Pattern
Greenlighter
Date: 21/6/2013
Substances: 300mg DXM Hbr, 120mg 5-MeO-DALT Freebase (off-white, texture of fine sand)
Bodytype: 30, male, 83kg (~183lbs), no tolerance to either substance, no co-medication
23:00: Consume ~240mg DXM in syrup. Had a very light snack 90 mins prior. Figure I’ll wait for the DXM to come on before taking the 5-MeO-DALT, both to reduce nausea and because the DXM’s effects will last longer.
+30mins: Feel nothing yet. Decide to top-up with 60mg DXM, in tablet form, before the syrup kicks in. Within 15 mins I feel a numbing sensation from the DXM.
+1hr: Put ~120mg 5-MeO-DALT into half a gel-cap and swallow it quickly. Lick the powder residue of the scale pan and discover the horrible bitter taste. Start chewing gum to remove the foul taste. Feel increasingly woozy from the DXM, so I dim the lighting and lie on my bed to listen to some electronic dance music through earphones while I wait for the 5-MeO-DALT to take effect.
+1hr15: Feeling more & more inebriated, the music has additional depth and mood-lifting qualities and I’m beginning to experience altered thought patterns. Get the impression the 5-MeO-DALT is already coming on.
+1hr30: Definitely being hit by the 5-MeO-DALT now, much sooner and harder than it hit me before alone. A strong head-rush takes hold and my heart is pumping furiously, though the feeling is numbed somewhat by the DXM. My head is beginning to spin and the music is making things worse so I take out my earphones. My vision has started to “sway”, and even slight head movements are causing extreme dizziness. To keep this manageable I turn on the top light, so I can focus better on a visual point of reference as a stabilizer. Despite the gum, the taste of the syrup and 5-MeO-DALT is re-emerging in the back of my mouth. Whether due to olfactory hallucinations or GI reflux I’m not sure, but it’s making me feel queasy and I begin to worry about vomiting and ruining the experience. The unpleasantly strong physical effects and racing thoughts make the possibility of a panic attack very real, which could feed into a nasty psychosomatic spiral. I reassure myself it’s just the come up.
+1hr40: Still lying helpless and motionless on my bed, feeling extreme dizziness and mental confusion. I need the top light on to counteract dizziness, but the room has become so bright it’s hurting my eyes. I’m getting powerful dissociative perceptual distortions. Despite what my eyes see, my body feels like it’s on a tilted surface with my head lower than my feet. This is uncomfortable, but when I prop myself up on extra pillows, I begin to feel like the room is spinning, which is worse. I just have to play along with the sensation. At times it feels like I’m actually being suspended head down from my heels. I’m getting visual distortions now: the ceiling seems lower, and the cracks and bumps are accentuated. I can read the clock across the room clearly, and which is odd because I’m not wearing glasses.
+1hr50: Due to the brightness, I begin to close my eyes for brief periods. The first thing I notice is the impression that I can “see” the room through my eyelids, which is slightly disconcerting. I attribute this to visual memory lag caused by the DXM. After a few minutes I cover my eyelids with my hands and notice CEVs of cartoonish faces with feline attributes like whiskers and cat ears. They’re similar to visuals I’d get from cannabis or diphenhyrdramine rather than colourful geometric patterns typical of serotonergic hallucinogens. But I’m not in the right mindframe to really care about CEVs.
+2hrs: A sense of physical pleasure/euphoria now offsets the mental turbulence of the 5-MeO-DALT come-up. The minty gum in my mouth is giving me odd but surprisingly enjoyable sensations, like there’s a hole in the side of my jaw letting in fresh air. My head feels somewhat distanced from the rest of my body, and with eyes closed I feel mild disembodiment. Mentally, I feel disconnected from everyday life. Looking at some shelves on the wall, I feel like I’ve moved onto a “shelf” in my mind from which I can observe my life from the margins. I begin dissecting my thought-content in an intense gestalt kind of way. Soon I’m able to sit up, and jot down some insights regarding my constant negative thinking pattern. The perpetual search for meaning in everything I come across is identified as a major barrier to accepting myself and the world around me.
+2hrs15: Still very wobbly, I make my way cautiously to the bathroom. My head is spinning like mad, and I’m afraid I might buckle or trip. As I relieve myself I’m pleasantly surprised to be managing to get the entire stream into the toilet. Given the fact I feel like I’m on board a ship in rough seas, I’m a little surprised not to be staggering around and pissing on the floor or myself. For a moment I worry that I could be imagining this and actually HAVE pissed myself, as if I were asleep.
