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Family betrays you. Forgive them cause they're blood fam or fuck'em cause they know better?

really depends on circumstance and perspective. for example, my mum put me out on the street when i using heavy and making poor decisions. i thought it was betrayal but it was just her way of dealing with my addiction after years of trauma. i forgive and forget, life is short - again, depending on circumstances. if it’s something pretty rough, i could throw some family away i feel.
 
@axe battler

It's so ridiculous I don't even know how to properly describe the situation.

My sister is a travel nurse who is gone for upto a month at a time every few weeks. She has a 10yr old daughter and a man child boyfriend(father of child), who had been disowned by family till a couple of years ago because he is just generally an abusive, Gangstar, who has never worked a day in his life. He came back into the picture when he got out of prison for armed robbery after he was arrested 2 days before my sister gave birth. I would also like to mention that he is in his 40's and his only job has been rapper and stick up man who robs drug dealers not only that but my niece describes the most abhorrent acts of violence against my sister and he has threatened to kill my sister, his daughter and all of us(her family) when she was going to leave him.

Ok.... While my sister is gone he pawns my niece off on me to watch while disappearing for upto a week at a time without even picking up the phone. One such time I take my neice to get her Mcdonalds when my sister calls me in a huff asking where I'm at and why I'm not at home cause dickface is in driveway. Apparently he's pissed off cause I'm not there and he has to wait. I tell my sister I don't give a shit cause I'm not gonna entertain his rage problem.

I get home and from across the yard he starts dressing me down like a child. Now I'm not intimidated by many people but this guy is a fucking lunatic thug that towers over a 6'1 180lbs Somni at 6'7 260lbs and has the deepest, gravel soaked growl of a voice I've ever heard. He's saying "I don't appreciate you taking my fucking daughter off without informing me." I respond with "I'll take your daughter wherever I want" as I'm walking inside. All of a sudden I feel like a 2x4 hit the back of my head. I turned around stunned and yelled out "did you just fucking hit me?"

It then turned into a yelling fight with me telling him to get the fuck out of my yard. He takes his daughter and leaves. I'm ready for him to be gone. I know he's already out on bond for waiving a gun around on somebody's cell Camara to intimidate them so I call the police. They are salivating for my to press charges but my sister starts saying she'll disown me so I drop.

A week later is Thanksgiving at my parents and they tell me she's coming over with dude. I'm like WTF! They come over I stay in room. She comes in and asks why I won't come out with family. Incredulous she's even asking I start to tell her how I feel. She then informs me that we both owe each other an apology because I deserved to get punched for what I said. I blow up at her and tell her to fuck off.

Ever since then she comes over all smug and arrogant and we have been feuding.

And great news. Dickface got convicted for possession of gun by multiple times felon and intimidation but didn't spend one day in jail but Florida is supposedly a hell hole for people of his skin tone.

Oh.... He threatened older sister after the first time she was introduced to him and he just lay on the bed high as fuck flipping through the T.V and only said "sup?". My older sister called my younger sister and told her she deserved better. Younger sister must have told him cause older got a call from her cell and dude told my mixed PR sister " talking shit is how white girls end up dead." When my older sister told my younger sister my younger sister said " oh he was just wrestling around(playing) with his cousin and butt dialed you."

I guess it's kind of a disagreement but older sister and I see it as betrayal for endangering family and choose a guy over us. I would never, never let one of my girlfriends lay hands on my sister.

Just so you don't think my sister is afraid. I can guarantee that's not the case. My sister's a thug 2 who dealt crack in worst Orlando ghetto, got into shootout with a bunch of other dudes and she's the one who starts most of the fights and is throwing fist first.
 
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somnilicious said:
@axe battler

It's so ridiculous I don't even know how to properly describe the situation.

My sister is a travel nurse who is gone for upto a month at a time every few weeks. She has a 10yr old daughter and a man child boyfriend(father of child), who had been disowned by family till a couple of years ago because he is just generally an abusive, Gangstar, who has never worked a day in his life. He came back into the picture when he got out of prison for armed robbery after he was arrested 2 days before my sister gave birth. I would also like to mention that he is in his 40's and his only job has been rapper and stick up man who robs drug dealers not only that but my niece describes the most abhorrent acts of violence against my sister and he has threatened to kill my sister, his daughter and all of us(her family) when she was going to leave him.

