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Darkside emergency network

K

Khadijah

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Dec 18, 2003
Messages
16,368
Location
Hell
Nothin can beat talking to a real person face to face when you really need help
Obviously lots of peps on here aint got that or there wouldnt be so many ''please help theres no one else to listen'' posts on the dark side n all

Comin back and lookin for posts on your topic just aint the same. words can help but....you know

so i was thinking what if we stepped it up just a little bit.
you know how people always be like ''PM me if you wanna talk" when ppl got severe problems they post about?

What if we made like a fuckin network type thing, in this thread, anyone who would be willing to TRULY LISTEN and help somebody post their IM names, etc, or just let people know they can PM you and youre down for helpin somebody out

And then people who got those problems where it dont matter who it is, but you u just need SOMEONE, ANyBODy to listen, can come in this thred and pick somebody, knowing theres an ear waiting

People shouldnt sign up unless you relly gonna be willing to 'be there' for someone that you might not even know

But think of how it would feel, people who got friends can just call up cuZ they need someone to talk to. but ones who dont, could come here knowing theres someone. like those suicide hotlines where you call and they just talk to you for a while and chill you out. knowing theres always a resource when youre wiggin out and at the end of your rope.

I aint got too many hopes for it cuZ im bein realistic, but the dark side is where ppl are most understanding and relly willing to help. there IS some people here who seem geniune enough to have it in their heart to do somethin like this.

you aint gotta solve any problems for NOBODY. no psychologist shit, no tryina take care of someone, no solutions, just love n acceptance, i think you CAN feel that for someone you dont know if you been in the same spot......all it is, is a caring person who can connect with you long enough to make u feel like you aint alone

and all they would have to do to find that person is come look in this thread and pick a name of someone (it dont matter who but with luck a couple different peeps will be here and then you can pick from someone outa the group that u identify more with know what im sayin.)

well what do yall think
and if you think its a good idea
Start signin up.
 
*raises hand* I'm on for it. If I can help or just listen then you know where the PM button is and you will ALWAYS be welcome, no matter what!

my contact details are on my profile.
 
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Good idea. I don't want any of you crazy asses messaging me though. (Except lacey and Pomplemous) :)

I'll start it out :

AIM NAME : Rock Lobstore
 
if you are having problems with an ecstasy or cannabis addiction, feel free to message me at blackflam5 on aim..i should be able to help you a bit as ive got some experience in those areas.
 
AIM: kittyinthedark
e-mail: sorry, had to remove it because of snoopy parents

I'm always online, even when I'm at class and work, so if I don't respond right away, it's because I'm not home - just leave a message, and I'll get back to you. I'm very good about leaving away messages though. When I am home, I'm glued to my computer screen! Sometimes I forget to take my away messages down, so even if I show up as "away" go ahead and message me!

or PM me, or post, or ANYTHING! :)
 
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AIM: Mike Unhinged or Ketamike

I have decent experience in kicking opiates cold turkey. I've been a huge disappointment to my family. And I have experience in helping people with mental illness.

No.. I won't help you get dope if you're in NJ
 
i actually enjoy talking about this kind of stuff. i've had some problems with depression and talking with people helps out a lot. even if it is a stranger. its just nice to get shit off your chest.

hit me up any time...

aim: slimdizon86
 
YO moderators
is there a way we can make this an announcement so it stays at the top of the page?

i didnt add my AIM name btw its ChilllinInJerZ (3 L's) or holla wit a PM
 
A few thoughts on this, since I've worked with TDS from the inception. This is an excellent idea, and like most ideas it's been kicked around before. Here are a few of the reasons you don't see a thread like this AIM-network up and going:

1) Few, if any, of the people who frequent this forum are qualified professionally to handle these types of problems. Granted, most are 'experienced' enough to give guidance, but who's to say in a life-and-death immediate conversation that the people here trying to do good aren't actually causing more harm than good?

2) Despite best intentions and best efforts, sometimes things will go wrong. We have the Shrine forum with a list of BLers who've died. A few of them by OD, and a few of them by suicide. Are YOU strong enough to handle it if you tried to help someone and they died anyways? Can you give your best effort and not be torn apart when the person on the other end still hurts themselves or others, possibly even to the point of death? There is a lot of guilt possiblities out there, and to be honest TDS people on the whole aren't the most stable to begin with. This kind of guilt could hurt YOU for helping, depending on your mental/emotional state and the outcome of the conversation.

3) We don't have any safety net. If you're in the US online with someone in AUS..or even in the US themselves for that matter, and they just popped a bunch of pills - you don't have a way of getting medical help to that person, you don't know where they live, what their real name is, what exactly they took or how much - It's quite possible you just signed up to be the single spectator on a suicide you can't do anything about. I realize the intent is to *talk* the person out of it, but there's only so much you can do ultimately and besides, the person may be to drunk/drugged/etc to be very coherent or capable of reasoning if you do try to talk to them.

