-
-
SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
Dont want relationships
- Thread starter Asclepius
- Start date
I've debated that quite a lot before I met my current partners, I've actually always very strongly suspected I may be aromantic or have schizoid traits.
My behavior seems to contradict that with having two romantic partners and a long history of romantic relationships but the interesting bit is that despite my desire to be in relationships I often find them uncomfortable. I don't experience love in the traditional sense, I can't feel it, so intimacy and expressions of affection feel forced to me.
I've grown to see love simply as the equivalent of seeing a person and finding them interesting/not a waste of energy. What bumps someone up from friendship for me is whether or not I could tolerate living with them for the rest of my life. I recognize that's probably very far off of most people's perception of love but it's how my brain works and I'm not sure I can change that.
I've come to the conclusion that there is benefit to relationships as long as they're with someone who understands that my brain is kinda fucked. There is significant benefit in having someone to split living costs with and in having someone who will reliably be there for me when I need attention or support. It does take work on my part to make sure their own needs are met but I prefer it over being alone.
To each their own though, I don't think relationships are necessary for everyone and I'm sure other people may actually be happier without them. They are a lot of work even for someone who isn't like me, you have to be prepared to handle conflict in an emotionally mature manner and to work as a team instead of an individual sometimes. It's up to you to decide if your relationships benefit you enough to be worth that.
As for whether they function long term, I don't really know. My longest was about two years but that was an incredibly toxic situation for both me and my partner. My current relationships are going on 10 months and 8 months but are both very healthy. I do think some relationships function long term, but I also don't think they have to. The benefit of being with another person isn't necessarily negated if later you decide the relationship no longer serves both of you. It still benefited you in the past so at that point choosing to move on won't change the fact you got something from it.
My behavior seems to contradict that with having two romantic partners and a long history of romantic relationships but the interesting bit is that despite my desire to be in relationships I often find them uncomfortable. I don't experience love in the traditional sense, I can't feel it, so intimacy and expressions of affection feel forced to me.
I've grown to see love simply as the equivalent of seeing a person and finding them interesting/not a waste of energy. What bumps someone up from friendship for me is whether or not I could tolerate living with them for the rest of my life. I recognize that's probably very far off of most people's perception of love but it's how my brain works and I'm not sure I can change that.
I've come to the conclusion that there is benefit to relationships as long as they're with someone who understands that my brain is kinda fucked. There is significant benefit in having someone to split living costs with and in having someone who will reliably be there for me when I need attention or support. It does take work on my part to make sure their own needs are met but I prefer it over being alone.
To each their own though, I don't think relationships are necessary for everyone and I'm sure other people may actually be happier without them. They are a lot of work even for someone who isn't like me, you have to be prepared to handle conflict in an emotionally mature manner and to work as a team instead of an individual sometimes. It's up to you to decide if your relationships benefit you enough to be worth that.
As for whether they function long term, I don't really know. My longest was about two years but that was an incredibly toxic situation for both me and my partner. My current relationships are going on 10 months and 8 months but are both very healthy. I do think some relationships function long term, but I also don't think they have to. The benefit of being with another person isn't necessarily negated if later you decide the relationship no longer serves both of you. It still benefited you in the past so at that point choosing to move on won't change the fact you got something from it.
starting_over
Bluelighter
Why bother getting married when you are basically flipping a coin? I have terrible luck so my odds are probably more like 85% divorce. Even worse, family law here states that if you're living together in a common law 'marriage like relationship' for 2+ years, your partner can take you to court and win $$$ if you split up, excluding pre-relationship inheritances, property, etc. It's unbelievable! Divorce courts tend to favour women as well, I'm already at a disadvantage.
People change... my personality might change, hers might change, life circumstances change... my parents are divorced and this probably has impacted my thinking.
And raising kids are expensive! Lord knows I've put my mother through enough grief already. You raise your kids to the best of your ability, and still there is no guarantee they will do well for themselves. Sometimes I think all parents should have 2 or more kids, simply as a way to hedge their bets... maybe one dies early due to sickness, is imprisoned long-term, develops mental illness, moves away and never talks to you again, more instances of being visited and financially supported by your kids in old age, (hopefully) the satisfaction of raising children and having grandchildren, etc etc
I'm very introverted and like being single anyway, relationships are too messy. I'm rambling here.... kudos to those who can make it work
People change... my personality might change, hers might change, life circumstances change... my parents are divorced and this probably has impacted my thinking.
