depression/thought processes and rolling

A

angeldove

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 22, 2000
Messages
37
Location
State College, Pa USA
I hope you guys can help answer some of my questions!!! I started rolling about a year ago, but this past summer I started rolling more frequently...maybe two/three times a month,sometimes more. Anyways, I stopped rolling for about four months and within that time I I became very depressed. My moods were constantly up and down, and I just would be sad often for no noticeable reason. I can't help but think that much of this is a result from rolling. It's also worth mentioning that all my friends who I rolled with over the summer also stopped for the same period of time and have all been going through similar emotions. Another concern I wanted to mention was my thinking patterns. I have always been someone who thinks a lot about everything, however, after I started rolling, I feel like my thought process has been enhanced. I feel like I think way too much and sometimes I wish I could just shut off my brain and stop thinking! It's like my thoughts are often never-ending with one leading to the next and to the next... This isn't all bad, I love having a lot of insight into things,and you can certainly have great conversations, but sometimes I just want my brain to stop thinking! Anyways, I am just curious if rolling affects thought processes and if so, how? Hopefully someone can identify with this, or atleast have some answers! Thanks!
 
Angeldove,
I definately can relate to what you are going through. I don't think that there is any physical evidence that e changes your thought processes. But I personally think it does. It opens your mind to a whole new world of emotions. Often amplifying the ones you already have. I also think that it's good to take a break once in a while and it is likely to experience some depression especially since the situations you experience while rolling are a unique in themselves and cannot often times be found in other places. The off time is when I think you need to find happiness and peace within yourself, which will also make your rolling time more fun. Just a few thoughts and a Hug cause I know ho you feel.
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"Without any intentional, fancy way of adjusting yourself, to express yourself as you are is the most important thing"
 
As far as thought processies... that is something you can learn to control... I think that it could have something to do with the "e experience" but not the e itself. As Rollwitit says, it's an awakening, and eye opening experience, and that can have some major effects on people... psycologicly.
to your depression, it could have someting to do with withdrawal from a "psycological addiction" (just a thought). alot of regular users are, in a way, addicted to the stuff. Which is why it is allways important to take a break, and discover that you don't "need" it. It's important to be at peace with yourself, and feel good about yourself, and all that rot, BEFORE you enter into the expierience. Some people just aren't prepared for it. (I'm not saying that you weren't, because I don't know)
best of luck with it.
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Who you are never realy changes... It's who you THINK you are that does.
 
When you roll MDMA releases the serotonin in your brain. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter in your brain which is associated with the regulation of mood. That is why you feel so good when eating a pill. It takes a about a week or two for your brain to replenish its supply of serotonin. That is why you should wait about that long between your rolls.
Also "there is some evidence suggesting that post-E depression may be related not only to short-term serotonin depletion, but also to 'serotonin receptor downgrading' in the brain. While not permanent, this may cause longer, more prolonged periods of depression, which are sometimes reported by frequent Ecstasy users. It has also been suggested that post-E depression may be related to neurotoxic damage."
You can visit the Dancesafe site to view a slideshow of how Ecstasy works and to find out about more info. There address is: http://www.dancesafe.org
5-htp may also help you out. It is a nutritional supplement which is the precursor to serotonin. And it may help your brain rebuild your supply of it.
Hope that helped
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I definately haven't been the same since I first dropped E. There are good and bad sides of it, and I don't regret anything one bit, though the bad side seemed incredibly BAD at the time.
For the good side, ever since I've taken E, my communication skills have improved. I'm not afraid to express what I'm feeling at the time, I can speak freely and easily with people, and I've grown alot closer to some of my friends. This of course isn't caused by the chemical itself, but I believe emotionally what happened the first time I dropped and felt the social barriars fall away. For the first time in my life I felt that I could tell the truth about anything at all without fear of the big bad world reaping it's vengence on me.
On the bad side, however, since I've taken E, although I've now cut down and seen improvements, I grew severly depressed for about 2 weeks. It actually ended up with me crying for 5 hours after a comedown one night and not being the same since. Once again, this probably isn't only a cause of the chemical, but personal and emotional problems going on in my life.
Now, I'm down to dropping only twice a month. Although I did and still do at times go through points of depression, I don't regret anything one bit. I think it made me a better person if anything.
 
Angeldove, I know exactly what you are going through too! I have just started rolling but it seems like my mind has been completely opened. I've always been one to try and examine all the angles in a situation but now even more new perspectives keep jumping out at me. I wish I could turn my mind off too! I tend to obsess over things but it's taken on a whole new meaning now. Also, it seems to me a lot of people (at least out of the ones I associate with) don't like to go into a lot of detail about their rolling experiences and kind of act like it is some extremely private thing. Nothing wrong with that, but it personally made me feel like there was something wrong with me for wanting to be so open about it. I am so glad I found this site where everyone has no problem sharing what's on their minds cause I like seeing what everyone has to say and knowing I am not alone. A lot of my questions have been answered here. Not to be too trite but I think everything happens for a reason and I hope things work out for everyone! * PLUR *
 
yep, i think too much too, always having off the wall thoughts and every once in a while, paranoia. it's torture, and i think it's probably the e, even though i do smoke pot everyday--but i did that before ever doing e, so i don't think that's it. i've only done e about 13 times over 7 months, but i've personally decided to cut my use down to once a month at the most because of these mood disturbances/changes that have recently developed. at least drugs don't affect intelligence, i'm doing quite well in college!
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:)**LIFE'S SHORT, CLENCH HARD!!**:)
 
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