not sure if this is the proper place for a trip report (and i should know as ive been emerged in this thread for the past week and the old ones) but anyway
skip until *** TrIP REPORT *** part but introduction ill put here.
drug history , this is my very 1st research chemical. also very interested in 4-h0/aco-met and 4-aco-dmt but DOC was my first go at RC.
similar drugs ive taken , trippy wise ... 10+lsd trips (highest dose was 5-6 blotter hits) , low doses of shrooms [<2g] , ketamine (1 binge idk the amount but was a lot) , stimulants - plenty of e , back when they contain some decent amount of mda/mdma and not the crap pipes that go around detroit these days , and cocaine (big habit) , and ummm caffeine ? lots of monsters , red bulls , coffee . too much if ya ask me ... but whatever.
yeah am about 6hr into 1 mg DOC experience so lengthy introduction but want to give a kind of preface to where im at with life , to give a better feel to the trip report.
recently (well 3 months ago now) relapsed after having been sober for nearly 4 years , relapse happen about a week before i would of had 4 years (well sober from everything except small marijuana use) dabbled with everything but my demons were def cocaine , alcohol and xanax. relapse was with cocaine , followed by xanax (how else we gonna sleep ) and then of course the one i had the most problems with alcohol. so as far as where im at in life , not a great place , tons of shame , dissapointment and disgust with myself. while coke/alcohhol/xanax were my "drugs of choice" so to say , my most happy experiences were on LSD by far so DOC sparked my interest.
24 hours ago from now i indulged in 1.7g street level cocaine to wake me up from a stuper of drinking wine all evening and fighting with my gf over the phone. did my usual alcholic outburst and said a bunch of childish shit to hurt her because i was mad. been downward spiral with our relationship since i relapsed. she never in recovery and is an alcoholic but anyways to the point. the week prior me and her had a pretty glowing experience i dropped 4 hits of cid , her 1 , we connected great all night , laughed , never felt happier and really thought it was gonna help me change but it was short lived. since relapsing ive been looking into using psyedelics to rid me of my addiction (or just a selfish excuse to trip balls and permagrin all night? either way its nice change of pace). Prior to that no LSD use since 2006. So yeah last night teener of blow followed by countless glasses of wine to fall asleep (funny i get the blow to wake up from my wine stupor and im pounding glass after glass when its gone to come down...smh)...anyways wake up , regretful , order up a ball but dude cant come c me till 6 p.m. so i gotta face the day it seems. check tracking , oh nice surprise my DOC is out for delivery. I spend the morning making up with the gf , walk my dog , a beastly ass doberman pincher
by her house and visit with her and her kid for a min n try n make thigns right. anyways DOC arrives , i plan on waiting to use it but at 6 P.M. i decide i am going to go for a 1mg dose (approx , 2mg pellets , smashed and portioned in half)
drank wine from about the time of consumption and throughout
anyways here are my findings , though my introduction will surely be longer then my trip report
********TRIP REPORT*********
6:00 PM - 1 MG [approx] chased with a sip , no gulp who am i kidding of wine...plane was hop in the shower...scratch that were gonna lay on the bed and read the big and dandy doc thread , try and watch dirty pictures (shuglin doc ive been trying to watch but wine has made it near impossible to watch it in full or remember wtf happen so figure throw it on try again)... interenet taking my attention tho so pause the flick
6:45 PM - first alert i think. reminding me of lsd come up. im terrible at explaining my tripping experience but kind of electric feel i think is the word.... ive showered today but i feel gross after a night of powder and way to much drinking so hop in shower.. take long shower feels great
7:45 PM nothing really much different in the hour that passed but def feel like a drug is coming on... around 1hr:45-2hr mark things really starting to get there...throw some music on and it sounds great...color enhancements...kinda weird body buzz , just feels great laying on the bed and getting lost in the music..
8:15 PM jamming out to dubstep on the iphone , thoughts about what a bummer that is because a few months ago i blew out my subwoofer to my home theatre system and how great it would sound . little self realization how i justify it to myself to waste ungodly amounts of $$$ on some of my recent blow binges ($500+ weekends) but havent managed to replace a subwoofer that cost what $150-200 and ill get prolonged enjoyment from...ahh anways music still great on my iphone but doesnt do dubstep justice. trippy effects coming up in this time...trails when i move my hands , music has me doing this weird finger dance , music is great , mild CEV but i had to really concentrate and the visuals started to shape into what i think would be faces , hard to explain but very different than lsd.. i open my eyes at one point to exit because something sinister started to shape up i felt , prob due to bad mindset coming into the trip and decide to change the bassnectar to something a little more loving... RUSKO!!!! yeah this is great... for next hour i pretty much just chill , i notice when i walk im very slow motion just like on LSD , i call it "grandpa walking" , if i stare at the wood stained fan blades they dance and breath a little like if I had took a hit or two of cid...nothing profound but def some visual even at this low dose.. so i just lay with a great almost opiate like? body buzz and enjoy the music... def tripping but no mindfuck (dumb word but whatever its true!!) like id have on lsd , but still feel like communication wouldn't be very easy even though my thoughts are clear...weird. i know my girl gets off soon and im kind of stressing about trying to talk to her and keep my cool (as she didn't want me to use drugs today)...
9:00 PM (3 hours in) . GF calls , brief convo , i dont confess what ive done but i def feel like i handled the convo good. By the end of this hour I'd say basically all the "trippyness" has left...
9:30-9:45 (3.5-3.75hr in) sometime in here i text my girl , pretty much apologising for all the bullshit ive been doing lately...spend few hours chatting with her , confessing i sampled the DOC , felt a lot of euphoria in this time , early in the text i even cried a little bit not weeping tears but eyes swelled up and tears were present but not overly sad or depressed. i rarely cry aside from when i get really wasted and fight with her ill usually freak out say a bunch of mean shit , hurt myself , and sometimes tear up , same shit i use to do but other than that i rarely cry. should note that the day after my lsd trip last week i did cry a lot. it felt good in a way but by the end of the day i just felt so manic. it started in the morning in the shower when i washed my face i realized the bruising from a alcohol fit where i punched myself , and followed by cocaine thearpy between me and the miss...that was the night prior to last weeks lsd trip..anyways getting off topic... but yah from 9:45 on it still has a touch of trippyness but kinda reminds me of rolling in a way , like conversation is coming very fluid , opening up to my gf , really wishing she was here etc...
