Drug Users and Bi Polar/Manic Depression

[MR Candyslut]

So research indicates that people (whether diagnosed or undiagnosed) with manic depression are 30 to 60% more likely to have substance abuse issues and reading this statistic got me interested in how many other Bluelighter's (and therefore presumably drug users) have been diagnosed with manic depression?

Are there any of you out there that want to share your experiences? If so, how are you going with your prescribed medication? How are you going with non-prescribed medication? Are you concerned about any possible harmful interactions between the two? For those who have been diagnosed, how do you think manic depression impacted your drug use/drug abuse?

On a personal level, I was diagnosed with bi polar type 1 about 6 months ago and still haven't started taking what was prescribed (Lithium). I know that probably sounds stupid but I started a really awesome healthy eating//exercising program and up until now have had about 6 months of completely normal, stable mood states! That was, up until the last week where i have a really bad depressive episode.

Anyway, i only share all this because i am going to my GP tomorrow to start lithium (which I have so far been reluctant to do) and I would be really interested to know other B'lighers' experiences with this. Do you take any medication for manic depression? How have you been going on it? Or, have you been diagnosed and, like me, have avoided taking what you have been told to? I am also not sure I trust myself with some of the anti-psychotics my doctor may prescribe (Seroquel) which i used to *love* taking after a big weekend ! So for those who have been prescribed drugs do you have issues not abusing the prescription drugs?

Edit: Oh, and if anyone has been taking Lithium (in particular) and decided to come off it what has been your experience? I know sudden cessation of lithium can bring on a severe manic episode which is another reason why I have been reluctant to start treatment ie long term commitment.

 

[panic in paradise]

i have schizoeffective-bi polar, and was obsessed with cocaine, but besides that and heavy psychedelics i was lethaly attached to alcohol, and downers; marijuana and opioids.

my life made a dramatic on going change for the best with lithium, after being on it a while i became frustrated that i was always treated with anti depression meds, like i had been cheated out of all that peace of mind...

i use marijuana for chronic pain, as well as the least amount of opioids possible. i do take klonopin also, but have not drink in like 19 months. i face and deal with intense life shattering facts of life every morning, no masking, i can not afford that now, i need the facts strength and understanding of the reality of my "life"

it is obvious now that my thoughts were wild, and i was surly using partly in an attempt to shut my brain the hell up! my -emotions- towards sex changed in a major way with lithium, any obsession or addiction i was almost always trying to push away, left to the point where i could think about it when i wanted to, not when ever it jumped in my mind. the same with intrusive, and repetative thoughts.

all that stuff one would try to blockade or control with drugs. i really hope you give the lithium a chance, i take 2000 mg as of the other day, i had been on 1600 and stabilized, i think.... but still i felt the need to bump it up some.

just go get the CBC's done until you have been maintained at an effective therapeutic level,,, then the blood draws will be spaced out pretty far. you will feel the toxicity coming on, its an odd cleaner drunk feeling, slurred speech, blurry vision etc. metallic taste in mouth.

 

[Cloudburst]

It's good to know I'm not alone.

Severe Bipolar I which started appearing around middle school (heard voices along with my depression). It was sneaking up there although I was unaware. High school sent me to hypomania, shaving my hair off and all and dropping out. It was rapid cycling extremely fast for several years from 17-19, in which I got hospitalized 5 times, twice from serious suicide attempts and three times for full blown manic psychosis.

Right now I'm compliant with my medication now that I realize how vulnerable I am. 8 months ago, I went to rehab for polysubstance abuse that had spiraled out of control. Still... I fuck around with drugs here and there but not as badly as I used to - even though poetic justice has it that I post this while coming down on DXM.

 

[MR Candyslut]

^Dude that really sucks .

It's good to know that you are currently on medication though, although i have heard that it can take continual monitoring to get it to the right levels. And, even then, changes may have to be made if relapses start to occur.

