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Misc Drugs that actually helped with your BPD/depression?

bellisperennis

bellisperennis

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 18, 2024
Messages
13
It goes without saying that therapy is definitely number one on the list. It's just never helped me not feeling like shit.

I've been on antidepressants for 10 years, 8 of those on citalopram. I don't know if I've just gotten more tolerance to it, but it does nothing for me. For some time now, there's nothing that can get me excited.

I'm just so tired and I want to feel this load off my shoulders.
 
There's zero chance I have BPD yet your whole post feels very very true to me. I just want to drop dead because I'm so sick of cycling between feeling like shit and feeling absolutely nothing. I don't know what the point is if that's all I get to experience without falling into uncontrollable, dangerous addictions.

Did the citalopram ever help you in the first place? I guess there's not really a point in asking that, since the "solution" is going to be the same no matter what your answer is. Even antidepressants that work for people at first often lose their effectiveness over time. All you can really do with that is try a different one.

Personally though, I think it's worth considering a mood stabilizer instead of an antidepressant. It's not exactly inappropriate for your diagnosis, and in my non-BPD experience mood stabilizers at least do something, even if it's not enough. Tell your doctor that your meds aren't really cutting it anymore, and ask if you can try something that works differently. Even if they want you to stick with antidepressants, there are other types out there than just SSRIs (like, there's tricyclic antidepressants, SNRIs, DNRIs, etc,)
 
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bellisperennis said:
It goes without saying that therapy is definitely number one on the list. It's just never helped me not feeling like shit.

I've been on antidepressants for 10 years, 8 of those on citalopram. I don't know if I've just gotten more tolerance to it, but it does nothing for me. For some time now, there's nothing that can get me excited.

I'm just so tired and I want to feel this load off my shoulders.
Click to expand...
There ain't a lot of drugs out there that will work with antidepressants. You first have to quit those.

Bar maybe weed, about 24 years ago I tried citalopram for a month or two. Heck did it made me drink like a fish. Never again and no need either.
 
Bruh, citalopram made me a murder-child. If I weren't stuck in the body of an 8 year old girl when I was on it I would have absolutely murdered my entire family on that shit. It worked as an antidepressant because it replaced every single emotion with exploding rage and burning hatred. I'm not exaggerating any of this, either. It was that bad for me.

I've heard good things about wellbutrin, but it was putting me in the "stay in bed 24/7 and do no required human things other than sleep" zone. Then my neurologists called and told me they didn't want me on it because I'd already had a seizure in the past. Later found out the way my body metabolizes wellbutrin was probably putting too much of it in my system at once. I still think it's an interesting antidepressant that deserves some kind of respect for its strange way of working and apparently being effective for anhedonia.
 
Antares said:
There's zero chance I have BPD yet your whole post feels very very true to me. I just want to drop dead because I'm so sick of cycling between feeling like shit and feeling absolutely nothing. I don't know what the point is if that's all I get to experience without falling into uncontrollable, dangerous addictions.

Did the citalopram ever help you in the first place? I guess there's not really a point in asking that, since the "solution" is going to be the same no matter what your answer is. Even antidepressants that work for people at first often lose their effectiveness over time. All you can really do with that is try a different one.

Personally though, I think it's worth considering a mood stabilizer instead of an antidepressant. It's not exactly inappropriate for your diagnosis, and in my non-BPD experience mood stabilizers at least do something, even if it's not enough. Tell your doctor that your meds aren't really cutting it anymore, and ask if you can try something that works differently. Even if they want you to stick with antidepressants, there are other types out there than just SSRIs (like, there's tricyclic antidepressants, SNRIs, DNRIs, etc,)
Click to expand...
Citalopram was definitley the only antidepressant for me that had an effect and didn't make me go even crazier or super sleepy. But yeah. I don't know if it ever really did work. I have to say what helped me most was get my dog lol. But even he can't really lift my spirits anymore.

It's funny that it made you feel so much rage, because for me it's pretty much the opposite haha. It definitley makes me more apethetic which in itself isn't bad.

Wellbutrin definitley sounds good. I'll definitley bring it up with my doctor.

