Don't feel attractive enough for boyfriend sometimes

[warpaint]

my bf and i have been dating for over a year now and have been living together for maybe 7-8 months now. we get along well, have great sex and communicate with each other. he tells me im cute or sexy but sometimes i just feel like im "meh" around him. but the thing is, i don't feel this way about myself with most other people or when i am alone. in fact i think i feel most beautiful when i am alone. the reason why i feel meh sometimes with my boyfriend is because he's the kinda guy who can be easily distracted by attractive girls, or even just girls who put it all out there. ive only been with one other guy before him and i never felt insecure about my looks with him and i think it's because he was more mature when it came to girls or what he looked for in a girl, he wasnt the type to check out girls very often and it would take a lot more than looks to get his attention. i know my bf wouldnt cheat on me and ive talked to him abt me feeling insecure when he blatantly checks girls out. i know he loves me and i believe him when he says he doesnt get along with other girls the way he gets along with me. and yet i still have this fear that he could easily overlook what we have if some hot girl is around. for example we used to work together and for a few weeks, there was a new girl who was very attractive. i noticed how my bf would just gawk or not even be able to talk/function properly and despite feeling a little jealous, it was a little sad to see.

anyways, i secretly try to look my best around him most of the time and sometimes that doesnt feel right. i just want to feel comfortable in anything, no makeup, no cute outfits. but i havent allowed myself to bare myself that way very often because i fear of being judged, or if we're out, i fear of his eyes wandering. yet either way, i dont feel that much attractive arond him if i doll up. so i dont know what to do. what can i do to feel better about myself aorund him?

 

[iheartthisthread]

He's with you because he found you attractive. Without knowing more, I'm guessing he still finds you attractive. Some guys do like to look. Don't let that make you feel less attractive.

There is a no makeup thread you could post in, in the lounge if you want others opinion.

 

[CymbalKid]

You really shouldn't be insecure about yourself. Your boyfriend seems like he does think you're attractive even though he checks out other girls. Most guys check other girls out so try not to let it bother you so much

 

[Beachcat]

The problem is, your own insecurity might come back to hurt you..I really think that insecurity about looks is a huge turn off. Right now, your boyfriend finds you attractive, but looks at other girls. My husband looks, too, and sometimes comments, but I know that I am awesome so I don't care. Let him look.

But i think when even the most gorgeous girl is insecure about her looks, it comes through in the way she acts and sometimes guys get really tired of it.

You are more than your looks...you are a personality, spirit, friend, lover,etc...a whole package. That is why he is with you. If you don't believe, then live it until you do.

 

[RobotRipping]

yeah the insecurity about looks is pretty annoying to a guy. Just accept that he finds you attractive, i hate having to give constant affirmation to my GF. Yeah i'll stare with my jaw wide open at the hottest girl i've seen in months but who cares? It's not like i have a shot with them anyway lol. It's not a big deal and is only natural that guys will appreciate. that perfect symmetry found rarely in humanity. A woman with amazing looks and in high power positions - now that's dangerous.

one time a girl who was way up in upper management came to my shitty little factory to check things out and not a single guy could stop staring at her! lol and jesus christ if she had any interest in me i'd sell everything i have, change my identity and never tell anyone i left, perhaps even fake my death. Luckily though, that's impossible and perhaps part of what makes the attraction so strong.

 

[llama112]

A lot of people are insecure and it's okay sometimes. But you say you don't feel like this when you're alone and you didn't feel this way with your ex. Yes, obviously your boyfriend does find you attractive but I think he just needs to show you more. Just have a chat with him and let him know your feelings! Sometimes, after you've been with a person for a while, you stop complimenting each other and making each other feel loved/attractive/etc. Maybe he just needs to keep doing that. Have a chat with him and explain it

 

[Alikat]

I felt very insecure around my bf at first. And not because he didn't make me feel beautiful... I just cldnt believe he chose ME! He is a very attractive 24 yr old and I am a 30 yr old divorced mother of 2. He was very persistent and finally I agreed to date him. After awhile tho, my insecurities started to nag at our relationship. I was very guarded n never really comfortable or myself. So we had a long talk about it, and hearing the reasons why he loved me were so much more than skin deep, but also that he thought I was beautiful fixed it. He made a point to compliment me more and I have more confidence now than I've ever had in my life
Point is: your bf is attracted to you. Us girls get insecure easy but it does wear on a man after awhile. Talk to him about it. Let your guard down, show him the you that wakes up in the morning, the you that screams at bugs, snorts when they laugh, lol whatever the all natural you is. These little things bring you closer. And if he cares he will put your worries to rest.