Depersonalization and Derealization

[blight12]

Listen to me everyone.

I had major Depersonalisation and Derealization for about 3 years after smoking during my teenage years. I have always put it down to smoking cannabis. Basically it comes down to this. If you are prone to depression or inward thinking then this can happen regardless. Believe me when I say that it passes over time if you let it.

I honestly dont think you had real DP/DR based on what you say caused it. You may think that your experience seems to match the definition of DR/DP but as far as i know its caused by the complete lack of emotion and for that to happen you need to have fucked with your serotonin somehow. Im guessing DR/DP is open to interpretation and has probably been used to describe a number of different experiences, i just dont see how anything other then an issue with your serotonin can result in genuine DP/DR.

 

[Dimitri K.]

OP you mention DP/DR in your subject but dont go into any more detail in your post. Without trying to come across as combative, im wondering if you real experienced this. I did once for 3 days after taking far to many pills. The experience was for worse then the worst anxiety / panic attack can ever be. Once again not trying to challenge you or anything but can i ask you to try explain what it felt like? You mention having this for years and the poster above mentions 3 years. From my experience i honestly cannot see how somebody can go through this for longer then a month and not end up insane or dead? Just trying to function as a human being for 3 days was almost impossible. When everything around you has no meaning its nuts. Fortunately i logically decided to just follow routine and it worked. It was weird, i sorta ended up basically pretending my way through life, since i understood how somebody would usually act in whatever situation I was therefore able emulate being human. I imagine this would be what a psychopath feels like except hes never known any better so i guess its normal for him...
Having no emotion does not feel at all like you might imagine it would...

Thanks for the post. DP and DR are symptoms of anxiety and depression. I don't think that I've ever experienced complete ego loss. I would think of it more as ego loosening that varies based on my situation (stress levels,etc.). I really wish it was easier to explain to I"m going to go to wikipedia: "The symptoms include a sense of automation, going through the motions of life but not experiencing it, feeling as though one is in a movie, loss of conviction with one's identity, feeling as though one is in a dream, feeling a disconnection from one's body, out-of-body experience (a detachment from one's body), inability to accept ones reflection as one's own, and difficulty relating oneself to reality and the environment." At one time or another, I've experienced all of those daily. I still do I guess but I don't worry about it hardly at all (which basically makes them go away). It used to take up a ton of energy convincing myself that I wasn't going crazy. Now that it doesn't I am able to basically live my life. Every once in a while I realize how much willpower I've had to have to keep myself going at certain points. This started the summer before college. I still went to college and am still here now (finishing my second year). It's fascinating because many people think of DP and DR as being stuck in fight or flight mode. For me, it's kind of like the psychological symptoms associated with are now baseline but when I'm actually stressed (like when I have to give a presentation or something) then MY body's actual fight or flight kicks in (heart racing,sweating,etc.). That's about as close to ego loss as I've had (while giving a presentation I was absolutely GONE last year).

 

[Dimitri K.]

I honestly dont think you had real DP/DR based on what you say caused it. You may think that your experience seems to match the definition of DR/DP but as far as i know its caused by the complete lack of emotion and for that to happen you need to have fucked with your serotonin somehow. Im guessing DR/DP is open to interpretation and has probably been used to describe a number of different experiences, i just dont see how anything other then an issue with your serotonin can result in genuine DP/DR.

The reason you aren't feeling as much in the way of emotion is because your body is in a perpetual fight or flight. Basically your brain thinks there is a saber toothed tiger around the corner that you need to prepare for. While it thinks you may be in danger, it's not going to let you feel your normal emotional spectrum all of the time.

 

[jaurk]

DiMiTri, am I coming across you again? I've seen you so many times on the internet this month in different places

 

[whynaught]

Being a hypochondriac and having DP/DR is shit! I'm sure there are different kinds of DP/DR as there are different effects on DP/DR from different drugs vs. the effects on somebody without DP/DR. Methylphenidate induced my first episode of extreme Derealization. I thought I was going to die and had deja vu like sensations for days. Recently I've been considering alternate explanations for whats around me and my reality and how I fit into it, and most of the time it's pretty fucked up and depressing :/. I do agree lifestyle and health changed do really help. At times it seems like I'm not trying to make reality real but just maintaining an illusion of so.

 

[blight12]

The reason you aren't feeling as much in the way of emotion is because your body is in a perpetual fight or flight. Basically your brain thinks there is a saber toothed tiger around the corner that you need to prepare for. While it thinks you may be in danger, it's not going to let you feel your normal emotional spectrum all of the time.