I hope you'll find something that actually helps you, soon, by the way.
 
bellisperennis said:
Citalopram was definitley the only antidepressant for me that had an effect and didn't make me go even crazier or super sleepy. But yeah. I don't know if it ever really did work. I have to say what helped me most was get my dog lol. But even he can't really lift my spirits anymore.
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If citalopram worked how come are you still on it years later?
Is it hereditary bpd?

That's like the prozac addicts 'without prozac I can't function' something the company which made it is wel aware off.
 
Arnold said:
If citalopram worked how come are you still on it years later?
Is it hereditary bpd?

That's like the prozac addicts 'without prozac I can't function' something the company which made it is wel aware off.
Click to expand...
I guess saying it works is wrong. Maybe it works enough to help me be a somewhat functional person, idk. At this point I am unsure if it ever really did work. My doctor and therapist recommended I stay on it.

I have a new therapist and he endorsed my being on an antidepressant. In fact, I got the impression he would not give me therapy if I wasn't.

Afaik there is no one else in my family with BPD, but I could be wrong.
 
Do you do DBT with your therapist?

What illegal drugs have you tried in the past?
 
Arnold said:
Do you do DBT with your therapist?

What illegal drugs have you tried in the past?
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No, CBT. My previous therapy was also CBT as far as I can remember.

I'm very innocent haha. I've only smoked weed and inhaled poppers.
 
Why haven't you tried DBT?

Afaik, cbt is not very effective for bpd but dbt is.

If you quit the citalopram you could try a plethora of other drugs to see what works.

Microdosing mushrooms/lsd, ketamine, tryptamines etc...
 
Arnold said:
Why haven't you tried DBT?

Afaik, cbt is not very effective for bpd but dbt is.

If you quit the citalopram you could try a plethora of other drugs to see what works.

Microdosing mushrooms/lsd, ketamine, tryptamines etc...
Click to expand...
I've honestly never seen a therapist offer where I live (Germany). But it might also be that the German name is just too ambiguous and I am actually doing DBT.

Thank you for your help!
 
DMT, like crazy. I can't even believe how good the stuff is for me. I went through 7 DMT carts in 2 months last year between mid march to end of May. During this period despite there being a lot wrong, I was so much happier. I could just trip all my problems away just like that. The ego death and then slowly coming back and realizing who you are was so cleansing for me. I've taken every class of anti-depressant, they're like sugar pills, or they make things worse.

DMT has never done me wrong. I really wish there was a Heisenberg out there slinging DMT in mass, but most people find it too intense. This is what happens if you only do a little and not go really far. As Terrance McKenna once said, or along the lines of, the problem with DMT is when you do too little. So the only one bad trip I had was when I tried 50mg on a glass dabber thing and was stuck in the dreaded waiting room. Even then, for an entire week all of my mental illness was gone. My OCD, gone. My anxiety, gone. My depression, gone. And my OCD is bad too.
 
Old School MDMA helped me with manic depression and HPPD. I've never had PTSD before. Knocks on wood.
 
Surprised MDMA would help HPPD, it seems like it'd make it worse if anything. I've heard of people having HPPD symptoms from clean MDMA. Seems like it could be risky with manic depression, I guess it depends though. I did find MDMA to help me with my depression and other things, which is an extensive list that includes C-PTSD. Be glad you don't have that, it's probably the worst thing out of everything, and DMT helped so profoundly with that too. Maybe that's why the intensity didn't scare me that much, I've experienced so much more trauma than what a bad trip could do.
 
Arnold said:
If citalopram worked how come are you still on it years later?
Is it hereditary bpd?

That's like the prozac addicts 'without prozac I can't function' something the company which made it is wel aware off.
Click to expand...

If it treats the symptoms while you're on it, it works. You're basically saying the equivalent of opiates don't even work for short term pain because all they do is mask it until the source (hopefully) heals. They don't actually cure the pain for the rest of your life. Like all of it is just useless. Very, very few meds are like antibiotics where you just are on it for a bit and then the problem is cured. They still work.

You can have criticisms of these companies and meds, but don't be silly about it.

