Depression?

[zooms]

I kind of don't know whether this is the correct place and, I'm sure you don't care but, I need to get this out.

So recently I've become what I can only describe as being depressed. In theory, it should make no sense. I'm kinda popular, though I seclude myself; I prefer to be alone than with others, except a female partner. I`m fairly good looking, I dress pretty well, I have a good presence 'bout myself, I`m sweet... the kinda 'do anything for anybody' attitude. I always get people having long talks with me, and they end up going away happier, which 'should' be good for myself esteem. Women find me attractive, I think it's more my personality than my looks, though. I`m working, and I have many friends.... but, I`m just not happy.

I don't know what is wrong with me. When I`m not working, I will just stay cooped up in my house. I don't want to go out with friends.. be it for a few beers, just to hang out etc. I don't particularly want to go see my family.. sisters, nephews/nieces. I have recently split up with my girlfriend, but it didn't particularly bother me, as the distance was hard anyway. She's now happy with somebody else(yes, she's a fast mover I guess), and I`m glad for her.

I find myself constantly debating the meaning of life. Not to the point of suicide or anything but, I just keep thinking 'what is the point?'. If I had a girlfriend who lived close, that would change my thoughts but, it shouldn't take a girl to make me happy... right? I keep trying to think positive etc, but I can't. Everything seems pointless.

So, I was wondering... am I actually depressed? Have any of you ever felt like this before, and if so, how did you get over it? As right now, I see me stuck in this mindframe for the forseeable future.

Sorry if this was boring etc, I really am, just would be nice to hear some thoughts on overcoming this godawful state of mind.

Thanks in advance, much appreciated.

 

[malakaix]

To me is sounds like your lacking direction or purpose in your life, i only mention this because you sound very much like myself and unfortunately i am still in that stagnant stage where i have friends,family,work but i dont feel like im progressing..

Hopefully other's can contribute more constructive advice.

 

[dtta]

Hi zooms. You mention you don't want to kill yourself, but that said, do you have a feeling that you don't care whether you live or die? Kinda a "meh" reaction to being alive?

Reason I ask is a lot of times people CBF to hurt themselves because they're so indifferent to everything.

Make any sense?

 

[zooms]

I guess I sort of don't care whether I live or die, as living does seem kind of pointless... like there's nothing to it.

Aye it does make sense but I`m not going to hurt myself like, I don't want people thinking that. I`m just trying to make sense of how, why or where it went wrong, and seeking advice to attempt to make it better

 

[tamoz]

it seems to me that you are showing classic signs of depression. People do not understand depressed people, they usually assume you are acting out for atttention.ugh.you can live in a big house and have a great job, a gf/wife, and all the things that people want to have, and yet you can still be depressed.

Wake up people, mental illness is a disease, not a bout for attention.

 

[zooms]

That's exactly what I feel like. I didn't want to say anything to anybody, incase they just think I`m an attention seeking punk, but I had to.

To make things worse, I've just walked out of work, at about 11pm, just because I thought 'fuck this shit, why am I here?'. Which has probably just made me jobless.

Do I seek professional help? Or can I reduce the negative thoughts, and do things myself to make this go away?

 

[prayersfor.rain]

Definitely sounds like depression. I lost interest in EVERYTHING the last time I was depressed (I'm bipolar, depression happens). There was no reason why I was depressed other than the whole bipolar deal. I was happy in life and then everything sucked and I didn't want to be awake anymore.

My old psychologist gave me a list of things to do when I'm depressed. Like, even if I don't want to go out with my friends, DO IT. Exercise. Pick up a new hobby. Learn to meditate. Etc. I wish I could remember more, I'd list them out for you because while they didn't fix everything, it was enough to keep me going. Just kept my head above the water.

After a while I got on antidepressants and they help a LOT. Life isn't boring anymore. I want to hang out with my friends, I want to read, music sounds good again, food tastes good again (was like cardboard while depressed), I have energy. I'm able to get things done and I don't feel overwhelmed.

I'd recommend finding a therapist to talk to. Always see if you can fix it without meds first.
But if you do end up needing medication, it's ok. Life happens, do what you need to do to stay happy and healthy.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Sorry if this was boring etc, I really am, just would be nice to hear some thoughts on overcoming this godawful state of mind.

Hi zooms, firstly, no it's not boring and yes we do care, that's what this forum is here for

So recently I've become what I can only describe as being depressed. In theory, it should make no sense.

I can definitely relate to this. The thing about mental illness is that a lot of the time is doesn't make sense. Depression is caused by a chronic chemical imbalance in the brain, yes it can sometimes be triggered by life events but sometimes it happens out of the blue, for no external reason. But you can't argue with how you're feeling.

So, I was wondering... am I actually depressed? Have any of you ever felt like this before, and if so, how did you get over it? As right now, I see me stuck in this mindframe for the forseeable future.

You do have symptoms of depression. Whether or not you have a clinical case depends mainly on how long it's been going on for, and the extent to which it impedes your every-day life. The point at which I think people should get help for mental issues e.g. depression, anxiety etc, is when it starts to interfer with how you live your life. If your depression is causing you to miss out on school or work, or to avoid socialising and therefore negatively affecting your relationships etc, then I think you need to get help.

Plus, all that aside, it is just plain SHIT feeling like this every single day, it's not fun.

The good news is that you can treat it, and the sooner you see someone about it, the sooner you will feel happy again

First step is to talk to your doctor about it, see what they recommend. They may refer you to a psychologist/therapist, or they may discuss some other options. I would also recommend that you speak to a close friend or family member about how you're feeling. Chances are that they won't think you're stupid or just wanting attention, they will take you seriously. It can help a LOT just having the support of someone you know and trust.