12:00 (6 hours in) basically where im at now... trippy effects long gone but def still mood elevation , kinda regretting it because sleep doesn't seem like its gonna be easy , but i feel great , had a great conversation with the woman i love , am excited to try this at a higher dosage (thinking 3mg , 4mg if i can't hold off a couple weeks to account for tolerance)....
not a whole lot to say about it though. can def eat on this. have only ate some string cheese but ive feeled like poo all day from alcohol hangover , and fridge isn't offering anything im craving but ill prob eat shortly. back in the day i remember not being able to eat on pysedlics , or having a hard time at least , but while i was coming up on LSD last week i went out to eat and eating was easy , i ate my leftovers while i was in the peak of my trip , although it took a long time (stir fry and it took a lot of self convincing those onions and peppers were not in fact worms but something i should be eating)... id say eating would come easier on this in comparision but doses really aren't good comparision (id say this felt like maybe a hit of cid? im not sure if ive ever just took 1 hit so hard to say). hate to compare it with lsd so much as it's certainly different but it's the closest thing ive taken that resembles this....after the trippy effects wear off tho kind of resembles rolling , but not quite...def euphoria , contitment , open-ness... but not to the point im texting random people in my phone to remind them i love them haha....
well now its
12:30 (6.5 hr in) - Im stimulated but in a weird way. Def don't feel like doing much , stomach wants food but i don't want to get off the bed lol , still feel very upbeat , stimulation isn't bad in a coke moreish way (wish i could sleep) but kind of annoyed at myself if i end up awake throughout the night as sleep hasnt came easy the past 3 days and working with about 4-5hr/night for past 3 days...oh no real want to re-dose throughout except a little just recently , kind of wanting the trippy effects to come back but i can hold off (which is saying a lot since im compulsive in everything i do and never been the type to be able to keep drugs around , even LSD i can't refrain from redosing even tho i know its a waste and i should of just dosed more to begin with when it comes to cid)...gonna hold off and try this at a higher dosage... def think it's gonna leave me kind of imancipated during the peak at 4mg , but cid does the same more or less at the peak so whatever. ..
so yeah this ended up a pretty big ramble but first impressions is i really like this drug. after the trippy effets has left im kinda just feeling a great sense of contintment , that everythings ok , and im usually racing a million miles an hour in my head , over money , future , and everything else which leads to a stressfull life but this whole time i haven't had any of those thoughts...
sorry to compare to lsd so much but this is my first RC and so far it seems very LSDish but def pronounced difference. Super stoked to see what i can get out of this. Wonder if it's had any addiction curing abilities like ibogaine...guess any pysedlic is capable of this , everything can be realized during the trip its all about trying to make it a reality post trip i guess... honestly interested to see it's effects in higher doses and sub 1mg doses maybe as a mood/social enhancer? i feel like during peak i may of been able to hide it aside from the permagrin but had i taken a little less def think i could do day to day stuff....haha prob sound like im gonna turn this into my new addiction...not my plan though , just curiousity and to much time on my hands so we will see.
ah lastly (hm maybe way things are going) pupil dilation , around peak i went to the mirror and def dilated or i should say "dancing" comparable to lsd/e pills ...also no adverse side effects... no anxiety , no nause , im not entirely sure what is meant by "body load" so can't comment but i generally dont puke from any drugs... oh and could def see sex possible at least at this low dose (1mg) , around the peak , i started feeling aroused and even put a porn on briefly and was able to achieve a erection (wow this feels kinda weird but hey i love drugs i can sex on so pretty important)...and to compare once again with lsd near peak theres no way im achieving an erection , basically because sex is the last thing on my mind , but the comedown/platue of a lsd trip i find can be great for sex , if u can keep urself together that is , last time i found myself bursting out laughing at how serious it was and telling my gf how the more we laugh the harder i get...goofy yeah. this seems less so and i'd like to explore sex on this for sure , who knows though how intense a 4mg peak will be , might not be saying the same thing , ill report back!
hope im right in thinking you guys don't do the SWIMMING thing or refer to usage in third person or whatever if so delete my post cuz i incriminated the fuck out myself but afaik nothing I've done is illegal , and if it is well FUCK YOU MY BODY MY MIND , is how i feel about that law..
again sorry if this was an entirely innapropriate place to post my rambling but really felt the need to type this out. hopefully the grammar didn't turn some off or the lack of sentence making ability and jumbled thoughts but yep until next time
started to think if this stim is gonna keep up i may as well just dose again... i dont have any real responsibilities (tomorrow or never so why do i spend so much time stressing everything ill never know).... i honestly feel like at this point im pretty much gonna be awake until .... well who knows... and if that's the case i may as well try out a real dose and just spend tomorrow reflecting and hopefully falling asleep at a regular time , cuz as is im prob not falling asleep until 5 a.m. or later and while this stimulation isn't negative in anyway i just hate being on that time schedule id rather just pull a 36 hour awake period and sleep great... looks like i convinced myself....haha well ill report back gonna go for 3mg maybe 4 idk. prob add weed on top at some point which i hadn't done...fucking 2 hour come up is a bitch tho
Ok so , 1:17 (7.2 hr after 1mg drop) We are re dosing 3mg. Attempted to break the pill up , no idea why , because my addict mind says itll hit faster that way but i gave up because these are some hard fuckers and i started worrying that it's gonna fly all over the place. So anyhow , downed the remainder of my 1mg dose on top of another full 2mg , so 3mg.
Lets see where this goes.... As is i plan to be awake until tomorrow , hopefully pass out normalish time , maybe a lil earlier considering (out at 11p.m. on a friday , wow that'd be nice!!)
I play poker for a living and weekends are when i do that but taking tomorrow off , not so sure I'd be able to sit there and know I'm profiting off anothers misfortune during the afterglow/self realization this drug offers , so change of plans , buddy wants to go to "gibraltor" which is a big flea market i guess youd say but tons of cool shit , good deals , and they host shows (guns , antiuques , whatever really) so gonna take him up on that since I'll def be stimulated at that point likely feeling good (fingers crossed) , hoping i don't get any sleep deprivation induced hallucinations , had those from 48+hr coke binges and wow no fun , can't imagine the hell a meth addict or mpdv goes through , god no. I should be good though , prob exhausted but at the same time i feel like i can rest my body while on this just laying vegging out enjoying what it has to offer so maybe that will refeul me.
Plan to smoke at about 1 hour after consumption in the hopes of quicker come up/different effect. Likely bubble hash as I'm not a huge fan of straight bud , prefer hash or edibles. Wine is nearly gone. Fuck it. Cigs on the other hand are looking slim. Pack a day smoker , more if under the influence. During peak on 1mg i had no urge to smoke , i smoked once out of pure neccesity (guess not really but whatever its a hard fucking drug haha). So hopefully this pack will last until the after effect where ill be left with the choice to quit until i link up with my buddy or walk/ride my bike to the store (2 many duis , no license)... I live in what most would consider the ghetto (tho i dont) so might be interesting characters i encounter at 4-5a.m. , wont be the first time though.
Excited to report back......About to put the music on through the speakers (minus the subwoofer boooooo) hit some hash and let this do what it does.... not sure if im feeling first effects just in the span of typing this rant , hard to tell as im already under the influence but my permagrin had left from earlier and it has reappeared , in a more sinister way , like im laughing at myself or something!!! Ill report back when i can put this experience into one post though , i could type and type for hours but who fucking caresssssss!!! Good morning and hope everyone has a blessed day!!
edity - make that 4mg. , 20 minutes after 3mg dose , talked self into another half of "pellet" . justification is gf wants to try this shortly and i don't want to give her more than .5-1mg first go and well i felt i might not get desired effects as 3mg was my plan for initial "trip" dose and given tolerance we should add another MG. Fuck it. Drug addict thinking! At least it's not with a substance so destructive to my well being and may offer some positive things!!!
