Recovery Dealing with PAWS from heroin

[bunny22]

Hi guys,

So I have been clean off heroin since the 16th of May.

Since I was 15 years old I have self medicated my insomnia with alcohol, then drugs.

Now being clean I uncover a lot of issues, childhood trauma, anxiety/panick attacks.
I thihk cognitive behavioural therapy might help? But idk guys.

Currently what I am dealing with is insomnia, bad dreams, panick attacks and lethargy. Lots of lethargy. However if I smoke weed or take benzos, the lethargy is gone. My girlfriend suspects I might have mild depression from PAWS(or could very well be something I always had but I haven't deal with them)

For 10 days I took gerodorm to deal with the insomnia, then I took between 1.5mg and 2.5mg xanax for 4 days. Monday I took 0.5mg xanax again before an interview and yesterday 0.5mg again.

Now since I managed to get weed, I stopped taking benzos for sleep/lethargy.
I still find it really weird that 0.5mg xanax gives me energy(well, it stops the lethargy so it makes me feel normal, but energic compared to the previous state).

Now, I know clonidine might help but I can't get any. I am strapped at the countryside with no buses to the town, no pharmacy around me, etc

All I have is xanax, weed trazodone and escitalopram(cipralex). Beside weed and xanax I haven't taken any but have the trazodone and escitalopram in the house.

I ll return to netherlands in 9 days and I ll be able to basically get anything, but I feel like by that time, the lethargy should pass? Or am I wrong.

I have been smoking for almost 1 year around 0.5g-1g per day. Quality varied wildly but we not have the fentanyl xylazine stuff in netherlands.

Any insights into dealing with PAWS will help me. I have an online doctor appointment next Monday with my addiction specialists(the guys that gave me suboxone but I threw it away and went cold turkey. I tried giving them to some homelwss people but in romania we have a spice epidemic so noone was really interested. So i threw them in a random thrash bin)

My treatment was supposed to be 8mg suboxone for 2 months then tapering down but I got scared of what I read online and decided to quit cold turkey

I am also concerned to not become physical addicted to xanax/benzos

Please help. Thank you guys

 

[Delam]

I found Wim Hoff breathing techniques couples with cold showers, healthy eating and regular exercise helpful for lethargy, anxiety and low mood. Takes a bit of effort at first to implement these things into your daily routine but once you feel the benefits it becomes a positive habit/lifestyle like any other. I would do the Wim Hoff for 20 mins in the morning then cold shower. I would always feel pretty energetic and less anxious to start the day. I promise you its worth looking into (if you haven't tried these things already.

 

[bunny22]

I found Wim Hoff breathing techniques couples with cold showers, healthy eating and regular exercise helpful for lethargy, anxiety and low mood. Takes a bit of effort at first to implement these things into your daily routine but once you feel the benefits it becomes a positive habit/lifestyle like any other. I would do the Wim Hoff for 20 mins in the morning then cold shower. I would always feel pretty energetic and less anxious to start the day. I promise you its worth looking into (if you haven't tried these things already.

It worths a try. Thank you

 

[bunny22]

So the night sleep was pretty bad. 2nd day in a row. But I guess I managed to sleep about 6 hours. I had to smoke before bed.

I woke up pretty lethargic, took 800ug of vitamin D and 2 pills of a B complex.
Drank 1 coffee and around 400ml of energy drink.

I am feeling pretty weak, with not really too much energy. I ran for like 20 minutes but it didn't really help.

I started eating more.

I am surprised how long the PAWS last and how annoying they are. I could see myself relapsing if I was in the Netherlands. Hopefully my vacation is for another 6 days so by then I hope symptoms will be better.
I ll delete all my dealers before I arrive.

 

[Jnowhere]

So the night sleep was pretty bad. 2nd day in a row. But I guess I managed to sleep about 6 hours. I had to smoke before bed.

I woke up pretty lethargic, took 800ug of vitamin D and 2 pills of a B complex.
Drank 1 coffee and around 400ml of energy drink.

I am feeling pretty weak, with not really too much energy. I ran for like 20 minutes but it didn't really help.

I started eating more.

I am surprised how long the PAWS last and how annoying they are. I could see myself relapsing if I was in the Netherlands. Hopefully my vacation is for another 6 days so by then I hope symptoms will be better.
I ll delete all my dealers before I arrive.

Don't give in, all that misery will be for nothing. Just remember a lot of people die when they relapse. Also according to what I read it doesn't seem like there is a time line for PAWS. All I can say is hang in there.
The only suggestions I read; are the typical one eat healthy, exercise, reduce stress and support or counseling.
I wish I could be of more help

 

[bunny22]

Don't give in, all that misery will be for nothing. Just remember a lot of people die when they relapse.

Thank you man. You are really supportive and knowledgeable. My mother has extreme back issues and she still works the field. Like tomatoes, cucumbers and stuff and she never complains. She is in unbelievable amounts of pain and keeps going.
I think of her when the PAWS become too annoying.

I have people counting on me so I can't fuck up.
I am also more healthy and make healthy decisions. I started reading Robert Sapolsky who brings some insights into why I made certain decisions but it doesn't really come with a solution(or he didn't as far as I read)

I am kinda a shell of a man but I am getting better. It is just extremely slow

 

[Jnowhere]

Don't let any substance control you. Alcohol destroyed me, now I have opiods and Benzos to deal with. I don't know when or how but oxycodone doesn't scare me the way benzos do, I have no idea what to do.
Sorry to whine about that. I have a lot to consider and no idea what to do.
Once the Paws have stopped you will be fine again. Just don't relapse, it gets harder to quit the more you try and fail. I wish the best, bro. PM anytime

 

[bunny22]

Sleep pretty bad tonight. Managed to fall asleep around 2am and woke up around 8:30. Had to smoke 2 joints to be able to sleep.

Woke up pretty tired. Took 2x B complex and 2x vitamin d(800ug total) and drank one coffee one energy drink.

I had a small headache and the lethargy stayed during the whole time. Smoking a joint resolved them thou.

I also ate pretty healthy.

I am staying strong

 

[bunny22]

Also no benzos since either 3 days ago or 5 days ago( last dose was 0.5mg xanax. Don't remember if it was 3 or 5 days ago)

I think I should have seizures by now if I was physically addicted. So I guess around 17-18 days is not enough to cause physical addiction. I also had some days break between some doses

 

[bunny22]

I just noticed that considering everything me and my girlfriend smoked around 120g of weed per month for the last year, however we managed to smoke only 10g in 10 days.

I smoked another 0.3g of weed with my girlfriend. It seems to take all the issues PAWS gives me away. Colours seem brighter, I am actually happy, my mind is running.

Now me and my girlfriend are making tiramisu. I am really excited. A bit high but feeling pretty good. Too bad I can't study feeling like this. Well, I can but I detered from since it takes a lot more time to understand new concepts. But I guess I should do it anyway.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day

 

[Jnowhere]

Keep up the good work