Harm Reduction Etizolam addiction and affect on other drugs and depression

[roastlamb123]

Hello

Back story

I currently suffer from clinical depression, anxiety and have been recently prescribed new medication. Neither Prozac (fluoxetine) or Citalopram helped so I have now been given venlafaxine. I have not taken anti depressants in 6 months.

I have no energy, motivation, socialism and find all activities that I used to enjoy boring and worthless.

I have a history of drug use including MDMA, Amphetamine, Mephedrone, Ephylphenidate, Marijuana, LSD, nicotine and Cocaine. Using these drugs is not advisable when depressed which I do realize.


Due to this depression I have regularly been using etizolam for sleep in doses of usually 4-6mg since my days are so dull I just feel worse the longer I stay awake. If I go a couple of days without etizolam I really start to notice horrendous withdrawals (particularly insomnia) such as cold sweats, hot flushes, fatigue etc. I have been using for at least a year now.

My questions are:

Can Etizolam worsen existing depression, especially in these dosages?
Can Etizolam addiction dampen the effects of other drugs?

Cocaine - (tried from various sources) makes me anxious, nauseous, tired and anti-social.
Ephyl - Just makes me anxious
MDMA - Effects are substantially reduced.
Marijuana - Minimal effect - Various strains tried which makes friends social but me tired and anti-social.

The two drugs that I get benefit from:

LSD actually affects me and provides Euphoria, an overall pleasant experience when used.
Amphetamine gives me the focus and energy that I lack.

Sorry if this is in the wrong place but I would really appreciate some feedback, experiences and advice.

Thank you

 

[FIR3man]

For Q #1- Benzo's, in my experience, can make you depressed or morso if already depressed. If I was to take a benzo and someone slightly made me upset while on them (whether enough for a "buzz", or just a therapeutic dose) it would ruin the entire experience and for the rest of it i would be a depressed and cranky asshat.

For Q #2- Benzos can dampen drugs that cause stimulation by the eitzolam keeping you calm and cool (maybe even tired, also meaning anti social if you just wanna be left alone and go to sleep). You're experiences with those drugs sound how most would react when mixing them with etizolam. It all makes sense to me anyway.

Try to stay away from benzos if you're depressed. I've attempted suicide twice while on them years ago because of being messed with while under the influence and reduce in anxiousness or nervousness of actually ending life entirely.
Hope you get better. The place you're in sucks, I've been there. Made it out though, keep your head up and for your time in the day that the things you used to love doing are boring to you, try something new like model building, writing, puzzles, or anything to keep your mind occupied thinking of things productive instead of thinking about how depressed you are and how bad life sucks.. (only for the moment! remind yourself you'll eventually get better. Nothing lasts forever, it's too long lol.) Break the chain.

Good luck.