JAmming out to La roux reflictions are protection where i keep mis hearing reflection are distractions for "my erections are distractions" , whoops. seems more fitting though my way
-also feeling a bit , how do i see this , gassy? pretty sure i read this is a side effect for some , not to sure if its from all the alcohol consumed the night prior or an effect of this , can't be for sure. haven't ate much still though. chased the last 1mg down with milk though which tasted suprisingly good considering i can't stand milk on basically any other substance except sober or weed. usually leaves me gagging and kinda felt like i was playing with fire but had to try it.
k +20min since re dose , going to smoke hash , i hope i can create a trance like state throughout the early morning that resembles sleep but who know's we'll see. will prob edit or post again when i feel the come up but doubt ill be doing much posting during the peak as 1mg had me feeling like it was hard to communicate at the peak. should serve for a fun task during the beautiful afterglow (which i hope is even more profound with the higher dose)
double edit - 45-50minutes feeling first alert again , when im about to trip some of the time i get really serious , kind of scary dark feeling to me which usually subsides into a much more happy place but def feeling that at the moment. went from having the music playing directly off the iphone now plugged into the stereo system and WOW this shit sure does enhance music. Perhaps the hash is making the re dose come up quicker , not sure but def in that mindstate im always in before i trip where i know im about to be in for a ride but am still able to control things...not sure for how long though haha
not sure if it's just all in my head but so many things i read about this drug ring true now that ive been under it's influence. one major thing was a comparision to music and lsd , where with lsd , music is for sure awesome great and all that but it's more background noise to your trip whereas with this i just feel like i hear everything and am much more "IN" the music. Hard to put in words. My experiences are lining up a lot like Xoroth (sorry i butchered it i know and it's as easy as scrolling up to find all your useful posts but im fucking whacked my dude and aint got time for that) but anyway your posts have been great in here along with your erowid trip reports and im finding that either ive talked myself into letting this drug effect me how it has effected you or it's really just giving me that journey. Either way pretty sure you or bluedolphin's reports are where i seen all the LSD comparisions (esp the music one which is def exact thoughts at the moment).
1 hour after re dose - def got that electric feeling i love and am all so familiar with!! hope this takes me to a place my glowing lsd experiences have. I've hit the hash maybe 3-4 times in last hour , just laying totally engulfed in the dubstep. shortly going to shut labtop off tho as id like more darkness i think for peak and gonna see what it has to offer in terms of CEVS. I've allowed my beloved son , panzer the 100lb doberman pincher to come on the bed , whereas he was restrained from doing so during the last time. With LSD the other week he reacted towards me sorta weirdly but than again i think any human would also not knowing what i was under the influence of. Just this weird , scared kind of look. He's pretty tired so hope i don't spook him and he cherish every moment i let him on the bed with me and I'm feeling bad because since I fucked up and relapsed i've also on numerous occasion let him drink alcohol (which i haven't done in a month because i notice he's a fucking addict and it's not good for them!!!) and sometimes ill get drunk and beat him up although given his agressive nature i think he enjoys it and im not talking about im hurting him just im more agressive and play fight with him (though some may think it's excessive , oh well , hopefully i don't sound like to much of a dick head here)
more edits - wow , likely only play with this on monthly basis given time u gotta dedicate but wow i kinda like the effect of re dose....the stim euphoria , contentness afterglow , feeeling the trippy come up is quite beuatiful , thought i think re dosing 1-3 hours before the time i decided would of made this more pronounced as the waves of euphoria were more present whereas it kinda just nestled into a contentment feeling that i lack so much in my day to day life. anyways only hour after re dose and words are randombly bouncing with the music , everythings taking on that breathing effect , im going to hit the hash once more , a cig and than lights off for hours of what i hope will be bad ass CEVs (not a big fan of OEV when by myself haha i get scary off cid...all i see is sinister shadows , things turning into spiders which im a phob about , have had snakes present in trips tho which is really cool but im take that precaution with this as well and hopefully emerse myself in CEV's and not let any possible OEV set a bad tone for this trip)
- Official one hour mark after re dose - last update ill be making for a while... weed def enhanced this and may of quicken the come up because i can let go any minute but im still holding on , by a string cheese basically gripping sanity as looking at this forum and words breath and random colors ive never seen have random bursts , and music is WOWOWOWOWOW so much better through the speakers even in the absense of the sub. Yeah another thing i noticed is with my low dose I noticed throughout i could keep clear head , and enjoyed reading/writing a lot more than usual and felt like i could do both nearing peak. Dont plan to test that theory this time as ill be peaking in the next hour and not gonna waste my time on reading reports this time as i should be the guinue pig living out a report!!!
Not sure if i prefer the clear head ness or the mindfuck , both i feel have there places , and feel weird to say i actually enjoy the mindfuck of acid. it just feels like such clarity after sitting silent for an hour barely being able to put together a thought to say something so fucking simple but at the same time get this burst of euphoria and feeling that it was such a deep thought or statement...idk hard to explain but kinda something i can only relate with "mindfuck"
-i lied im update again
- yeah any time i wanna let go ill be in that world , can't wait but had to change music and figured i should note this as itd end up forgotten. when i changed music to stereo instead of listening to albums i used pandora and the dubstep channel which started putting on some really dark stuff and felt it was going to negatively add so change to "dead mau" , im really lost for music suggestions as far as electronic , never been a fan but lately with my introduction to dubstep i've started to appriciate more and more electronic. for reference im about as consistent with my drug of choice as with my favorite music , it bounces the fuck around , fitting to how my life is going , I'm a huge hip hop fan , rock fan from alternative to punk to metal , and everywhere in between , but in last couple years starting in 2009 i was into hip hop , but with a message not the shit on the radio something i could relate to , and not just relate to cuz i can relate to all the negative shit , being trapped in the drug culture but what im saying is the positive rap , the hard shit to find , sha stimuli , prince ea , reef the lost cauze , one be lo , elzhi ... shit with substance , than 2010-2011 was all jazz , just all the greats , im to wrecked to name them all but fuck i was feeling jazz that year , but 2012....2012......2012!!!!!!!! DUBSTEP , can't get enough of it and being from detroit and being the second generation to a lot of ravers , seeing friends big bro's n cats we look up to (R.iP. those buried ) i never fully appriciated any kind of electronic music which i found weird. I just always played it off to that tough guy "not my scene" excuse... idk...anyways dead ma5 i guess it is as i have no other ideas on positive electronic station to set to although i think after writing this i had enough , yikes , kinda accepted and dismissed this music in 15 minutes but all this hip hop talk and jazz greats makes me wont to peak off into some dizzy gissseppe (not even trying at this point to spell lmao) or some home town hero elzhi ,
yep 1.5 in re dose fully prnounced , later guys , sentences are just a bouncing ive never been able to experience reading and its rather quite comical , entertaining ? im just left with a lsd like permagrin , one more hit of hash and i really gotta quit saying this but SHUT off the cpu!!! explore music , CEVS!!! report in 4-5 hours id guess......
1.5 hour , yeah not cool. was totally immersed , everything off , felt orgasmic like i was tossing turning , kind of crawled in a ball as im experiencing coldness and great time for a pandora ad , idk wtf it was maybe some movie preview? but something about true story bunch of poeople murdered just like worse possible shit i could of hurt. wow what a trip kill that was hahaha. back to my own music fuck a pandora i paused the preview and am scared to go back although i was just managing to wabble close enough to change the dead ma5 to some hip hop but back to dubstep it seems as thats all i really have on my iphone stored music wise besides some more sinister hip hop that i dont see any need to visit on this trip.... and to scared to go back to pandora lol. freaked me the fuck out.
