Mental Health Does anyone here suffer from health anxiety?

[Burnt Offerings]

I do and it's ruining my life. It's the first thing I think about upon waking up and the last thing I think about before passing out.

I've been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder on a few different occasions, and I'm also diabetic (type 1, as a result of autoimmune disease), so those factors probably contribute immensely. It's easy to believe that there's something seriously wrong with you when there is in fact something seriously wrong with you. Lately I've been very concerned that I might have a possible neurological disorder as well.

A lot of literature has been devoted to the traditional anxiety attack (ie shortness of breath, tight chest, pounding heart, etc.) but anxiety for me seems to manifest in completely different physical ways. Very disturbing and real ways, actually, which I suspect are largely anxiety-related as certain drugs (like cannabis) seem to make them far more pronounced, and other drugs (like benzodiazepines) seem to make them disappear for a while. Can anyone else relate?

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

Hey,

When I smoked I definitely had more anxiety.

What kind of neurological disorder?

I'm curious to as how exactly your anxiety manifests. Are you saying you're a hypochondriac?

Do you mind relating which specific physical disease you have?

Feel free to bounce ideas off of us. It might serve a bit of a reality-check, which you seem to be seeking.

I think it's pretty common for cannabis is exacerbate anxiety, and for benzos to improve the condition. That's basically how it was for me. But benzos are a big commitment...people have a hell of a time coming off of them, some studies report greater anxiety for benzo users (after about a month+ of use), and some feel that eventually they take them just to stave off withdrawal. I've been on them before, but was lucky enough to have the sense to get off them after several months, which coupled with no need for them wasn't long enough to develop too bad of a dependence.

 

[Burnt Offerings]

Yeah I'd say that I'm probably a hypochondriac. I've been convinced that I've had a host of various ailments since I was about 13, when I got a CAT scan for persistent headaches. The latest thing I've been afraid of is multiple sclerosis. I've been afraid of that since October of the year before last. Had an MRI done but the results were "inconclusive"...the radiologists at the hospital I had it done at said there might be something there, which obviously frightened me a great deal. I got a second opinion at another hospital and they said there wasn't anything particularly abnormal about the scan, though.

Most of my physical symptoms are nerve-related stuff, peripheral neuropathy and that kind of thing. Pins and needles, "tingling", twitching etc. combined with blurry vision and visual distortions that come and go. All of which are symptomatic of diabetes but I was only diagnosed a few years ago and my blood glucose is supposedly under control. Sometimes I feel like my legs are really heavy and I feel like I can barely walk (that's what it felt like after they injected me with contrast during the MRI and I thought they found something awful on my brain). But other times these symptoms subside greatly and I forget about them for a while...but then I'm usually consumed with some other kind of obsession or worry. Lately it's mostly an overall sense of impending doom centered around the idea that soon I won't be able to move at all, even though I've yet to experience any kind of real weakness in any of my limbs, and that these are the last years in my life. It's hell and I don't know how to stop it. I take bromazepam occasionally and it helps, although I think in the long term it doesn't do me any favors and I don't take it very often anymore.

 

[herbavore]

It sounds like you are completely aware that this is your own mind creating all this unnecessary stress and yet feel impotent to change it. I had a similar situation with anxiety (not about my physical health but about my son's addiction and mental health) and even though I knew that what I was doing was self-destructive, I could not stop the obsessive thoughts. I finally tried some body-work which was really a combination of hypnosis, visualization and movement. I tried it because a friend suggested it and at the time I did it I was inwardly being very skeptical and even sarcastic about any benefit from it. Imagine my surprise when it seemed to unlock the source of the obsessive thinking. I can't say that my worrying stopped or that I did not continue to experience stress but it was tangibly and powerfully diminished to the point that I could "see" it when it was happening rather than just be sucked down into it and overwhelmed.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

Doesn't sound pretty at all!

I think taking benzos only when you absolutely need them is the way to go.

It sounds like your symptoms could be better treated. I'm assuming you go to a doctor for the bromazepam. Could you tell him/her what's going on? I believe SSRIs, despite what many people say on this website, really do help anxiety with depression and OCD much of the time.

I think you could really benefit from meditation. Also from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It basically teaches you to fight irrational thoughts with competing thoughts. Once that happens, feelings follow. But it may take some training with a good therapist, which I believe every mentally ill person needs in order to get optimally well.

That you can think outside the box and catch yourself when you're having these irrational thoughts is big.

You may not have these debilitating thoughts as much if you try to stay busy. I'm not sure how active your life is, but implementing structure is key. Maybe start with small commitments. Additionally, confiding in someone, as well as doing a good deed, may take some of your burden away from you.

 

[-=SS=-]

I think it would be helpful to make friends right now with the idea that it is healthy to have some level of concern about your health.. that is completely natural and inherent in our programming.. so trying to fight off the process entirely will never ever work and is counterproductive/will only produce further anxiety.

Beyond that I think the typical anxiety strategies will work.. you just need to break the habitual thinking patterns in your mind and the rest will follow.. ultimately that's where it all stems from. Oh and if you're getting bodily reactions at any point don't fight it or judge it.. your body follows what you mind tells it do to.. which is positive! It shows your body works as it should. Pull the rug out from the mental component and the rest will follow. Took me a long time to accept my specific bodily reactions to anxiety, such as sweating and breath control, but once I did that helps break the cycle massively. Also seeing anxiety as something external to yourself helps too.. like the anxiety is not you or your fault.. it's an affliction of the mind.. you got to find your own courage/centre and tell it to go fuck itself.