And i can completely understand that feeling of vulnerability. You can go on thinking everything is fine, that you can cope and then BAM! something happens and you realise that you actually are dealing with an illness that requires medical attention (ie me crying on and off for most of this week for NO reason) after being completely stable without medication for about 6 months. I guess it just takes some people longer than others (ie me) to realise that medication is necessary.

it is obvious now that my thoughts were wild, and i was surly using partly in an attempt to shut my brain the hell up! my -emotions- towards sex changed in a major way with lithium, any obsession or addiction i was almost always trying to push away, left to the point where i could think about it when i wanted to, not when ever it jumped in my mind. the same with intrusive, and repetative thoughts.

This actually makes Lithium sound good. Everything I have read so far makes it sound so extreme which has been one of the main reasons why I haven't started treatment. That, and just a healthy dose of denial, I guess Although if Lithium did actually help in that way that would be awesome.

 

[Cloudburst]

You hit the nail on the head. Absolutely.

God, I wish Lithium would have worked for me because it was the greatest medication I had ever been prescribed in regards to effectiveness, yet it killed my kidneys. I almost died from that but miraculously recovered once I stopped. Now I'm using a Lamictal regimen as a mood stabilizer.

Bipolar is truly balancing on a fence.

 

[panic in paradise]

it was a massive change, like I said i was mad because i was given way too many meds, and that simple common one never crossed any ones minds. it dumped my cache, and blocked all pop ups and unwanted adds in a major way. a major change for the best in what i think, when i think it, and how those thoughts make me feel, as well as the speed of them.

i would hear anything words or sounds continuously for days.

earth juice earth juice earth juice earth juice rath juice

until i knocked it out of my mind, or went to sleep. it helped with quite a few OCD, and in turn general anxieties as well.

wow cloud burst... that's fucked. was there any reason why you were susceptible to this?
hearing stuff like that would of scared me off, it happens, but i bet the odds are against it.

 

[MR Candyslut]

No seriously, feedback like yours about Lithium is really good to hear. When you research it all you hear about are the risks/dangers (which is obviously important to know) but you don't get to hear first hand from someone who has the same issues* how the medication has positively impacted them.

And Cloudburst also said that Lithium was pretty effective (not withstanding that hideous sounding toxicity thing) so it is pretty interesting to getter a better understanding of how it has helped

* Although i never heard the phrase "earth juice" you crazy man :D

 

[Cloudburst]

My mother had a history of kidney stones. I got Lithium-induced hypothyroidism which had to be medicated all the while I had diabetes insipidus due to Lithium. However I miraculously recovered from it. Otherwise I wouldn't have survived 10 years.

 

[graugeist]

So research indicates that people (whether diagnosed or undiagnosed) with manic depression are 30 to 60% more likely to have substance abuse issues and reading this statistic got me interested in how many other Bluelighter's (and therefore presumably drug users) have been diagnosed with manic depression?

These days, manic depression is almost always referred to as bipolar disorder. I am bipolar and I have done a lot of personal research into the illness. Nearly all of the up-to-date books that I have read concerning bipolar disorder state that substance abuse prevalence in persons with bipolar disorder is as high as 50% to 65%, possibly even higher.

Are there any of you out there that want to share your experiences? If so, how are you going with your prescribed medication? How are you going with non-prescribed medication? Are you concerned about any possible harmful interactions between the two? For those who have been diagnosed, how do you think manic depression impacted your drug use/drug abuse?

I could write a book about my experiences, and I am actually, but that won't be done for a good while. Different people with bipolar disorder tend to experience many of the same things, but the types of symptoms, severity of symptoms, and the rate at which people cycle is unique to the individual. My prescribed medications have been keeping me stable for over two years now. I had tried many different medications since I was diagnosed at age 17 (I am 28 now) and I never really found much success. I am now on Seroquel and Trileptal and I don't even have to deal with any bipolar symptoms. I do not take anything that is not prescribed to me. From my personal experience, from what I have seen happen to other people I know with bipolar disorder, and based on everything that I have learned about bipolar disorder, it is a very bad idea to use drugs (even drinking too much is bad) if you have the illness.

