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Dead sex life on opiates..

kace

kace

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 12, 2010
Messages
679
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UK
Hi there. I was wondering if you could give me some advice please? My boyfriend and I have been going out for about a year and a half now. We are both heroin addicts, attempting to become clean via methadone.
Our sex life is well.. shit. We have sex maybe once every 3 weeks or so.. We don't drink or do other drugs other than smoking gear or white. It doesn't usually bother me, but now in my slightly drunken state I realise how we have no passion or sex left in our relationship :(. Why is it so bad? How can I make it better and get the passion back? Or is this a sign that we should end it? :/ Thanks x
 
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I wish i could give you a better answer...i will tell you this tho.me and my gf have been together for 17 years and the last 6 or 7 we have had a really bad sex life aswell but it all started when we got on the methadone program..it really screws up ones sex drive..i wouldn't doubt it if thats whats happining to him aswell
 
I used opiates for about 7 years and then was on Suboxone for 2. I had no sex drive whatsoever when I was doing oxy/h. When I was put on Suboxone my drive came back somewhat but I had a similar experience in my relationship regarding lack of passion, "romance", etc.. My relationship started to fail, I was dumped, and that's what made me get off the suboxone. And obviously cause I was just tired of having my life ruled by meds. Anyway, as soon as I got off the subs my sex drive went up tremendously. I took the time away from my partner to go through the worst of the withdrawals and eventually we got back together and its better, and much more healthier than it ever was..

You have to be honest with your bf, talk it out and go from there. Maybe he's feeling the same way. Maybe you can do this together, maybe you can't. It may not be what you want to hear but you come first-whether it's with him or someone else you may meet-the opiates will always make you put your love life second. Hope this helps a bit. Good luck.
 
Well maybe you should try something different, quit methadone, try MDMA or 2cb or another mood enhancer, the methadone has put you in a dead place. Downers have that effect.

Hell try to flatout start sex. Men actually love it if women start foreplay first. Try simple acts of intimacy, take a shower together, sleep naked together, watch porn together, suggest you go to an adult book store to buy something
 
When I was using H I felt like it in some way too the place of sex and being sexual and never bothered me, but like you would sometimes have realizations that I was having a almost completely sexless life. You will eventually be super horny once you get off opiates. And it's like having sex for the first time!!! You'll be very sensitive downstairs.
 
if you can cut back opiates to like once a week (difficult, i know...) you're more likely to bang

at least that's what happened with me and my ex
 
opiates are the problem, how can you connect emotionally on them? you cant.

its not just low sex drive, its the death of emotion and deep feelings
 
When I use heroin, sex is no longer a need. Neither is a social life. Neither is anything besides eating, shitting and sleeping. Heroin takes care of everything else.
 
ATLL765 said:
When I use heroin, sex is no longer a need. Neither is a social life. Neither is anything besides eating, shitting and sleeping. Heroin takes care of everything else.
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pretty mch this..when you have opiates u have no need for anything else...on opiates my sex drive was dead and even after getting off it still never came back that strong...Opiod induced Androgen deficiency im guessing..

opiods, benzos and most other drugs just crush my sex drive..
 
Thanks for your replies guys! Yeah, thinking about it, it has been bad since we started our methadone programme. God, I can't wait to get off this crap and hopefully have a normal life again. You are right saying h replaces everything. It's sad really, I want to change it, and not feel dead inside anymore.
 
I can relate, opiates do lower sex drive. When I was doing Oxy/hydro any opiate i could get my hand on that's all I thought about, no sex thoughts unless I was running low on my daily intake of opiates, then it when into hyperdrive.. Now on Suboxone, and it has lowered my sex drive, but I do think/want sex..just nobody in my life right now I partiualry want to have sex with, last time I had sex was around a year ago, on stimulants(last time I did anything like that) but, was not attracted to the person that way. A guy at work has shown interest in me, and I played hard to get forever, then when I get the balls to give him my number he now avoids me around other people, but when it's just us he will talk. Honestly, I'm not the most attracted to him but just wanted some dick. With Subs, I don't think about sex as much, but my sex drive is not killed as it was when I was actively using non maintaince meds. Gabapentin seems to raise my sex drive/decrease my anxiety I have always had...do not know how it would go with Methadone compared to Subs though...
 
