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Ex is causing problems

S

Slash5331

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 10, 2010
Messages
77
Ok so there is this girl I used to go out with who we'll call Charlotte.
There is this other girl who I'm getting together with. We'll call her Beth.

I'm 17, Charlotte is 17, Beth is 16, and we all go to the same boarding school, so we spend about 10 weeks at a time at school.
Charlotte and I haven't been together for quite a while now but she is still somewhat obsessed with me (she was ridiculously clingy). Now Beth and me are getting together, Charlotte is really jealous and is basically starting World War III with Beth (they live in the same boarding house). Charlotte is basically acting like "If I can't have him, no one can". I have talked to Charlotte about it. At first she seemed pretty intent on not letting anything happen between Beth and I, but after talking to her for a while we agreed that she wouldn't bother our relationship so long as she (Charlotte) and me could stay friends, which I agreed to.

So Beth and I get together. Day one and we haven't even seen each other and she has already started causing shit, being a general bitch to Beth and practically turning her rowing coach against her (they are even in the same rowing crew).
(How am I even meant to be friends with someone that does this shit?)

Before this Charlotte never had a problem with Beth but she seems to justify it by saying that Beth only started talking to me to annoy Charlotte and that Beth has always been a bitch to her for no reason (which is not true at all).


So, SLR. What do? I would really like to fix this before shit hits the fan. (If it does, it will be the most disgusting rotten, runniest shit ever).
 
Sounds like shit has already hit the fan. You're all so young to be dealing with this sort of thing, probably within a few months it will all blow over. First thing, stop being "friends" with the first girl. She agreed to not bother you as long as you could stay friends? More like, she wants to keep tabs on you and will continue to make Beth's life hell as long as you're still seeing her.

You can tell her to kindly butt out in which case she will still bully the new girlfriend. But being nice didn't work either. It's best not to date anyone at your school now, wait until after you've graduated to resume dating classmates.
 
Your ex is still being clingy and controlling you and now your new girlfriend. Tell her you want nothing more to do with her and get on with your life - let Beth decide if she can be bothered with the trouble. If she can ride it out hopefully Charlotte will get the message that it's actually over and move on.

You need to be firm or Charlotte will just continue to control/bully you. Do you not have an on-site councilor who Beth could report Charlotte for bullying? Maybe the thought of the risk of being booted from boarding school would make her focus elsewhere?
 
Is this is a co ed boarding school?

If it's an all girls school can I please direct you to the blogs section and please request you keep a diary

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i would stop speaking to the ex entirely- cut her out of your life as much as possible. by living in the same place as your ex and your new girlfriend you have pretty much shit on your own doorstep. good luck with that one

just ignore the first one and if she continues make a big scene in public to shut her up. sometimes if you want someone to move on if you are in their face all the time they have to really dislike you. harsh but effective. the only reason i'm suggesting it is because your new relationship is a constant trigger in her face daily and she hates your new girl but if the hate was transferred to you then your new girlfriend would have less shit to deal with. being friends with someone straight after a break up doesn't work unless the relationship was dead romance wise for a long time before the end on both parties fronts. otherwise its just keeping a painful wound open by constantly picking at it. some people will say its fine but it clearly isn't working for your ex.

this is what you get from living with two lovers
 
Yes it is never easy when the ex lingers on and on and on and then tries starting 'stuff' with current significant other. Bummer your all in same school because it won't be easy for any of you.
My sweetheart had an ex that clung on for over a year. Hundreds of texts, emails; even the odd crank call. Confrontation was avoided (he thought she'd just go away) which didn't help the ex with closure on little bit. The desperation continued until finally, she was told to back off. I felt almost sorry for her, almost. Well no, I did, I felt sorry for her.
Lesson learned? Confront, don't avoid. It will be easier for your ex to move on if your clear and leave no room for misinterpretation. and remember, be bold with her; don't sugar coat anything when dealing with an ex that's gone all obsessive/infatuated on you. Be cautious when talking to her. Don't give her any reason to think she has a chance with you for when a woman is in that state of delusional fixation, she'll take any little sign as a sign of hope so again, be bold and protect your new interests. You can still be a gentleman and a man who stands up for both his new girl and himself.
 
Ignore her.

She wants your attention and she's sure getting it. Report her for harassment and IGNORE HER.
 
I echo the threesome idea. You sound like you are in high school, now is the time to perfect your game.

When I was younger, I would always find myself in the middle of a bunch of bullshit drama. I tried to be the good guy and solve it but it just bit me in the ass. As I grew older I learned to be an asshole (when I needed to) and it has worked out much better for me.
 
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