1:45 re dose - communication would be hard on my way to a peak , not sure why i feel like i have to shut off cpu as this is actually quite entertaining ive never looked at text while tripping but this is nice and weird i can lot somewhat sane thoughts flow while experiencing this . pretty bummed i just let a fucking pandora ad come in between my pysdeclic orgasim but from what i read this is a substance with a prolonged come up , peak , platue so i feel as if im rushing myself and pretending i don't have the time to explore this , CEVs , and the other aspects....i rush my mind like this on LSD as it's usually not as long of an experience as I'd like it to be at least in terms of the peak
oh but i started that thought and didnt finish which will annoy me if i don't. that fucking ad , why did i let it put such a damper on my mood there? see with LSD i think id be so lost in the mindfuck at this point that would of def been a table turner and this would end a darker trip (which i don't mind at all but at this time id like more happy/glowy/positive) and that fucking ad was sinister , ill revisit it in the morning but idk if ads will stay paused that long? see now im kind of curious because i love scary flicks for me and my girl and this shit was really fucking scary !!!!!!! not gonna give in though cuz was way to sinister feeling i nearly jumped out of the bed and franticlly hitting buttons to stop the sound
2 hour mark - lots of visuals , everything is alive , music is great , want to compare to lsd visuals but very different at the same time and feel much more in control of where i let this trip take me , which im grateful for giving that unexpected freaky ad/movie trailer(Or flat out hallucination , we'll never know cuz im to scared to hit pandora at present time lmao permagrinnning just thinking how tough i try to potray on the outside but im sitting here scared to put an ad on pandora and am in utter awe and bliss with how beautiful life is.......................
cigs becoming less and less e njoyable. which is good because were down to 4 and i cannot and will not be going in public for a good 2-4-6 hours. 2 to 4 to 6 you read that right. i don't know yet. but a walk to the store during afterglow in the a.m. will prob provide great euphoria , i think ill let my dog join , likely not a bad idea given the murder rate this year in this little town i call home .. ill be convinced of lifes beauty if i can walk to the store at 5 a.m. with even half of this positive thinking... amongst all the side walk trash ... beer bottles , needles , baggies , beggars , possible conners that you gotta keep an eye open for ... through the constant noise , the sirens , the planes (i counted planes on my lsd trip , literally a close landing plane every 10 minutes).... and if i can still see beauty out of this? than wow! to most this would be a depressing walk. i havent did it yet so i gotta shut up but im actually looking forward to this , which says a lot
not a many 5 a.m. cig walks have came from a experience im looking forward to....usually in suicidal regret mode by that time....gonna leave that negative thought process behind tho i can feel it will fuck this up..
so in control but same time just fucking crazy .... for comparision sake visuals on lsd never really get here until 4+hits
def jaw clkeanching during peak...so thats a side affect....my hands are asleep but thats due to being on text and typing this report out....
ive spaced this out a lot i know but really feeling it like crazy now... gonna pour a glass more of wine and prob not be able to move much in near future so feel like i should get this done now but im drawn to typing what i should be doing!!weird.but yes gonna try and get into a trance like state , going to try and walk so will report on that , maybe eat some food as i feel this weird feeling of needing to prepare for this peak like my body is telling me get ready fool this is gonna be a ride...i don't know... such out of control feelings but feeling so in control is really foreign to me but its quite lovely feeling like i can let go if i want and know that itll catch me.
god i cannot stress enough how bad of a overtone the pandora ad or whatefver it was has made this kind of crappy. when i try and let go now i keep hearing the "brutal blah blah blah shit" that the ad was saying....i think im a bit sensitive because for almost 2 years now i've lived without cable television (aside from watching it when at others but with a whole different way of looking at it now) and my brain may not be used to these sublimingal like ads...for an otherwise what i assume movie , has now led this into a fear direction that i hope ill be able to rid it of but as of now when i try and let go im filled back with the negativeness i felt when i heard whatever the ad was promoting , and abstinece from cabil telvision has been 100% self=restrictions...... got into a conspiracy phase during sobriety and kind of felt like turning off the tube would help and i def think it does but at the same time it's good to be able to look back into that world with a more trained eye. overall though i don't miss much! thanks to 2012 land i can just dl any show i find of interest (not many) , and can rid myself of all your advertisment (except pandora u cunt!!!)
(2 hours and some change in ) wow , looked at mirror and cant really lookat myself to funny but if lsd is a permagrin this is whole another level , biggest cheese ive seen myself have , i can't contain bursting out laughing just thinking aboout this run in , i had merely seconds ago with myself in the mirror.
--dog is started to give me very weirded looks. heavy exhaling , i thnk he should go away for peak
--had forgottun i changed back to stored music and ending of folder was a very depressing. not sure why but feel like i should edit that in haha. euphoria , fun , trippiness returned as soon as music did. when it ended i had a strange empty , which almost returned to a darker place when i peered into the kitchen . seeing your dining area from your sleeping area was quite a humbling realization in itself. feels kind of profound , no clue.
well still alive and well , fully tripping , though far from peak 12 hours later...gonna need some time to report back....
well still alive and well , fully tripping , though far from peak 12 hours later...gonna need some time to report back....
general thought was very sedated trip , i feel like i fell in some sort of trance once i shut the elctronics off , 3: a.m. - 6:30 felt like minutes and I'm having a tough time knowing if i was awake during this... regardless def had side effects , heavy body tempeture issues , gassy , tremor like... i feel like i enjoyed the peak , but truth is i was prob just squirming around in what felt very orgasmic like state
6:30ish get up and feel very intoxicated in a alcohol like way ... spend the better part of the next hour convincing my dog im in fact ok and get him into his crate as i think he's seen enough and was irresponsible of me to let him be in the room during peak...
feel like during my 2-3 hour trance that music def guided me and i imagine during that time i changed music/folders a couple times. i felt a lot of the darker dubstep i generally like was way to negative and sountrack of this trip has been La Roux-La Roux , specifically "Tigerlilly" ...
From 7:30-11:00 i fall back into a somewhat trance like state that i can only describe as "was i asleep?" ,
I still have a ciggerate left amazingly , i think between 3:30-11:00 i had one when i felt like things were getting rough ,
Everything has that "dur!!! day after trip how do i tie my shoes" takes me a very long time to re learn how to make hot coco , but after about an hour and a shower in between i had a somewhat decent cup of hot coco.
Visuals still present , but mainly in sense of everything breathing/color enhancements ...
12:30 g/f on her way to drop off a pack of smokes ... oh boy ...
very akward half hour , where i can just tell how annoyed she is at the situation but at the same time when that would usually hurt me or make me felt put down i can see behind that she loves me and her annoyedness is well warrented so all in all wasn't terrible but even +12 hour later i find it hard to communicate and could not talk to a person who i couldn't confide in that i am tripping.
anyways were at about +13 hours in now and trip has not quite plateued.