Ok.... While my sister is gone he pawns my niece off on me to watch while disappearing for upto a week at a time without even picking up the phone. One such time I take my neice to get her Mcdonalds when my sister calls me in a puff asking where I'm at and why I'm not at home cause dickface is in driveway. Apparently he's pissed off cause I'm not there and he has to wait. I tell my sister I don't give a shit cause I'm not gonna entertain his rage problem.

I get home and from across the yard he starts dressing me down like a child. Now I'm not intimidated by many people but this guy is a fucking lunatic thug that towers over a 6'1 180lbs Somni at 6'7 260lbs and has the deepest, gravel soaked growl of a voice I've ever heard. He's saying "I don't appreciate you taking my fucking daughter off without informing me." I respond with "I'll take your daughter wherever I want" as I'm walking inside. All of a sudden I feel like a 2x4 hit the back of my head. I turned around stunned and yelled out "did you just fucking hit me?"

It then turned into a yelling fight with me telling him to get the fuck out of my yard. He takes his daughter and leaves. I'm ready for him to be gone. I know he's already out on bond for waiving a gun around on somebody's cell Camara to intimidate them so I call the police. They are salivating for my to press charges but my sister starts saying she'll disown me so I drop.

A week later is Thanksgiving at my parents and they tell me she's coming over with dude. I'm like WTF! They come over I stay in room. She comes in and asks why I won't come out with family. Incredulous she's even asking I start to tell her how I feel. She then informs me that we both owe each other an apology because I deserved to get punched for what I said. I blow up at her and tell her to fuck off.

Ever since then she comes over all smug and arrogant and we have been feuding.

And great news. Dickface got convicted for possession of gun by multiple times felon and intimidation but didn't spend one day in jail but Florida is supposedly a hell hole for people of his skin tone.

Oh.... He threatened older sister after the first time she was introduced to him and he just lay on the bed high as fuck flipping through the T.V and only said "sup?". My older sister called my younger sister and told her she deserved better. Younger sister must have told him cause older got a call from her cell and dude told my mixed PR sister " talking shit is how white girls end up dead." When my older sister told my younger sister my younger sister said " oh he was just wrestling around(playing) with his cousin and butt dialed you."

I guess it's kind of a disagreement but older sister and I see it as betrayal for endangering family and choose a guy over us. I would never, never let one of my girlfriends lay hands on my sister.

Just so you don't think my sister is afraid. I can guarantee that's not the case. My sister's a thug 2 who dealt crack in worst Orlando ghetto, got into shootout with a bunch of other dudes and she's the one who starts most of the fights and is throwing fist first.
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Sounds like a nightmare, to be honest.

If it was me, I would have to cut him and her (since you say this is a life she is choosing, not being coerced into) out of my life. I can't see there being any chance of peace (for you) or resolution, probably never - people's personalities rarely change enough to be palateable when they're already that far from being resonable.
 
God that's a tough one. Maybe get him thrown back in prison dddue to his parole violations. What a piece of shit. Since your older sister is able to see what s dick this guy is, at least you have one ally.
I there isn't much you can do except tell the cops anonymously he's violating parole.
I'd watch out for this bloke, he sounds like a right heed the ball and your sister doesn't sound much better.
I feel for you and your niece 💗
 
axe battler said:
God that's a tough one. Maybe get him thrown back in prison dddue to his parole violations. What a piece of shit. Since your older sister is able to see what s dick this guy is, at least you have one ally.
I there isn't much you can do except tell the cops anonymously he's violating parole.
I'd watch out for this bloke, he sounds like a right heed the ball and your sister doesn't sound much better.
I feel for you and your niece 💗
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He's not on parole anymore and why they didn't lock him up for being a felon in possession of a fire arm when he has several weapons charges, including the armed robbery which sent him to prison is beyond me.

It's really crazy because my sister makes over 6 figures as a very respected nurse, comes home thugs out helping him sell drugs, while they feast off his $400 a month of food stamps and live in a a nice 3 bedroom, 2 bath house that she only pays $640(ridiculously cheap in America) a month for because she qualified for some single mother program. She's not even single and he shouldn't be getting foodstamps living with her. They fucking reward you for not getting married but popping babies over here.
 
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Eurgh, nightmare situation brother it might be for the best to try to let this play out its natural conclusion, as your involvement seems to be causing more conflict. It must be extremely hard, especially loving your niece, but unfortunately i can't think of how you can resolve this without getting this arsehole "dealt with" which if course BL doesn't encourage.
Have a snoop and the second he does anything wrong, especially with the child, report that shit.
 
