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Did he really mean what he said, or was it the MDMA

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Rambobaby93

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Joined
Feb 28, 2013
Messages
3
So first off, i guess we need some backround as to who 'he' is.
My ex-boyfriend and I dated and were really happy until he left for a while. He didn't call as much as id like, and we ended up breaking up because he didn't feel he could work and have a girlfriend at the same time. he just wanted to work.

Later a few weeks ago, he said how he would take me back when he's done working if i would. this was sober.

Last night we rolled. It was not his first time at all but it WAS my first time. He took a lot more than me and only gave me a little so i'd get accustomed to it, and not freak out or anything. It was amazingly passionate and he called me our nickname all night and it was like we weren't broken up. we had sex a LOT that night and tons of oral, and this intense emotional connection that We always felt before.
He kept saying how it's perfect 'cause its me' and that hoe could do this 'with me' because its just perfect 'with me'. And how he hasn't barely had any sex since we broke up, maybe twice over many months, and when i was sleeping, i woke up, and he was talking to me in my sleep about things and i just listened, he said that he misses me and maybe he WOULD do work and a girlfriend for me, and that he thinks of me whenever he has been with someone else, and that it's not just the sex he misses. He doesn't know i heard all this though.

I just want to know if there is any real emotional basis to what he said or if It was all just the MDMA.... i'm still so crazy for this man, and it would mean everything to me if what he said WAS really how he feels, but i know MDMA can have the effect of 'fake' love for people, and inappropriate bonding that isn't a real reflection of feelings.....

anyone's advice would be amazing, and helpful thanks
 
honestly it sounds like this guy has too much control over you

if i really loved a girl i wouldn't say we cant date anymore because of some job

ecstasy definitely makes everyone love everyone, so I would take what he said while rolling with a pinch of salt

anyway actions speak louder than words and it sounds like he's not really treating you as a person / more like a commodity he can drop and pick up at a later date for his convenience

thats just my 2 cents
 
Rambobaby93 said:
but i know MDMA can have the effect of 'fake' love for people, and inappropriate bonding that isn't a real reflection of feelings.....
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I wouldn't jump so far as to say that what he said about you was "fake". MDMA does glorify things although and makes current situations seem like all puppies and rainbows.

If he meant all the things he said when he was high, to the extent that you are taking them as he wants to get back together with you, he would have said them BEFORE he was high- or even afterwards for that matter.

Base your feelings on what is happening now, and not just one instance when you were high.
 
People work and have relationships all the time. In fact, almost EVERYONE does. If this guy breaks up with you because of that--he's not interested in you. E can produce these lovey dovey feelings. There may be some truth to what he said.. but not enough for you guys to actually work out. I don't know. I wouldn't trust any man whose rolling. Men will say anything to get sex--even more when they're under the influence.

Don't let it get to you. It'll only hurt you more. He might wake up the next day and be hoping that you will forget everything that happened and realize that you both were high.

You don't need someone who breaks up with you because their job. People make it work if they want it to work. And the fact that he openly admitting to having other relationships and having sex whilst not together with you? That's nice "he thought of you" but he obviously wasn't thinking enough about you.
 
Rambobaby93 said:
Later a few weeks ago, he said how he would take me back when he's done working if i would. this was sober.
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When is he going to stop working again? You know, in the real world people work until they retire. Why can't he have a relationship and work at the same time again? The only reason why he asked you this--you say yes, right?--is to ensure that he has a girl WAITING for him while he fucks around. He wants to know that you'll still be there for him in case he needs a little booty, or feels lonely, or gets "fired". This guy is just all wrong for you.
 
iLoveYouWithaKnife said:
Base your feelings on what is happening now, and not just one instance when you were high.
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I agree with this. It's likely he basically meant what he said, but the MDMA just made it seem much more powerful in his head when in reality he hasn't been thinking of it that much. Or it could be something else. We don't really know, so the best thing to do is to try not to think about what happened too much (difficult, I know) and to focus on how you two interact when sober.
 
I agree with Mysterie. The dude sounds like a bit of a user tbh. My first thought/feeling was he broke you off cause he had another interest which has obviously fallen through, now he's back with the love potion to smooth you over. I'd be treading carefully girly. Do what makes you happy, by all means give him another run but be cautious, and do what's in your interest.

All the best :)
 
talk to him sober as mdma can make false feelings of love and it can warp your concepts

what about his job means he cannot be with you? you haven't told us that.

also why does he make you an option while you make him your choice.

very one sided in terms of him controlling the situation.
 
He's changing jobs, Going back to his other job, and wants to be together then. He's rigging now
 
He's a DH on a rig, he's close now but before he was like 18 hours away, and had terrible service and we hardly got to talk, we'd skype as much as we could, and talk when we could, but we got in this big fight about not talking enough and he said Its not fair to me and that he can't work and be wit me at te same time. when he dropped all my stuff off He was crying and said it's too hard to miss me. He has called me like once a month usually just to check in and stuff..... and I talk in my sleep and i just answer whatever questions are asked, and he would talk to me before, so i must have been talking about him for him to tell me that when i was sleeping.... it's just hard because i know he loves the sex with me, and loved the sex with me cause it was always amazing, and I know he has said when he goes back to Being an electrician and is here all the time, he'd try to make it work again, its just when he was talking when i was sleeping he said that he misses me, and Would maybe try to make it work with work for me..... i just don;t know if it was the drugs, or if that's really something he'd consider. But before we rolled he grabbed my hand in the car and called me 'babe' just in passing then was like "oh sorry" cause before i said it was too hard to hear it from him..... and he sounded sad when he 'woke me up' after i was listening
 
once again, it sounds like your examining situations with the thought in mind that he might love you.

if he loved you and wanted to get back together, why wouldnt he just do that?

it still sounds like he isnt truly empathetic to your situation

good sex doesnt = a working relationship
 
OP, think about how you were on the MDMA. You said stuff that was probably over the top, right? For me, it depends on how much you feed me. If you feed me a ton, I am super lovey dovey, but just the right amount has me saying truthful stuff but not crazy "OMFG I LOVE YOU" stuff.

It sounds like he did a lot, and was probably on the extreme side of what little he felt. It doesn't mean he wasn't feeling what he said a little, but it was probably overstated. It's drugs after all.

I think MDMA can bring you closer and it can help express the things you feel if it's done at a moderate amount. The best thing to do is play it by ear and just see how he acts. Actions speak a hell of a lot louder than words.
 
Wait until he comes back so you can accurately guage where everythings at. I understand where you are coming from, and I understand where he is coming from. When he comes back, see where it goes from there. Until then, don't play too much into MDMA. Personally though, I don't think if he didn't feel that way he would be able to go THAT deep with you.
 
I know plenty of couples that have sealed the deal when they rolled together and now they are married. It breaks down a lot of barriers and opens one up. There could be a lot of validity to what he told you and maybe rolling opened up his eyes.
 
I still have to say discredit it.
A guy once told me he loved me when we were zonked out on K, and although I know he liked me a lot- saying I love you was a fucking stretch.
He obviously didn't mean it like that, and because I didn't take it seriously, it didn't ruin the short-lived relationship that we did have.

You're situation is a little bit different, I guess. Maybe just in the regard that you are way more into him, than I was into the guy I'm talking about- but either way- take it at face value.
 
laugh said:
I agree with Mysterie. The dude sounds like a bit of a user tbh. My first thought/feeling was he broke you off cause he had another interest which has obviously fallen through, now he's back with the love potion to smooth you over. I'd be treading carefully girly. Do what makes you happy, by all means give him another run but be cautious, and do what's in your interest.

All the best :)
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Me too. Move on.
 
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