General feelings is I enjoyed this time but I think I'd like to stay in the 2mg range in the future but am not regretful i gave 4mg a try , just seems all a bit intense to be.
so side effects - tremors , heath regulation , gass , veins/muscles feel super weird and kind of a scared me at one point during the peak when i looked at my arms during peak ....
skip until *** TrIP REPORT *** part but introduction ill put here.
drug history , this is my very 1st research chemical. also very interested in 4-h0/aco-met and 4-aco-dmt but DOC was my first go at RC.
similar drugs ive taken , trippy wise ... 10+lsd trips (highest dose was 5-6 blotter hits) , low doses of shrooms [<2g] , ketamine (1 binge idk the amount but was a lot) , stimulants - plenty of e , back when they contain some decent amount of mda/mdma and not the crap pipes that go around detroit these days , and cocaine (big habit) , and ummm caffeine ? lots of monsters , red bulls , coffee . too much if ya ask me ... but whatever.
yeah am about 6hr into 1 mg DOC experience so lengthy introduction but want to give a kind of preface to where im at with life , to give a better feel to the trip report.
recently (well 3 months ago now) relapsed after having been sober for nearly 4 years , relapse happen about a week before i would of had 4 years (well sober from everything except small marijuana use) dabbled with everything but my demons were def cocaine , alcohol and xanax. relapse was with cocaine , followed by xanax (how else we gonna sleep ) and then of course the one i had the most problems with alcohol. so as far as where im at in life , not a great place , tons of shame , dissapointment and disgust with myself. while coke/alcohhol/xanax were my "drugs of choice" so to say , my most happy experiences were on LSD by far so DOC sparked my interest.
24 hours ago from now i indulged in 1.7g street level cocaine to wake me up from a stuper of drinking wine all evening and fighting with my gf over the phone. did my usual alcholic outburst and said a bunch of childish shit to hurt her because i was mad. been downward spiral with our relationship since i relapsed. she never in recovery and is an alcoholic but anyways to the point. the week prior me and her had a pretty glowing experience i dropped 4 hits of cid , her 1 , we connected great all night , laughed , never felt happier and really thought it was gonna help me change but it was short lived. since relapsing ive been looking into using psyedelics to rid me of my addiction (or just a selfish excuse to trip balls and permagrin all night? either way its nice change of pace). Prior to that no LSD use since 2006. So yeah last night teener of blow followed by countless glasses of wine to fall asleep (funny i get the blow to wake up from my wine stupor and im pounding glass after glass when its gone to come down...smh)...anyways wake up , regretful , order up a ball but dude cant come c me till 6 p.m. so i gotta face the day it seems. check tracking , oh nice surprise my DOC is out for delivery. I spend the morning making up with the gf , walk my dog , a beastly ass doberman pincher
by her house and visit with her and her kid for a min n try n make thigns right. anyways DOC arrives , i plan on waiting to use it but at 6 P.M. i decide i am going to go for a 1mg dose (approx , 2mg pellets , smashed and portioned in half)drank wine from about the time of consumption and throughout
anyways here are my findings , though my introduction will surely be longer then my trip report
********TRIP REPORT*********
6:00 PM - 1 MG [approx] chased with a sip , no gulp who am i kidding of wine...plane was hop in the shower...scratch that were gonna lay on the bed and read the big and dandy doc thread , try and watch dirty pictures (shuglin doc ive been trying to watch but wine has made it near impossible to watch it in full or remember wtf happen so figure throw it on try again)... interenet taking my attention tho so pause the flick
6:45 PM - first alert i think. reminding me of lsd come up. im terrible at explaining my tripping experience but kind of electric feel i think is the word.... ive showered today but i feel gross after a night of powder and way to much drinking so hop in shower.. take long shower feels great
7:45 PM nothing really much different in the hour that passed but def feel like a drug is coming on... around 1hr:45-2hr mark things really starting to get there...throw some music on and it sounds great...color enhancements...kinda weird body buzz , just feels great laying on the bed and getting lost in the music..
8:15 PM jamming out to dubstep on the iphone , thoughts about what a bummer that is because a few months ago i blew out my subwoofer to my home theatre system and how great it would sound . little self realization how i justify it to myself to waste ungodly amounts of $$$ on some of my recent blow binges ($500+ weekends) but havent managed to replace a subwoofer that cost what $150-200 and ill get prolonged enjoyment from...ahh anways music still great on my iphone but doesnt do dubstep justice. trippy effects coming up in this time...trails when i move my hands , music has me doing this weird finger dance , music is great , mild CEV but i had to really concentrate and the visuals started to shape into what i think would be faces , hard to explain but very different than lsd.. i open my eyes at one point to exit because something sinister started to shape up i felt , prob due to bad mindset coming into the trip and decide to change the bassnectar to something a little more loving... RUSKO!!!! yeah this is great... for next hour i pretty much just chill , i notice when i walk im very slow motion just like on LSD , i call it "grandpa walking" , if i stare at the wood stained fan blades they dance and breath a little like if I had took a hit or two of cid...nothing profound but def some visual even at this low dose.. so i just lay with a great almost opiate like? body buzz and enjoy the music... def tripping but no mindfuck (dumb word but whatever its true!!) like id have on lsd , but still feel like communication wouldn't be very easy even though my thoughts are clear...weird. i know my girl gets off soon and im kind of stressing about trying to talk to her and keep my cool (as she didn't want me to use drugs today)...
9:00 PM (3 hours in) . GF calls , brief convo , i dont confess what ive done but i def feel like i handled the convo good. By the end of this hour I'd say basically all the "trippyness" has left...
9:30-9:45 (3.5-3.75hr in) sometime in here i text my girl , pretty much apologising for all the bullshit ive been doing lately...spend few hours chatting with her , confessing i sampled the DOC , felt a lot of euphoria in this time , early in the text i even cried a little bit not weeping tears but eyes swelled up and tears were present but not overly sad or depressed. i rarely cry aside from when i get really wasted and fight with her ill usually freak out say a bunch of mean shit , hurt myself , and sometimes tear up , same shit i use to do but other than that i rarely cry. should note that the day after my lsd trip last week i did cry a lot. it felt good in a way but by the end of the day i just felt so manic. it started in the morning in the shower when i washed my face i realized the bruising from a alcohol fit where i punched myself , and followed by cocaine thearpy between me and the miss...that was the night prior to last weeks lsd trip..anyways getting off topic... but yah from 9:45 on it still has a touch of trippyness but kinda reminds me of rolling in a way , like conversation is coming very fluid , opening up to my gf , really wishing she was here etc...