+2hrs20-4hrs30: I sit down to watch the film Requiem For A Dream. I notice considerable tension in my body, especially in the back of the neck. I’m also shivering uncontrollably, though it neither is nor feels cold. As the film begins, I’m startled by a sudden whooshing sound in the opening sequence, which feels like it hits me right between the eyes. I flinch and my heart starts palpitating furiously. I’m INCREDIBLY jumpy and tweaked. As the first scene plays out, the choppy shot-sequencing feels powerfully frantic. When the screen splits in two down the middle, it blows my mind. I’ve always noticed a stereoscopic separation in music from DXM, but now I feel like each of my eyes is watching a separate half of the screen, like a chameleon. The film cuts to Tyrone in the hallway, and the full extent of the 5-MeO-DALT’s effect becomes clear. His body is grossly distorted, with an incredibly long thorax and shrunken limbs. Insectoid would be the term. As he and Harry push the TV along the street, I can’t get over how bizarre they look. Small heads and arms, long torsos and bendy little legs! Later, other distortions appear. People seem tall and skinny, then short and squashed. Ears are blown up to huge proportions. At no point does anything actually morph or grow, the illusion is based entirely on the perception of relative body proportions. Sound is distorted to the point where the film seems to have been dubbed. But the more I watch the less satisfactory the film gets. The acting seems forced and unauthentic, the dialogue and editing seem contrived. Suspension of disbelief crumbles under laser sharp analysis of every sound and facial expression. I just cannot get passed the fact they’re acting. I put on a social documentary which is more enjoyable, though I keep noticing how “clumsy” and deliberate the editing seems. However, I feel decidedly warm and empathetic toward the human subjects of the documentary.
+4hrs30: I go and get a snack, but the texture and taste are totally bland. No enjoyment at all. At this point I realise how aware of my thinking process I am. During the come-up I had to silence the monologue that goes on inside my head, with its upsetting negative OCD bullshit. Now it’s creeping back in bit by bit. I get into bed and listen to music for a bit, but it’s not particularly enjoyable. Then I lie there and just appreciate silence. Nice. If only I could do that all the time and not always seek distractions. I meditate a few minutes (that’s the closest term I can think of). With my neurotic mind, I find it nearly impossibly to do this sober. This is one of the best things for me about psychedelics, the ability to just “be”. I get more insights, like how certain dreams are showing me the importance of a particular person in my life who I’ve been overlooking. I’ve been very negative about myself and the world during the past few months, but I can see that underneath my stinking thinking patterns, I still have the capacity for humanity and love waiting to be expressed.
+5hrs-5hrs30: In the dark, everything seems made up of a grainy texture, overwhelmingly grey and a bit sinister. Faint CEVs of spinning geometric shapes appear in my vision. I also see bursts of native Mesoamerican art, half in my phosphenes, half in my mind’s eye. The line between thoughts and CEVs is slightly blurred. I can hear what sounds like a leaf blower starting up in the distance, a common sound in the park near my house. I realise this is the distorted sound of wind blowing in the trees outside. But it persists and now the line between imagination and hearing seems blurred.
+6hrs: Sensory distortions almost entirely gone. Flashing in my visual field remains, an alternate darkening and lightening of the room. My body remains uncomfortably stimulated and I feel unable to rest. My jaw is very tense and my front teeth feel achy and almost like they’re being pushed out by new teeth (2 weeks on I’m still getting this). I think back over the trip, and begin writing a trip report while the memories are fresh.
+6hrs-10hrs: Riding out a very slow comedown, residual stimulation is still problematic. I get to sleep after 9am. Bear in mind I’ve suffered from insomnia and displaced sleeping patterns for some time as a complication of BZD withdrawal.
Summary: I was expecting an amped-up 5-MeO-DALT experience, but the balance of effects was around 60-40 to DXM. The DXM seemed potentiated by the 5-MeO-DALT rather than the other way round. Compared with 5-MeO-DALT alone, the dissociative effects of the DXM blunted the finer emotional and euphoric effects of the 5-MeO-DALT. The intoxication/body-load was somewhat distracting. Afterwards, I felt a definite desire to repeat the experience sooner rather than later, but the fact I once abused DXM regularly may make me more sensitive to this. The trip did produce a couple of semi-profound personal insights, especially during the intense come-up (maybe there’s no-pain, no-gain with psychedelics). Thanks for reading, happy travels.
