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Do you think we have a destiny or do you belive that everything is open?

lars90

lars90

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Well actually I have always wanted to have more friends I have always wanted to be different I have never been happy the way I am I am always trying to change. But is it even possible? I mean the term "people have to except me the way you are" is total shit, because if your a mean jerk who does not have any friends but wants friends there not just gonna come from alone.

So My question is it even possible for me to change I have read lots of books of neurology because I want to study it when I get to the point. So basically, and this is a very debatable, don't really have control over the way we live. Heres an example:
Johns parents had john when they were in there late twenty, they live in a row house house, have 2 children and his dad was always a ladys man. His mother is very good in math.
John is an ace in math he is a banker now he is 35 he lives in a row house, he is married with a beautiful woman they have 2 children. John begins to think about his live. The longer he thinks about it the more he understands that it might have already have been programmed in that his life was gonna be this way.

See so what I'm trying to say with this is, we might not have that much influence on are life.

What if we are not able to change. MY parents are not unsocial or weren't unsocial but I don't think I'm old enough to understand I haven't had enough experience. So I just wanted to hear your thoughts to this.


Do you think we destiny or do you belive that everything is open?

Hope my grammar isn't to awful. I let this text run though a spell checker so my spelling should be fine :)
 
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Lars, it's very simple really. Everyone is going along in life, doing their own thing. There are many commonalities within the general populous, and we're constantly interacting with people and in the same space with the ability to interact with even more. Everyone else is in the same position, yet we act very differently towards this. Some people aren't looking to create more relationships, some people find it easy to talk to strangers, others are filled with desire but find it hard to do so. There are lots of different ways we act, let alone the influences and variables upon which dictates action and demeanour.
Now, since everything you've ever done has lead to this moment right now, as you sit behind a chair viewing the formation of pixels and being influenced by my direct stream of consciousness, this will in turn affect everything else. The timing of everything you do changes.
Now, if you believe all the interaction has meaning, then when you cross paths with somebody and create some sort of relationship from that, you could call it destiny.
If you believe it's all random, you can believe it's an amazing coincidence and create a meaningful relationship through that, and you could call it amazing luck. You could call it bad luck. You could call it whatever.

Anyway, enough of that, the reason you don't have friends is mainly your lack of effort in meeting new people and creating bonds. The reason you have the friends you have is from decisions they've made and you've both been in the same place at the same time and put in some form of effort to interact in a fruitful and bonding manner.

If you want to be different, change. It's your own volition, and changing your actions is your responsibility. It's up to you to guide your life, because although you're at the mercy of forces out of your control, you're in complete control within the freedom you do have and it's up to you to utilise that freedom and shape what you want.

People do have to accept you for what you are. They have no option because your actions aren't controlled by them, although they can be influenced. People might try to reject you, but it's impossible not to accept the data your senses are picking up. They might hate you and get away from you, but while you're there they have to accept your presence. It can't be escaped without physically escaping.

Also, what you perceive as somebody you wouldn't want to befriend (a mean jerk for example) somebody else may want to befriend.

Possessing the desire to have friends has no inherent influence on whether you have friends. The desire can directly influence your behaviour, in which case it does have an affect, but simply possessing desire has no causation with the external world.

Now, any reasonable person knows they wouldn't be the same person if they were born into different circumstances. Different culture, time, place, family, genes, etc. But how different do you think you'd be if you were born just 5 minutes earlier?

Now I Googled 'Neologie' and as far as I can tell you're referring to German literature of the Christian variety to do with Enlightenment? Verbal Inspiration? I'm not sure..

In your example, John's parents and the environment he is in has a major impact on him. John could have left home, his parents could have died, they could have won the lottery, he could have been raped, or murdered, or moved to the Carribean. He made the decisions (or lack thereof) to end up in the position he is in.

Don't get me wrong, the amount of control we have is both minor and major. There are physical laws we have to abide by, and the sooner we surrender to our lack of control in those aspects of life the more attention we can give to the aspects we do control. You can manipulate many scenarios in many ways. You can manipulate people to like you, or hate you. You can manipulate glass to break, and the sensory input of another being.

I'm not going to go into this further as nobody should be oblivious to such a blatant reality.