 

[Burnt Offerings]

To give just a little more info about myself, I'm in my mid-20s and have tried an assortment of psychoactive drugs in my lifetime (we're just talking about legally, here). Including Celexa, Xanax, Trazodone, and most recently bromazepam and Ambien. I'm not really willing to try another SSRI drug, as Celexa had a pretty bad effect on me, and I was a bit skeptical of it's efficacy as an anxiolytic anyway...anxiety and depression are related conditions, but they aren't the same, although they often co-exist. I don't really suffer from anhedonia or melancholic feelings or anything like that...it's more like suffering from raw fear.

I probably would be willing to try an anti-depressant with a different mechanism of action from the SSRI, though.

I'm a fisherman so my life is very active, as a virtue of my occupation. The large majority of my days currently are reserved for physical labor or sleep. The problem is that most of the work is pretty monotonous so it gives me plenty of time to be alone with my brain. I make a decent living but I don't think that I could afford a psychiatric help, unless it was provided very inexpensively. If anyone knows of any free resources about cognitive behavioral therapy or anything like that, feel free to let me know, I'd be interested in checking it out.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

^Notwithstanding that you go on to generalize yourself, do you have any sources? I'd be happy to read what you can dig up. I don't think the virtue of SSRIs is something that I need to prove. In other words, I believe you have the burden of proof. This is substantiated by them being first-line treatments for anxiety and depression in any country which has a decently developed healthcare system. I actually didn't have much luck with SSRIs, which I think you're assuming simply because I think they're great medicines. they always worked a lot more for my anxiety than for my depression. I would also challenge you to re-think your opinion despite your own experience. That is what I have done. Thanks for the comment.

I take it that you don't live in the US (because to my knowledge bromazepam isn't really prescribed there). Still, unless you live in somewhere like Russia, mental health services should be in reach for a fairly cheap sum. That said, I don't know.

It sounds like you're pretty busy. Maybe when you have some spare time you could read something thought-provoking. By doing this, you could have something else to munch on while on the daily grind. Just a thought.

I think the internet has tons of free resources on how to meditate.

 

[Burnt Offerings]

*shrug I'm not assuming anything. I'm saying that, for me personally, they didn't work. For other people they may work and hey, more power to 'em, that's great.

They're the first line treatment because they *might* be effective and they're not "drugs of abuse".

And I do live in the USA. In Alaska. The book suggestion was actually a good one...I was less stressed when I was reading more regularly, looking back on it.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

I think you thought I was responding to you, whereas I was responding to someone above me who deleted their post. SSRIs didn't really work for me, either.

Good to know I provided some help.

 

[Chatative]

Just spotted this thread... I myself went through a period of having reasonably bad health anxiety (hypochondria) which manifested as part of some GAD I was experiencing.

One of the things which exacerbated my health anxiety was that the anxiety would cause any number of strange symptoms to pop up. You seem to talk about different physical symptoms appearing... there really is a very long list of symptoms that anxiety can cause which can mimic other health concerns. For example, I thought I was developing diabetes for a while because I was always going to the toilet overnight, I was more thirsty & I occasionally had some itching. What it all came down to though was I was drinking more because anxiety was giving me a dry mouth, hence the apparent diabetes symptoms. I think the itching was mostly in my head too. I also was concerned about having heart problems because my heart rate would often be up around 80-90 even when I was sitting down & I was aware of my heart thudding away. That again was just anxiety though.

What was particularly helpful for me was a combination of SSRIs & talk therapy. I completely understand that you have tried SSRIs & they aren't effective for you but I wouldn't give up. Perhaps having some benzos as PRN could be helpful although I would be wary of becoming reliant on them as addiction is always a risk. Also you could try Buspar... it deals with the physical sensations of anxiety which if they are a trigger for your health anxiety could be a help.

As for therapy I can't stress the difference it can make enough. I never did any CBT as such but I believe the worksheets I got to look through were based on CBT. Some of the more useful things I would remind myself of every time I started worrying about my health were:

• "My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened.", Montaigne.

I find this quote to be of particular use. It demonstrates that most of what you are worrying about will never happen. In terms of having various health problems it helps to realise that the chances of you having serious illnesses are very remote. Sit down and really think hard about how many of your health concerns have turned out to be true - I reckon very few times.

• Emotional Reasoning (Cognitive Thinking Error) - I feel bad so it must be bad. I feel anxious so I must be in danger. Just because it feels bad doesn't necessarily mean it is bad. My feelings are just a reaction to my thoughts - and thoughts are just automatic brain reflexes.

Again this is really helpful if you repeat it to yourself every time you start worrying about your health particularly if you are getting physical sensations. When you are getting worrying thoughts over symptoms, whether real or imagined just remember that just because you feel something is wrong doesn't mean it is... it's just a natural response to what you are feeling or seeing wrong.



There was more I got, I was looking for the worksheet I got on health anxiety but I appear to have misplaced it. Regardless try using those two things to help you see reason nest time you start worrying. I'm not saying they will instantly quell your fears but if used regularly, they can help change the way you think.

Also I find it really helps to understand what health anxiety entails. Realise that it will make the smallest thing into a major concern. It makes you hyperaware. It also helps to stop looking things up. I know all to well that it is tempting to Google symptoms every time they appear but that is counter-productive as it will just make things worse. It just starts a vicious cycle of seeing things wrong then validating that with different diagnoses. If you can break that cycle then you are a long way to making some real changes.

It takes real effort to make these changes in how you think but it really is possible especially with therapy. I'd seriously think about seeing if you can get either some talk therapy or CBT.

Good luck!