(DMT/unknown dose) First Time: Accepting death

[lysergic kitty]

For a while i’d been curious about dmt but unsure if i wanted to try it until a certain festival over new years. I was in a friends campsite when it came up in conversation that i hadn’t tried it, yet. Next thing i know i’m looking at a baggy that had, “enough for 2 trips or an interplanetary dose”, in it.
After me and a friend got everything we needed we wandered off to the edge of the site and found a quiet and secluded area under 2 trees. We set everything up, they sat behind me and i packed up the interplanetary dose. Before i was even half way through the cone i start to hear this really intense ringing sound that just seems to be building up more and more, everything seems to be becoming further away and time appears to have slowed to the point where i can see everything vibrating and resonating with in certain frequencies, fractals begin to fold out of this. At this point i’m about 3 quarters through my cone, i stop ripping it and my friend grabs it off me. I then shut my eyes and lay down, next thing i know it feels like the ringing sound has built up to the point where my bodys exploded and a ton of bricks has hit me in the back of the head followed by a flash of light in my vision.
I’ve then opened my eyes and looked around, i can see my friend still sitting there except there is now 2 entitys made of light on either side of her and a ring of spirits standing around us, all i can say is “i’m dead, i’m dead” a few times. When i’d accepted the fact that i was dead, i felt immediately at peace with it then the 2 entitys were kind of giving the vibe of “hey, come look what we have to show you”, i’ve had a another flash in my vision and i was now completely out of body looking at infinitely detailed and colourful fractals with new patterns coming from the old ones.
this has flashed to the flower of life on a colourful background, which then all of a sudden just changed to nothingness, i was pure consciousness, at this point i thought i was dead and the concept of having a physical body was non existant, i simply just had forever to think and nothing but that.
After an indeterminable amount of time i started to see different symbols one after the other, the only two that i know or can remember are the egyptian ankh and sanskrit om, i still thought i was dead at this point and was so so far from this planet that the only thing that began to remind me of a physical existence was my friend singing, once id heard this come into my trip, i slowly began returning to my body.
Once i’d returned to my body, over the course of my trip i’d some how spun completely around in a different direction and was just hugging them and crying, it then took them a good 10-15 minutes to convince me that i was actually alive due to the fact that everything looked so surreal and perfect.
This experience has taught me to appreciate life and make the most of the present moment because you could drop dead at any second and because of this life’s to short to hold onto a grudge or negative feelings, i also saw the oneness, the source, we all come from the same place and are made of and linked by the same energy.

i have no idea what to think of this trip anyone?

 

[RobotRipping]

why wouldn't you think you were absolutely alive at that moment? i've had similar experiences and that is how i interpret mine. When i feel that unity, that cosmic consciousness, i feel alive, i exist, i experience, feel, see things, it's clear that you are alive. In the case of ego loss, where there is no 'I' you are still something and conscious of being that something, which basically means you can know you exist, i think therefor i am?

maybe try looking at it from a different angle. your physical body is just a bunch of particles, what you are cannot be described as such, so while you're floating in the void, i'd embrace the feeling as a feeling of being the most aware you've ever been or something like that.

5-meo-dmt gave me that kind of trip as you had 'in the void' and it was exhilarting. I guess what you experienced was ego-death or whatever you want to call it, you think you're dead and your ego dissolves into a larger entity or consciousness or something like that. Very common on DMT and other vaped psychs and heavy doses of psychs as well. As for what it means, that's up to you.