Squirt
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2000
- Messages
- 2,899
she stood on the ledge, clinging to the railing, watching the snow swirl downwards towards the crowded streets below. people swarmed everywhere, like bees in a hive, all carrying little sacks of holiday goodies. she saw a woman bustle from one side of her car to another, stuffing packages in every door. another woman tugged her hysterical son behind her, away from the grid-locked toy store where she secretly just bought for him a christmas present.
"god i hate the holidays," she said to herself.
she turned around and looked up the wall of the building. so tall. so powerful. yet so fragile in the face of eternity. an earthquake... a tornado... a fire... there is something bigger than humans out there that they can't control. as hard as they try, they can't do it. and they are as fragile as the massive building she was in.
he walked through the sliding door, a glass of bourbon in his hand. clear, glass prism, with not a scratch or residual lipstick mark on it. it was her favorite bourbon glass, but he looked better with it, wearing the white dress shirt from the gathering the night before. she wondered how he wasn't shivering in the frigid weather wearing solely the shirt. but it didn't matter. his dark hair and sideburns framed his serene face, and he had the lightest, most compassionate eyes she had ever seen -- the color of the glaciers in alaska.
"what's the matter? all the people make you nervous?" such a lucid voice. smooth as the bourbon he was drinking.
"you know me."
"let the people have their fun." he paused, with a half-grin on that beautiful face. "we'll have ours. you ready?" she nodded; he grabbed her hand and led her inside.
they sat on the loveseat, gently moving the chenille throw out of the way. they both knew they would need it later. exchanging a look, he gave her the tablet. she put it in her mouth and took a sip of his bourbon to wash it down. he smiled, admiringly and softly, and took his tablet as well. they sat back, holding hands, talking, and waiting for it to kick in.
an hour later, he gave her a stick of chewing gum -- peppermint, her favorite flavor -- and took one for himself as well. returning his bourbon glass to the kitchen, he came back with two cups of ice water. she took a sip, closing her eyes and concentrating on it rolling off the back of her tongue down her throat, splashing in her stomach and mixing with whatever was already there. smiling, she opened her eyes and caught him watching her. he could only see her with pure amazement and wonder. what an amazing creature.
"happy holidays," he whispered.
more and more snow had started to fall, and it created a delicate blanket on the balcony railing. she kept glancing outside with a yearning look on her face. he knew she was anxious. placing his hand on her knee calmed her somewhat, but she still had the insatiable feeling that they should do it now.
as the effects reached the pinnacle for the night, he stood up, asked for her hand. he snatched the chenille throw as she took her last sip of water, and they walked into the bitter night cold. he wrapped the throw around them and they inched towards the ledge, watching the snow fall in the pure glory and power of reality. quite the belittling sensation.
"sure you want to do this?" he asked, to make sure no mistake was about to be made.
"definitely." she smiled.
"bottoms up." he shrugged.
and as he kissed her for the last time, they threw each other over the ledge.
down to the crowds below.
down with the snowflakes.
down the ladder of the world.
still up but on the never-ending come-down.
in a world where death is feared yet inevitable and inescapable.
in a world where life is the most important possession one can have.
down the ladder of the world where living is the most important thing a person can do.
they died happy.
high and together.
that's all that matters.
happiness is all that will ever matter.
===========
underlying message: i'm not saying throw yourself off a balcony. i'm not saying do drugs. look beyond that. i'm saying if you're not happy, do something different to make yourself happy. what kind of life is it that isn't enjoyed?
-- squirt
------------------
"sweet release / i feel better / and i hope this state of mind will last forever / sweet release / a relevation / and i long to show the world my situation"
[This message has been edited by Squirt (edited 02 December 2000).]
"god i hate the holidays," she said to herself.
she turned around and looked up the wall of the building. so tall. so powerful. yet so fragile in the face of eternity. an earthquake... a tornado... a fire... there is something bigger than humans out there that they can't control. as hard as they try, they can't do it. and they are as fragile as the massive building she was in.
he walked through the sliding door, a glass of bourbon in his hand. clear, glass prism, with not a scratch or residual lipstick mark on it. it was her favorite bourbon glass, but he looked better with it, wearing the white dress shirt from the gathering the night before. she wondered how he wasn't shivering in the frigid weather wearing solely the shirt. but it didn't matter. his dark hair and sideburns framed his serene face, and he had the lightest, most compassionate eyes she had ever seen -- the color of the glaciers in alaska.
"what's the matter? all the people make you nervous?" such a lucid voice. smooth as the bourbon he was drinking.
"you know me."
"let the people have their fun." he paused, with a half-grin on that beautiful face. "we'll have ours. you ready?" she nodded; he grabbed her hand and led her inside.
they sat on the loveseat, gently moving the chenille throw out of the way. they both knew they would need it later. exchanging a look, he gave her the tablet. she put it in her mouth and took a sip of his bourbon to wash it down. he smiled, admiringly and softly, and took his tablet as well. they sat back, holding hands, talking, and waiting for it to kick in.
an hour later, he gave her a stick of chewing gum -- peppermint, her favorite flavor -- and took one for himself as well. returning his bourbon glass to the kitchen, he came back with two cups of ice water. she took a sip, closing her eyes and concentrating on it rolling off the back of her tongue down her throat, splashing in her stomach and mixing with whatever was already there. smiling, she opened her eyes and caught him watching her. he could only see her with pure amazement and wonder. what an amazing creature.
"happy holidays," he whispered.
more and more snow had started to fall, and it created a delicate blanket on the balcony railing. she kept glancing outside with a yearning look on her face. he knew she was anxious. placing his hand on her knee calmed her somewhat, but she still had the insatiable feeling that they should do it now.
as the effects reached the pinnacle for the night, he stood up, asked for her hand. he snatched the chenille throw as she took her last sip of water, and they walked into the bitter night cold. he wrapped the throw around them and they inched towards the ledge, watching the snow fall in the pure glory and power of reality. quite the belittling sensation.
"sure you want to do this?" he asked, to make sure no mistake was about to be made.
"definitely." she smiled.
"bottoms up." he shrugged.
and as he kissed her for the last time, they threw each other over the ledge.
down to the crowds below.
down with the snowflakes.
down the ladder of the world.
still up but on the never-ending come-down.
in a world where death is feared yet inevitable and inescapable.
in a world where life is the most important possession one can have.
down the ladder of the world where living is the most important thing a person can do.
they died happy.
high and together.
that's all that matters.
happiness is all that will ever matter.
===========
underlying message: i'm not saying throw yourself off a balcony. i'm not saying do drugs. look beyond that. i'm saying if you're not happy, do something different to make yourself happy. what kind of life is it that isn't enjoyed?
-- squirt
------------------
"sweet release / i feel better / and i hope this state of mind will last forever / sweet release / a relevation / and i long to show the world my situation"
[This message has been edited by Squirt (edited 02 December 2000).]
