Mental Health drug induced psychosis from weed - 4 1/2 years later - Help!

[crem]

[i think i posted this in the wrong forum, sorry for that]

hello,
first of all this is my first time ever that I write in a forum like this. I'm a 30 yo male from germany (please do excuse my bad english) and I am seeking advice. so I would really appreciate it if you take your time and read this post.

I started smoking weed at age 23 (on a regular basis). 3 years later (age 26) I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. the doctor told me it came from smoking weed. this may be true but there were also alot of other things that mattered in my opinion. and some of them the doc didn't know. let me try to sum them up for you:

- me and my dad lived together in an appartment
- my dad got arrested for drug traffic in another country
- I was always worried that they would come for me too or that the police would raid the appartment at any time
- whenever I smoked weed I was afraid that my neighbours could smell it and would call the police
- I mostly smoked alone
- when I went out into the streets after smoking weed I was always scared that people might find out that I was high
-> I was really in a bad mental state and felt weak and unstable as you can tell by now
- sometimes I had to get weed off some shady dealer who probably cut it with something else
- I was often in the netherlands and smoked many different (and strong) strains
- I also smoked some hash in the last week(got it from that shady dealer) since weed was not available
- and I also have to say that I didn't smoke much weed: in the last year it was 1 joint/day (and before that even less)

when I started hearing voices and felt like I was being watched it never came to me that I was sick. I really thought the voices were real - from neighbours etc. so I didn't stop smoking weed. the last week was the worst.
I haven't slept in days and the voices were more frequently and louder. at the end I didn't know what to do. I went into the hallway and smashed the window. the broken glass got the attention of my neighbour and she called the police and ambulance. they immediately told me that I was sick and that I'm in need of medical attention. so I went to the clinic..
once there i got all kinds of meds to calm me down and get rid of the symptoms. two weeks later I left the clinic.

until now - 4 1/2 years later - I always took my meds and I didn't smoke weed once even though it was really REALLY tough for me.. (especially in the last 2 years since my new girlfriend smokes weed). but I was symptom-free.

I really do want to smoke weed again (only on weekends) but I don't know what to do. my doc told me that smoking weed would ensure that the psychosis would come back again - and not only that - it would be worse than before and even decrease my intelligence.
but my situation completely changed:
- I've got a girlfriend
- I wouldn't smoke alone
- I finished school
- I started boxing
- I do feel mentally (and physically) strong and good (!)
- I have no negative feelings that overweigh
- I don't give a sh*t what anybody thinks about me or if anybody would know that I would be smoking weed
- [...]

what would you guys do? did anybody experience anything similar? and if I decide to smoke again (only on weekends) - would there be some sort of problems because of my meds?

after I left the clinic I took 3 kinds of meds:
Abilify - the neuroleptic drug against the psychosis
Akineton - something against parkinson disease (I took it because of some side effects of abilify)
Trimipramin - antidepressant

today I'm currently only on Abilify (15mg/day).

I hope you guys can help me out. Thanks

crem

 

[Moreaux]

Hi crem -

It sounds like you've been through a lot, but your life has really turned around and you have a lot of good stuff going for you now. I think the biggest question you should ask yourself is if getting high is worth potentially losing everything you have now? It's known that marijuana can make some schizoaffective disorders worse. Is it possible that you have a mild schizoaffective disorder, that when sober seems to lie dormant, but when consuming heavy amounts of thc it gets worse? I too have been a very heavy pot smoker, all day, everyday for several years. I went through some extreme stress, and though very stressed, I've never heard voices. Granted, thc affects everyone differently. I know if I worked to get my life back in order, personally, I wouldn't take the risk. It's a gamble, and I think before you act you should weigh the possible consequences. Please don't think that I am antidrug or anti marijuana because I'm not. I live in the USA, and I think marijuana may become legal in my state within the next few years and I have been pondering the question of whether I will start smoking again once it's legalized, and I can't say for certain. It's a really tough and personal decision, and I think one has to soberly consider both the positives and the negatives (and possible negatives) of getting high. If you do that and feel the positives outweigh the negatives, and you are prepared to deal with the negatives, then go for it!

Do me a favour if you can, update this post and let us know what you decide and how it worked out for you. Good luck!

 

[Airmid]

Hello crem, this is a long but brave post. Due to the medications you are currently on I would advise caution in doing anythingelse at this moment in time. It's not clear to me, do you still have the same Dr you had originaly? was this a psychiatrist who fully assessed your mental health condition, diagnosed and put you on these medications. If you feel that your life has improved now, might it be not be sensible, if you are able, to seek a second professional assessment from a different Dr/psychiatrist of your mental health. I feel that doing this before experimenting in the aftermath of what sounds like an exceedingly volatile situation would be safer and could also change your life even further for the better. A different consult and approach could mean a greater comfort and confidence in your inner self. When in the grip of an actual crisis wrong medical conclusions can be made. Second opinion wouldn't hurt would it?

Wishing you well, by the way your english is better than a lot of the english

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

Hey,

Sounds like you've been through a lot of shit. You've made it this far, so there's no reason why you might backtrack so long as you follow your doctor's recommendations.

Weed will make things worse. How much? No one knows. But it pretty clearly causes people with psychotic disorders to have a significant increase in hallucinations, delusions, and the like. Basically all of the recent research suggests so.

I'm going to make an educated guess here. When you continued to smoke weed despite becoming psychotic and very afraid after you smoked it, what were you thinking before you smoked? Was it along the same "I'm fine, I ahve a clear head now, it will be harmless fun" sort of thing. Because if so, it sounds like you may be doing it again.

Girlfriends are fine (or at least should be, I've had some wild ones), but they're no antidote for established psychosis. Smoking with someone else may help...may. But it's not going to bring back that wonderful head-space of your first few times. Again, no anti-psychotic. While psychotic disorders draw a lot on the confusion of isolation to form and afflict someone, most often a schizophrenic simply being around another person when faced with a potential psychotic episode will not clear everything up. Chronic (long-term and frequent) exposure to other people is another story. But one cannot heal if they don't have the proper medicine. And that medicine (the anti-psychotic) cannot work nearly so well if it's fighting against THC for control of your reality.

School and boxing are great ego-boosters. You should feel accomplished. But just the same as other people, they will probably not save you if THC is ripping apart your sanity.

And to keep feeling good, persevere! An athlete doesn't become strong in a day, and they swear off junk-food because they want to maximize their talents. Think of the junk food and THC as similar in this metaphor.

Under the influence of THC, people change drastically. What you may have thought was unimportant, suddenly becomes very interesting. There's hardly any value in comparing a sober mindstate to a stoned one. You'll have no idea exactly how you'll feel until the THC acts upon your brain. Then, I wager, you'll be sorry you did it.

Again, your abilify will not work if you use pot. You'll be paying for little more than a placebo. Stick to the healthy choices, man.