And raising kids are expensive! Lord knows I've put my mother through enough grief already. You raise your kids to the best of your ability, and still there is no guarantee they will do well for themselves. Sometimes I think all parents should have 2 or more kids, simply as a way to hedge their bets... maybe one dies early due to sickness, is imprisoned long-term, develops mental illness, moves away and never talks to you again, more instances of being visited and financially supported by your kids in old age, (hopefully) the satisfaction of raising children and having grandchildren, etc etc
I'm very introverted and like being single anyway, relationships are too messy. I'm rambling here.... kudos to those who can make it work
szuko000
Bluelight Crew
Personally I am happier with less social interaction. I dont want to have many friends and the ones that i do have i dont see often because I actually prefer to be alone. I've been in 2 fruitful long term relationships and they did not damage my view of them it just seems really unneeded. The only use is that you get someone to share responsibility and cost with. I dont really need people for validation or companionship and often judge people harshly as not being in line with my goals, this is why i have few friends.
I do not want a relationship as it seems like a lot of work for no reward. I would like casual hook ups but i havent even tried there yet, I dont mind this part of my life and i very much enjoy the comfort of my solidarity.
I do not want a relationship as it seems like a lot of work for no reward. I would like casual hook ups but i havent even tried there yet, I dont mind this part of my life and i very much enjoy the comfort of my solidarity.
'Women - Can't live with them, can't live without them.'
I find that particular phrase to be a fairly accurate representation of the state of play between the sexes, from a male point of view of course. Been in a couple of relationships, though I wouldn't call any of them meaningful. Fun was had, memories made, but in the end they all still felt a bit hollow. This is something I've been contemplating on recently, brought about by reading quite an old and controversial book on feminism and the relationship between the sexes (Sexual Suicide, by Gilder '73). I'm beginning to think the view espoused in that book, which is fairly traditional and conservative, is in fact the optimal state of play for a man to find himself in; a man locked into the cycles of female sexuality, in terms of one partner, raising and providing for children.. but this only works when the woman is in her element too, and not competing against the man or trying to be a man. Team play and cooperation. Of course the marriage between feminism and the corporate nation state has all but dismantled that social convention/nuclear family.. it's "out-dated, restrictive, sexist..".
Personally relationships with modern women just do not feel that appealing to me. It's seems to be based around the short-term male sexual strategy, which makes for great fun initially but leads to dissatisfaction and unhappiness in the long run I believe, especially for women. Paired with the damaged convention of marriage, no fault-divorce, two salary households/child care (what the hell were we thinking?!), the fact no one seems to care about trying to work out difficulties anymore, and many other issues.. the incentive for me just isn't there. Why bother? I enjoy my own time reading, trying to learn more about myself and the world, than spending what little money and time I have on a woman who doesn't even behave like a woman and isn't sure what the hell she wants.
Unfortunately nature has the master-key to my brain and it's impossible to lock it out. It keeps getting in there and urging me towards baby making. Paradoxically even though my relationships haven't been meaningful as such, the times when I had a regular sexual outlet and team-work/companionship were the times when I wasn't unhappy. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't unhappy. It's quite obvious that male sexual energy has to go somewhere, and the optimal place for it I believe is in long-term partnerships.
I find that particular phrase to be a fairly accurate representation of the state of play between the sexes, from a male point of view of course. Been in a couple of relationships, though I wouldn't call any of them meaningful. Fun was had, memories made, but in the end they all still felt a bit hollow. This is something I've been contemplating on recently, brought about by reading quite an old and controversial book on feminism and the relationship between the sexes (Sexual Suicide, by Gilder '73). I'm beginning to think the view espoused in that book, which is fairly traditional and conservative, is in fact the optimal state of play for a man to find himself in; a man locked into the cycles of female sexuality, in terms of one partner, raising and providing for children.. but this only works when the woman is in her element too, and not competing against the man or trying to be a man. Team play and cooperation. Of course the marriage between feminism and the corporate nation state has all but dismantled that social convention/nuclear family.. it's "out-dated, restrictive, sexist..".
