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Does anyone else experience this with people?

ThatSpaceyKid

ThatSpaceyKid

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 10, 2015
Messages
338
Location
Colorado
Lately I have noticed (I mean for the last 5 years moreso) that when I chill with people no one tries to talk to me. Or we hold a small conversation before it gets deadly quiet... Or we literally smoke and sit there in silence for hours and hours. I use a bit differently to than some... I dont know what moderation is or salvaging. We doing the whole sack in one or two sittings idgaf lol. When I am smoking with others... And they holding the pipe or burning it it pisses me off and they getting skipped. Or ima just take a shot. No one invites me anymore .. I'm that friend that people have to tell their other friends if I come around "Be nice.. He is different. Dont mind him. They tell me this is why I dont bring you around people... Or they shame me in front of every one when I shoot up or get mad because I shot up at certain places... People dont like to be alone with me. If someone invites me some where it's mostly out of pity I think.... And hurts because someone else always comes just so we dont have to deal with the awkward silence that always comes.

My question is.... Is this a result years of meth use? Let's be honest.... I acknowledge the disease of addiction and all that shit but what I'm saying is meth has a special way of degrading someone... And it really does make people into new people. Is it out of hurt from watching me do this to myself. Do they not like me? Is it just me.... I have PTSD so disassociation Is something that I do all the time.. Could it also be.. That I dont really like to do anything.... I dont party and use drugs to socialize it is solely to get intoxicated... I dont really try to find common interests with others... I only can identify with some aspects... Pain, sadness, and drugs.. But when I first started using meth I was a very different person completely not the guy I am now.
 
I have PTSD and I am convinced no one likes me. Except for people who authentically seem to in real life. Which I could count on both hands. And still have several fingers left.

It's a dog eat god world where the dog won. Man is dog. All men are dogs and we're one of them. Dogs bark at each other and kill each other just like men. Just be thankful some people will have you over sometimes and try to be gracious and apologize if you think some of your behavior may have been off-putting (lol these last 2 do nothing in my experience; people will still not like me for the way I am). It kind of sucks.

If you're using meth people probably won't like you. Sober, or on meth, I normally dislike and cannot stand other meth users. Like they really fucking suck. I'm sure I'm the same way which is why if I'm using it I'll self-isolate. Can you quit using meth? Even off it I'm sure other people wouldn't want to be around me.

There's a scene from my favorite movie and it sums up my personality really well. Let me see if I can find the quote.

"It was kind of a bad first date, but we still had sex. So, that was good. ... I'm just going to give you some friendly advice, bro to bro... Go down to the core of your being and ask, who am I? Am I a fun-loving guy who likes to go out and have beers with my friends?"

"No."

Try to be the fun-loving guy who likes to go out and have beers with your friends. It's not who I am and hey maybe none of us can really change who we are at the core. But it's something to try I guess.
 
Hmm.

I like to do drugs alone, so i can't really relate. I get quiet and awkward when i smoke weed, though.

You should find new friends, IMO.
 
ThatSpaceyKid said:
Lately I have noticed (I mean for the last 5 years moreso) that when I chill with people no one tries to talk to me. Or we hold a small conversation before it gets deadly quiet... Or we literally smoke and sit there in silence for hours and hours. I use a bit differently to than some... I dont know what moderation is or salvaging. We doing the whole sack in one or two sittings idgaf lol. When I am smoking with others... And they holding the pipe or burning it it pisses me off and they getting skipped. Or ima just take a shot. No one invites me anymore .. I'm that friend that people have to tell their other friends if I come around "Be nice.. He is different. Dont mind him. They tell me this is why I dont bring you around people... Or they shame me in front of every one when I shoot up or get mad because I shot up at certain places... People dont like to be alone with me. If someone invites me some where it's mostly out of pity I think.... And hurts because someone else always comes just so we dont have to deal with the awkward silence that always comes.

My question is.... Is this a result years of meth use? Let's be honest.... I acknowledge the disease of addiction and all that shit but what I'm saying is meth has a special way of degrading someone... And it really does make people into new people. Is it out of hurt from watching me do this to myself. Do they not like me? Is it just me.... I have PTSD so disassociation Is something that I do all the time.. Could it also be.. That I dont really like to do anything.... I dont party and use drugs to socialize it is solely to get intoxicated... I dont really try to find common interests with others... I only can identify with some aspects... Pain, sadness, and drugs.. But when I first started using meth I was a very different person completely not the guy I am now.
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I only have like 3 people who like me. My mom(who I get high on meth with)my wife who is a saint. And my brother who's been sober 7 yrs.i feel your pain.
 
Yeah, if you're talking about weed, most people get the social anxiety/turning inwards after a few years. I barely smoke with others now 'cause it's just awkward and weird for me.
 
On weed I'm ok..but the thought of someone getting my crystal is all most to much to bear
 
You're talking about weed, not meth, I assume. Well I'm gonna be honest, that kind of smoking behavior really turns me off. It's not a race, smoking weed with people is supposed to be chill. If you're looking for opportunities to hit it extra when people aren't like "YES SIR RIGHT AWAY SIR!" with the passing of the bowl, or getting pissed when someone parks... well, you're kind of being a dick, and people are going to be repulsed by that. I mean it's one thing, if someone's been holding the bowl for 5 minutes and talking and forgets about it... a nice "you're parking man, wanna pass that?" is totally appreciated by the group. But not everyone wants to take 50 hits to the dome in 5 minutes.