There's also no cure for BPD, so it's particularly ridiculous for you to talk that way. All you can do with things like this is treat the symptoms by taking meds (which only lasts as long as the med does ;)), and hope you can learn to cope through therapy or experience.
 
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Antares said:
If it treats the symptoms while you're on it, it works. You're basically saying the equivalent of opiates don't even work for short term pain because all they do is mask it until the source (hopefully) heals. They don't actually cure the pain for the rest of your life. Like all of it is just useless. Very, very few meds are like antibiotics where you just are on it for a bit and then the problem is cured. They still work.

You can have criticisms of these companies and meds, but don't be silly about it.

There's also no cure for BPD, so it's particularly ridiculous for you to talk that way. All you can do with things like this is treat the symptoms by taking meds (which only lasts as long as the med does ;)), and hope you can learn to cope through therapy or experience.
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I don't believe that non heridatary depression can't be cured, that is the reason if I asked if it was hereditary.

Comparing chronic pain to reactionary depression/BPD, events happen which create BPD, which you are doing is totally not the same and even in some chronic pain situations the pain can be lessened or alleviated.

People who have been in therapy for many years with DBT can cope without meds. See quora...
Yes I know there are varying grades/severity of BPD and even in their own classes.

I've known in the past females who once they start with prozac/anti depressants for reactionary depression, non bpd, will be on them for the rest of their lives and can't live or function without them. They're like addicts after the placebo effect which is totally wrong, they can't stop them as when you stop them you will feel worse for a bit which they can't mentally go through instead of roughing it out for a bit.

OP even said, she's on them but stil feels down and like the umptieth one passing here after the ad's dunni work/have an effect.
Depression is self inflicted in non heridatary people and you're telling me it can't be cured? :unsure:

If you start out with that mindset it won't ever be cured or lessened.
 
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Arnold said:
I don't believe that non heridatary depression can't be cured, that is the reason if I asked if it was hereditary.

Comparing chronic pain to reactionary depression/BPD, events happen which create BPD, which you are doing is totally not the same and even in some chronic pain situations the pain can be lessened or alleviated.

People who have been in therapy for many years with DBT can cope without meds. See quora...
Yes I know there are varying grades/severity of BPD and even in their own classes.

I've known in the past females who once they start with prozac/anti depressants for reactionary depression, non bpd, will be on them for the rest of their lives and can't live or function without them. They're like addicts after the placebo effect which is totally wrong, they can't stop them as when you stop them you will feel worse for a bit which they can't mentally go through instead of roughing it out for a bit.

OP even said, she's on them but stil feels down and like the umptieth one passing here after the ad's dunni work/have an effect.
Depression is self inflicted in non heridatary people and you're telling me it can't be cured? :unsure:

If you start out with that mindset it won't ever be cured or lessened.
Click to expand...

I never said depression can't be cured, I said BPD can't be cured. And realistically, until you've found out a way to consistently control and/or cope with the BPD symptoms, your depression will keep coming back, because the BPD is the cause of the depression. Just like an injury is the cause of pain. The pain isn't going to be "cured" until the injury is dealt with.

Yes, DBT can help a lot of people with BPD. It helps a lot that it was developed by someone with BPD, for their BPD. I did say therapy was one way people can learn to cope with BPD. It never really goes away, though. You're actively using techniques to not let the BPD control you. That's not a cure. You still have BPD at the end of the day.

Also what do you have against the placebo effect? If it makes you feel better, isn't that the most important thing? It sucks that they're dependent on it, but hey, that's a lot of medical issues and that's also just straight up life. The problem here is just that it's not working for them anymore. And you know what? I don't have a solution. BPD is not something with an easy solution. DBT doesn't help everyone, and even the people it does help tend to only be helped by it temporarily. If they haven't tried it, then yes, they should, but this is a drug forum, and they asked about drugs. So my first reply was about drugs.

I don't know why you keep saying I've made claims about depression or hereditary depression and whether they can be cured. I never said anything like that. I said BPD can't be cured and it was silly to say antidepressants "don't work" just because they had to stay on it for years to keep the effect it was giving them. That's not what the work "works" means in this context. To not work, it would have to be completely ineffective. A useless pill that doesn't even make them have the perception that they feel better temporarily.
 
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