Personally relationships with modern women just do not feel that appealing to me. It's seems to be based around the short-term male sexual strategy, which makes for great fun initially but leads to dissatisfaction and unhappiness in the long run I believe, especially for women. Paired with the damaged convention of marriage, no fault-divorce, two salary households/child care (what the hell were we thinking?!), the fact no one seems to care about trying to work out difficulties anymore, and many other issues.. the incentive for me just isn't there. Why bother? I enjoy my own time reading, trying to learn more about myself and the world, than spending what little money and time I have on a woman who doesn't even behave like a woman and isn't sure what the hell she wants.
Unfortunately nature has the master-key to my brain and it's impossible to lock it out. It keeps getting in there and urging me towards baby making. Paradoxically even though my relationships haven't been meaningful as such, the times when I had a regular sexual outlet and team-work/companionship were the times when I wasn't unhappy. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't unhappy. It's quite obvious that male sexual energy has to go somewhere, and the optimal place for it I believe is in long-term partnerships.
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
I would say that relationships are not necessary, but that a lot of people want them, for various reasons. I also think that relationships can be among the most unhealthy things in a person's life, if they're the wrong one. A lot of the time people keep entering relationships that are doomed to fail because they are attracted to a certain thing(s) that are bad for their personality, and it becomes toxic. Or, they have neuroses of some sort that they are unable to deal with and instead put unfair pressures on or become emotionally abusive towards their partner, which causes it to become toxic as well. My first adult relationship was very toxic, she was emotionally abusive and was slowly descending into mental illness (didn't realize for most of that time), it lasted 12 years and resulted in marriage for the last 6 years. It was bad for me to the point that I was addicted to opiates to hide from the pain, and I felt like I wasn't even living, I wished I could die. Worst influence anything has ever had on my life. I see a lot of people in relationships, friends, family, etc who slowly end up miserable because it's not working and they can't let go. I mean that's what happened to me too. I really didn't want a relationship for a while after that finally ended.
But, now I've been with someone for almost 3 years who is a good fit, and it's like night and day. We've never had a fight or held each other back, she brings a lot of love into my life and she's my really good friend too, we're there for each other, we do fun stuff, we don't live together and we don't see ourselves as a unit, we have our own lives but really like having each other in them. It really brings me nothing but happiness. We are monogamous because we both just feel that way, I wish sometimes I could have some random cool sexual encounters, like at a music festival or something. But since I don't like the thought of her having sex with someone else, and she doesn't like the thought of me having sex with someone else, we don't do that. And that's cool because we have a great sex life. It's an acceptable loss to me. Plus there is something about the intimacy of monogamy that I really like, I think it only appeals to some people though.
Marriage is a whole other thing, I was married but I have no plans to get married again in the future (nor does my girlfriend), because marriage seems silly to me, it's like, you can't promise someone you'll love them forever, because you can't know that. People grow and change, no reason to get the government involved in your relationship. It makes splitting up a lot more difficult. I believe my partner and I will always love each other and the relationship will stay positive for us, but if that changes I want to be free to accept that and move on. And it certainly could change, a lifetime is a long time and everyone is always changing throughout it.
But, now I've been with someone for almost 3 years who is a good fit, and it's like night and day. We've never had a fight or held each other back, she brings a lot of love into my life and she's my really good friend too, we're there for each other, we do fun stuff, we don't live together and we don't see ourselves as a unit, we have our own lives but really like having each other in them. It really brings me nothing but happiness. We are monogamous because we both just feel that way, I wish sometimes I could have some random cool sexual encounters, like at a music festival or something. But since I don't like the thought of her having sex with someone else, and she doesn't like the thought of me having sex with someone else, we don't do that. And that's cool because we have a great sex life. It's an acceptable loss to me. Plus there is something about the intimacy of monogamy that I really like, I think it only appeals to some people though.
Marriage is a whole other thing, I was married but I have no plans to get married again in the future (nor does my girlfriend), because marriage seems silly to me, it's like, you can't promise someone you'll love them forever, because you can't know that. People grow and change, no reason to get the government involved in your relationship. It makes splitting up a lot more difficult. I believe my partner and I will always love each other and the relationship will stay positive for us, but if that changes I want to be free to accept that and move on. And it certainly could change, a lifetime is a long time and everyone is always changing throughout it.
CoastTwoCoast
Bluelighter
I don't want a relationship. I was in one for many years and it was draining. He was very family oriented so I was always expected to attend every get-together. Tiring. It was nice at first, but it became toxic. I realized more and more I didn't want to deal with him or his family.
