Misc Feel depression is back with avengeance now Im on a kratom break. Alternatives?

[deruyityn]

Kratom turned out not really good for depression for me, at least not alone, because tolerance went up really fast such that at the worst it was only feeling like valerian root in terms of strength. So frustrating. Taking more would just make me feel fuzzy not the warm fuzzy good way, just bad fuzzy. Im thinking if I had another transmitter I can swap it out with then I could get on a roll.

I wasnt even taking every day, one day on two days off, but it was getting shitter and shitter each time.

So Im taking a month off.

I knew kratom was not all that good for an anti depressant due to its diminishing effect but at least when it was working it worked real good when the effects were still in full. But now I stopped I dont even have that sancturary I had and my mind has been plunging back into the doldroms.

Now it feels like the walls are closing in agian.

I dont wanna hear the crap about change your lifestyle. I have tried all that. I was doing that when I would feel ok with myself but my pessimisim is so bad that I just feels everything is hopeless and spend most of my time just stewing in my mental quagmire turning over and over on how much i hate life.

Im also so pessimitic im scared to try other drugs. I just go over and over what bad could happen to me. Then again i was the same with kratom at first and that ended up helping me alot at least giving my mind a break so I would be fresh to do stuff for a couple days after.

I figured my options are-

-mulungu -shitscared of it being in the poison family
-tianeptine- sounds like it could really help but scared of talk of it being as bad as heroin withdrawals.

Ive got some kava and been experimenting with it but I dont really find it that good. It has a limited effect and Im still paranoid about the liver stuff with regular use. If it had a great effect Id be interested in commiting to getting liver tests etc but its so weak that i dont see the point.

If I could just find another drug to swap between kratom when i need tolerance breaks I feel I could get some traction on my depression. I was quite productive when the kratom was working or after id had a good day on it and my perspective was better for the following days. Withth kratom alone due to its diminishing effect I just fall backwards and lose ground before making changes that stick.

What do you think would be my best bet? Im not going to doctor for antidepressants. I dont want to be on something 24/7. Just something that can reliably blast me out of the pits so i can stay on track. Tianeptine sounds to be jsut the ticket for that but as I said my fear has overridden me giving it a proper try.

 

[Mad benzo head]

Go to your doc and ask for Paxil.

its not like an SSri that builds. You can pretty much take it and get some relief instantly and then take as and when.

they may not tell you that , but it's the reality.

 

[chase_in_56ace]

Gabapentin does wonders for my depression. It's easy to get and a much safer bet than RCs or anti depressants.

 

[d1ahp]

Gabapentin does wonders for my depression. It's easy to get and a much safer bet than RCs or anti depressants.

Gabapentin withdrawals are hell for some. Months of hallucinations, irrational fears and physical ailments.

OP, have researched Nootropics? Lots of people use them with good results.

Are you looking for something to give you buzz and help you with depression or are you looking for something to just help you with depression? Because the latter is generally safer and more effective

 

[deruyityn]

Yes just to help pull me out of the pits of depression but my main problem is lack of social oomph or moreso mysanthropy/extreme pessimism about the human race.

Im not worried about not being able to take something every day as even with an anti depressant I wouldnt wanna take it every day- the main reaosn ive avoided ssris hate the thouht of being sucked into something 24/7. I prefer one day off a couple days washout one on etc.

I like the idea of taking something maybe with a strongish effect getting a load of productive activity done to make some gains then going back to sobriety and solidifying the gains I made while under the influence.

I havent tried any of the nootropics yet since they look really expensive and sound about as weak as 5-htp. Unless you know different? Just didnt look promising due to price and seeming weak effect for my purposes.

Gabapentin withdrawals are hell for some. Months of hallucinations, irrational fears and physical ailments.

OP, have researched Nootropics? Lots of people use them with good results.

Are you looking for something to give you buzz and help you with depression or are you looking for something to just help you with depression? Because the latter is generally safer and more effective