Are you sure? I understand it very differently. For me completely depleting my seretonin resulted in the experience and my understanding is that its caused by the complete lack of emotion. For example i cant see it related to fight or flight because the complete lack of emotion also means no anxiety (as this is an emotion). For me the experience was in no way related to anxiety at all.

Im starting to think though that DP/DR is a general term that can describe a state of mind that may in fact cover multiple experiences and causes that result in a similar state of mind.

Or perhaps my experience was something else entirely and i mistakenly linked it to DR/DP as it seems to be appropriate. No idea...

 

[Gmo]

DP is really related to a dissociative disorder. A lot of people get it as a result of extreme depresssion.....but it's basically 24/7 dissociation. Similar to what you might experience on DXM or Ketamine....some people get it in episodes and others just have it 24/7. It doesn't completely void you of all emotion......I still get sad/mad/nervous/normal......it's just everything's dulled and fleeting. I'm also sure everyone experiences it differently, but I think in order to be considered DP there needs to be some extent of dissociation.

 

[Dimitri K.]

Just fyi for people interested in being healthier: Healthforce products will improve your life. No question about it they are the best. I take their Vitamineral Green,Vitamineral Earth, and Maca everyday and have noticed BIG improvement both psychologically and physiologically in the months since I have done so. They have tons of products and you can't go wrong but those 3 are the baseline. I've also started running much more consistently. From this point on, I want to be always training for something, be it a 5K race (like I"m doing now), a half marathon like I did this past fall, or a full marathon like I will be this fall. Even if you don't have much time, make time to do some running. You will feel a lot better.

 

[Dimitri K.]

Are you sure? I understand it very differently. For me completely depleting my seretonin resulted in the experience and my understanding is that its caused by the complete lack of emotion. For example i cant see it related to fight or flight because the complete lack of emotion also means no anxiety (as this is an emotion). For me the experience was in no way related to anxiety at all.

Im starting to think though that DP/DR is a general term that can describe a state of mind that may in fact cover multiple experiences and causes that result in a similar state of mind.

Or perhaps my experience was something else entirely and i mistakenly linked it to DR/DP as it seems to be appropriate. No idea...

I get the no emotion feeling as well definitely so I know what you are talking about. It is very important to understand that your brain is not messed up. You don't need to be on something like SSRIs (which have been proven to be placebos with negative side effects anyways). I have been on them for a couple of months because I was scared, uninformed and would try anything. It did nothing and I pulled myself off of them as quickly as I could. What you need is to not concern yourself with it at all. DP and DR almost always appear for intelligent, highly introspective and anxiety prone individuals. It doesn't just appear completely out of nowhere but it also comes as a co-effect with many different things. Moderate to high depression often has DP and DR as co-effects.

 

[Dimitri K.]

Yep it's a dissociative spectrum disorder so dissociation is quite a large part of the experience. I wouldn't go so far as to say that it is similar to K or DXM necessarily but in my first few months of having it, I did think I was on a drug.

 

[xHippiexchildx]

The BIG dandy depersonalization/derealization thread V. You are not alone

I've often asked myself why TDS doesn't have a thread like this considering 90% of the people who post here have some sort of depersonalization/derealization issues. I have these issues. Let's talk about em. How does everyone here deal with it?

I basically deal with it by keeping my mind occupied on something and not to think too much.. Working out, Work, Playing the 360, Hanging out with my bestfriend, dating girls, etc.

 

[n3ophy7e]

We do have a thread on Depersonalization/Derealization already Hippiechild But thank you for taking the initiative to start this thread.
I'm going to merge this with that one.

 

[Dimitri K.]

I've often asked myself why TDS doesn't have a thread like this considering 90% of the people who post here have some sort of depersonalization/derealization issues.

Would you really think it's that high a percentage? I mean DP and DR are super prevalent among people in certain nerve wracking situations but certainly not the majority if the time. Anyways, what I've been doing is attempting to maintain some sort of order. At the moment that means taking college classes (a bit more stressful than I'd necessarily like but a good time investment), running a lot, and eating healthy. The keeping your mind off of it is critical. I do still play video games once in a while but I've switched to watching more docs and stuff.

 

[Tude]

DP and DR almost always occur together. DP is more of a loosening of the ego, distancing from your "Self" and your thoughts. DR is where you look around and can't quite grasp what you are seeing. Not quite "real." It seems like you are watching a TV show or something while also being part of it while also being completely distanced from the entire experience.

I definitely have DR episodes, but what does DP feel like?