The worst part about it for me is then when I'm clean, sex causes me great anxiety. When I'm using, I don't bother with chasing any relationships so then when the situation finally does arise, I'm completely freaked out. I mean, to the point where the anxiety will make it difficult to be in the mood.

Of course, no Dr wants to prescribe me any benzos, so I have to deal with the constant anxiety.
 
ATLL765 said:
The worst part about it for me is then when I'm clean, sex causes me great anxiety. When I'm using, I don't bother with chasing any relationships so then when the situation finally does arise, I'm completely freaked out. I mean, to the point where the anxiety will make it difficult to be in the mood.

Of course, no Dr wants to prescribe me any benzos, so I have to deal with the constant anxiety.
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wait, sex causes you great anxiety?or you are so consumed by getting sex that it makes you anxious?in all honest, if sex causes you anxiety, benzos will only help so much as they tend to 'deaden' sexual arousal and intimacy..i know, ive been on them around women and i felt basically zero arousal at times..not good..

methadone also hurt my sex drive..when i was on methadone, i remember i had to start taking stimulants just to feel the urge to want to have sex..it was bad..
 
belfort said:
wait, sex causes you great anxiety?or you are so consumed by getting sex that it makes you anxious?in all honest, if sex causes you anxiety, benzos will only help so much as they tend to 'deaden' sexual arousal and intimacy..i know, ive been on them around women and i felt basically zero arousal at times..not good..

methadone also hurt my sex drive..when i was on methadone, i remember i had to start taking stimulants just to feel the urge to want to have sex..it was bad..
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Everything causes me anxiety. Sex especially so. I meant the benzos would more help with the rest of the time, but if I dose correctly, I don't have too much of an issue with becoming aroused. The anxiety already does a number on that, so it could only help.
 
miscbrahh said:
if you can cut back opiates to like once a week (difficult, i know...) you're more likely to bang
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They're going onto methadone maintenance, you can't 'cut it back to once a week'. You would be so incredibly sick the rest of the time, you still wouldn't have any sex.


My wife and I are in the same position, I guess it's just one more good reason to get clean.
 
mostly-human said:
They're going onto methadone maintenance, you can't 'cut it back to once a week'. You would be so incredibly sick the rest of the time, you still wouldn't have any sex.


My wife and I are in the same position, I guess it's just one more good reason to get clean.
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Exactly....this is the same situation me and my spouse are in and NO there is no cutting back
 
lots of folks have problems with low sex drives even after quitting opiates...opiates are notorious for lowering testosterone and some people bounce back, others dont..there is a syndrome called Opiate Induced Androgen Deficiency..some need to go on testosterone replacement therapy just to feel normal again..

lol yeah the idea of only taking opiates once a week sounds great but isnt realistic at all...
 
belfort said:
lol yeah the idea of only taking opiates once a week sounds great but isnt realistic at all...
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It's not that unrealistic if you haven't picked up a regular habit, but to expect someone with a heavy, daily habit to be able to 'just cut back to once a week' is ridiculous. I can't imagine anyone who has ever experienced physical opiate withdrawals saying this.
 
belfort said:
lots of folks have problems with low sex drives even after quitting opiates...opiates are notorious for lowering testosterone and some people bounce back, others dont..there is a syndrome called Opiate Induced Androgen Deficiency..some need to go on testosterone replacement therapy just to feel normal again..

lol yeah the idea of only taking opiates once a week sounds great but isnt realistic at all...
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well that is fucking depressing. I'm not sure whether I want to Google that or not!
 
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