I mean, some people find it very easy to socialise and it really does come naturally and easily and just flows through them. Other people don't possess the same skill, but they have confidence and adapt to their circumstance and surmount the difference. Other people put in no effort and are self-defeating, and then want to look for other powers to blame for their regrets instead of taking responsibility and never experience true repentance (not in any religious sense, but experiencing and taking the responsibility whilst understanding their actions. The contrite is the one with more power for change as they emotionally experience their-


There are both things out of our control and things susceptible to our control. To say there is only either is foolish and stupid.

I'm sure rangrz will jump in and make a decent post.

Just keep off the drugs 'til your brain has developed a bit more, continue to feed any interest you have, try to cultivate passion and meaning, and take responsibility for your freedom, even if you decide to act similarly.
 
i went on a crime spree in my sick and twisted mind last month, and in my dark fantasies my mp3 player, computer, cell phone, 300 dollar watch, and gold chain all broke. i now believe in karma.
 
haha i don't give a shit anymore about anything and lately i've been constipated; just another instance of karma. When you start looking for it, you can see it everywhere.
 
You control your destiny. Are you gonna be president? Probably not. Can you have at least some of the american dream? Maybe... If you want it. Work for it. What ever your "it" is. It should be doable.
 
I believe our death is predetermined. So forget your fear of flying, or driving Don't worry about it, cuz when it is your time, it is your time.
 
Everything is open. That being said, if you do what your parents want you to do, things like that, then yeah it does become kind of pre-determined. I think there is a larger chance of you being similar to your parents - just because they raised you. That being said, it is not a guarantee. Just a better chance. Many people turn out differently.
 
First of all Id like to thank you for your great inspiering post. Wow I love your typing skills.
Im not that mkind of person who has no friends I have actually quit a few more than people that are actually happy with their lives. But I want more. I dont know why but I always want more I cant be happy with what I have. In the last week I almost every day or every day I did stuff with friends. But nobody I hang out with has my conmunicatin level I have no Idea how to really translate this I guess standard. Im not trying to say they are all to low but they are ether to high or to low Im in the middle to dumb for my school but to smart for the school system under me. I hardly have any self-confidence because theres always something that doesnt fit. I am always trying to change. and my frineds do say that they dont really know me they cant explain me because Im always diffrent even when Im not trying to change. I want a personallity people like I want frinds thatdont mind being around me in groups. I want enough self-confidence to get a girl I hardly know to like me to be able to interact with her but it feels like its jsut not possible for me. There have always been ups and downs for me. For 3 years everyone hated me I was that kid who nobody liked and then sudently everyone liked me again for like 3 years, Then I got into a huge fight with a some guy who was mentally stonger than me had more self-confidence and was jsut better than me. I stzrarted being mean to everyone and after that everyone hated me again and let me tell you it is not easy to come upfrom that level back to normal where everybody is nice to you again. Then I went to the USA where for the first time I actually felt accsepted I had 2 best friends that always wantred to hang out with me. Then I moved back to germany everyone hated me for a year than I mangaed to get up again and now Im pretty much fine with everybody. See its like it always changes I dont wanna go back top the spot where nobody likes me but even if I try I just dont manage to change. Oh gosh I hate my life!

The spell checker fucked it up it is supose to mean neurology

But the thing is john is there where he is none of those mentioned things did happen even though they could have. Even if his parents would have dieed he could have the same life. If he wone in the lotery maybe the fact that he would live in a diffrent sized house would change but hes still the same. HEs still alike with his parents.

You exsamples are great and they do enlighten me, if you want you could give some more
 
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Lars, I'm always on my level. Being serious is immature, and ridiculing bullshit is in no way immature.
What you define as 'mature' has nothing to do with letting your brain develop all that white matter and shit. You can do drugs if you want, nobody can stop you, I'm just letting you know it's better for your (psychological) health if you wait half a decade before any extensive use.
 
I firmly believe in destiny. I believe that we have a fate, a destiny, that we have to fulfill.
That's how I quit oxy. I realized I wasn't destined to be an opiate addict, and haven;t looked back since.
Yeah, our life may be predetermined, so you may think, why does anything I do matter, since it will already happen anyways?
Well, as intelligent humans, it's not that it's going to happen, it's how strong we are to deal with what's going to happen, and to experience it firsthand. I believe that there are different routes along the way, and different choices we can make, but in the end, we will meet our fate. What matters though, is that we can still make choices, which is what defines us. But nothing can change our fate. That, I firmly believe.

