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depression.

Swift Serenity

Swift Serenity

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 25, 2008
Messages
1,129
Location
Austin, Texas
lately when i smoke i have been hallucinating and other stuff like tripping but also being high, its great. but i also have been playing out situations in my head and i cant seem to get it out of my head no matter what. and the situations are stuff that is bad, like i feel guilty, or things if i was to be caught, generally just played out bad situations. it always appears on my comedown, and i dont know how to stop it. is this normal? i talked to one of my friends who said its getting me to become depressed. he told me it comes on slowly and unexpected, and all the symptoms he were telling me seemed to match. but when i smoked with him nothing like that happened so i am thinking maybe its when i am alone? its really bothering me because i cant seem to enjoy my high the whole time, instead i start to feel really down and go to sleep like that. i will try to ignore it and look at the positive things, because sometimes i do snap out of it, but go back to being down.
 
Maybe six months ago, i had several profound experiences with friends, whereby it seemed my mind felt the need to communicate to my subconscious about all the stupid and irresponsible stuff i'd done. The next few times, i couldn't reach my regular level of comfort with MJ, because i too had scenarios from the past, and scenarios that were purely of hypothetical nature and imagination that brought me immense guilt, sadness and general unhappiness.
Whether it be about the way i had acted to friends or just randoms, making a fool of myself; interactions with friends of friends; actions with or lack of action with girls; general dissatisfaction with the way i was spending my days.

I've played around with a few more drugs since those 6months, and i think i've actually had the ability to look inside myself and see these things as psychological metaphor that my brain is trying to give me. Perhaps i've misinterpreted them, perhaps not, but i have less frequent occurrences now. They are however popping into my sobriety, which is somewhat of a problem, but i'm not truly depressed, just pangs of guilt as before.

Have you tried consulting close friends / family / medical help? Do you feel it as a definite problem, or just an inconvenience? Perhaps you too may find relief in objectively assessing these 'situations in your head', perhaps they have meaning for you.
 
idk but that first and second paragraph you wrote pretty much explained exactly how i am right now. yes i have sort of talked to some friends about it but never saw it to be a problem until my friend brought up the thing about depression. i dont feel like its a definite problem, but somewhat an inconvenience. sometimes though i love the fact of how much i just learn about myself. but really i would just like these feelings and situations i play out to go away.. its not a big problem.. yet. but i dont want it to turn to one you know?
 
Weed is a way to reorganize the furniture in your brain, sometimes you dont like what you find under the couch. Change your life so you can start to enjoy weed again.
 
Temeraroius said:
Weed is a way to reorganize the furniture in your brain, sometimes you dont like what you find under the couch. Change your life so you can start to enjoy weed again.
Click to expand...

Agreed, or stop smoking it. I did for 2 years when I got very bad depression/anxiety, not from herb but from fucked up stuff that had happened in my life.
 
yea its mainly stuff that has happened in my life, like i keep re visiting the past you know? maybe ill try to just have a more positive outlook while i smoke
 
Temerarious speaks the truth. Perhaps you need to change your lifestyle or life, as you are subconsciously unhappy with it. Perhaps you only need to change certain aspects.
You do sound like you share a similar problem as what i had/have.
It's also difficult to tell for me, exactly what did it, as i was maturing out of adolescence, not to mention a string of crap from that year.

Try looking inside yourself and at these thoughts.
But also, try modifying your diet, exercise and smoking quota. If you don't smoke too much, just wait a while, then have another go at it once you've at least tried to solve your dilemma.
The Brain works in wondrous and beautiful ways :)
 
Temeraroius said:
Weed is a way to reorganize the furniture in your brain, sometimes you dont like what you find under the couch. Change your life so you can start to enjoy weed again.
Click to expand...


Very wise.

Ive been experiencing some of this lately, and it is directly due to my lifestyle... the herb is a very powerful drug, and these insights are actually helping me make the necessary changes to right my life (so long as I'm not high all day).

