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Crying the happiest tears of my life!!

ShAYZoN

ShAYZoN

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 8, 2009
Messages
676
Location
G.T.L. My Life Is Bro!!
I've been through so much 2 OD's. The drug use everthing wanting to go to rehab so bad and never finding a way to get there. I had another near death experiance read report here http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=507970 I called my best friend up who knowns I'm tryin to get clean..

I called her and got the words "I need help" "can you get me to rehab" (I knew I can't pay for it) I just recived a text later that! Drum roll!! HAS gotten me into inpatient treatment. I've never cried happy tears in so long. I haven't experianced such joy and excitment with out drugs for the past 3 years!! I'm going to get better i'm ready! If anyone out there thought it's over for them reconsider I know how you feel.. During that experiance I posed above I sat in the middle of the road accepting that I was about to die. I should be dead but I have someone who wants me alive to do something with my life. I may only be 19 but I get it.

Happiest wish's to everyone! -shayzon:)
 
Help?!?! said:
Astounding=D Now all you have to do is remember what an amazing thing your friend did for you and get clean for her sake and your own!
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I know I'm going to do this I can't wait to hit the point in my life where I don't need drugs to have a good time. Where I can go to a movie with out having to be stoned. Where I can eat normal with having to smoke weed same with sleeping. Where I don't had to take ecstasy to feel the happiness I so long for.. Where I don't have to snort painkillers to kill the pain I feel. Something good is happing I'm going to do this!
 
That's great! Life gets interesting around this point, eh?

I always cry a LOT when I laugh for some reason. It freaks people out.
 
remember this moment,.and every thing you went through to get here, some rough nights are ahead, but its all part of you true charector developing. ;)
this should be an intense experience, and some people get hung up on drama , an instance in the center, or another person. this is great, and you lucky i mean you've seen the costs.
dump out what you need to in a rational organized manner/thought process, and take in as much as you can,.sometimes we need a good brainwash... remember though, you are the one in control, its good to let your guard down and open up, but you are the one in control of your life now, not drugs, not the court, but you. you get the credit for succeeding, and the understanding that like this, you can handle almost any of lifes challenges with the will, confidence, and knowledge gained from this experience (& others) you sought out, obtained, and grew from.
 
Thanks guys all the positive renforcemet it helps alot! I'm just so pleased that something In my life may be postive for once :). Oh and I'm still having some anxiety about my heart.. Sucks but I have something that will change my life so I'm going to Try and get through it!
 
A panic attack is NOT a near death experience although it might feel like one, like I said in your other thread, you're really doing yourself no favours thinking of it that way.

Remember rehab is just the first step and it's not a cure, I've been to inpatient twice and really it's no different from quitting on the outside except there are no triggers (which sure does help a lot, but unless you deal with the real reasons you use wont do you much good when you get out amongst those triggers again).
 
I will know for sure my stuff in Thursday I'm going to a app. To get a room and then I'll just have to wait it out tell they call! :) tomorrow will be my last time smoking a bowl where going to a buffet :D ill hopefully be able to say goodbye to my drug addicted self to the new clean and serene. Shawn! Thanks guys I love the positive feedback <3 you guys!!!!
 
keep positive man, find a comfortable pace for you to handle every thing coming at you. the court system can be fair, as long as you are honest and complient, some POs got their job because they wanted to try and help people who have found themselves in some shit.

some have grown biter and will assume to revoke you before letting you wipe your ass twice. to keep you out of the system you need what you want, help, resources, the means to stay out. your PO will help you find food, shelter, the tools to get clean, connections to human resource departments, stand up for you along side you in court, maybe ignore a couple of bad UAs, or revoke you, start your old charges up again and spank you with a revocation charge; they may be counting on it, if they are a jerk, step on their toes hard and walk through the next couple years better on the other end.
 
ShAYZoN said:
Ummm it was a near death.. I overheated and my heart almost exploded belive me mixing those two is 3x the chance of od'in
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And you got a medical opinion on this? Your heart cannot 'explode'. I know what the risks of combining mdma and meth/amphetamines is as I got serotonin syndrome from that very combo. As someone who also got heart damage from overheating I'm very aware of the symptoms that accompany that and you haven't displayed them, now you very well might have heart damage, but as far as I'm aware you haven't had any medical treatment confirming this (blood tests will reveal elevated levels of creatine kinase which confirms muscle is breaking down), so it's irresponsible and counter productive to say you had a near death experience. If you want to start battling your drug problems for real you have to start being realistic.

But whatever, if saying that works for you, more power to ya. Good luck in rehab.
 
footscrazy said:
And you got a medical opinion on this? Your heart cannot 'explode'. I know what the risks of combining mdma and meth/amphetamines is as I got serotonin syndrome from that very combo. As someone who also got heart damage from overheating I'm very aware of the symptoms that accompany that and you haven't displayed them, now you very well might have heart damage, but as far as I'm aware you haven't had any medical treatment confirming this (blood tests will reveal elevated levels of creatine kinase which confirms muscle is breaking down), so it's irresponsible and counter productive to say you had a near death experience. If you want to start battling your drug problems for real you have to start being realistic.

But whatever, if saying that works for you, more power to ya. Good luck in rehab.
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Lol I know your heart can't explode... I was just saying.. Listen I'm not saying I was going to die but when you see the gates if heaven in front of you and you fall on the ground and cry and accept death.. It was near enough of death for me!
 
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