You can not change what's going to happen.. what's going to happen is going to happen. What you can do though, is change how you react to it all, and how you deal with it. There is a timeline. There is our birth, and then the line ends at our death. Everything in between is left up to our personal choice, but no matter what, we are going to experience our predetermined destiny at the end. You can;t do anything about it. We all have a destiny, someone who we were born to be. What matters is, what we do in between life and death.
 
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I think that it's open since life is ever changing. There's that quote from Gandhi "You must be the change you want to see in the world."

The whole example of the guy you wrote about in the example in your original post could have turned out 1,000 or more different ways than it did with him being raised by both parents, getting married, living in a nice house, having a stable career, etc. It could have turned out these ways: being raised by one parent his mom, by his dad, by another relative, being put into foster care, being born unable to walk or with one arm, being born with a major debilitating mental illness that he does not respond well to treatment for at all, being born HIV+, being born unable to hear/speak or talk, being born mentally retarded, with him getting married, getting divorced, not having children, being something other than heterosexual, living in a nice house, living on the streets for a period of life or for most of his life, living in a small apartment or house with roommates, living alone in an apartment or small house and being single, being a banker, not having a job at all, being employed only temporarily, being fired/let go because of downsizing from his job as a banker, etc.
 
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I have always wanted to be different I have never been happy the way I am I am always trying to change. But is it even possible?
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A more meaningful question would be to ask if it possible not to change. It is self evident with simple observation that everyone, and everything, is ever changing. I think for it not to, well, entropy in an isolated system would also have to stay the same, something we know does not happen.

The longer he thinks about it the more he understands that it might have already have been programmed in that his life was gonna be this way.
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Life has far too much uncertainty in it to be able to be programmed as such.

Do you think we destiny or do you belive that everything is open?
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Neither. Some things are not open, you are never going become a bear or something like that, you know, the physically nonsensical things that are excluded by reality. But of the stuff you are talking about, much of it is open.

In what way are you "mean" to everyone man? Cause unless you are really going over the top, SOMEONE will find that attitude charming. Why so mean anyways? You got in a fight with someone or some shit? lolwut, who cares about that, forget it.
 
I belive in destiny, but I don't like the mystical connotation that comes with that word for it. I simply believe that with enough known variables the outcome of any scenario can be accurately predicted; that there is no such thing as truly random events and that chaos is merely a label for events that cannot yet be understood but eventually will be as knowledge excels.

To relate that more to the topic at hand: I am the product of my environment and through personal experience have come to terms with many modes of thinking that work, and many that don't. My dad was a skilled labourer and my mom was an information specialist, and although neither of those terms could be considered their job titles it is essentially what they with the tools they used to earn a living. I realize now that in my own way I am on a path that combines the essences of the work they did and hoping to improve upon their methods is, subconsciously, the reason I chose this path over the endless other possibilities.

Also, if you read the bios of visionaries and assorted great men you will find there is often a lot in them about the relationship they had with their parents and what kind of people they had as parents. Very interesting to see how the environments great men grew up in shaped their thoughts and motivations.
 
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
 
ParappaTheRapper said:
"You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove." - Timothy Leary
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Mmmm I like that.


Laars - I believe in destiny - everything and everyone has their place in the universe, each of us have multiple potential paths, you can choose to do one of these if you're not up for a big challenge in life or if you want to prove something to yourself and the world you can take them on one at a time (or all at once haha), and be a wellrounded individual, someone who is truly wise and has something amazing to offer the world.

But there are some paths which are predestined I believe this.

I have visions ( I see flashes of people's future potential lives), and each of us can choose to either be a waste of air, or seek our altruistic spiritual/creative path in order to give something to the rest of humanity - many choose the path of least resistance, and many choose greatness.

Listen to what the universe is telling you, think about your gifts which you have, skills you were good at when you were younger/now, and dreams of career you had when you were a small child, before you lost your innocence and pure vision.

Often we would like to think we have control over everything in our life, because otherwise life could be really scary - but isn'tthat exciting too? Just going with the flow, andd taking what opportunities the world throws at you. It's great to have a dream, and if you have one great - work out how to fulfill it, but if you don't just take any opportunities that can build up your skill set - so when times are hard you can throw yourself at any of these "fallbacks".

Ich [hope] du verstehe das. My german is really reaall rusty :( haha :)

Mods I don't think SLR is the place for this. But good luck bruv
 
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