For me, personally, I don't know how my illness played a part in my past drug use. I tried pot a few times from age 18 through 22, maybe once every other year or less, but I never started really experimenting with drugs until I was 24 years old. I was a heavy user of psychedelics, pot, and some other research chemicals until I was 26. From what I can tell, my drug use seemed to trigger depression and mania. It wasn't until I had a very bad depressive episode followed by a tragic manic episode that caused me to lose a lot of things and people I loved that I made the commitment to stop my use.

On a personal level, I was diagnosed with bi polar type 1 about 6 months ago and still haven't started taking what was prescribed (Lithium). I know that probably sounds stupid but I started a really awesome healthy eating//exercising program and up until now have had about 6 months of completely normal, stable mood states! That was, up until the last week where i have a really bad depressive episode.

It is very important that you take your medications as prescribed and keep taking them for the rest of your life. Exercise, healthy diet, and staying away from stressful situations and environments goes a long way, but the medications are necessary to treat the illness. I went off of my medications for a period of four years and I thought that I was doing well. Periods of what are called normal functioning aren't uncommon in bipolar disorder, but ultimately I became depressed and manic again without my medications. I have known many a bipolar friend to stop medications and then suffer the consequences. It took me a long while to realize that I have to stay on my medications, and I'm pretty lucky considering what happened that I had the chance to learn that lesson.

Anyway, i only share all this because i am going to my GP tomorrow to start lithium (which I have so far been reluctant to do) and I would be really interested to know other B'lighers' experiences with this. Do you take any medication for manic depression? How have you been going on it? Or, have you been diagnosed and, like me, have avoided taking what you have been told to? I am also not sure I trust myself with some of the anti-psychotics my doctor may prescribe (Seroquel) which i used to *love* taking after a big weekend ! So for those who have been prescribed drugs do you have issues not abusing the prescription drugs?

As I mentioned earlier, my medications have given me my life back. Not every medication available is going to work for every person with bipolar disorder. Lithium helped me a little when I was on it years ago, but it didn't help me that much. I also gained way too much weight from lithium (and neurontin and depakote). The side effects from lithium were unbearable for me, so I switched to another medication with the help of my psychiatrist. You may end up having to try a lot of different medications and different doses before you find what works best for you. Sometimes you have to accept that, in order to remain stable and function in life, you may need to just suck up and deal with some side effects. With almost every medication I have ever taken, it can take a month or so before the medications will actually start working. The side effects usually go away after a few weeks, but it may take longer. If unbearable side effects do not go away for a long time the it would be time to talk to your psychiatrist about trying something different.

Edit: Oh, and if anyone has been taking Lithium (in particular) and decided to come off it what has been your experience? I know sudden cessation of lithium can bring on a severe manic episode which is another reason why I have been reluctant to start treatment ie long term commitment.

It's a very bad idea to stop any medications on your own. I tapered off of everything when I decided to quit my meds with the help of a psychiatrist. It's a long story, but at the time my treatment team felt it was possible that I didn't need the medications. As I said, it was easy to believe nothing was wrong with me because for several years after that I accomplished a lot in my life considering and I was doing pretty well... or so I thought. Looking back on those four years, I was actually very symptomatic and, although I didn't go full-on depressed or manic, I wasn't doing nearly as well as I thought that I was. Comparing that time to how I have been doing over the last two years on my new medications the difference is night and day.

I recommend checking out some books on bipolar disorder from your library and reading up on your condition. It may be worth it to go out and buy a few books, which I had to do in order to get some of the better ones. Your psychiatrist should be able to recommend you some good books to read.

 

[Kaelfi]

I have been diagnosed with Bi-polar spectrum disorder. I am Bi-polar 3, with Tourettes and ADHD thrown in for fun. I have been on all sorts of medication and hated it all. I never really found any true relief, sort of a truce if you will with the symptoms.