My family only talks to me when they need something.
But whenever I need anything, it's lectures about how I need to "be more independent" "do this" "do that" "blah blah".
I gave up a long time ago.

Same with most of my friends.
Dealing with nosey neighbors now too trying to get me kicked out of my apartment (again) and my roommate is a psycho.
I'm at my rope's end with people in general.
 
DeathIndustrial88 said:
My family only talks to me when they need something.
But whenever I need anything, it's lectures about how I need to "be more independent" "do this" "do that" "blah blah".
I gave up a long time ago.

Same with most of my friends.
Dealing with nosey neighbors now too trying to get me kicked out of my apartment (again) and my roommate is a psycho.
I'm at my rope's end with people in general.
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It's certainly tough out there. So many people are vampires and fakers. There are good people but it can be difficult to find them as self-preservation requires them to wear a mask and hide their honeypot from the bears.
 
I strongly recommend disengaging. Continuing to be emotionally invested here is just going to get you hurt (emotionally or physically in this case!) however, since there is a child involved, I would remain vigilant for any signs of abuse or neglect, and report that shit ASAP. This does NOT sound like a healthy environment for your niece. I’m so sorry to hear about all this, I hope your sister eventually wises up!
 
Idk I try to treat everyone equally, friends , lovers, family, co-workers, or strangers. Everyone gets the benefit of the doubt initially. But if you fuck me over I rarely give you a chance to do it again.

I got a buddy that is always asking for money, I just give it to him without any expectations on getting it back. It's charity as far as I'm concerned. He messaged me yesterday saying he was off work early and online if I wanted to play Xbox. I thought to myself, "yeah of course you're off early, why the hell would you want to stay at work when you got somebody else paying your bills for you. " Lol

Even that kind of stuff doesn't necessarily f****** over because I know what I'm getting into with that. I just put myself in a situation where I would never have to rely on anyone unreliable ever again.
 
crazyhairman said:
Idk I try to treat everyone equally, friends , lovers, family, co-workers, or strangers. Everyone gets the benefit of the doubt initially. But if you fuck me over I rarely give you a chance to do it again.

I got a buddy that is always asking for money, I just give it to him without any expectations on getting it back. It's charity as far as I'm concerned. He messaged me yesterday saying he was off work early and online if I wanted to play Xbox. I thought to myself, "yeah of course you're off early, why the hell would you want to stay at work when you got somebody else paying your bills for you. " Lol

Even that kind of stuff doesn't necessarily f****** over because I know what I'm getting into with that. I just put myself in a situation where I would never have to rely on anyone unreliable ever again.
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Yeah, it definitely works better when you can create that distance yourself and maintain some control over the use and manipulation you know they're likely to exert. There can be a little more quid-pro-quo in terms of getting something out of the relationship for yourself (even if just someone to shoot the shit with for a few hours).

With family members or relationships/partners, it often feels so much more complex and less controllable, with hooks, triggers and behavioral patterns often set down decades in the past and no longer really obvious or visible.
 
considering the update, i’d definitely remove yourself from the situation. with his behavior, he’ll be back in prison very soon, i’m assuming. seems incredibly violent and unpredictable so stay clear, and maybe amend with sister when he gets in trouble again so he will be out of the picture. nightmare situation :(
 
xtcgrrrl said:
I strongly recommend disengaging. Continuing to be emotionally invested here is just going to get you hurt (emotionally or physically in this case!) however, since there is a child involved, I would remain vigilant for any signs of abuse or neglect, and report that shit ASAP. This does NOT sound like a healthy environment for your niece. I’m so sorry to hear about all this, I hope your sister eventually wises up!
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I totally agree with her comment! You should run with this advice because it sounds like you confronting this thugged out p.o.s will ultimately get you and everyone no where, except for the satisfaction of a sucker punch(which sounds like you owe him one. Honestly..fucker hit you in back of the head..BUT even in doing something violent like this will NOT help the current situation at all.

I feel that if you need to cut off your sister from your life for your own health and sanity is definitley warranted here, but I also feel that maybe the reason you are apart of thus quarrels is because you are meant to watch out for your niece as things must be getting more fucked.. I've always felt there is a reason for everything or reason for anybody you meet, not only to teach lessons but to get your role in life where it fits at any particular time. In this case I do feel that your niece is in desperate need of her uncle..this guy might be striking her in back of head(harder to see the signs of abuse, sort of like prison;he wants to hurt ppl when hes mad or jealous but doesn't want to get in trouble, so back of the head is a sure spot).

