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Ever feel like you can feel death just around the corner?

shark58

shark58

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 21, 2025
Messages
1
Location
Panama City Beach, Florida
In my own ebb and flow of the past 25yrs in my IV opiate/brownstone/ice dance with the devil I've had it all and lost it all at least 3 times as I reflect back at current age of 46. Approx 8 accumulative calendar years behind the wire in FLDOC & county jails from Dothan, AL, Jackson, TN to Gainesville, FL & all gas & no brakes in between running the streets engulfed in my addiction, I've from time to time have felt Mr. Reeper on my heels, but ide find a way to dodge him through 3 overdoses in Panama City Beach in late 2000's. In 2019, I caught some cases (Heroin/meth/dwlsr/ID fraud/Fleeing prosection to another state), ordered to 10month rehab in Okeechobee, FL and then moved to my big sisters home after her husband passed in 2021. I haven't gotten high since my arrest in 19', but I am on BUP @2-13mg strips per day. Full-time employment, almost done with probation. But, for some reason the past month I've been having vivid dreams that I'm going to die soon. These premininitions & feeling I get almost on a daily basis now. It's almost disturbing. Anyone else had these bouts with your nearing afterlife? At the end of the day, when I was slamming a g of boi a day at age 27 I never thought ide even see 30, so I guess I need to be grateful I'm at 46 on "borrowed time"!
 
shark58 said:
In my own ebb and flow of the past 25yrs in my IV opiate/brownstone/ice dance with the devil I've had it all and lost it all at least 3 times as I reflect back at current age of 46. Approx 8 accumulative calendar years behind the wire in FLDOC & county jails from Dothan, AL, Jackson, TN to Gainesville, FL & all gas & no brakes in between running the streets engulfed in my addiction, I've from time to time have felt Mr. Reeper on my heels, but ide find a way to dodge him through 3 overdoses in Panama City Beach in late 2000's. In 2019, I caught some cases (Heroin/meth/dwlsr/ID fraud/Fleeing prosection to another state), ordered to 10month rehab in Okeechobee, FL and then moved to my big sisters home after her husband passed in 2021. I haven't gotten high since my arrest in 19', but I am on BUP @2-13mg strips per day. Full-time employment, almost done with probation. But, for some reason the past month I've been having vivid dreams that I'm going to die soon. These premininitions & feeling I get almost on a daily basis now. It's almost disturbing. Anyone else had these bouts with your nearing afterlife? At the end of the day, when I was slamming a g of boi a day at age 27 I never thought ide even see 30, so I guess I need to be grateful I'm at 46 on "borrowed time"!
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Dreams of death can indicate rebirth and fresh starts as well. That said, listen to yourself. The streets are awash with poison like never before and people are dropping in excess of 110,000/year. Listen to yourself and remember that falling off now is Russian roulette. Congratulations on maintaining on bupe and having a fresh start.
 
shark58 said:
But, for some reason the past month I've been having vivid dreams that I'm going to die soon. These premininitions & feeling I get almost on a daily basis now. It's almost disturbing.
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear you're going through this right now. If you stay a bit and look through the forums, especially The Dark Side, you might find others who are or have been in similar situations.

Welcome to bluelight!
 
Welcome to blueworld

I use to get vivid dreams of murder or me being the victim when I swap meds.

Aren't you on a constant dose of bupre or program?
 
shark58 said:
Anyone else had these bouts with your nearing afterlife?
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Amazing to read that whatever crimes you committed,
in America you go to prison for things that will only get you
'don t do it a 4-th time OK', from the cops [like dealing speed]

Even serious crimes sentences are short.
In america they take a whole part of your live away.

On topic: My last LSD trip, why ? very clear notice.
I ll die of lung cancer.
Why not grew up in smoke, Asbest leftovers, PAHs, then the PFAS.
Add some Glyfosaat and minor self inflicted Tobacco smoke.

Makes sense, but a real weird Psychedelic revelation.
Never happened before.

And it was clear, like spoken by the big Chief.
And Hell is just round the corner where it always been.
In real life.
 
Sometimes these feelings can be caused by stress or anxiety. It is worth talking to someone or seeking professional support to understand these emotions.
 
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