I met my present GF about 8 years ago when she was working for a major pharma corp. She basically told me that most meds today are mind-fuck-soup and showed me papers and studies that will never see the light of the public eye from said pharma corp. She got me using nutraceuticals - nutritional suppliments used to treat various conditions/disorders. My life has never been the same!

Except for my present bit of a problem with drugs, I have been stable and coherent in thought and actions. My "backbone" is fish oil. I use wild pacific salmon oil and lots of it! Most of the research is supressed or under-funded if at all, as big pharma cannot patent nutritional supplements and therefore not make the obscene profits that they are used to. I also use various amino acids depending on what I am experiencing at the time, and for various seasonal variations in my moods and ability to concentrate.

I am not saying to dump your meds and take vitamins, that would be tottaly immoral of me and quite possibly dangerous for you! I am saying that with thorough research and a sane plan of action that you can achieve some amazing results, for me, much better - light years ahead in fact - of what I got from medication.

I get all my supplements from a reputable company online. The prices are vastly less than from my local health food store, and the potency and quality control far superiour. (Abbott labs a few years back bought a couple of supplement brands and since then their quality has gone down the tubes!)

I believe that it is against policy for me to mention in a post the sources I use for suplements so I shall not.

One of the other benefits of the suplement regime that I take is their anti-aging properties. I am 50 years old and no-one believes me when I tell them. On a bad day I look to be about 40, on a good day I have been mistaken for low 30's. Freaks me out every tiome that happens! Even with her illness my GF looks to be in her late 20's on a good day! This despite the fact that she is 46!!! HA! Big pharma be damned.

At any rate I would be more than happy to pass on any starting points for research if I am PM'ed (is this kosher here? if not my apologies and disregard this!) and point anyone towards some great sites that have vast amounts of info on various disorders and how best to deal with them in the least harmfull way possible (my GF used to say that modern meds were akin to swatting flies with hand grenades - we know so very little about brain chemistry!)

Good luck to you!

 

[WSB15]

I am diagnosed with unipolar depression but I might have some mild form of bipolar disorder. It runs in my family, and I've had a few hypomanic episodes, but only when on antidepressants or when doing a lot of drugs. Also have ADD. Low dose Lamictal (50 mg) helped even me out in the past, and helped a close relative with BPII. Currently taking Parnate but I just started it a few days ago so I can't comment on it.

As for lithium, I've worked in the mental health sector and I've seen it work very well. The hard part seems to be finding the right dose, but I've seen some people on it who swear by it--they say it makes a huge difference in their mood stability and that it doesn't make them feel drugged like they do on antipsychotics or some of the anticonvulsants.

 

[captainballs]

i'm bi polar with a prescription to depakote and risperidone, although i also took seroquel for two years by itself. Just detoxed (again, this time in a treatment center) from heavy opiate and benzo use. i can't really objectively describe what it's like other than to say that it hurts all the time. i've noticed that mixing opiates with my current prescription mood stabilizers causes me to become severely depressed, although this is without benzos. it is such a heavy depression that it's difficult to get excited about that opiate taste and rush in the back of my throat, which is a good thing for my wallet.

 

[65daysofstatic]

In talking to drug users online, I'm amazed how many people have diagnosed depression. I think its a case of both the drugs causing the depression and the depression causing the drugs. I personally think people with diagnosed depression abusing chemicals which effect serotonin and dopamine levels significantly is rather ignorant to say the least. that said, I'm increasingly becoming depressed myself, and drugs seem the only fix other than exercise.

I also personally think though that many people are now diagnosed with depression when really they just have low self-esteem/mood that could be solved easily.

