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Ex gf kissed someone else -now i feel nothing?

E

eXalin

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 4, 2010
Messages
35
my ex dumped me after 4 year relationship 2 months ago, up until then I had been trying to get her back and still felt for her.

on saturday she got kissed by another boy and kissed back.

I found out and now I feel nothing for her, it is very strange, I feel almost numb, like something has been cut?

this is my first relationship, has anyone expierenced anything like this or can explain why I feel like this
 
Awww, eXalin, that's not a good feeling. :( It hurts, and it's OK to be hurt. At least you are taking it the right way: let it be that feeling of the cord has been cut, so you can finally move on. I think we've all been in that boat at some point in life. It doesn't feel good, and I'm sure it hurts more since it's your first relationship.

My best advice is to go out with your friends, have a good time and start talking to other girls. The latter can wait if you're not read, but definitely get out there and have fun.
 
Feel confused..it almost feels wrong that i dont feel anything and my mind is trying to find the feelings. I still think about her and I miss her but something is missing, hopefully this is a good thing and means Im on the road to recovery :)

Thankyou for taking the time to reply Lysis, it means alot.
 
It's a GREAT sign that you feel nothing. Don't fight it! Means you're moving on.
 
More power to you, man! It means that on a subconscious level you understand why you broke up and know it's for the better, and that you both deserve different things (i.e. not each other) that are better for you.

From here it will be nothing but upwards for you.
 
Maybe you're really realizing it's time to move on? It can be hard, but you have to do it sometime. Why wait ... there is no point in waiting ... just go for it now. It seems like you are "on the road to recovery" as you say.
 
It's also only recent, so maybe it just hasn't kicked in yet. It hurts when things like this happen, so maybe it sent you reeling a little.

Have you had a chat to a friend about everything that's happened, or are you still processing it all yourself?
 
I went to the gym today, I was fine when i was there. but now I cant stop thinking about it, i dont even know what im thinking about, my mind just feels unsettled? i thought i had moved on and let go... i dont feel interested in anything, i feel like my mind has become obsessed...crazy? i just wanna text or call her but i know it wont solve anything, i know shes moving on. so confused.

this really feels like drug withdrawl. i never thought it was possible to feel so fucked up.. i envy the people who can detach themselves so easily.

being at work with her 5 days a week does not help.

this is draining, trying to hard to get myself out of this mind state
 
Whatever you do don't call her or contact her in any way, it will make you look desperate and needy. And if you work with her just ignore her, and make sure you act really happy and carefree in her presence. This will drive her crazy as it sends the message that you're better than her and the end of the relationship doesn't really phase you (even if it does just hide it), and for some reason that really winds women up. If you do this properly there's a decent chance that she will try to get your attention and then BANG you're in the controlling seat with the choice of giving her mercy/second-chance, or getting revenge and shunning her for good and making her feel like she made a big mistake.
 
the easiest way to get over someone you love but cant have is to cut ALL contact with them.

how can you expect to get over her if you are with her most days of the week? can you find another job.

this is where the phrase about shitting on your own doorstep comes from. obviously your relationship was meaningful BUT now you will have a hard time escaping it mentally. not good.

new job= cauterisation of the wounds can begin. otherwise you will be reminded five days a week of what you dont have anymore.:\
 
I broke up with a girl I dated for 2 years, It tore me apart even though i did it but it had to be done. i felt the same way. It'll pass with time
 
pofacedhoe said:
the easiest way to get over someone you love but cant have is to cut ALL contact with them.

how can you expect to get over her if you are with her most days of the week? can you find another job.

this is where the phrase about shitting on your own doorstep comes from. obviously your relationship was meaningful BUT now you will have a hard time escaping it mentally. not good.

new job= cauterisation of the wounds can begin. otherwise you will be reminded five days a week of what you dont have anymore.:\
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Although I would prefer to get a new job myself in this situation, it is easily possible he'll get over her anyway. I had two years of sixth form being in the same class as my ex-girlfriend after a messy breakup, it just takes time. Love turns into hate, hate turns into nothingness. :)

It's a gradual process and there's no quick fix, you will feel like shit for ages, there's no point bullshitting. It'll probably get worse before it gets better, but one day, you will stop thinking about her completley, and you will find somebody else.

I wouldn't quit my job because of an ex.
 
StrutterGear said:
Although I would prefer to get a new job myself in this situation, it is easily possible he'll get over her anyway. I had two years of sixth form being in the same class as my ex-girlfriend after a messy breakup, it just takes time. Love turns into hate, hate turns into nothingness. :)

It's a gradual process and there's no quick fix, you will feel like shit for ages, there's no point bullshitting. It'll probably get worse before it gets better, but one day, you will stop thinking about her completley, and you will find somebody else.

I wouldn't quit my job because of an ex.
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i didn't suggest to quit the job, more to look for a new one. its much quicker to rid your mind of someone when they are not in your face every day. generally this is the problem with sleeping with your colleagues.

also it depends on how much you loved the person and individual variations as to weather you will end up holding a torch for someone as long as they are around. at the very least watching and hearing of them dating other people will make you feel worse that hearing nothing about them at all and slowly forgetting their memory. but maybe thats just me...
 
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