12:00 (6 hours in) basically where im at now... trippy effects long gone but def still mood elevation , kinda regretting it because sleep doesn't seem like its gonna be easy , but i feel great , had a great conversation with the woman i love , am excited to try this at a higher dosage (thinking 3mg , 4mg if i can't hold off a couple weeks to account for tolerance)....
not a whole lot to say about it though. can def eat on this. have only ate some string cheese but ive feeled like poo all day from alcohol hangover , and fridge isn't offering anything im craving but ill prob eat shortly. back in the day i remember not being able to eat on pysedlics , or having a hard time at least , but while i was coming up on LSD last week i went out to eat and eating was easy , i ate my leftovers while i was in the peak of my trip , although it took a long time (stir fry and it took a lot of self convincing those onions and peppers were not in fact worms but something i should be eating)... id say eating would come easier on this in comparision but doses really aren't good comparision (id say this felt like maybe a hit of cid? im not sure if ive ever just took 1 hit so hard to say). hate to compare it with lsd so much as it's certainly different but it's the closest thing ive taken that resembles this....after the trippy effects wear off tho kind of resembles rolling , but not quite...def euphoria , contitment , open-ness... but not to the point im texting random people in my phone to remind them i love them haha....
well now its
12:30 (6.5 hr in) - Im stimulated but in a weird way. Def don't feel like doing much , stomach wants food but i don't want to get off the bed lol , still feel very upbeat , stimulation isn't bad in a coke moreish way (wish i could sleep) but kind of annoyed at myself if i end up awake throughout the night as sleep hasnt came easy the past 3 days and working with about 4-5hr/night for past 3 days...oh no real want to re-dose throughout except a little just recently , kind of wanting the trippy effects to come back but i can hold off (which is saying a lot since im compulsive in everything i do and never been the type to be able to keep drugs around , even LSD i can't refrain from redosing even tho i know its a waste and i should of just dosed more to begin with when it comes to cid)...gonna hold off and try this at a higher dosage... def think it's gonna leave me kind of imancipated during the peak at 4mg , but cid does the same more or less at the peak so whatever. ..
so yeah this ended up a pretty big ramble but first impressions is i really like this drug. after the trippy effets has left im kinda just feeling a great sense of contintment , that everythings ok , and im usually racing a million miles an hour in my head , over money , future , and everything else which leads to a stressfull life but this whole time i haven't had any of those thoughts...
sorry to compare to lsd so much but this is my first RC and so far it seems very LSDish but def pronounced difference. Super stoked to see what i can get out of this. Wonder if it's had any addiction curing abilities like ibogaine...guess any pysedlic is capable of this , everything can be realized during the trip its all about trying to make it a reality post trip i guess... honestly interested to see it's effects in higher doses and sub 1mg doses maybe as a mood/social enhancer? i feel like during peak i may of been able to hide it aside from the permagrin but had i taken a little less def think i could do day to day stuff....haha prob sound like im gonna turn this into my new addiction...not my plan though , just curiousity and to much time on my hands so we will see.
ah lastly (hm maybe way things are going) pupil dilation , around peak i went to the mirror and def dilated or i should say "dancing" comparable to lsd/e pills ...also no adverse side effects... no anxiety , no nause , im not entirely sure what is meant by "body load" so can't comment but i generally dont puke from any drugs... oh and could def see sex possible at least at this low dose (1mg) , around the peak , i started feeling aroused and even put a porn on briefly and was able to achieve a erection (wow this feels kinda weird but hey i love drugs i can sex on so pretty important)...and to compare once again with lsd near peak theres no way im achieving an erection , basically because sex is the last thing on my mind , but the comedown/platue of a lsd trip i find can be great for sex , if u can keep urself together that is , last time i found myself bursting out laughing at how serious it was and telling my gf how the more we laugh the harder i get...goofy yeah. this seems less so and i'd like to explore sex on this for sure , who knows though how intense a 4mg peak will be , might not be saying the same thing , ill report back!
hope im right in thinking you guys don't do the SWIMMING thing or refer to usage in third person or whatever if so delete my post cuz i incriminated the fuck out myself but afaik nothing I've done is illegal , and if it is well FUCK YOU MY BODY MY MIND , is how i feel about that law..
again sorry if this was an entirely innapropriate place to post my rambling but really felt the need to type this out. hopefully the grammar didn't turn some off or the lack of sentence making ability and jumbled thoughts but yep until next time
started to think if this stim is gonna keep up i may as well just dose again... i dont have any real responsibilities (tomorrow or never so why do i spend so much time stressing everything ill never know).... i honestly feel like at this point im pretty much gonna be awake until .... well who knows... and if that's the case i may as well try out a real dose and just spend tomorrow reflecting and hopefully falling asleep at a regular time , cuz as is im prob not falling asleep until 5 a.m. or later and while this stimulation isn't negative in anyway i just hate being on that time schedule id rather just pull a 36 hour awake period and sleep great... looks like i convinced myself....haha well ill report back gonna go for 3mg maybe 4 idk. prob add weed on top at some point which i hadn't done...fucking 2 hour come up is a bitch tho
Ok so , 1:17 (7.2 hr after 1mg drop) We are re dosing 3mg. Attempted to break the pill up , no idea why , because my addict mind says itll hit faster that way but i gave up because these are some hard fuckers and i started worrying that it's gonna fly all over the place. So anyhow , downed the remainder of my 1mg dose on top of another full 2mg , so 3mg.
Lets see where this goes.... As is i plan to be awake until tomorrow , hopefully pass out normalish time , maybe a lil earlier considering (out at 11p.m. on a friday , wow that'd be nice!!)
I play poker for a living and weekends are when i do that but taking tomorrow off , not so sure I'd be able to sit there and know I'm profiting off anothers misfortune during the afterglow/self realization this drug offers , so change of plans , buddy wants to go to "gibraltor" which is a big flea market i guess youd say but tons of cool shit , good deals , and they host shows (guns , antiuques , whatever really) so gonna take him up on that since I'll def be stimulated at that point likely feeling good (fingers crossed) , hoping i don't get any sleep deprivation induced hallucinations , had those from 48+hr coke binges and wow no fun , can't imagine the hell a meth addict or mpdv goes through , god no. I should be good though , prob exhausted but at the same time i feel like i can rest my body while on this just laying vegging out enjoying what it has to offer so maybe that will refeul me.
Plan to smoke at about 1 hour after consumption in the hopes of quicker come up/different effect. Likely bubble hash as I'm not a huge fan of straight bud , prefer hash or edibles. Wine is nearly gone. Fuck it. Cigs on the other hand are looking slim. Pack a day smoker , more if under the influence. During peak on 1mg i had no urge to smoke , i smoked once out of pure neccesity (guess not really but whatever its a hard fucking drug haha). So hopefully this pack will last until the after effect where ill be left with the choice to quit until i link up with my buddy or walk/ride my bike to the store (2 many duis , no license)... I live in what most would consider the ghetto (tho i dont) so might be interesting characters i encounter at 4-5a.m. , wont be the first time though.
Excited to report back......About to put the music on through the speakers (minus the subwoofer boooooo) hit some hash and let this do what it does.... not sure if im feeling first effects just in the span of typing this rant , hard to tell as im already under the influence but my permagrin had left from earlier and it has reappeared , in a more sinister way , like im laughing at myself or something!!! Ill report back when i can put this experience into one post though , i could type and type for hours but who fucking caresssssss!!! Good morning and hope everyone has a blessed day!!
edity - make that 4mg. , 20 minutes after 3mg dose , talked self into another half of "pellet" . justification is gf wants to try this shortly and i don't want to give her more than .5-1mg first go and well i felt i might not get desired effects as 3mg was my plan for initial "trip" dose and given tolerance we should add another MG. Fuck it. Drug addict thinking! At least it's not with a substance so destructive to my well being and may offer some positive things!!!
