TDS Family memeber has been prescribed 20mg Adderall XR: Has started acting odd lately

[Mobilgas_Special]

New Member and I hope I am in the right sub for this so here it goes. Long story

For several years a family member has been prescribed 20mg of adderall xr. They had pretty bad adhd in high-school and once on the medicine it helped them become a more focused student. But lately things have really changed for him, he used to be a honest outgoing person and now is a lot more quite, yet angry/frustrated.
When he first started taking the pills he couldn't go a day without them, now being his roommate I noticed some peculiar things.
1. Once a week his bottle will be full, next week the the bottle is only a 1/4 full. Way to many to go through in just a few days.
2. He will always have another 2-3 completely full bottles in the back of his car...
3. A dozen of empty capsules are always next to his computer. (If he's snorting them why not toss the capsule?)
4. Not sure if relevant but he met a girl online(his first girlfriend ever) and ended up marrying her within 6 months. He now spends most of the week at her place. He doesn't have a job but was able to buy an engagement ring. Normally I wouldn't question a friend or relative spending time at a girls house. However he goes out of his way for friends or family to not see her. In addition to his peculiar actions starting around the same time he was seeing her.
5. Once he married he cut off all relations with his close friends.
6. His Pathological lying. This is what has really bothered me. He said he was going to college and asking the parents for money, turns out he had dropped out over a year ago. He says he will show up on this time, shows up two days later looking pale and strung out.
7. Has welts up and down both his arms.

/Vent. Thanks for reading this strange post for those who do. I don't have really anyone to talk to about this and my parents are pretty fucking oblivious to these sort of things. So am I being overly paranoid or you think he might be dealing?

 

[herbavore]

You are not being overly paranoid at all and I think talking to your parents would be a good thing. Neither you nor your parents can do much of anything to stop your relative's trajectory--only he can do that--but being informed will help all of you to A) not contribute or enable his behavior and B) support each other. Your parents need to know that he is actually stealing their money that was meant for college. Try to get some good information about addiction that they can read so that they do not react in anger. Setting clear and consistent boundaries without anger is a very hard thing to do (I've been there) but it is really all that is in your control.

Have you ever tried speaking to him openly about his abuse? If he is lying to everyone around him and isolating himself he is probably not going to be immediately receptive but I still think it would be a good idea, especially if you were close in the past and have that relationship to support the conversation. I have a particular hatred for ADHD drugs that hook young kids in before they have even developed mentally and then leave them to deal with dependence on their own later in life. I have ADD myself and went through it with my son. It's a real struggle but one that is totally manageable without throwing amphetamines at 11 year old kids and their naive parents. Sorry about the rant.

The bottom line is that your relative has to recognize that his dependence has become a problem and from there he must want to change. This is completely outside of your control. What is in your control is to refrain from seeing this as a moral failure on his part. Addiction occurs in one brain and not another and science is still exposing more and more factors in that mystery every day. There is a lot of shame in drug addiction and that is one of the strongest forces that pushes people farther and farther from themselves. Encourage your relative and let him know that you care. It's a tricky road to walk but the difference between enabling and non-judgmental support is crucial.

best of luck. Your relative is lucky to have someone like you.