Everyone has different ways they want to smoke weed. Like me, I want to take 1 or 2 hits. I used to smoke a lot more but these days I don't. I get super high when I smoke. If we were in a circle and you got pissed at me because I didn't pass it quick enough I'd probably form a negative opinion of you, especially since I'd be super high and extra sensitive to things.

Also you're mentioning shooting up... I'm guessing you're displaying really drug fiendy behavior, and unless people are in the same kind of place as you with drugs, that sort of thing makes people uncomfortable. The vast majority of people will never shoot up, and do not want to be around that. Maybe it shouldn't be that way but you have to accept that it is. Being super into drugs can start to seem really normal when you're used to it, but for most people it isn't. Most people are smoking weed sometimes when it comes around to them, it's a fun, lighthearted thing, and if someone is there being all intense about it, it stops being fun and just get uncomfortable.

Hope it doesn't sound harsh, I'm just trying to be honest.
 
Xorkoth said:
You're talking about weed, not meth, I assume. Well I'm gonna be honest, that kind of smoking behavior really turns me off. It's not a race, smoking weed with people is supposed to be chill. If you're looking for opportunities to hit it extra when people aren't like "YES SIR RIGHT AWAY SIR!" with the passing of the bowl, or getting pissed when someone parks... well, you're kind of being a dick, and people are going to be repulsed by that. I mean it's one thing, if someone's been holding the bowl for 5 minutes and talking and forgets about it... a nice "you're parking man, wanna pass that?" is totally appreciated by the group. But not everyone wants to take 50 hits to the dome in 5 minutes.

Everyone has different ways they want to smoke weed. Like me, I want to take 1 or 2 hits. I used to smoke a lot more but these days I don't. I get super high when I smoke. If we were in a circle and you got pissed at me because I didn't pass it quick enough I'd probably form a negative opinion of you, especially since I'd be super high and extra sensitive to things.

Also you're mentioning shooting up... I'm guessing you're displaying really drug fiendy behavior, and unless people are in the same kind of place as you with drugs, that sort of thing makes people uncomfortable. The vast majority of people will never shoot up, and do not want to be around that. Maybe it shouldn't be that way but you have to accept that it is. Being super into drugs can start to seem really normal when you're used to it, but for most people it isn't. Most people are smoking weed sometimes when it comes around to them, it's a fun, lighthearted thing, and if someone is there being all intense about it, it stops being fun and just get uncomfortable.

Hope it doesn't sound harsh, I'm just trying to be honest.
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I appreciate your honesty. I'm talking about weed and meth. When I smoke meth I'm the same way... I hear what your saying. That's the reality to me iv meth and heroin are normal. I am a fiend. I am hopelessly addicted and cannot stop. I dont use to have fun its self medication. I will admit... If someone is parking and it's my shit I'll just dip and go IV. The only solution is abstinence because I'll never be able to enjoy drugs again. I am very selfish and self centered. The drugs cause certain effects. But then just as well I have my character defects which make me just as sick.
 
Cream Gravy? said:
Yeah, if you're talking about weed, most people get the social anxiety/turning inwards after a few years. I barely smoke with others now 'cause it's just awkward and weird for me.
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I dont chill with pot heads either anymore... They dont like me and I do feel socially awkward
 
I damaged myself quite a bit whit drugs and this had a consequence that I had great difficulties with social interaction and with having a conversation, this.made.me lose.some ppl too, but my.best.friends, my real Friends, they dont do anything different in regards to me than in the past...

I consider myself to be very lucky with those Friends...
 
Yeah I mean, it sounds like you just go way too hard on drugs compared to your friends. And yeah a lot of people are repulsed by that behavior. You sound rude and abrasive describing not being able to stand people being chill.

You need to chill out or find friends that are more fiendish like yourself.
 
moonyham said:
Yeah I mean, it sounds like you just go way too hard on drugs compared to your friends. And yeah a lot of people are repulsed by that behavior. You sound rude and abrasive describing not being able to stand people being chill.

You need to chill out or find friends that are more fiendish like yourself.
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This exactly. Same thing happened to me just for smoking more weed and drinking more beer than everyone else. They want to sit around rolling dice and telling each other stories. They want to sip on a dark beer and feel cosy. I don't. So now they are lonely nerds telling each other stories with dice, and i'm a lonely nerd smoking until i pass out telling myself stories in my head.

Hanging around people without shared interest under the pretense of shared interest probably just exacerbates any behavioral issue involved in the differences.
 
That plus you don't need to be ppl choice. A few comrades even 1, is what me and everyone else needs. Some people think that going to a bar is rhe way to make friends, not enough no not rlly.. I think you need to follow wave more, people like to explore the world more nowadays with travelling to god forbidden places, there on the plane you can have a shot at finding someone. I had countless.. and blew them off because I already got ppl who dont stick the staff into ur wheel you know the saying "Best convos are with strangers"
 
I've finally made peace with being a loner. I have a few very good friends that I.ve known for years, and that's satisfying and comfortable. You really need to be comfortable and ok with yourself first. The rest will follow.✌️
 
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