4) We don't know what liabilities this opens the site up to legally if a suicide does occur. Putting aside the emotional harm possiblities for the individuals involved, would the site get pulled into any legal action? How could we protect ourselves from that?

There are probably a few other reasons, but those are all I can think of this late on a Saturday nite (yes, I've got no life). Personally, I'd like to see something like this founded and started up - in fact for awhile there was a TDS chatroom set up specifically for those immediate 'listen to me, please' needs....but only the mods ever showed up in there :\ I'm not going to blow this out of the water and say "HELL NO." And even the reasons above aren't intended to kill the concept, merely to remind you of some of the traps laying out there. Let's kick this around a bit more, but I'll throw in a few other thoughts:

A) Do not put up your phone number (it's been good to see nobody doing that yet). Stick to emails, AIM, MSN, etc...things you'd share anyway. The basic personal security of online communities still applies - you don't know who might call drunk off their ass at 4AM not knowing they dialed you at home or something, or they need bail, or they just got busted and needed to point the cops at someone.

B) You can build the AIM/MSN/email list - but I'd suggest indicating your timezone and approximate local. Not enough for the cops to come bust down your door, but enough for those looking at the list to realize you are at school/work, or home, or whatever is reasonable to assume at the proper day/time for you. [edited: Then again, not being online would indicate you aren't available right now, lol]

C) Consider the chatroom idea again. This requires little effort to set up and maintain. And, you can just be idle in there when you're online - no need to get into AIM/MSN/email/localtimezone etc - and you can have more than one person immediately available if needed (while still having private conversations if needed). Also, by organizing a chatroom, you alleviate Bluelight of possible legal implications by not having the stuff on-site.

okay, long enough? lol. Still - excellent idea, just needs to be massaged into the best way to go about it. This thread (or a refined version of it) can be stickied if the mods feel it necessary, just as easily as a notice for the 24 hr chatroom (maybe both if both are pursued).

*sigh* I'll shaddup for a bit. Great concept. Good hearts (and minds) abound in here - I hope we can get them to work for the betterment of all who find TDS and need it.
 
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no I agree, hence why I just kept to PM, which is ineffectual in the heat of the moment, but you have to have boundaries, because dont forget we dont know who's out there - people who are in trouble and peple who might prey on your good honest nature and take you for a ride.

I want to see a network up, but as LoveBandit says it is fraught with potential problems.

But I am here any time you need and you know where to findme. But also I cant guarantee I can ever get to messenger things either. slow machine.
 
excellent idea and like lovebandit says its been thought of but fraught with the same problems as he says. I have to agree about qualifications, guilt etc.

That said most mods and many active members would be only to happy help. But there are better ways eg in the UK we have the Samaritans who are there 24hrs for you on the phone. There is a list on the sticky at the top of this forum with numbers for help.

Nothing is perfect and at the end of the day most is either too late or, in the situation ofsuicide,if someone wants to do it they will, most of the time suceed, unless its a cry for help.

but still keep these ideas going we may come to an middle/effective way
 
i cant help much with opiate addictions but anything else, I am truly willing to listen to anyone at all.
It doesn't matter if I don't know you and haven't spoken to you before.
I promise you will have all the time you need from me.

feel free to PM me anytime, i'll be has happy to receive it as you would be to get a decent heartfelt response from another person.



P.S - mad props to lacey for this idea
 
^^ ;) thanx

Yea yall dont take to too serious if you got all these worries about it...see the beginning what i said ''you aint gotta solve any problems for NOBODY. no psychologist shit, no tryina take care of someone, no solutions, just love n acceptance''

Know how your life s goin shitty and you go somewhere to get chinese food and at the end you get a fortune that says "Life is ups and downs but soon you shall find peace" or some confucious shit like that and even though ALL the shit thats bad is STILL THERE, that lil fortune might make you feel alittle better. thats what this ideas intendet to do
 
I'm cautious of this for the exact same reasons that TheLoveBandit is. We do have a list of emergency contact numbers in a sticky at the top of the forum for use in emergency situations, however if people just need someone to talk to, a friendly person to listen and try to help then as I have always said, my PM box is there, and I'm pretty sure my email and MSN are in my profile...

Well I'll repost them here anyway:

[email protected] <-- that's both email and MSN.

Other than that, if someone could set up a chatroom on irc or something - note: I am an IRC and chatroom n00b so I have zero idea of how to do this ;) - that would be great as it is a realtime environment that people can be in if they need to be.

One other thing, if it looks like I am ignoring you on msn, I almost definitely am not. I keep it on pretty much all the time when I am at uni and when I am at home, but I am often away from my comp for a couple of hours an miss a message or 3, but I will reply when I get back to the comp.

CB :)
 
I don't know a great deal about addictions but I can help with relationship issues, which may be part of the problem. So Pm me if you need me. Lots of people do, and I've never ignored a PM. I am a good listener and will help if I can.
 
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