Never understood why people get married or even reproduce.
Never understood why people get married or even reproduce.
CoastTwoCoast
Bluelighter
Basically. Even when I dated a guy who I was crazy about, I still needed my space. He would say "I wish I could see you more.", but as an introvert, I don't want to constantly be around someone.
If I ever decided to get into a relationship, it would have to be with someone who understands these things. I'm perfectly fine being single. People are a headache. lol
augustaB
Bluelighter
Married people tend to live longer. The effect is more pronounced for males than females.
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
I think it's likely that the effect is from being in a successful long-term relationship, rather than the institution of marriage being the actual factor. I would guess that people in bad marriages or long-term relationships live shorter because chronic stress shortens your life.
Sometimes bitterness can help you soldier on. You know, so you get to be the last one standing
szuko000
Bluelight Crew
Seattle_Stranger
Bluelighter
Simply sounds like OP has never truly been in love, that's all.
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
Meth can do the same
https://www.documentingreality.com/...ach-open-pulls-intestines-out-pictures-27853/
https://www.documentingreality.com/...ach-open-pulls-intestines-out-pictures-27853/
Last edited by a moderator:
^^
That's debatable but believe I have been 'in love' or felt that way, in the past. However, my perspective has changed now.
Exactly, it is a huge gamble and there are many diverse factors that come into play, imo.
This is fantastic. Glad you have found out what works for you both. Sounds really balanced.
This sounds like more of a business relationship. Utility obviously does come into play but this focus being the sole purpose of a relationship, is what turns me off relationships (the concept of marriage was founded on this principle). It is like having a relationship with an insurance broker.
See this is the problem, 'rest of my life'. People and their wants, needs and desires are not fixed - these elements change constantly, peoples' identities change over time. Making such a commitment involves commiting to 'the commitment' over commiting to another individual. It appears to be more about commiting to your own principles than to another person, from what I can determine.
Reproductive instincts being the core of relationships and being bio-chemically driven to seek this out is simple and yet some of us get attached to someone; even when the desire to reproduce with them has waned ( possibly to do with childrearing - even if a child isnt present), or want to move on and find someone better/new.
Is attachment the main bond that keeps people together and is this not what fuels the resentment of feeling 'stuck' in a relationship - the situation that leads to power struggles, in the long-term - or is this just a necessity relating to basic emotional security, to a basic survival instinct?
Healthwise, there is much evidence that sex and emotional support improve peoples wellbeing but these in themselves are addictive and need constant evaluation. People also have the ability to spiritually (because physical murder is forbidden) destroy each other - which is always a tad, concerning.![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
I do admire people who hold relationships together and also those who are content to be alone.
I must admit that society's idealisation of lone-wolfs and indefinitely loved-up, relationships are both, ridiculously insane imho - neither are easy, nor romantic or sustainable.
Always liked this in theory but very draining, in practice. I've experienced feeling like a spare tool at these things, also.
Noonoo: gutwrenching, indeed.
_______________________________________________
Really gleaned much from this thread, thanks for all contributions. There is that difficult combination of substance and function to contend with.
Like most facets of living, relationships are hugely paradoxical.
That's debatable but believe I have been 'in love' or felt that way, in the past. However, my perspective has changed now.
Exactly, it is a huge gamble and there are many diverse factors that come into play, imo.
This is fantastic. Glad you have found out what works for you both. Sounds really balanced.
This sounds like more of a business relationship. Utility obviously does come into play but this focus being the sole purpose of a relationship, is what turns me off relationships (the concept of marriage was founded on this principle). It is like having a relationship with an insurance broker.
See this is the problem, 'rest of my life'. People and their wants, needs and desires are not fixed - these elements change constantly, peoples' identities change over time. Making such a commitment involves commiting to 'the commitment' over commiting to another individual. It appears to be more about commiting to your own principles than to another person, from what I can determine.
Reproductive instincts being the core of relationships and being bio-chemically driven to seek this out is simple and yet some of us get attached to someone; even when the desire to reproduce with them has waned ( possibly to do with childrearing - even if a child isnt present), or want to move on and find someone better/new.
Is attachment the main bond that keeps people together and is this not what fuels the resentment of feeling 'stuck' in a relationship - the situation that leads to power struggles, in the long-term - or is this just a necessity relating to basic emotional security, to a basic survival instinct?
