Does anybody "live the best of both worlds"? And if you do, how do you do it?
Me and 2 friends are in a fantasy that we will live the best of both worlds. When I say the best of both worlds I mean doing the drugs you want to and being successful in your work/school life. One of my friends that we will call "dog" kind of leans more towards drugs side where my other friend who we will call "cat" leans more on the success side. I am somewhat in the middle. I want to know if there are any of you out there who do the drugs you want to do (specifically meth and or heroin but any works) while still having a successful "normal" life? I know I tried my hardest to make schedules on when I can use and when I cant and how much I can but it never seems to work. I'm going to explain why I think there is actually NOBODY who "has a white collar job and does (insert hard drug here) without it affecting them".
So we will start with my friend dog. Dog is the meaner and more criminal person in the group. Dog has been to jail on felony charges but only did 6 months because he was a minor. Dog does online school and has straight A's (or so he says) because he can apparently just look up all the answers to everything. Dog also has (probably got fired though) a job at a restaurant. Before meeting dog me and cat had been good friends, and I didn't introduce cat to dog for a few months after I hung out with dog frequently. Even though dog is a rougher type of person he is still a great friend and person to be around. When I met dog I had already done every drug except the harder ones (meth and heroin). Also when I had met dog I just came out of a gruesome opiate pill addiction. Within the first week or two of knowing dog me and dog were arrested for possession. We weren't doing anything too openly sketchy, we drove to a park in my neighborhood and smoked our last bowl of weed on the playground, then went back to the car. We were there for maybe 15-30 minutes, and just before we left 7 cop cars and an undercover car pulled in. We had run from police before but there was no point this time. They searched the car and found 20 pills, alcohol, and a few pieces. A few days after that I asked dog if he still had connects for Heroin as he had talked about it before and I had been looking for it since I was in my pill addiction. I would also like to add that while we might all be of different financial backgrounds we all live in a middle upper class white suburban area of Atlanta so drugs were definitely around just harder to find. Dog said he definitely still did, and a week or two later he asked me if I wanted to throw down cash on meth. I figured I might as well try it since I hadn't been fantasizing about it like heroin and I would be less likely to become hooked. I tried it and had a great experience which I told cat about. Since then me cat and dog have done meth more than a few times and have had many nights to remember. Since then dog has been on the run twice and has gone on a few week long binges brought on by money. Since then dog has lost his job and relationship with his mother. Since then dog admits to have been addicted to hard drugs. Dog only seemed to become hooked when he left our friendly harmless area and went to the harsh, poverty and crime stricken areas that he has become fond of.
Now for me. I am the in between of dog and cat. I'm by no means the rough type of person although I have a very small criminal record (charges dropped), nor am I the preppy straight A student I kind of want to be. People say I look like a junky or a drug addict but that is mainly because I keep my head buzzed down. The people that say i look like a junky have probably never seen a junky or at least somebody I would consider a junky (sidenote - I hate the label junkie). Anyways I have a reputation at the school I go to. I go to one of the top schools in the state which is great for my successful life. For my drug life though, its a nightmare. Everybody thinks I'm a drug dealer when I have never slang, which is good I guess cause i can rip off newbies but it also causes frequent searches and rude teachers. Also there is only a handful of people that I can actually talk to about every day occurrences in my life. My grades aren't to good, I have some great grades but it will be a miracle from God if I pass all my classes this semester. I had a part time job for a year but I quit right at the end of my pill addiction and right before I met dog. Last year I did better but not great. Last year I only smoked weed the first semester, then second semester I actually started hanging out with friends rather than being the lonely stoner type. Then I started messing around with adderall, then shrooms, then xanax, then before I knew it I was a full blown oxycodone addict who had done every drug besides meth and heroin. Over the summer I ended my pill addiction, and then I met dog and tried meth and recently heroin. I still think there is a lot of hope for me, I still plan on getting a degree and a fulfilling career and that is still very possible. What I really found is that drugs might be affecting my grades and job but what was really affecting it was my attitude and work ethic. For the longest time I refused to do homework, study, and I dreaded being in school or clocked in. But after some therapy and introspective thinking I love being at school, but its still taking me a lot of work to keep up with homework and studying. I've also found out that having good grades is actually really possible and not as hard as I thought it would be, and that a big reason I THINK drugs are the culprit to my grades is because I spend most of my time out with friends. Time will tell if I can continue drug use and remain a good citizen. Most people would wish for world peace or world hunger to end if the had one wish. If I had one wish, it would be to be able to perfectly balance drugs and school/work. I feel very selfish to say that but I imagine anyone living that life must feel like they are the luckiest people in the world. Since I tried meth i've done it plenty of times and recently started experimenting with heroin. Since I tried meth I have done very selfish and mean things to my family especially and friends for dope money. Also very worried about my heroin use as meth was kind of a disappointment to me, whereas heroin was everything I thought it could be. I'm at a very uncertain time of my life but I feel that if I stick to my values and keep my head up I can make something out of my life. I think I get the decent side of each life; I have a somewhat grasp on my drug use and somewhat acceptable grades.
