thing at 16.

You sound like you're depressed just because you want things that you currently don't have.
So rather than sit on your butt waiting and wishing, would it be possible to start working on the things you actually want?

 

[Kaelfi]

First off, yes you do deserve words of encouragement. You deserve much more than that. Taking the step to change is enormous!

Second, rehab can mess with people's heads in that it is a non-reality setting. You don't have to feed yourself, clean or deal with the usual day to day pressures of life. When you get out,all of a sudden youhave life, barking at your heals. You don't have that warm fuzzy sense of belonging and freindship/comraderie that comes with living in a place where there are people around you 24/7 all with pretty much the same goals and problems as you. Gets pretty lonesome. I used to hate going to meetings as after the meeting I was alone, with myself. Not a good place at the best of times.

There is some good advice here. The fact that you are reaching out for help and that advice is very positive. It is going to take a lot of work to get well. Don't worry about that now, concentrate aon what you can change today, no matter how small and insignificant it may seem as it all adds up, trust me. After some time you can look back and see that you have changed and this will spur you on and carry you forth.

Try talking to your mom. As a parent I can tell you that sometimes all we want is some comunication, to know. We worry, incessantly. Let her know that you love her (if you do that is). You stated that she "wasn't that cool with the whole shooting dope thing at 16". That is probably a HUGE understatement! She was/is most likely worried sick! What she most likely needs now is some reasurance, let her know how you are, involve her in your "getting better", she will appreciate it, feel like she is parenting rather than a helpless spectator in her child's train wreck that has become their life. Talk to her, be patient, she probably has a lot of anger and frustration that she will direct at you, but believe me when I tell you that she is hurting and blaming herself. Let her know that she did the best she could ( hopefully this is the case, if not, lie, throw her a bone ! )

I wish you the best. The most important thing is to hang on. Don't use the hard time you are having as an excuse to get loaded anymore, you are young and have a great opportunity as there is less scars than if you attempted to get better 10 or 20 years hence.

I wish you the best and all the love in the world for a fellow sufferer!
David

 

[Dr.kush]

Thanks for all the responses, I do go to NA meetings, but I never get anything out of them. I might get a sponsor tommrow and I'll b able to talk to him

the things I want are just feelings. Feelings of love to someone and feeling to belong. And I just feel depressed bout nothing.