Substances: 300mg DXM Hbr, 120mg 5-MeO-DALT Freebase (off-white, texture of fine sand)
Bodytype: 30, male, 83kg (~183lbs), no tolerance to either substance, no co-medication
23:00: Consume ~240mg DXM in syrup. Had a very light snack 90 mins prior. Figure I’ll wait for the DXM to come on before taking the 5-MeO-DALT, both to reduce nausea and because the DXM’s effects will last longer.
+30mins: Feel nothing yet. Decide to top-up with 60mg DXM, in tablet form, before the syrup kicks in. Within 15 mins I feel a numbing sensation from the DXM.
+1hr: Put ~120mg 5-MeO-DALT into half a gel-cap and swallow it quickly. Lick the powder residue of the scale pan and discover the horrible bitter taste. Start chewing gum to remove the foul taste. Feel increasingly woozy from the DXM, so I dim the lighting and lie on my bed to listen to some electronic dance music through earphones while I wait for the 5-MeO-DALT to take effect.
+1hr15: Feeling more & more inebriated, the music has additional depth and mood-lifting qualities and I’m beginning to experience altered thought patterns. Get the impression the 5-MeO-DALT is already coming on.
+1hr30: Definitely being hit by the 5-MeO-DALT now, much sooner and harder than it hit me before alone. A strong head-rush takes hold and my heart is pumping furiously, though the feeling is numbed somewhat by the DXM. My head is beginning to spin and the music is making things worse so I take out my earphones. My vision has started to “sway”, and even slight head movements are causing extreme dizziness. To keep this manageable I turn on the top light, so I can focus better on a visual point of reference as a stabilizer. Despite the gum, the taste of the syrup and 5-MeO-DALT is re-emerging in the back of my mouth. Whether due to olfactory hallucinations or GI reflux I’m not sure, but it’s making me feel queasy and I begin to worry about vomiting and ruining the experience. The unpleasantly strong physical effects and racing thoughts make the possibility of a panic attack very real, which could feed into a nasty psychosomatic spiral. I reassure myself it’s just the come up.
+1hr40: Still lying helpless and motionless on my bed, feeling extreme dizziness and mental confusion. I need the top light on to counteract dizziness, but the room has become so bright it’s hurting my eyes. I’m getting powerful dissociative perceptual distortions. Despite what my eyes see, my body feels like it’s on a tilted surface with my head lower than my feet. This is uncomfortable, but when I prop myself up on extra pillows, I begin to feel like the room is spinning, which is worse. I just have to play along with the sensation. At times it feels like I’m actually being suspended head down from my heels. I’m getting visual distortions now: the ceiling seems lower, and the cracks and bumps are accentuated. I can read the clock across the room clearly, and which is odd because I’m not wearing glasses.
+1hr50: Due to the brightness, I begin to close my eyes for brief periods. The first thing I notice is the impression that I can “see” the room through my eyelids, which is slightly disconcerting. I attribute this to visual memory lag caused by the DXM. After a few minutes I cover my eyelids with my hands and notice CEVs of cartoonish faces with feline attributes like whiskers and cat ears. They’re similar to visuals I’d get from cannabis or diphenhyrdramine rather than colourful geometric patterns typical of serotonergic hallucinogens. But I’m not in the right mindframe to really care about CEVs.
+2hrs: A sense of physical pleasure/euphoria now offsets the mental turbulence of the 5-MeO-DALT come-up. The minty gum in my mouth is giving me odd but surprisingly enjoyable sensations, like there’s a hole in the side of my jaw letting in fresh air. My head feels somewhat distanced from the rest of my body, and with eyes closed I feel mild disembodiment. Mentally, I feel disconnected from everyday life. Looking at some shelves on the wall, I feel like I’ve moved onto a “shelf” in my mind from which I can observe my life from the margins. I begin dissecting my thought-content in an intense gestalt kind of way. Soon I’m able to sit up, and jot down some insights regarding my constant negative thinking pattern. The perpetual search for meaning in everything I come across is identified as a major barrier to accepting myself and the world around me.
+2hrs15: Still very wobbly, I make my way cautiously to the bathroom. My head is spinning like mad, and I’m afraid I might buckle or trip. As I relieve myself I’m pleasantly surprised to be managing to get the entire stream into the toilet. Given the fact I feel like I’m on board a ship in rough seas, I’m a little surprised not to be staggering around and pissing on the floor or myself. For a moment I worry that I could be imagining this and actually HAVE pissed myself, as if I were asleep.