Now time for cat. I feel it is necessary to add that there is a bit of an age difference between me and cat and dog. Both cat and dog are 2-2 and a half years older than me. Even still cat has been my friend for life. I've been hanging out with cat for as long as I can remember. First time I ever smoked a cigarette (in sixth grade) was with cat. First time I smoked weed (seventh grade) was with cat. Me and cat did everything together for most of our lives. Up until highschool both me and cat were somewhat shy and antisocial and never really had friends besides each other. If dog wasn't in the group then I would probably be the rough one. Cat and I were the same in every way except for one: his motivation in school. People blame it on him being asian, which he hates considering his mom's white, but it is because he has had discipline from a very young age. He always had A's and was in the most advanced classes you can get into. Ironically he was the one to get me to try cigs and weed. Cat also had a summer job as a lifeguard and had a lot of money saved up, unlike what I did with my money from my job which was blow it all. Anyways up until I introduced him to dog the hardest drugs he had ever done was E. He had also never snorted ANYTHING. I feel almost responsible for his hard drug experimentation, he mentioned to me when I was telling him about my first meth experience that he kind of wanted to try it. I then told dog that who offered cat to buy some with us. Cat decided to do it and we smoked a gram the first time he tried it. He loved it, but like me he said it was kind of a disappointment to his expectations. Since he tried meth he has only done it a few times all with me or dog. The last time I used meth which was actually a week or two ago was with cat where he said he was done with hard drugs, or at least for a few months. Cat has held up to his word, which surprised me and i don't know why it did considering his track record. He's not the type of guy that can do something and drop it like nothing, but rather a guy who can keeps himself from doing it enough to make him love it. The reason he dropped hard drugs was because he noticed his grades dropping.
So that's my story of 3 misfits that are friends. None of us could do dope without having problems with our "real" or professional life. I always read stories of people that have "normal" "real" lives that still indulge in dope and would like to ask all bluelight users if they have the best of both worlds and if they do how did they do it? Because I have honestly never heard a success story from the person themselves. Sorry for the long story I could go on for days but this is something we always talk about and I want to hear from others. From what I see, nobody can handle dope and everybody regrets it.
Me and 2 friends are in a fantasy that we will live the best of both worlds. When I say the best of both worlds I mean doing the drugs you want to and being successful in your work/school life. One of my friends that we will call "dog" kind of leans more towards drugs side where my other friend who we will call "cat" leans more on the success side. I am somewhat in the middle. I want to know if there are any of you out there who do the drugs you want to do (specifically meth and or heroin but any works) while still having a successful "normal" life? I know I tried my hardest to make schedules on when I can use and when I cant and how much I can but it never seems to work. I'm going to explain why I think there is actually NOBODY who "has a white collar job and does (insert hard drug here) without it affecting them".
So we will start with my friend dog. Dog is the meaner and more criminal person in the group. Dog has been to jail on felony charges but only did 6 months because he was a minor. Dog does online school and has straight A's (or so he says) because he can apparently just look up all the answers to everything. Dog also has (probably got fired though) a job at a restaurant. Before meeting dog me and cat had been good friends, and I didn't introduce cat to dog for a few months after I hung out with dog frequently. Even though dog is a rougher type of person he is still a great friend and person to be around. When I met dog I had already done every drug except the harder ones (meth and heroin). Also when I had met dog I just came out of a gruesome opiate pill addiction. Within the first week or two of knowing dog me and dog were arrested for possession. We weren't doing anything too openly sketchy, we drove to a park in my neighborhood and smoked our last bowl of weed on the playground, then went back to the car. We were there for maybe 15-30 minutes, and just before we left 7 cop cars and an undercover car pulled in. We had run from police before but there was no point this time. They searched the car and found 20 pills, alcohol, and a few pieces. A few days after that I asked dog if he still had connects for Heroin as he had talked about it before and I had been looking for it since I was in my pill addiction. I would also like to add that while we might all be of different financial backgrounds we all live in a middle upper class white suburban area of Atlanta so drugs were definitely around just harder to find. Dog said he definitely still did, and a week or two later he asked me if I wanted to throw down cash on meth. I figured I might as well try it since I hadn't been fantasizing about it like heroin and I would be less likely to become hooked. I tried it and had a great experience which I told cat about. Since then me cat and dog have done meth more than a few times and have had many nights to remember. Since then dog has been on the run twice and has gone on a few week long binges brought on by money. Since then dog has lost his job and relationship with his mother. Since then dog admits to have been addicted to hard drugs. Dog only seemed to become hooked when he left our friendly harmless area and went to the harsh, poverty and crime stricken areas that he has become fond of.