JAmming out to La roux reflictions are protection where i keep mis hearing reflection are distractions for "my erections are distractions" , whoops. seems more fitting though my way
-also feeling a bit , how do i see this , gassy? pretty sure i read this is a side effect for some , not to sure if its from all the alcohol consumed the night prior or an effect of this , can't be for sure. haven't ate much still though. chased the last 1mg down with milk though which tasted suprisingly good considering i can't stand milk on basically any other substance except sober or weed. usually leaves me gagging and kinda felt like i was playing with fire but had to try it.
k +20min since re dose , going to smoke hash , i hope i can create a trance like state throughout the early morning that resembles sleep but who know's we'll see. will prob edit or post again when i feel the come up but doubt ill be doing much posting during the peak as 1mg had me feeling like it was hard to communicate at the peak. should serve for a fun task during the beautiful afterglow (which i hope is even more profound with the higher dose)
double edit - 45-50minutes feeling first alert again , when im about to trip some of the time i get really serious , kind of scary dark feeling to me which usually subsides into a much more happy place but def feeling that at the moment. went from having the music playing directly off the iphone now plugged into the stereo system and WOW this shit sure does enhance music. Perhaps the hash is making the re dose come up quicker , not sure but def in that mindstate im always in before i trip where i know im about to be in for a ride but am still able to control things...not sure for how long though haha
not sure if it's just all in my head but so many things i read about this drug ring true now that ive been under it's influence. one major thing was a comparision to music and lsd , where with lsd , music is for sure awesome great and all that but it's more background noise to your trip whereas with this i just feel like i hear everything and am much more "IN" the music. Hard to put in words. My experiences are lining up a lot like Xoroth (sorry i butchered it i know and it's as easy as scrolling up to find all your useful posts but im fucking whacked my dude and aint got time for that) but anyway your posts have been great in here along with your erowid trip reports and im finding that either ive talked myself into letting this drug effect me how it has effected you or it's really just giving me that journey. Either way pretty sure you or bluedolphin's reports are where i seen all the LSD comparisions (esp the music one which is def exact thoughts at the moment).
1 hour after re dose - def got that electric feeling i love and am all so familiar with!! hope this takes me to a place my glowing lsd experiences have. I've hit the hash maybe 3-4 times in last hour , just laying totally engulfed in the dubstep. shortly going to shut labtop off tho as id like more darkness i think for peak and gonna see what it has to offer in terms of CEVS. I've allowed my beloved son , panzer the 100lb doberman pincher to come on the bed , whereas he was restrained from doing so during the last time. With LSD the other week he reacted towards me sorta weirdly but than again i think any human would also not knowing what i was under the influence of. Just this weird , scared kind of look. He's pretty tired so hope i don't spook him and he cherish every moment i let him on the bed with me and I'm feeling bad because since I fucked up and relapsed i've also on numerous occasion let him drink alcohol (which i haven't done in a month because i notice he's a fucking addict and it's not good for them!!!) and sometimes ill get drunk and beat him up although given his agressive nature i think he enjoys it and im not talking about im hurting him just im more agressive and play fight with him (though some may think it's excessive , oh well , hopefully i don't sound like to much of a dick head here)
more edits - wow , likely only play with this on monthly basis given time u gotta dedicate but wow i kinda like the effect of re dose....the stim euphoria , contentness afterglow , feeeling the trippy come up is quite beuatiful , thought i think re dosing 1-3 hours before the time i decided would of made this more pronounced as the waves of euphoria were more present whereas it kinda just nestled into a contentment feeling that i lack so much in my day to day life. anyways only hour after re dose and words are randombly bouncing with the music , everythings taking on that breathing effect , im going to hit the hash once more , a cig and than lights off for hours of what i hope will be bad ass CEVs (not a big fan of OEV when by myself haha i get scary off cid...all i see is sinister shadows , things turning into spiders which im a phob about , have had snakes present in trips tho which is really cool but im take that precaution with this as well and hopefully emerse myself in CEV's and not let any possible OEV set a bad tone for this trip)
- Official one hour mark after re dose - last update ill be making for a while... weed def enhanced this and may of quicken the come up because i can let go any minute but im still holding on , by a string cheese basically gripping sanity as looking at this forum and words breath and random colors ive never seen have random bursts , and music is WOWOWOWOWOW so much better through the speakers even in the absense of the sub. Yeah another thing i noticed is with my low dose I noticed throughout i could keep clear head , and enjoyed reading/writing a lot more than usual and felt like i could do both nearing peak. Dont plan to test that theory this time as ill be peaking in the next hour and not gonna waste my time on reading reports this time as i should be the guinue pig living out a report!!!
Not sure if i prefer the clear head ness or the mindfuck , both i feel have there places , and feel weird to say i actually enjoy the mindfuck of acid. it just feels like such clarity after sitting silent for an hour barely being able to put together a thought to say something so fucking simple but at the same time get this burst of euphoria and feeling that it was such a deep thought or statement...idk hard to explain but kinda something i can only relate with "mindfuck"
-i lied im update again
- yeah any time i wanna let go ill be in that world , can't wait but had to change music and figured i should note this as itd end up forgotten. when i changed music to stereo instead of listening to albums i used pandora and the dubstep channel which started putting on some really dark stuff and felt it was going to negatively add so change to "dead mau" , im really lost for music suggestions as far as electronic , never been a fan but lately with my introduction to dubstep i've started to appriciate more and more electronic. for reference im about as consistent with my drug of choice as with my favorite music , it bounces the fuck around , fitting to how my life is going , I'm a huge hip hop fan , rock fan from alternative to punk to metal , and everywhere in between , but in last couple years starting in 2009 i was into hip hop , but with a message not the shit on the radio something i could relate to , and not just relate to cuz i can relate to all the negative shit , being trapped in the drug culture but what im saying is the positive rap , the hard shit to find , sha stimuli , prince ea , reef the lost cauze , one be lo , elzhi ... shit with substance , than 2010-2011 was all jazz , just all the greats , im to wrecked to name them all but fuck i was feeling jazz that year , but 2012....2012......2012!!!!!!!! DUBSTEP , can't get enough of it and being from detroit and being the second generation to a lot of ravers , seeing friends big bro's n cats we look up to (R.iP. those buried ) i never fully appriciated any kind of electronic music which i found weird. I just always played it off to that tough guy "not my scene" excuse... idk...anyways dead ma5 i guess it is as i have no other ideas on positive electronic station to set to although i think after writing this i had enough , yikes , kinda accepted and dismissed this music in 15 minutes but all this hip hop talk and jazz greats makes me wont to peak off into some dizzy gissseppe (not even trying at this point to spell lmao) or some home town hero elzhi ,
yep 1.5 in re dose fully prnounced , later guys , sentences are just a bouncing ive never been able to experience reading and its rather quite comical , entertaining ? im just left with a lsd like permagrin , one more hit of hash and i really gotta quit saying this but SHUT off the cpu!!! explore music , CEVS!!! report in 4-5 hours id guess......
1.5 hour , yeah not cool. was totally immersed , everything off , felt orgasmic like i was tossing turning , kind of crawled in a ball as im experiencing coldness and great time for a pandora ad , idk wtf it was maybe some movie preview? but something about true story bunch of poeople murdered just like worse possible shit i could of hurt. wow what a trip kill that was hahaha. back to my own music fuck a pandora i paused the preview and am scared to go back although i was just managing to wabble close enough to change the dead ma5 to some hip hop but back to dubstep it seems as thats all i really have on my iphone stored music wise besides some more sinister hip hop that i dont see any need to visit on this trip.... and to scared to go back to pandora lol. freaked me the fuck out.
