Doing what has to be done when everything is falling down around you.....

[somnilicious]

I'm on probation in another county. I just picked up another charge. I lost my job to try and kick my habit. I picked up another gig on Friday but I will be withdrawing. I have no choice to just sit around and kick. I am so anxious because everything is up in the air. I will have to face the charges in two jurisdictions... I will either be court ordered to treatment, jail or drug court. I will probably be losing my license. I'm a 38 year old addict and I refuse to give up. I will be employing all the tools at my disposal... anonymous meetings, exercise, healthy diet, faith, meditation and prayer. I was hoping that some people would share difficult life circumstances and tools that they used to deal with the anxiety, stress and lack of motivation. Hopefully some bluelighters have some difficult circumstances that became the turning point they needed in recovery. Anybody have an "it's always darkest just before the dawn story"?

 

[sonicwhite]

If you want to know more about my faith PM me

 

[somnilicious]

Will do Sonic... Could one of the mods please edit my title to have "when" instead of with. I can't seem to correct the mistake. My mind is such a mess right now. Everything is difficult...lol

 

[NumbBrain]

I am where you're at and have been for almost 6 months.
Truth be told this post is probably hurting more than helping.
I have no motivation to do anything I have lost any trace of social skills I once had. I lost almost all of my friends. I was at 150-160lbs 5'7. Now I have gone over 200lbs. I have anxiety everyday, I can't sleep unless I am drinking.
The only relief I have had at all have been antidepressants. And they don't help me shake hardly any of the anxiety.

It's a dark pit here at the bottom. The only thing I think of is getting high and forgetting but the only thing I can get ahold of is alcohol/weed because my ineptitude of social norms does not allow me to score normally.