+2hrs20-4hrs30: I sit down to watch the film Requiem For A Dream. I notice considerable tension in my body, especially in the back of the neck. I’m also shivering uncontrollably, though it neither is nor feels cold. As the film begins, I’m startled by a sudden whooshing sound in the opening sequence, which feels like it hits me right between the eyes. I flinch and my heart starts palpitating furiously. I’m INCREDIBLY jumpy and tweaked. As the first scene plays out, the choppy shot-sequencing feels powerfully frantic. When the screen splits in two down the middle, it blows my mind. I’ve always noticed a stereoscopic separation in music from DXM, but now I feel like each of my eyes is watching a separate half of the screen, like a chameleon. The film cuts to Tyrone in the hallway, and the full extent of the 5-MeO-DALT’s effect becomes clear. His body is grossly distorted, with an incredibly long thorax and shrunken limbs. Insectoid would be the term. As he and Harry push the TV along the street, I can’t get over how bizarre they look. Small heads and arms, long torsos and bendy little legs! Later, other distortions appear. People seem tall and skinny, then short and squashed. Ears are blown up to huge proportions. At no point does anything actually morph or grow, the illusion is based entirely on the perception of relative body proportions. Sound is distorted to the point where the film seems to have been dubbed. But the more I watch the less satisfactory the film gets. The acting seems forced and unauthentic, the dialogue and editing seem contrived. Suspension of disbelief crumbles under laser sharp analysis of every sound and facial expression. I just cannot get passed the fact they’re acting. I put on a social documentary which is more enjoyable, though I keep noticing how “clumsy” and deliberate the editing seems. However, I feel decidedly warm and empathetic toward the human subjects of the documentary.
+4hrs30: I go and get a snack, but the texture and taste are totally bland. No enjoyment at all. At this point I realise how aware of my thinking process I am. During the come-up I had to silence the monologue that goes on inside my head, with its upsetting negative OCD bullshit. Now it’s creeping back in bit by bit. I get into bed and listen to music for a bit, but it’s not particularly enjoyable. Then I lie there and just appreciate silence. Nice. If only I could do that all the time and not always seek distractions. I meditate a few minutes (that’s the closest term I can think of). With my neurotic mind, I find it nearly impossibly to do this sober. This is one of the best things for me about psychedelics, the ability to just “be”. I get more insights, like how certain dreams are showing me the importance of a particular person in my life who I’ve been overlooking. I’ve been very negative about myself and the world during the past few months, but I can see that underneath my stinking thinking patterns, I still have the capacity for humanity and love waiting to be expressed.
+5hrs-5hrs30: In the dark, everything seems made up of a grainy texture, overwhelmingly grey and a bit sinister. Faint CEVs of spinning geometric shapes appear in my vision. I also see bursts of native Mesoamerican art, half in my phosphenes, half in my mind’s eye. The line between thoughts and CEVs is slightly blurred. I can hear what sounds like a leaf blower starting up in the distance, a common sound in the park near my house. I realise this is the distorted sound of wind blowing in the trees outside. But it persists and now the line between imagination and hearing seems blurred.
+6hrs: Sensory distortions almost entirely gone. Flashing in my visual field remains, an alternate darkening and lightening of the room. My body remains uncomfortably stimulated and I feel unable to rest. My jaw is very tense and my front teeth feel achy and almost like they’re being pushed out by new teeth (2 weeks on I’m still getting this). I think back over the trip, and begin writing a trip report while the memories are fresh.
+6hrs-10hrs: Riding out a very slow comedown, residual stimulation is still problematic. I get to sleep after 9am. Bear in mind I’ve suffered from insomnia and displaced sleeping patterns for some time as a complication of BZD withdrawal.
Summary: I was expecting an amped-up 5-MeO-DALT experience, but the balance of effects was around 60-40 to DXM. The DXM seemed potentiated by the 5-MeO-DALT rather than the other way round. Compared with 5-MeO-DALT alone, the dissociative effects of the DXM blunted the finer emotional and euphoric effects of the 5-MeO-DALT. The intoxication/body-load was somewhat distracting. Afterwards, I felt a definite desire to repeat the experience sooner rather than later, but the fact I once abused DXM regularly may make me more sensitive to this. The trip did produce a couple of semi-profound personal insights, especially during the intense come-up (maybe there’s no-pain, no-gain with psychedelics). Thanks for reading, happy travels.