Healthwise, there is much evidence that sex and emotional support improve peoples wellbeing but these in themselves are addictive and need constant evaluation. People also have the ability to spiritually (because physical murder is forbidden) destroy each other - which is always a tad, concerning.
I do admire people who hold relationships together and also those who are content to be alone.
I must admit that society's idealisation of lone-wolfs and indefinitely loved-up, relationships are both, ridiculously insane imho - neither are easy, nor romantic or sustainable.
Always liked this in theory but very draining, in practice. I've experienced feeling like a spare tool at these things, also.
Noonoo: gutwrenching, indeed.
_______________________________________________
Really gleaned much from this thread, thanks for all contributions. There is that difficult combination of substance and function to contend with.
Like most facets of living, relationships are hugely paradoxical.
Last edited:
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
^^
That's debatable but believe I have been 'in love' or felt that way, in the past. However, my perspective has changed now.
Exactly, it is a huge gamble and there are many diverse factors that come into play, imo.
This is fantastic. Glad you have found out what works for you both. Sounds really balanced.
This sounds like more of a business relationship. Utility obviously does come into play but this focus being the sole purpose of a relationship, is what turns me off relationships (the concept of marriage was founded on this principle). It is like having a relationship with an insurance broker.
See this is the problem, 'rest of my life'. People and their wants, needs and desires are not fixed - these elements change constantly, peoples' identities change over time. Making such a commitment involves commiting to 'the commitment' over commiting to another individual. It appears to be more about commiting to your own principles than to another person, from what I can determine.
Reproductive instincts being the core of relationships and being bio-chemically driven to seek this out is simple and yet some of us get attached to someone; even when the desire to reproduce with them has waned ( possibly to do with childrearing - even if a child isnt present), or want to move on and find someone better/new.
Is attachment the main bond that keeps people together and is this not what fuels the resentment of feeling 'stuck' in a relationship - the situation that leads to power struggles, in the long-term - or is this just a necessity relating to basic emotional security, to a basic survival instinct?
Healthwise, there is much evidence that sex and emotional support improve peoples wellbeing but these in themselves are addictive and need constant evaluation. People also have the ability to spiritually (because physical murder is forbidden) destroy each other - which is always a tad, concerning.
I do admire people who hold relationships together and also those who are content to be alone.
I must admit that society's idealisation of lone-wolfs and indefinitely loved-up, relationships are both, ridiculously insane imho - neither are easy, nor romantic or sustainable.
Always liked this in theory but very draining, in practice. I've experienced feeling like a spare tool at these things, also.
Noonoo: gutwrenching, indeed.
_______________________________________________
Really gleaned much from this thread, thanks for all contributions. There is that difficult combination of substance and function to contend with.
Like most facets of living, relationships are hugely paradoxical.
I posted in the wrong section. Sorry had multiple browsers open.
malakaix
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2008
- Messages
- 3,054
I think this is the only way it's going to work for me.
It's the boring everyday details of living together that erodes the fun and charm of being together in a relationship. I can spend an entire day online reading, listening to music or gaming. I am fucking boring to be around for someone that wants attention, however if our time together is scheduled because we live apart then it means when I'm with her and she's with me we are 100% focused on each other. Afterwards we can return to our own introverted lives.
I haven't had that many long-term relationships but they all went to shit, fast, when we moved in together.
Last edited:
llama112
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2010
- Messages
- 4,468
I lived with my partner for five years fairly successfully (until the last year). But we are young still, mid 20s, so personality changes when you move in with someone at age 21.
But we lived well together. Both being introverts, we were able to do our own thing. And schedule time to spend time together.
I hope I can find that again because I do like having someone there every night. It's comforting.
But we lived well together. Both being introverts, we were able to do our own thing. And schedule time to spend time together.
I hope I can find that again because I do like having someone there every night. It's comforting.
Foreigner
Bluelighter
I'm a man and I've only ever been in relationships with men. I'm not gay. I don't relate to "gay". I don't like what "gay" is in the western world. I see things more like how the non-western countries do... without labels. The ideal relationship model according to the gay world is not suitable for me. It's part and parcel with the narcissistic, sociopathic relationship model that is now pitched in the modern world.
I too have become bitter. Most of my relationships are not lasting because people don't have enough self-awareness to do relationship practices beyond the lust phase. It's about what you can get without trying, and once you have to try you move on to the next desire. I believe this is universal, it's not just a man/man thing.