1:45 re dose - communication would be hard on my way to a peak , not sure why i feel like i have to shut off cpu as this is actually quite entertaining ive never looked at text while tripping but this is nice and weird i can lot somewhat sane thoughts flow while experiencing this . pretty bummed i just let a fucking pandora ad come in between my pysdeclic orgasim but from what i read this is a substance with a prolonged come up , peak , platue so i feel as if im rushing myself and pretending i don't have the time to explore this , CEVs , and the other aspects....i rush my mind like this on LSD as it's usually not as long of an experience as I'd like it to be at least in terms of the peak
oh but i started that thought and didnt finish which will annoy me if i don't. that fucking ad , why did i let it put such a damper on my mood there? see with LSD i think id be so lost in the mindfuck at this point that would of def been a table turner and this would end a darker trip (which i don't mind at all but at this time id like more happy/glowy/positive) and that fucking ad was sinister , ill revisit it in the morning but idk if ads will stay paused that long? see now im kind of curious because i love scary flicks for me and my girl and this shit was really fucking scary !!!!!!! not gonna give in though cuz was way to sinister feeling i nearly jumped out of the bed and franticlly hitting buttons to stop the sound
2 hour mark - lots of visuals , everything is alive , music is great , want to compare to lsd visuals but very different at the same time and feel much more in control of where i let this trip take me , which im grateful for giving that unexpected freaky ad/movie trailer(Or flat out hallucination , we'll never know cuz im to scared to hit pandora at present time lmao permagrinnning just thinking how tough i try to potray on the outside but im sitting here scared to put an ad on pandora and am in utter awe and bliss with how beautiful life is.......................
cigs becoming less and less e njoyable. which is good because were down to 4 and i cannot and will not be going in public for a good 2-4-6 hours. 2 to 4 to 6 you read that right. i don't know yet. but a walk to the store during afterglow in the a.m. will prob provide great euphoria , i think ill let my dog join , likely not a bad idea given the murder rate this year in this little town i call home .. ill be convinced of lifes beauty if i can walk to the store at 5 a.m. with even half of this positive thinking... amongst all the side walk trash ... beer bottles , needles , baggies , beggars , possible conners that you gotta keep an eye open for ... through the constant noise , the sirens , the planes (i counted planes on my lsd trip , literally a close landing plane every 10 minutes).... and if i can still see beauty out of this? than wow! to most this would be a depressing walk. i havent did it yet so i gotta shut up but im actually looking forward to this , which says a lot
not a many 5 a.m. cig walks have came from a experience im looking forward to....usually in suicidal regret mode by that time....gonna leave that negative thought process behind tho i can feel it will fuck this up..
so in control but same time just fucking crazy .... for comparision sake visuals on lsd never really get here until 4+hits
def jaw clkeanching during peak...so thats a side affect....my hands are asleep but thats due to being on text and typing this report out....
ive spaced this out a lot i know but really feeling it like crazy now... gonna pour a glass more of wine and prob not be able to move much in near future so feel like i should get this done now but im drawn to typing what i should be doing!!weird.but yes gonna try and get into a trance like state , going to try and walk so will report on that , maybe eat some food as i feel this weird feeling of needing to prepare for this peak like my body is telling me get ready fool this is gonna be a ride...i don't know... such out of control feelings but feeling so in control is really foreign to me but its quite lovely feeling like i can let go if i want and know that itll catch me.
god i cannot stress enough how bad of a overtone the pandora ad or whatefver it was has made this kind of crappy. when i try and let go now i keep hearing the "brutal blah blah blah shit" that the ad was saying....i think im a bit sensitive because for almost 2 years now i've lived without cable television (aside from watching it when at others but with a whole different way of looking at it now) and my brain may not be used to these sublimingal like ads...for an otherwise what i assume movie , has now led this into a fear direction that i hope ill be able to rid it of but as of now when i try and let go im filled back with the negativeness i felt when i heard whatever the ad was promoting , and abstinece from cabil telvision has been 100% self=restrictions...... got into a conspiracy phase during sobriety and kind of felt like turning off the tube would help and i def think it does but at the same time it's good to be able to look back into that world with a more trained eye. overall though i don't miss much! thanks to 2012 land i can just dl any show i find of interest (not many) , and can rid myself of all your advertisment (except pandora u cunt!!!)
(2 hours and some change in ) wow , looked at mirror and cant really lookat myself to funny but if lsd is a permagrin this is whole another level , biggest cheese ive seen myself have , i can't contain bursting out laughing just thinking aboout this run in , i had merely seconds ago with myself in the mirror.
--dog is started to give me very weirded looks. heavy exhaling , i thnk he should go away for peak
--had forgottun i changed back to stored music and ending of folder was a very depressing. not sure why but feel like i should edit that in haha. euphoria , fun , trippiness returned as soon as music did. when it ended i had a strange empty , which almost returned to a darker place when i peered into the kitchen . seeing your dining area from your sleeping area was quite a humbling realization in itself. feels kind of profound , no clue.
well still alive and well , fully tripping , though far from peak 12 hours later...gonna need some time to report back....
well still alive and well , fully tripping , though far from peak 12 hours later...gonna need some time to report back....
general thought was very sedated trip , i feel like i fell in some sort of trance once i shut the elctronics off , 3: a.m. - 6:30 felt like minutes and I'm having a tough time knowing if i was awake during this... regardless def had side effects , heavy body tempeture issues , gassy , tremor like... i feel like i enjoyed the peak , but truth is i was prob just squirming around in what felt very orgasmic like state
6:30ish get up and feel very intoxicated in a alcohol like way ... spend the better part of the next hour convincing my dog im in fact ok and get him into his crate as i think he's seen enough and was irresponsible of me to let him be in the room during peak...
feel like during my 2-3 hour trance that music def guided me and i imagine during that time i changed music/folders a couple times. i felt a lot of the darker dubstep i generally like was way to negative and sountrack of this trip has been La Roux-La Roux , specifically "Tigerlilly" ...
From 7:30-11:00 i fall back into a somewhat trance like state that i can only describe as "was i asleep?" ,
I still have a ciggerate left amazingly , i think between 3:30-11:00 i had one when i felt like things were getting rough ,
Everything has that "dur!!! day after trip how do i tie my shoes" takes me a very long time to re learn how to make hot coco , but after about an hour and a shower in between i had a somewhat decent cup of hot coco.
Visuals still present , but mainly in sense of everything breathing/color enhancements ...
12:30 g/f on her way to drop off a pack of smokes ... oh boy ...
very akward half hour , where i can just tell how annoyed she is at the situation but at the same time when that would usually hurt me or make me felt put down i can see behind that she loves me and her annoyedness is well warrented so all in all wasn't terrible but even +12 hour later i find it hard to communicate and could not talk to a person who i couldn't confide in that i am tripping.
anyways were at about +13 hours in now and trip has not quite plateued.
General feelings is I enjoyed this time but I think I'd like to stay in the 2mg range in the future but am not regretful i gave 4mg a try , just seems all a bit intense to be.
so side effects - tremors , heath regulation , gass , veins/muscles feel super weird and kind of a scared me at one point during the peak when i looked at my arms during peak ....