Now for me. I am the in between of dog and cat. I'm by no means the rough type of person although I have a very small criminal record (charges dropped), nor am I the preppy straight A student I kind of want to be. People say I look like a junky or a drug addict but that is mainly because I keep my head buzzed down. The people that say i look like a junky have probably never seen a junky or at least somebody I would consider a junky (sidenote - I hate the label junkie). Anyways I have a reputation at the school I go to. I go to one of the top schools in the state which is great for my successful life. For my drug life though, its a nightmare. Everybody thinks I'm a drug dealer when I have never slang, which is good I guess cause i can rip off newbies but it also causes frequent searches and rude teachers. Also there is only a handful of people that I can actually talk to about every day occurrences in my life. My grades aren't to good, I have some great grades but it will be a miracle from God if I pass all my classes this semester. I had a part time job for a year but I quit right at the end of my pill addiction and right before I met dog. Last year I did better but not great. Last year I only smoked weed the first semester, then second semester I actually started hanging out with friends rather than being the lonely stoner type. Then I started messing around with adderall, then shrooms, then xanax, then before I knew it I was a full blown oxycodone addict who had done every drug besides meth and heroin. Over the summer I ended my pill addiction, and then I met dog and tried meth and recently heroin. I still think there is a lot of hope for me, I still plan on getting a degree and a fulfilling career and that is still very possible. What I really found is that drugs might be affecting my grades and job but what was really affecting it was my attitude and work ethic. For the longest time I refused to do homework, study, and I dreaded being in school or clocked in. But after some therapy and introspective thinking I love being at school, but its still taking me a lot of work to keep up with homework and studying. I've also found out that having good grades is actually really possible and not as hard as I thought it would be, and that a big reason I THINK drugs are the culprit to my grades is because I spend most of my time out with friends. Time will tell if I can continue drug use and remain a good citizen. Most people would wish for world peace or world hunger to end if the had one wish. If I had one wish, it would be to be able to perfectly balance drugs and school/work. I feel very selfish to say that but I imagine anyone living that life must feel like they are the luckiest people in the world. Since I tried meth i've done it plenty of times and recently started experimenting with heroin. Since I tried meth I have done very selfish and mean things to my family especially and friends for dope money. Also very worried about my heroin use as meth was kind of a disappointment to me, whereas heroin was everything I thought it could be. I'm at a very uncertain time of my life but I feel that if I stick to my values and keep my head up I can make something out of my life. I think I get the decent side of each life; I have a somewhat grasp on my drug use and somewhat acceptable grades.
Now time for cat. I feel it is necessary to add that there is a bit of an age difference between me and cat and dog. Both cat and dog are 2-2 and a half years older than me. Even still cat has been my friend for life. I've been hanging out with cat for as long as I can remember. First time I ever smoked a cigarette (in sixth grade) was with cat. First time I smoked weed (seventh grade) was with cat. Me and cat did everything together for most of our lives. Up until highschool both me and cat were somewhat shy and antisocial and never really had friends besides each other. If dog wasn't in the group then I would probably be the rough one. Cat and I were the same in every way except for one: his motivation in school. People blame it on him being asian, which he hates considering his mom's white, but it is because he has had discipline from a very young age. He always had A's and was in the most advanced classes you can get into. Ironically he was the one to get me to try cigs and weed. Cat also had a summer job as a lifeguard and had a lot of money saved up, unlike what I did with my money from my job which was blow it all. Anyways up until I introduced him to dog the hardest drugs he had ever done was E. He had also never snorted ANYTHING. I feel almost responsible for his hard drug experimentation, he mentioned to me when I was telling him about my first meth experience that he kind of wanted to try it. I then told dog that who offered cat to buy some with us. Cat decided to do it and we smoked a gram the first time he tried it. He loved it, but like me he said it was kind of a disappointment to his expectations. Since he tried meth he has only done it a few times all with me or dog. The last time I used meth which was actually a week or two ago was with cat where he said he was done with hard drugs, or at least for a few months. Cat has held up to his word, which surprised me and i don't know why it did considering his track record. He's not the type of guy that can do something and drop it like nothing, but rather a guy who can keeps himself from doing it enough to make him love it. The reason he dropped hard drugs was because he noticed his grades dropping.
So that's my story of 3 misfits that are friends. None of us could do dope without having problems with our "real" or professional life. I always read stories of people that have "normal" "real" lives that still indulge in dope and would like to ask all bluelight users if they have the best of both worlds and if they do how did they do it? Because I have honestly never heard a success story from the person themselves. Sorry for the long story I could go on for days but this is something we always talk about and I want to hear from others. From what I see, nobody can handle dope and everybody regrets it.