 

[unsettled]

I don't know if I'm bipolar or not, I recently went to a psychiatrist (was previously being treated for depression/anxiety by my regular doctor) and she (the psychiatrist) suspects I'm mildly bipolar, that's what she said, I don't know. I don't have insurance at the moment so it's pretty expensive to go to a psychiatrist regularly to get a proper diagnosis. The psychiatrist prescribed me Lamictal and kept me on my Klonopin and Ambien which I've been on for a while. Haven't taken the Lamictal, I can't even afford it at the moment and I'm waiting for a more thorough diagnosis. I don't like anti depressants and I'm skeptical of Lamictal unless it turns out that it is absolutely essential.

At this point in my life I've come to realize that I've almost always used drugs as a way of self medicating depression and anxiety issues. I mean I love getting high but that was always secondary for me, I've used "recreational" drugs the way most people would use their prescribed meds when taking them as prescribed. Currently I'm only taking the rx'd Klonopin and Ambien and I take opiates daily (not prescribed, mostly pods), I take the same amount of all of these most days, even the opiates, and I've been doing better than I have in a while.

I'm afraid to take the mood stabilizers, my job depends on my ability to be creative and I've always accepted the up and down nature of my moods to an extent. I'm not convinced I'm bipolar, when I get health insurance again or if I start to really lose my mind I'll probably search a little harder for the proper treatment as well as the right pdoc, the one I'm seeing right now I don't really like and I think it's essential that you have the right doctor, I get along well with my regular doctor, gonna have to keep looking for a compatible psychiatrist.

I've always struggled with keeping my moods stable I guess, but definitely more so in the last few years. I've also always experimented with my moods quite a bit (with and without drugs), purposely take them to extremes to achieve different states of feeling, I think most creative people do but I realize I'm a little or lot more extreme about it than most people I know. I tend to do well when I stay busy doing what I love to do, so that's what I've been doing and it's been working lately.

 

[Cloudburst]

Lamictal comes in a generic form now, lamotrigine. You should ask for that next time, should be cheaper. Klonopin in and of itself is prescribed as a mood stabilizer also. Ask yourself one thing, which is better, having a job or having bipolar? You seem kinda confused on that and of course I have no way of telling you if you are or not. I was the same way, trying to explore all areas of my mind. Bad decision. Hope things work out well for you.

 

[whitemilk661]

How does marijuana effect you other bipolar people?

I honestly don't know even know if I'd be alive anymore if I never found marijuana.

 

[Cloudburst]

Doesn't give me psychosis at all unless it's "temporary psychosis" from high doses, which I personally just consider tripping. Regardless, it is a godsend. Take what you will from someone who's actually bipolar seeing as the validity of their opinions are probably fogged unless they're in a stable state.

 

[unsettled]

Bipolar or not I have to work, I have to make money to support myself. I work in the music business so it's a weird way to make a living to say the least, I like the weirdness of it though. Besides, I love my job, I play, create, and teach music for a living, there is nothing else I'd rather do. I've never thought of myself as bipolar till my psych brought it up. She never gave me a definite Bipolar diagnosis, her exact words were "you seem mildly bipolar, have you ever tried Lamictal?"

I'm aware that Lamictal comes in generic form but I'm waiting for a more definite diagnosis before I decide to try it out. I'm doing fairly well at the moment. My drug use is pretty minimal these days compared to what it used to be.

 

[Sweet P]

I was misdiagnosed as bipolar type II as a teenager, and put on all kinds of mood stabilisers - lithium, carbamazepine, sodium valproate, and so on. The lithium was especially harmful for me, as my blood levels went toxic a few times and caused problems for my kidneys. I was later correctly diagnosed with borderline personality disorder instead of bipolar (apparently a high percentage of people with borderline personality disorder also have drug and alcohol abuse problems), and put on anti-depressants rather than mood stabilisers.

 

[ahint]

I have bipolar type II, and have refused medication. I instead have weekly therapy sessions.

With my drug use... When I'm manic, yeah, I just feel a craving for anything and everything and will basically take whatever I can get. When I'm depressive I just either crave alcohol, or am too out of it to care about drugs.