Good luck, and let us know how you go

 

[Cane2theLeft]

^excellent advice, n3o. spot on.

OP, it sounds like you haven't found what you're passionate about in life and you are still trying to search for your identity. You obviously have a lot of positive characteristics that are apparent to you and you are bright so keep exploring and you will find your passions and in that, you'll find meaning.

 

[zooms]

Big thanks for the advice, especially n3o, means a lot.

It's kind of weird because, I`m not like, really unhappy but, I just don't care 'bout anything. I've never been one to kick up a fuss over much but, now, it's just at the next level.

I`ve booked an appointment with my doctor for next week, and I guess I`ll see what happens, and how I progress from there.

Thanks again, much appreciated,

 

[Wizzle]

Over here family doctors regularly prescribe antidepressants. I would be weary of this and ask for a psychologist/psychiatrist first if said thing happens.

 

[n3ophy7e]

^^ This is a very good point, because while I am personally pro-medications for cases that deem appropriate, I also acknowledge that anti-depressants are generally over-prescribed in this day and age so it is indeed something we should be wary of.

Anti-depressants have their place, but in my opinion should only be explored if counselling/therapy hasn't had the desired effect first.

 

[Wizzle]

Yeah, exactly.. I'm not against any meds really. But personally, I was shocked to hear about this. A family doctor is (usually) not really educated on psychology, how does he determine your depressed and how does he determine therapy or a combo of meds and therapy isn't the way to go for you? I definitely wouldn't trust my family doctor on something this serious.

Why would you need a surgeon to pull your molars out and for something as serious as depression your family doctor can handle it? It just doesn't make sense.

Anyhow, zooms, good luck with your appointment, I hope you find out what's making you feel this way so you can treat it.

 

[dtta]

Wizzle that's an interesting way to look at it, the way you put it.

I was going to suggest to zooms that he refuse anti-d's at this time, as long as he's of no threat to himself, whether consciously or by not caring what happens to himself to such a degree that he starts taking bad risks. (Man, I speak from experience on THAT one )

The anti-d's, zooms, are excellent in terms of bringing you back up to a nominal state, but have side-effects, withdrawal symptoms and in certain cases can have undesirable psychoactive affects.

I'm with n3o -- as long as your not suicidal or self-harming, I'd strongly recommend you speak with a psychologist before accepting any meds.

 

[hobhead]

most people have to make up their version of the 'point of life' . some make better choices than others . depression takes away any happiness and leads to rumination .
an obvious bad choice that many here have made in response to depression is a head long dive into intoxicants . that is so fucked because addiction does a tune on one's mental, physical and emotional health .

it's a real struggle and some of us were set up, in a manner of speaking, by spectacularly fucked upbringing .

 

[andreas]

I would use meds as a last option

"The point"- to me is that we are here to learn and grow not to collect materials or spend hours upon hours in an office,many people who are rich,even famous feel life is pointless. This is because we have all been conditioned to want more no matter what we have or what we accomplish.

you need to sit down with a really good friend or a psychologist- who ever you feel you will be most honest with. Many people believe depression is a chemical in balance in the brain, this is some times the case. However, this is not the whole story if it were than drugs like MDMA,MDA and some of the psychedelics would not work with such short and some times single doses.DONT GO POPPING PILLS OR PSYCHES unless you know a Doctor that will addminister them. Figure out why you feel the way you do.

like many here I have been where you are, there is light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to want it and look deep with in you,

good luck keep us posted

 

[Kallisti]

Big thanks for the advice, especially n3o, means a lot.

It's kind of weird because, I`m not like, really unhappy but, I just don't care 'bout anything.

I think that this feeling (or lack thereof) is called anhedonia and is a common symptom of depression, probably just as common as feeling overly sad. I've dealt with it on and off and it is, to me, a scary thing because I always get to thinking "What if I never feel anything AGAIN?!?" which is probably pretty irrational. I have always come out of it sooner or later, sometimes with great effort. Really, one of the best things to do, because you sound like you are reasonably functional, is to force yourself to do all of the things that get you out of bed............ either out around people, or engaged in a productive hobby if you are introverted.

This situation is probably one of the only ones where the whole 'fake it till you make it' thing applies. Going about your day-to-day activities as though you do not feel depressed will help because it will provide a schedule, sense of accomplishment, social contact, and other things that depression can take away from you. I would avoid anything substance wise that has a depressant effect on the body, and the substances that will reliably chemically create anhedonia like some benzos and seroquel-like meds. Also, sleeping too much will make it worse. I hope you feel better! We do care, and it is good that you decided to reach out

 

[tamoz]

That's exactly what I feel like. I didn't want to say anything to anybody, incase they just think I`m an attention seeking punk, but I had to.

To make things worse, I've just walked out of work, at about 11pm, just because I thought 'fuck this shit, why am I here?'. Which has probably just made me jobless.

Do I seek professional help? Or can I reduce the negative thoughts, and do things myself to make this go away?

I think it would be best to just see a doctor of some sort. I see my psych doc once a month, and at least he gives me Klonopin( anxiolytic) and various antidepressants. Its not as bas as one would think, as long as you have a good doc that understands. When you're struck by depression you dont want to see or talk to anyone, but it would be best to at least try professional help. I just wish you the best and I hope you can find the strength to not do anything you will later regret. You may feel life is not worth living, but there is always another day brother.