Desire to roll when feeling down - advice

[Pinkpuff]

Hey guys,
I've been feeling really stressed and depressed lately because there are a lot of things going on in my life. Life is so difficult to deal with, it really makes me go crazy sometimes! Anyways, I've been having some huge desires to roll because of how I'm feeling, so I can feel amazing for some hours. Thankfully, I know that is definitely not a good idea, and I would never actually act on my impulses (especially since I haven't rolled in 1.5 months and am about to roll at a rave this Saturday and don't want to ruin it).

I try to drown that feeling with xanax sometimes, because there's nothing else I really do (I don't smoke week or do anything else really), because I feel that, at those times, it's really hard to be sober. My question is, are there any of you guys who go through tough times and have the intense desire to roll, but DON'T act on those kinds of impulses? If so, what do you do to deal with life when it's being a bitch (and to control the desires to be under the influence)?

Thanks in advance

 

[Keaton]

Maybe, you should try to get clean? It will be hell to do, but in the end you'll probably feel great. I'm not saying for the rest of your life, but for some amount of time.
And keep in mind that rolling, will make it worse, after the roll is done, you'll feel much worse..
I went through the same thing when my dad was in the hospital, but I acted on it and in the end, the after effects, made me feel worse. Just Keep your head up and just soldier on. You'll be fine

 

[Pinkpuff]

Thank you, I think that would be a good idea. Unfortunately, I don't feel like I'm ready to stop just yet :[ I know I eventually will, but I want to be able to continue enjoying myself while I'm still young (18 ), because I know that when I'm older things won't be as simple as they are now...

 

[Bsiren]

I'm always of the mind that drugs/alcohol should be used as an accessory to an already good situation- never as medicine in a bad situation. In the end, you wind up still in your bad situation, in the afterglow of how good it felt to recently escape from it, and you'll crave MDMA (or something else) even more.

Of course, that advice sounds great in principal, but I'm sure that being in your situation and how you're feeling is extremely difficult =(

I'd just say make your decision based on the results you've gotten before- when you were down, and chose to use drugs to escape from it, what was the result? That's likely how this will pan out. If the result was not good, then deciding to do now MDMA will just be a self destructive move.

 

[nanchan]

I think about rolling / want to roll every day, but I know it's a bad idea so I don't. When I'm feeling shitty or depressed I usually just blast some happy hardcore and stomp around my room until I'm feeling a little bit better. HHC always cheers me up.

 

[Keaton]

Thank you, I think that would be a good idea. Unfortunately, I don't feel like I'm ready to stop just yet :[ I know I eventually will, but I want to be able to continue enjoying myself while I'm still young (18 ), because I know that when I'm older things won't be as simple as they are now...

I am in the same boat you're in. I'm turning 18 on the 23rd and I'm in a huge rush to try all these different substances. Also, when my family,being the miserable fucks that they are, stresstes me out cuz they can't do anything themselves, all I wanna do is roll and bake, and I used to donit for the same reason you said, I'm young and I wanna have fun. I understand what you're going through, it's tough. I'm speaking from experience tho.

 

[FrankieBonez]

Think about it this way. Is 4 hours of happiness worth like a week of being more depressed than you usually are? The only 'medicine' I use that helps is weed. Once you start throwing xanax and others in the mix it can go downhill easily. Try meditating, helps me A LOT.

 

[Gerald92]

ya i dont crave E in bad situations. the only cravings i get are either random or when im on another drug. but then again i smoke everyday, so i guess that kind of drowns stuff out in a way.

 

[Pinkpuff]

Thanks for the responses guys, they were helpful.
I'm going to tough things out atm! And when I do roll I will not roll just to deal with the situations I'm in, but only at events to enhance the experiences.