I am so, so tired of the so-called polyamorous culture I'm seeing. It's toxic. It rarely ever ends well. It dilutes people's energy across many people and there's no containment. I am not necessarily in favor of 100% monogamy forever, but I believe in loyalty, accountability, commitment and compromise. I have stopped sharing this view with people because every time I do, liberally minded people call me possessive, or start ranting about marriage is a sham. It seems like people are either too lazy or too self-preoccupied to truly negotiate relationships anymore. The word "monogamy" makes people's heads spin. It's in vogue to hate the traditional way of life; and although I don't think the traditional life was all hunky dory, I think there's some truth in it. We have just become too bourgeoisie to recognize it.
Humans have blown security out the window while telling themselves that it's part of what being free and individual means. I don't like going downtown anymore because the rampant individualism on display sickens me. I'm a liberally minded person in most cases and quite live and let live. What I am seeing is so selfish, so out of touch with reality, so "plugged in", that I am worried for the future of our civilization. This has led to a myriad of highly dysfunctional and sociopathic behaviors in our society. It's not like human psychology or our genome has suddenly changed in the last 60 years of consumer capitalism. We are still being driven by those same impulses, they are just now being channeled into artifice and delusional ideology.
I've given up on having normal relationships. The second I call someone boyfriend or partner, they run for the hills, even though all the ingredients are there. I don't know where people's heads are at anymore. Certainly not in their hearts. Like others in this thread, I have taken the struggle inward and worked on progressing myself. But I am finding, with time, that a life unshared just isn't the same. I don't need someone else to complete me. I don't need a "better half". I just don't want to be alone forever. I have felt joy, love and expansiveness through my relationships. My lament is that they never have any staying power. Previously it was due to my relationship patterns and choices of partners. Now I see it's very much a modern cultural problem.
Ever notice how everyone is complaining about how hard it is to date these days, yet everyone espouses the same divisive ideologies that are causing the mating game to be futile? Yeah... we are fucked up.
I too have become bitter. Most of my relationships are not lasting because people don't have enough self-awareness to do relationship practices beyond the lust phase. It's about what you can get without trying, and once you have to try you move on to the next desire. I believe this is universal, it's not just a man/man thing.
I am so, so tired of the so-called polyamorous culture I'm seeing. It's toxic. It rarely ever ends well. It dilutes people's energy across many people and there's no containment. I am not necessarily in favor of 100% monogamy forever, but I believe in loyalty, accountability, commitment and compromise. I have stopped sharing this view with people because every time I do, liberally minded people call me possessive, or start ranting about marriage is a sham. It seems like people are either too lazy or too self-preoccupied to truly negotiate relationships anymore. The word "monogamy" makes people's heads spin. It's in vogue to hate the traditional way of life; and although I don't think the traditional life was all hunky dory, I think there's some truth in it. We have just become too bourgeoisie to recognize it.
Humans have blown security out the window while telling themselves that it's part of what being free and individual means. I don't like going downtown anymore because the rampant individualism on display sickens me. I'm a liberally minded person in most cases and quite live and let live. What I am seeing is so selfish, so out of touch with reality, so "plugged in", that I am worried for the future of our civilization. This has led to a myriad of highly dysfunctional and sociopathic behaviors in our society. It's not like human psychology or our genome has suddenly changed in the last 60 years of consumer capitalism. We are still being driven by those same impulses, they are just now being channeled into artifice and delusional ideology.
I've given up on having normal relationships. The second I call someone boyfriend or partner, they run for the hills, even though all the ingredients are there. I don't know where people's heads are at anymore. Certainly not in their hearts. Like others in this thread, I have taken the struggle inward and worked on progressing myself. But I am finding, with time, that a life unshared just isn't the same. I don't need someone else to complete me. I don't need a "better half". I just don't want to be alone forever. I have felt joy, love and expansiveness through my relationships. My lament is that they never have any staying power. Previously it was due to my relationship patterns and choices of partners. Now I see it's very much a modern cultural problem.
Ever notice how everyone is complaining about how hard it is to date these days, yet everyone espouses the same divisive ideologies that are causing the mating game to be futile? Yeah... we are fucked up.
CoastTwoCoast
Bluelighter
We think the same we should get married and reproduce!
It's true. We do think alike. Maybe we could work something out. Haha