I think weed opens up our eyes more than we realise, and is prob the reason it is illegal.
 
Don Quixote said:
Temerarious speaks the truth. Perhaps you need to change your lifestyle or life, as you are subconsciously unhappy with it. Perhaps you only need to change certain aspects.
You do sound like you share a similar problem as what i had/have.
It's also difficult to tell for me, exactly what did it, as i was maturing out of adolescence, not to mention a string of crap from that year.

Try looking inside yourself and at these thoughts.
But also, try modifying your diet, exercise and smoking quota. If you don't smoke too much, just wait a while, then have another go at it once you've at least tried to solve your dilemma.
The Brain works in wondrous and beautiful ways :)
Click to expand...

Its not im unhappy with it, or living a bad lifestyle. yes when i have these insights and situation it is helping me make the little changes, but still i dont see what i can change about my life when i have changed a lot already and going in the right path now.. hmm maybe its just another episode that will pass by
 
I find it interesting that a few weeks ago I love to smoke. About a week ago I was arrested (for possession and smoking) and since then I've lit up once, it wasn't fun. I used to smoke probably 3 or 4 times a day but if I cant enjoy my high because of guilt or worry or depression, its not worth it.
 
nigguh i know wat ur talking about

one time when i was smoking with simone, i was just sitting there thinking to myself

got real depressed about all the bad crap ive done to the past - pyka (u know wat im talking about)

and i started crying.

in fact, i ended up crying like 3 times in that two hour high

i think its b/c you're smoking less that you're used to, so you're getting more of the psychedelic features of the weed - which come with mental trips (and sometimes contain guilt trips)

i doubt it'll last long man, pretty soon u'll learn alot about urself and enjoy it more than ever.

plus, ur kinda going thru some stress right now - it'll all kill over nigguh

give it time
 
yea exactly the same with me but other stuff, some not even about me but it made me really sad and i cried like twice. today i smoked (which is rare during day haha) and i had a more positive outlook and had fun!


it will get better ;)
 
marijuana, sometimes can make you feel worse, it gets rid of all the chemicals in your brain, you need to find a high that leaves you feeling nice and you won't come down off of it, feeling completly terrible, if it is avaliable try finding some cactus, sometimes it is even avaliable at a local hardwear store in the plant section, just be careful you don't find the right one, if you have any questions p.m. me.
 
^^ dont listen to him. There are various cacti that are hallucenagenic and not great if you are feeling really depressed. Also THC doesnt rid your brain of chemicals you are just wrong.
 
Eh, for every good opinion on this board there has to be a few retards, its acceptable. I know that in my life, I have to make room to smoke in my brain. I cant enjoy smoking unless my homework is done, unless my responsibilities are fulfilled etc. otherwise I feel guilty etc. A lot of your high is influenced by the situation you are in. The same way people think they see god when they are on DMT or acid, they arent seeing god in a drug, they are using a drug to see god in themselves. Weed is similar to this in that your experience is coming from inside you, weed is just the key that opens the door to that part of your mind. Ahhh weed wisdom. I really hate fuckers who smoke for the wrong reasons, use weed dont abuse it, its just disrespectful, to your fellow smokers, to the plant, to yourself.
 
Temeraroius said:
I find it interesting that a few weeks ago I love to smoke. About a week ago I was arrested (for possession and smoking) and since then I've lit up once, it wasn't fun. I used to smoke probably 3 or 4 times a day but if I cant enjoy my high because of guilt or worry or depression, its not worth it.
Click to expand...

Thats a bummer man, I was recently arrested and smoked that day. It's easier to not feel guilty when I know it was wrong that I was arrested for pot. I wasn't the one that was wrong so why should I feel guilty?

I can defiantly understand what your saying about smoking being an easier to enjoy experience when you've taken care of what's important first, but I find that is the case with almost everything in life, not just bud.
 
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