I say yeah your sister needs a rude awakening too because of this whole mess.
It would be different if we were talking about her and no kids in the predicament but their is a kiddo involved so I urge you to handle this with as much integrity as possible, this guy sounds like he could easily be or become a killer too.. just my 2 cents peace bro and I think you're holding it down pretty damn well so far.
 
CFC said:
It's certainly tough out there. So many people are vampires and fakers. There are good people but it can be difficult to find them as self-preservation requires them to wear a mask and hide their honeypot from the bears.
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I'm so fed up with humans.

Over the weekend, somebody complained about me smoking by our patio door (and blowing my smoke outside).
So the apartment had to send out a warning email letting people know that smoking on their property is a lease violation (yet they have no issue violating their own lease) & then encouraged tenants to snitch out anyone they see smoking.

Well I have a feeling it's this morbidly obese black guy below me that complained cause I caught him looking up here later on that day, almost like he was looking to see if he could see anything coming out of our door, except instead he saw me staring down at him & he quickly went inside.

Well last night I went out on the patio one more time to feed the rabbits (I've been feeding the rabbits around here since December, it brings me comfort & joy taking care of them) and I'm standing there throwing food down & I happen to look over & this black dude is sitting down there on the steps & he's staring right at me. Just giving me this like "I can't' believe you're doing that mother fucker" type of look. I made it obvious that him staring at me was making me uncomfortable. It got to the point where I finally had to say "You got a problem???" and then he mumbeld something about "now I know why my dog is always going crazy". So I'm convinced now that it was him that bitched about seeing me smoking out of my door & now his fatass keeps sitting out there & watching everything I'm doing to see what he can catch.

it's so fucking nosey & just boils my fucking blood. I dunno what to do about it either but I shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable on my patio just because this dude has a problem with everything I do. The whole reason we moved into these apts is cause we were shot at through the wall by our last neighbor. And the apts still wouldn't let us off our lease, but offered to move us over here. And now I gotta deal with this bastard sticking his nose in my business & breathing down my back.

Got into a lovely argument with my roommate this morning too because he lost his wallet (for the millionth time) and rather than own up to the fact that he needs to be more careful with his shit, it has to be my fault instead.

I won't even get into all the idiot drivers I see on a daily basis. A short trip to the store down the road takes a lot longer than it should because suddenly nobody remembers that green means GO anymore. Probably everyone distracted on their damn phones. I have to honk atleast 2 times at people to fucking move whenever I go out anywhere.

Like seriously, wtf is wrong with people ?? (around here anyway).

So I got an asshole for a rommate who gets on my shit at 530am upon waking.
Friends & family that like to take from me but never wanna return the favor.
Nosey neighbors trying to get me kicked out.
Tons of stress & other daily to do & worry about.
And to top it all off, I can't even take my favorite drugs to calm down or even enjoy or tolerate existence.
Everything I enjoy or derive pleasure from has been slowly eroded from me to the point where even me feeding rabbits bothers somebody else.

I wanna be left the fuck alone to live life in whatever way works for me & makes me happy, but that's impossible thanks to the society I live in.

Like, I can't even anymore. lol Nothing I can do or say changes or improves anything anymore. People fucking suck & we are ruled by corrupt pieces of megalomaniac shit that make it a crime for me to live how I want to live. Yet I literally get shot at in my apt & the apts & even the police DEFENDED the shooter & treated me & my roommate like we were losers for caring about a bullet coming through our wall. But if they had caught me doing heroin or something, you know they would have kicked down the door, killed my dog (if I had one) and then hauled me off to a cage. But shoot at some one through their apt? Pffft, whatever.

In my state, it's a mere "misdemeanor" for "accidentally"shooting a firearm. Which is what the dude tried to claim at the last apts. So you're more likely to get in trouble for being a drug user than if you were to shoot at some one and then cry "whoops, accident bro, just trust me!". Fucking crazy.
 
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xtcgrrrl said:
I strongly recommend disengaging. Continuing to be emotionally invested here is just going to get you hurt (emotionally or physically in this case!) however, since there is a child involved, I would remain vigilant for any signs of abuse or neglect, and report that shit ASAP. This does NOT sound like a healthy environment for your niece. I’m so sorry to hear about all this, I hope your sister eventually wises up!
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The only thing worse than dealing with my own addictions is watching somebody who I care about go through their own. At least with mine, I have some degree of control over it. But with somebody else, I just feel helpless.
 
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