• Select Your Topic Then Scroll Down
    Alcohol Bupe Benzos
    Cocaine Heroin Opioids
    RCs Stimulants Misc
    Harm Reduction All Topics Gabapentinoids
    Tired of your habit? Struggling to cope?
    Want to regain control or get sober?
    Visit our Recovery Support Forums

Stimulants Creativity, Personality and Medication

Mr-Tambourine-Man

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 30, 2009
Messages
131
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I just moved up from 40mg to 50mg of Vyvanse and haven't noticed much difference between the doses, outside of the fact that the former comes in a green capsule and the later in a blue one. It seems I may have a bit more energy throughout the day and one of my housemates has commented that I seem calmer and am not "zipping around." I hadn't noticed that effect myself, though in hindsight my motormouth has slowed and I've been less restless. Vyvanse's effectiveness from dose to dose can be very difficult to monitor since it is so easily influenced by sleep, diet, outside stressors, etc...
The side-effect is one I experienced when I began taking Vyvanse initially. I can only describe it as a mild dulling of my personality. Perhaps this is the calming effect my housemate described. "Dull" could be a relative term. Vyvanse slows and simplifies my interior monologue to such an extent that my own thoughts seem foreign to me. This feeling of dissociation was strongest when I first started the medication. I'm not sure if it subsided or I just adjusted to it, but regardless, it is noticeable again on the 50mg dose. I do feel that this peculiar effect stifles my creativity to an extent but I may be mistaking the manic, chaotic nature of my unmedicated mind for my creative wellspring. Does anyone else have this issue?
My brain off Vyvanse may be fun and interesting, but it is not functional. Say, for example, I was driving through town unmedictaed. My inner monolgue might go a little something like this...

"It sure is nice out. I should role the windows down and turn on some music. How do you roll these windows down? Are they childproof? Hmm, what is on the radio? Ooh, I love this song. These warm leather seats feel good. Keith Richards' face looks like leather. I wonder if he'll live much longer. Oh, yeah, I was gonna roll the window down. Wait, was that my turn? How do you roll down this damn window? I need to turn around and find that street I missed. I'm hungry. Where should I eat? I'll bet Keith Richards will live longer than Cher... but not as long as Charlie Sheen. Why is that cop following me? Was I not supposed to make that U-turn? He's flashing his lights. Should I run for it? I don't even know where I am. Ugh, I'm pulling over. Keith Richards said, 'I don't have a drug problem, I have a police problem.' Do I have any drugs on me? Oh yeah, I don't do drugs. Do cops really eat alot of donuts? I like Krispy Kreme donuts. I'm hungry. Crap, here comes the cop. I think he wants to talk to me. How do you roll down this f#cking window...?"

On Vyvanse my train of thought in the same situation would be slower, clearer very concise...

"It sure is nice out. Hmm, why won't the windows roll down? That's right, the buttons on this panel haven't worked in over a week. I need to remember to get that fixed. What's on the radio? Ooh, I love this song. These leather seats feel nice. Oops, almost missed my turn... I wonder how long that cop was behind me. Good thing I wasn't speeding. I think I will pull over and get a bite to eat since I have time to spare."

Still, I do miss my unmedicated mind sometimes. I'm so used to a whirlind inside my head that the peace and quiet of Vyvanse, while initially refreshing, can become dull and even unsettling when experienced for a prolonged peiod. At least my thought process is not so cold, calculated and mechanical as it was on Adderall. There is certainly something mildly artificial about the mental clarity of Vyvanse, but it feels far more natural than Adderall, which made me feel like an automaton, mindlessly moving from task to task, accomplishing goals with precision and efficiency but nothing resembling genuine human interest. I was a robot the majority of the time, when I wasn't suffering mild delusions of grandeur.
Oftentimes, while on Vyvanse I feel as if my mind is completely empty. Closer self-examination will reveal that is is merely empty of any thought but the one I'm preparing to express in conversation or my private obsevations of my immediate environment, company, situation, etc... I used to be able to entertain multiple trains of thought at once.
I guess the problem is sometimes I feel I take Vyvanse for everyone else. I take it so that I can follow the rules of soceity, not be disruptive, etc... But I kind of miss the old me and that isn't fair. What do you guys think?
 
i rarely ever post here but since no one else replied i'll just tell you what i know from vyvanse. back in the day i would take anywhere from 90 mg to 160 mg to get high off of them, and what i noticed that was different compared to the other type of amphetamines like adderall and ritalin that i had tried before, was that vyvanse actually made me quieter. now from what i've heard from my friends who actually had add, that's what these meds are supposed to do, right? i still felt the speedy high though and my mind was far from empty, but i was just zombified when it came to talking. usually when i took adderall i was blabbing about anything nonstop but not on vyvanse. it would shut me up and make me give very simple one word responses and shit, but on the inside my mind was racing.

i'm not sure if that helps any, but that's just my experience from it
 
Yeah, Adderall amps me up and makes me talk a million miles a minute. If Valium were somehow a stimulant, it would be called Vyvanse.
 
Top